It is official: Gabe

We settled on a name this afternoon.

Gabriel Joel O'Brien

We will call him Gabe, unless we are calling him home for dinner, in which case it is easier to shout Gabriel. We like to have options.

There is nothing else pressing to decide at the moment and we couldn't be happier to just sit and stare at him. I will post some photos as soon as I get somewhere with a decent internet connection.

Baby Boy

At 7:51 in the morning (the 21st of December), we had a baby boy. He is 8 pounds, 8 ounces. I have no idea how long he is, but he is an appropriate length for the weight. He isn't a string bean and he isn't a little chunk.

He fed for about an hour and a half this morning and now he and Mary are sleeping.

Everything so far is going well. ten fingers. ten toes. His blood sugar levels are fine. His hair is not blonde, but not dark brown. I will wait for his first bath before I try to give you the definitive answer on that.

Mary is recovering from the c-section. The procedure was as relaxing and stress free as surgery can be.

I am sitting in a dark room in front of my laptop breathing a long sigh of relief. The sound of the IV drip machine and the occasional sigh from the baby is a fitting soundtrack to this placid conclusion.

What else? Oh, the name... we will have to get back to you on that. I am still trying to get Mary to agree to Boba Fett O'Brien.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

Pregnancy Diary: Entry 4

Stuff you might want to know:

1. Tuesday the 21st of December, is the day we are going to the hospital for the c-section, caesarean, cesarean, caesar, caesarian, etc.
2. Yes, since a c-section is major internal surgery, the patient would normally stay in the hospital for five days. You may ask yourself "does that mean Mary will be in the hospital for Christmas?" and it is very astute of you to ask. Thank you. If everything goes well, the doctor said she can come home on the 24th.
3. We have to be at the hospital at 5:30 in the morning which is a little silly because the procedure is scheduled for 7:30. I am confident they won't send us into the delivery room before 9:00, so please be patient.
4. The time difference between Brisbane and Wisconsin is currently 16 hours. That means at 1:30 in the afternoon on the 20th, we will arrive at the hospital.
5. We may be enjoying the moment and take some time with the new person before calling or e-mailing out the announcement, so please be patient. I am sure I will get an e-mail out within six hours of us arriving at the hospital.
6. I may have to follow that up with an e-mail a few days later with the actual name of the baby, so please be patient.
7. Mary's mom and dad, Jim and Jean, are staying with us for a few weeks. Cole and Cora will be well cared for while we spend our waking moments trying to figure out a name for this baby.

The current list of rejected names is:

Noodle (this is a favorite of mine)
Ruby (this was in our top three girl names for so long and was a guarded secret, but has not made the cut)
Cashew Kelpa (a suggestion by Cora for a girl name. I think it is cute.)
Foster
Pancreas
Sterling
Apollo
Cobra Python, or Python Cobra (Cole is still deciding which should go first)
Rolf

Mary is enjoying her last day of being pregnant and looks forward to seeing her toes.

correction

I was wrong. Sorry mom.

She sent me a well meaning forward about e-mail trackers and I responded stating that they do not exist.

Apparently they do. My initial research failed me. Wikipedia has a lovely article on them which is here.

This reaffirms that my mom is much smarter than me and that I tend to jump the gun and rant about topics that irritate me.

I do still prefer my mom's kitten e-mails to apocalyptic warnings of internet fraud.

I call shenanigans

[Edit: I was wrong. WRONG. Contrary to the notes below, which have been crossed out, e-mail tracking does exist. see the correction above. sorry mom.]

I just received an e-mail from someone about e-mail tracker programs. To protect the innocent party's identity, let us refer to her simply as mom.

The e-mail is intended to warn the ones we love about nefarious tracker programs attached to "forward this on to ten people" e-mails. It then says the following:

You can do your Friends and Family members a GREAT favor by sending this information to them.

Isn't the whole point of this e-mail to warn people about cookie trackers and not spamming people with warning forwards? How do I know there isn't a mythical cookie tracker attached to this e-mail?

E-mail tracker programs do not exist. If they did exist, I would be sitting on millions of dollars from the Bill Gates e-mail I forwarded in college in 1994.

but don't take my word for it, go to the very source referenced in the e-mail: snopes.com (also my favorite debunking web site)

Please. I implore all of you to spend the brief ten seconds of your life to check these things out on google before mechanically hitting the forward button. [note to self: do better research before blogging.]

