Wednesday, April 30, 2008'♥
last day of april.
i just noticed a lot people mistook that the last picture 'post on 29 April 2008' was a sunset. in the actual fact is a sun RISE. is a phenomenon.
i guess i am too stress lately. is like the exams are about to commence in 2 days time, yet i don't have the feeling of urgency. ARGH! what's wrong with me!
mainly a lot people is feeling stress too. i just got so pissed during the chemistry today, until i uttered something that i had never said before. officially, i hate the mole equation calculation.
today had a pre-test of the music paper. and wonderfully i got 35/60! i failed the first 2 sections. thats why. and i don't really bother. today music performance was pretty well done. i still played from memory. i deserved a pat on my shoulder.
good news, tomorrow is labor day. no school. and pearl's birthday(:
bad news, next day, english and music test. and also my knee is hurting badly for no reasons.
lastly, thanks for all the concern.
i am just being so moody,
cooling down at the corner,
it might take longer to recover,
but i will be back to myself.
i promised.
if i really need it,
i will say it.
Labels: random, rants
Tuesday, April 29, 2008'♥
a wonderful sun rise that i caught on my phone. for the first time it is red in colour. it doesn't seem to be lucky for me, although that red is a auspicious colour.
i seriously require a break. and sorry for not blogging
a huge big break.
but for a second thought, i slacked quite a lot.
everything didn't go well, even for my aesthetics section. everyone is like started mugging. well, i don't excatly mug yet. but doing those mid year2007 papers, trying to finish homework mood. simply, looking forward more of the holidays rather than examination [duh, everyone thinks that too] .
bad news, broke my electronic dictionary. screwed my a maths polynomial test. humiliated in physic class. it is just that everything seems to be opposing me. LACK OF MOTIVATION. utterly pissed. just don't care about me for a moment. [having mood swings]
feel like enclosed myself in the room, resting away, throw every single book away, try jumping down from my house window, get out of my stupid life, ranting about random stuffs. even quit school. deep inside, i screamed until simply no words to even speak. is like this is not the usual me, of course i know. somehow, i need some cooling off period or even need someone to hear my rants. sometimes i just wished that someone lend me a helping hand, or even shoulder to let me have a big cry out.
i am just trying to frustrate out.. don't worry about me, i will soon recover. someday. i just have to find my usual self back.
i want a shoulder for me to lean on,
a pat to encourage me,
a listening ear to hear out,
a person who understands without saying much,
a helping hand to pull me up.
i just need the person.
i am tired, exhausted, going into depression. i won't be able to stand any longer. let me collapse.Labels: losing myself, random
Thursday, April 17, 2008'♥
oh boy, i screwed 2 tests.
totally major 2 big tests. one is physic another one is geography.
i blame myself real bad. yesterday, i caught a flu which i had to rest early and set the alarm at 10pm to wake up. but it ended up that i didn't and slept throughout the night while others were studying and mugging. today morning, i tried to study during the assembly but it seems that nothing had gone into my brain.
so no matter what, i screwed big time. real serious.
today i took bus 11 back again. and i really started from the side gate to my house front door, and it took like 25mintues.
today i went for ballet, and totally like really half dead. but somehow, when i am so relax, i could do double turns. but without landing properly and without head. maybe just like what my teacher said, just have to relax and somehow i will get it. i just hope that sept it comes where they exams, hopefully i could get everything correctly.
currently still having a slight fever but at least it is an relief that tests are over for this week as tomorrow we are having our sports meet at the sports stadium.
i really don't think i will enjoy the day there. moreover, is none of my business. just had to do the stupid cheering stuff.