Let us use the e-mail system for what it was intended:

e-mails telling me about how great your kid/puppy/vacation is
cute kitty pictures
I am also particularly fond of cute giraffe pictures, but I am not that picky
motivationals
people you admire
inspirational photos or words
or combinations of the above: here is a favorite photo of my cool wife from a trip we took to Utah in 2001
cute as a kitten, we were on vacation, she motivates me, I admire her and she inspires me. If I could just sneak a giraffe into the photo it would be perfect.

Pregnancy Diary: Entry 3

Where were we when I wrote last?

-No idea if it is a boy or a girl
-No solid name picked out for a boy
-Dozens of girl names to choose from
-Excited kids
-Excited/petrified us

That about sums it up and is still valid. We have two weeks to go before the next leg of the race starts.

You may find it curious that we have gone through 36+ weeks of pregnancy and this is only the third entry in the virtual diary. I myself have wondered why I haven't been showering you with an abundance of information. I think it is because we have done this before and our experiences have not been unique. Or not unique enough for me to describe to you. Or not unique enough in subject matter I wish to discuss in this particular forum. The lack of information is an indication that things have been progressing as expected.

My mother was asking if I was going to do another 'fetus watch' series like I did in 2006 when Cora was due for arrival. I had not considered it for several reasons, the main one being that we know precisely when this one will arrive. We are booked in for a hospital visit at 38 1/2 weeks and that is just fine by us. Statistically, I am assured this one will not arrive early and judging from its demeanor thus far, I am sure it will remain well behaved and punctual.

This is a very tumbly baby. It is destined for the circus or break dancing. With the other children, I would have to sit patiently with my hand on Mary's belly and wait for a kick or some movement. This one will use your hand for a speed bag if you leave it there for more than a minute.

Mary hasn't complained of too many kidney punches yet and it doesn't seem to be using her bladder for drumming practice.

A week ago, we talked with a nurse about hormones during and after the delivery of a baby. It was fascinating. Not three hours of fascinating, which is the time it took her to explain basic concepts, but for about half an hour I was very interested. There were five hormones she covered in her talk, but my new favorite is oxytocin. I am not qualified to enlighten you on how cool it is, but it is worth five minutes of your life to look it up on Wikipedia.

Current rejected names:

Newton
Frankie (for a girl)
Gertrude or Gertie
Shrek (that was Cole's suggestion)
Ben Ten (another beauty from Cole)
Rose (that is Cora's favorite)
Sport
Bison
Magnus

Cookies

This cookie recipe calls for 2 1/2 cups of rolled oats blended to a fine powder. It also has 200 grams of chopped dark chocolate dumped in and another 250 grams of chocolate chips.

With the insoluble fiber from the oats and the anti-oxidants in the dark chocolate, they are a prescription for fighting cancer. I should be given my father of the year ribbon right now for the deep concern I have with the health and well being of my children.

If I could figure out how to reduce the 2 cups of sugar the recipe calls for, I would be serving them for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

As a public service, I would like to mention that the 'Low GI' sugar sold in grocery stores may be fine for adding to your coffee but it has no place in baking. I used it in a batch of chocolate chip cookies a few weeks ago and they came out with an undissolved caramel taste that did not suit the recipe.

*urp, escuze me

My daughter likes to intentionally burp. I am sure that some day she will make a great partner to some uncouth neanderthal, but at this time I consider it very unladylike.

It would be impressive if she could make it through the first few letters of the alphabet, but her belches are usually small utterances in moments of silence or when we are near people whom we are trying to make a favorable impression upon.

When my sister was visiting last year, she noticed that Cora only does it around me. I don't understand. Am I not showering her with enough attention? Has she seen Shrek too many times? How do I fit in the equation?

Perhaps I am not making myself clear. To the general burping population, I say: have fun. Enjoy your gaseous venting. Do it with style. If it happens to be when I am near, I can respectfully assess your technique and will dole out praise if it is deserved. However, I don't think I am ready to give my daughter to your ranks yet.

classic brownies

I like a tall brownie. I found this recipe on my favorite cooking website, the smitten kitchen. It has been my brownie recipe of choice for at least two years and I have most of the kinks worked out. The recipe suggests cooking them in a 9 x 13 pan, but I use an 8 x 8 pan and cook them for over an hour with an aluminum foil hat about 30 minutes into the process to keep the top from burning.

You really need to cook it until the brownies leave the side of the pan, which results in dry edges. I just trim the outer 1/4 inch off the brownies which allows me to snack on the chewy caramelized remains which are delightful in their own way.

My four favorite things to cook with: butter, chocolate and the kids.

Pregnancy Diary: Entry 2

The White Stripes' "Elephant" album is surprisingly good background music for crib assembly.

Also, my favorite quote from Cora this week is: "Mom, there is a baby in your tummy and he is eating all of your food up."

Those who know us are aware that our baby name list is a closely guarded secret, so I will instead give you our rejected names to help you narrow it down:

Hugh Jass
Chai
Stag
Bea Elle 'the bub'
Okra Winfrey
Percy
Mace Windu
Maud (this one is a name I was actually hoping she would go for)

*Mary has just asked me to clarify that these are names that I have come up with and she has rejected.

It's raining purple

I don't see colors well, but I am pretty sure this is purple.

As spring approaches, I drive around Brisbane waiting for the jacarandas to bloom. It is my favorite part of this season.

I missed taking a photo of them in their prime this year because of rain and laziness, but I walked out of the house early in the morning last week to capture these shots.

spiders and tree frogs

I was sitting on the couch watching a movie with Cora and I hear Cole say in the other room: "Dad, there is a spider in here."

We usually drop what we are doing when the kids say stuff like that because they cannot tell the difference between the bad ones and the really bad ones (there are no good ones). Fortunately, this was a very small one that I was able to dispatch with a shoe. My first smack was more of a glancing blow and five or six little specks flew off the spider.

I felt sick when I realized the little specks had legs and were scurrying away from me. They were little spider babies that were clinging to the back of the original. Revolting.

We take the good with the bad though. A few nights ago, I was walking to our bedroom and saw this little guy hopping down the hallway.

that is not a whistle

Text from Mary: "Cora could teach pigs to squeal."

Our daughter has a talent for the agonizingly intolerable upper register of the human auditory experience. Aside from the tantrums, she also favors singing and squeaking in bird-like fashion.

What age do you teach kids to whistle?

I remember showing Cole the difference between whistling and singing right around the time our house was obsessed with Mary Poppins. I don't know if the same thing triggered it with Cora, or if she heard me whistling. Either way the following exchange happens a few times a week:

Cora: "Dad, this is a whistle. 0000000000000" (imagine wine glasses shattering)
joe: "no. that is not a whistle. this is a whistle. whooooooooooooo" (I wasted three minutes of my life trying to figure out how to put a whistle into text and that is the best I could come up with.)

That goes on for a little while until I try to show her the different placement of my tongue for singing a note versus whistling. I try to describe what areas in my mouth and throat the tone originates. I take one of her fingers and put it in front of my lips to show her that more air comes out when I whistle.

Despite my efforts, she will smile, nodding her head in agreement, and continue singing and insisting that she is indeed whistling.

My current diversion tactic to get off the subject is to start winking at her and she will then accurately imitate my winking which is both cute and quiet. I win.

Rainbow Beach

We went on a brief holiday to Rainbow Beach and this photo encapsulates the experience:
1. Mary and I forgot to pack the camera, so all the photos were taken with my phone.
2. It was windy and cold by Queensland standards (Cole's hair doesn't usually stand on end). Most days we walked along the beach instead of swimming in the ocean.
3. After I was finally able to relax and get used to the idea of being on vacation, we were all happy and enjoying ourselves.
4. I maintained a low personal grooming standard.

This is Inskip Point at low tide.
Above, is a rare side shot of the belly. Eight weeks to go. Mary is a champion. She is so diligent with the food she eats and all the other stuff that goes along with incubating a human. [entymological note: I will be using the less specific definition of incubate which refers to maintaining the environment of growth and development and not the direct Latin "to lie down on" root of the word.]

On Sunday we went to Underwater World to look at sharks and other aquatic life. In my view of the ocean, you are either a shark or food for sharks. Although, the kids and I were recently watching some sweet video of an orca taking down a great white; we just don't get enough orca action off the coast of Brisbane for me to include them in my philosophy.

The aquarium was good value and I could have spent hours hanging out in the tunnels watching fish swim over my head. Their extensive collection of tree frogs was a personal highlight. And thankfully, we have yet to see Cora develop any rare illnesses from the water she drank out of the the turtle exhibit.

one billion

We got back from vacation last night and I spent the morning at home to help ease the transition back to my desk. I will post a few photos soon.

So far this morning, I have explained how large one billion is to Cole, which I thought would give him something to contemplate, but he followed it up with asking for a concise summary of our monetary system. We discussed bills of exchange and how counterfeit notes affect inflation. The conversation then turned to the bartering system and opportunity cost for goods and services.

It was exhausting.

I am by no means proclaiming how grand my parenting skills are by relating this to you because this is an exception; conversations like this could have happened every moment of our vacation. I found my self fatigued and responded to Cole's inquiries with rude requests for him to keep quiet and enjoy the scenery.