Labels: random, screwed
Wednesday, April 16, 2008'♥
such a rotten day.
i was practically falling asleep in chemistry classes and history. somehow, i shall start my revision as tomorrow there is 2 major stupid test, physic and pure geography.
and i think i screwed the chinese oral test. shucks i am so dead.
after music, i borrowed umbrella from choonling. thanks girl! as the clouds cluttered together and STARTED RAINING and STRONG WINDS blew past me. the umbrella almost flew away =.= i had to walk back home. ps: i didn't bring wallet to school. when upon reaching home, i was drenched. totally drenched. and i think i caught a flu.
and i was happily indulging in my dove and kinder bueno chocolate just now. and i totally got banned from my mum because of my coughing.
backtracking time!
yesterday went to mediacorp. on the way, i noticed actually my class the guys were really hilarious, just that i don't sit beside them in class.
our school went PK with jurong secondary. but we were unable to beat the other school. and seriously, i find that the competition is unfair. is like, when coming to the chinese 成语 where schools have to continue with the last word. then when schools said a weird chinese 成语 that the producer themselves not, they will flip and pause the whole recording. if the idiom is approved, the next school have to answer had already enough time to think of another idiom to continue. and the judge is a hypocrite. is like, in front of the camera, 我可以接受 but instead, is like those people check the dictionary and tell the producer. now then i know is like so FAKE.
hmm nothing much, just that i screwed quite a lot stuffs lately, especially all my tests. and lots of homework not handing in time =.= i shall get back on the track as soon as possible.
Labels: random, screwed
Monday, April 14, 2008'♥
finally having my internet back.
at least i am not having monday blues today. everything was smoothly done. had a great laugh when junhao came to sit near us during geography whereby everyone is slacking, and started crapping with jianyi, ended up, the surrounding area(wenzi, rujun, daphne, bernita, me, jianyi, mun hong) all started laughing. *the content is enclosed* finally a maths question solved, and ah lee aimed at me and told me, your last alpha beta test had A LOT of careless mistakes. and if i am not wrong 9marks are gone T.T. went compass with geraldine after finishing private tutoring from ah lee. had bubble tea, saw samuel and johnny. both of them are actually really nice. and took bus with geraldine.
lets backtracked yesterday happening
as usual i won't be at home early in the morning until 5pm. when i reached home, the first i will do is to on the computer and start on my geography project. guess what? it was showing that, there was connection to internet but simply, msn and firefox, internet explorer was unable to log in. at first, i thought that it was a trick that my older brother playing. and finally, the whole day i didn't get to use internet. simply it was a damn terrible day. now i understand why internet is SO IMPORTANT as you need to RUSH GEOGRAPHY project. ended up, i got plain slides with words, no pictures, really plain with 28 slides.
lets backtracked for 2 days ago
it is still quite vivid of the happenings of the backstage before performing. early in the morning we reached school, packed make up, costumes and boarded the bus at 12.20pm. tried to sleep on the bus, however it failed, because it was such a bumpy ride. as we reached SCH, we didn't have our lunch first, and everyone is starving, ended up, waited for the technical rehearsal, screaming from the instructor was unavoidable. neither was i focusing, just simply frustrated about the stage. then we had to rush to eat and then change into our costume and prepare for the full dress run through with music. had something wrong with the props (shall not elaborate much.) went through until the finale it was like 5pm. seriously, it isn't very good to dance with a full stomach. so ended up, many skipped tea break and dinner.
before the actual performance, our seniors gathered us, everyone knew what they are up too, a farewell by the seniors. after their touching speech, everyone broke into tears, including me. it was simply too touching until seniors themselves also broke into tears. everyone filled with red eyes, even before going onto the stage, i still experiencing headache at that point of time and had swollen eyes. of course, we shone proudly on the stage despite that we still will make mistakes. it was the last dance with our seniors. the last dance. everyone had a hug from every single senior, we just loved them too much.
there is always parting but we will also be meeting together as a team once again. it is unavoidable that sec 4s that are graduating, the next year, it will be us. although i am afraid, i feared, but because of the sec 4s encouragement, their hearts are still living within us, i strongly believe that, we will uphold the dance team reputation and forever, our doors will always be opened for the seniors to return. we had no regrets after the performance.
seniors, be sure to hold a box of tissue on the stepping down ceremony, we will make you cry.
stepping down ceremony is being postpone until mid-year exam last day. 13 may 2008 a tuesday. is another big day.