I am proud that I have a curious son, but I am also very happy to be back at my desk where I can write e-mails and answer my clients' questions succinctly without cross examination. My wife, no doubt endures this daily and I have no idea how she copes. She tends to get the zingers like: "why did you make such a horrible dinner?" and "how is the baby going to get out?"

Glass House Mountains, Episode II

We have had a week of school holidays here in Brisbane. That means Mary had the kids all week and she was happy to let me take them all day today while she had some time alone.

Since I am a man of limited imagination and I was still feeling good about the hike I took with Cole, it seemed reasonable to kick it up a notch or two.

A woman I work with climbed Mt. Tibrogargan recently and said the route was suitable for the kids. At 364 metres, it is not much taller than the last one we did and it looks fun. I packed enough food and water for a four hour hike and we were on our way.

The route was very reasonable, until we reached the section in the photo above which is fairly steep and crosses the line between scrambling up rocks and actually climbing. It required me to leave one child unsupervised as I climbed behind the other one. I sent Cora up first; a decision I soon regretted as I heard her cute little voice going back and forth on the rocks above while Cole and I were ascending. The entire time I was shouting "Cora! Sit on your bottom." To which she was replying "Ok Dad!" while roaming around close to the edge.

When we made it up to a flat spot I was surveying the next stretch of rock (and wondering how my co-worker ever thought this was kid friendly):
and I looked down to see that my shoe decided to cash it in.
It was really weird because these shoes have faithfully served me for at least six years and when I put them on this morning there was no indication that they were going to self destruct. I am still a fan of Asolo boots and would like to extend a 'grazie' to any of their fine craftsmen reading this in Italy.

Moving on. I took out my knife, performed surgery on the sole, and spent the rest of the day hiking around in just the boot which is further testament to the solid construction of the shoe.
The kids ate an early lunch while I pondered our circumstances. I am sure we could get to the top with enough time, but it wasn't going to happen today.

We successfully got back down, with the aid of another hiker who was looking for an excuse to perform a good deed. Since we cut the climb short, I took the kids on a 3 km circuit around the hill and properly wore them out.

Here are a couple photos of my favorite tree of the day:

Pregnancy Diary: Entry 1

Mary: "I really want meatballs for dessert."

But Anyway

Cole: "Is that a flute dad?"
me: "No buddy, that is a harmonica."

I think John Popper just blew the minds of my children. They are running around the living room like their ears are on musical heroine.

I put on some Blues Traveler for cooking music and was suddenly transported back to Pat and Molly's wedding. After the reception, we went to an open-air concert at a park somewhere in Boise. I don't have a photo, but just imagine Pat and I in our rented tuxedos. Molly was in her wedding dress and we put her on our shoulders so she was floating above the crowd.

It was beautiful and spontaneous and a cherished memory. I was blessed to be part of the marriage ceremony for two of the coolest people I know. Blues Traveler always brings me back to that time.

Glass House Mountains

Cole and I used to do a lot of hiking with my friend Pat when we lived in Portland. Pat usually selected the destination and navigated - both things I am not good at. I would throw Cole in a backpack and we would see what the world looked like from a higher elevation. Our most memorable adventure was climbing the South Sister when Cole was two.
One of the benefits of Pat is that he was a safety valve and a get out of jail card in the decision making process. I could say something to Mary like: "I would like to take Cole up a mountain above the tree line." and Mary would look at me like I was crazy. Then I would say: "Pat is coming along" and suddenly it was acceptable.

The target for today's journey was Mount Beerwah. It is part of the Glass House Mountains, which are really a bunch of hills on a flat plain. They are volcanic plugs of mountains that formed 26 million years ago and have long since eroded away. Beerwah is the tallest of the group at 555 metres and it has 'beer' in its name--both very good reasons for the selection.

We learned at the visitor's centre that the hiking trail for Mount Beerwah is closed due to rock slides or something equally trivial. I was figuring out the risk of hopping the gate, wondering if I could find another trail and calculating the odds of snake/spider/ant encounters if Cole and I picked our way through unmarked bush when the spirit of reason descended upon me and I asked the question: "what else do you have available."

Plan B: Mount Ngungun
At 254 metres, it is half the climb I was hoping for, but portions of the trail involved scrambling up slopes and some sections offered few footholds on the way down. It was a good way for Cole to get experience and develop confidence. It is also the first hike we have done where he walked the entire way and I didn't have to carry him on my shoulders for part of the trip.
We ate a picnic lunch at the top and surveyed which hill we were going to climb next. He has his sights on Mount Tibrogargan.

After the hike, we hopped in the car and drove to our favorite beach at Mooloolaba.