Labels: school, thanks seniors. life
Saturday, April 12, 2008'♥
FINISHED!! finally.
it was a great performance after all. our seniors, they spoke a speech (posted at dance blog), gave us small slip of heart with their encouragement. being sentimental, everyone broke down into tears before the performance. of course we will miss our seniors and do them proud by wining a gold for next year syf. there will be stepping down cermony on monday. aww, i really really just wish that time just stops.
seniors, we all love you forever(:
thank you for your encouragement, your guidance, and most importantly, the care and concern that you had showered us.
thank you xuefang for the flower(rose). i shall post a picture of it. hahas
i am glad that i didn't make any mistakes. it was a success after all. and i am sastified.
Labels: is a success
Friday, April 11, 2008'♥
oh no, tomorrow is the big day.
well, kind of having mixed emotions. happy that the big day is finally arriving. yet i hate it when it arrived.
arrivedit is a day whereby our efforts will be recognize by the public, families and friends. it is a joyous occasion of course. and it will be the day to end our suffering of hectic schedule of rehearsals. i guess after this performance will be great achievement to us.
don't arrivefirstly, it is a hint that, after this is over, incoming the SA examination.
second, seniors are stepping down. they are considered the first batch of course. and they are sort of the strongest. most enthusiastic bunch seniors. of course, had a great time with them. i will miss them so much. feel like crying. each seniors has their own strengths, and under their guidance, it made us even stronger and better. and there is no one to depend on now. this will be the final and last performance together with the seniors. i hoped that it would be the best and the most memorable to them and to us too. seniors, we wished you best in your upcoming Os and have another last dance. lastly, we are grateful of your guidance and skills imparted to us, hopefully do our best in the next SYF to make you all proud.
ahhh got to go and sleep!! break a leg!
Labels: big day coming
Wednesday, April 09, 2008'♥
i think i screwed up quite a lot of stuffs. i really meant it, a lot.
1. in today's rehearsal.
2. my homework
3. my life.
4. time to sleep.
today's rehearsali kind of lost touch in dance as didn't dance for the two practices before the rehearsal. and didn't have time to run through the pieces before the full dress rehearsal run through downstairs. which lead me to having some hesitation. partly due to my back sprain, i did the movements seemed to slow by half a count. and the last piece, i tried to do an additional spilt which was added by teacher yesterday. and i couldn't balance myself =.= totally is my fault.
my homeworki am handing homework quite late rather than being punctual or overdue for like 1 day. if this continue on, i might just fail my mid years as well. something must be done.
my lifei am turning myself upside down.. been thinking of some stuffs lately. i think it really affected me. if i tried to voice, mainly people will just.. perhaps think XXXXXXX. is just random Xs.
kind of losing myself to this whole world. i shall try to get a grip of my life before it gone to the worst.
time to sleepi been sleeping late as i need to rush up all the bloody homework. and doing revision and stuffs. most importantly, practicing the piano. for once i am so enthusiastic to practice it. perhaps is because of the upcoming music performance critique on friday.
(Back-track a little.
Physics on monday was fun. Mr Goh taught pressure. Then he was trying to tell us about air pressure and the funny conversation went -
Mr Goh: So class, what is above us? Don't say is the ceiling okay.
Me: Sky
Mr Goh: Okay, sky. What is in the sky?
Some people: CLOUDS!
Mr Goh (kinda laughing and giving that kind of -.- face): Okay, what else?
Some people: Erm, birds! Aeroplanes! Helicopter... etc
(they start listing all the flying objects)
Mr Goh: Haiyo, what is in the sky which you cannot see? [apparantly he was looking for the answer air]
Some people: Atmosphere!
Finally of course we answered him air as we simply had no other answers to avoid it.)
credit to geraldine.
add on what the conversation, mr goh also described himself as macho with V - shaped like body but 2 bulging fats at the sides( waist). and he took airplane more than 10 times. and said that he used to be a swimmer. and of course, mr goh laughters are very funny. he started like:
ha ha, ha ha ha, *his face turning red* ha ha ha ha, *eventually, exaggerating laughs from him*
well, looking forward to his lessons.
schedule:
thursday:
Chemistry pop quiz is being cancelled.