Three Cakes and a Baby

I am going to get straight down to business because we have important stuff to get through.

First off: my birthday.
and my reward for 35 years is called the Heaven and Hell Cake
I spotted this recipe about nine months ago and Mary agreed to give it a try. This monster is constructed in the following manner (and I have described it top down so the text matches the photo)

Chocolate ganache
Angel food cake
Peanut butter mousse
Devils food cake
Peanut butter mousse
Angel food cake
Peanut butter mousse
Devils food cake

The recipe can be found on Saveur.com and if you attempt to make it, drop me an e-mail and we can discuss some tips. The peanut butter mousse is very rich and you only need to make half of what the recipe calls for. It was delicious.

And this is proof that we don't beat our children. Mary brought the kids to the cooking store and asked them to pick something out for me. They both know I love wooden spoons and went straight to the spoon section. I tell you that any child who has ever been paddled with a wooden spoon would not voluntarily give his or her parent further means of corporal punishment as a birthday gift.

Next up. Cora's Birthday.
She wanted a bird cake and I went with a toucan because it suited my decorating method of choice; m&m and chocolate frosting.
Cora loves being silly and she is very grateful for anything to do with chocolate or butter. 'Beauty and the Beast' is her absolute favorite movie. I actually think it is the best of the lot when it comes to horrible animated films which try to teach little girls to obey stereotypes. She loves wearing dresses, but is equally happy running around in her underwear in the mud.

We have a wonderful daughter with diverse interests; and judging from the amount of rocks we find in her pockets, she has a great future as a geologist.

And cake number 3:
This is my attempt at a Tyrannosaurus. The piping looks a little rough because I was finishing it as the guests were piling through the door. It looks more intimidating in person.

Cole requested a velociraptor cake and my sketches were all very long and thin which would have been difficult to sculpt and frost, so I suggested a stegosaurus with chocolate plates on the back.

joe: I am not happy with the velociraptor design. It is too long and thin. How about a stegosaurus.
Cole: I want a meat eating dinosaur.
joe: But this makes more sense, because a tyrannosaurus would actually eat a stegosaurus. It makes a better metaphor.
Cole: We are just negotiating at this point, show me a flying dinosaur or a Tyrannosaurus. You must be able to do that.

and thus begins my son's career as a corporate negotiator. I had no idea he had such skills.

back to the party.
It was a dinosaur theme and Mary went all out. She even made these very cool plaster of paris dinosaur eggs and filled them with candy and toys as a parting gift for the kids.


And finally, the baby:

Ultrasounds have never meant much to me because I can't tell if this is the skull of our child, or recycled video of sonar from a whaling ship. I will say that after three kids, I can finally follow along with the sonographer and make the appropriate 'ooooh' and 'aaaah' sounds when they tell me I am looking at an arm or spine.

For my money, the most primal and adrenaline inducing moment which makes it sink in that we are going to have another child is hearing the heart beat. The simple 'whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh' of a baby's heart is unmistakable and creates an instant emotional connection. For validation, you need to look no further than Patrick Swayze trying to explain rhythm and connection to Ferris Beuller's sister in 'Dirty Dancing'.

The ultrasound place we went to also had 3-D ultrasound and the photos from that are an odd combination of cute and creepy.

This is a great shot of the left arm but the little face is a bit distorted and seems to be frowning.

This is my favorite shot because I can see the shape of the head and the ear. The lumpy thing in front of the face is supposed to be the fist.

These were taken almost a month ago so the baby is much further along and the cuteness of the ears has no doubt increased. If you have any further technical questions, you will need to direct them to Mary. She keeps track of how many weeks along the fetus is and how big the baby is at this moment. I think she told me last night the baby is now 22 centimetres long (nine inches for the god-fearing among you). All you need to know is that December 21 is go time. We plan on getting this puppy out before Christmas and before the glorious heat and humidity of a Queensland summer is at its peak.

Boy or Girl? We have no idea. I like to be surprised but Mary wanted to find out. The sonographer spent 45 minutes with us concluded it was going to be a girl. I then bid my wife goodbye and headed back to work. A short while later a doctor came into the room to confirm a few things and told my wife that he thinks it is going to be a boy. Mary swears she saw boy bits on the computer screen but she has spent a grand total of 3 hours in front of an ultrasound screen and I am not confident in her ability to make that call. We still have no idea. I tend to believe a trained technician and my wife believes the doctor.

Cole is excited to have a little Brother and Cora can't wait for her little sister to arrive. We are not having twins, so one of them is not going to get his/her wish.

I have babbled on long enough. I will save the name debate for another blog post.