Elective History test. double essays =.= hopefully get my facts right.
friday: a maths test.
english speech class test?
saturday: report school at 11am until 10pm due to the concert
sunday: the usual stuff
monday: most likely having physic test
tuesday: chemistry test
so far i could only recall till here.
Labels: random, rants, school
Saturday, April 05, 2008'♥
oh no, next week is the concert.
today it seemed quite a bad day, but somehow, it did turn out well.
early in the morning, i had to go to school for additional a-maths lessons. then came back to sleep for a moment before ballet. next thing i woke up. i got
LEGS CRAMPS. and is not that normal kind of cramps that will go away. it totally stayed there until now it isn't gone yet. shucks. had a hard time trying to jump those allegros and piles.
i have conclude that, my younger brother is seriously violent enough. today he had his taekwondo test. and from my mum witness account of saying and my younger brother was like using singlish trying to tell me that, he made 2 people cried. in his examination, 3 pairs are being rotated where they will be fighting, so he kicked one person stomach and that poor fellow cried. another one he kicked B's person head. ouch. and cried. and he still happily told me that, he made the both of them their 100bucks(examination fee) flew away. =.= i feel the pain for the 2 poor fellows.
from now on, i shall try to distance away. is scary.
Labels: random
Thursday, April 03, 2008'♥
despite that there isn't any dance. i am still exhausted. i came home about 9pm++. went ballet, sweat like a pig and of course a treat from my teacher of a bubble tea(: yum yum. nice and cooling.
everything just became so murky. lost, no sense of direction all of sudden.
my mum is the wisest person in the world. i am glad that my mum led me out from the murky atmosphere. she taught me some stuffs which i never understand came to think of it, it is the actual fact of how humans are the way suppose to be. she said that, "you can't change anyone mindset on you, although being an out casted person or lack of attention, never lose yourself. you are who you are."
in our school, i met different kinds of people, talented ones, intelligent ones, popularity type ones and etc. there is one kind that i admired. "happy go lucky ones". they are those kind who are like no worries, never get frustrated that easily. and i had found one in my school.
wondering whether people can even notice (i bet not, everyone is filled with misery, jealously, competing)from the lessons, the experiences, i realized that, never takes things too seriously, sometimes just don't care whatever people do, just be myself. never be a puppet of someone. as long as there is people who is supporting, giving me the acknowledgment of my hard work, is enough. we are humans, humans are never meant to be perfect at all.
humans are not born-ed to suit every single one out there likings.
i feel that i should do some justice. seriously, the
school teacher is being biased. the teacher should be fair, by giving A and B a re test to prove their strengths. it was like in the environment whereby the A didn't knew that B(came in to hear the conversation) haven't taken the test and discussed with C(who had taken the test) the answer. it shouldn't be A's fault. the teacher OUGHT to get the FACTS right before giving the verdict. is unfair. i hope that A's parents should appeal. rather getting a zero and got all the blames. [ i didn't really get clear of the actual story but it is told by someone. which is one of the witness.]
*note, it is
my point of view, i
don't mean to
discriminate or offend anyone. lastly, don't ask me who is A, B, C. thanks.
Labels: humans, justic should be made
Wednesday, April 02, 2008'♥
everyone is exhausted. while in the midst of preparing the concert, tests are pouring into our lives.
come on, the concert is next week, yet we have those tests, additional mathematics, chemistry etc. argh, stupid school. isn't it irony? they are bound to tire us up. let us fall sick, and yay, no more concert.
thanks bernita and daphne for their support(: is a blessing to know them.
i will be glad that if i can fall sick now. at least, stress free.
10 more days to the performance.
Labels: school
Tuesday, April 01, 2008'♥
ohs today is april fool's day. sadly is that, we didn't prank anyone. no one really has the mood of this festive.
nevertheless, school is definitely boring. and seriously, i think even e maths i don't have the confidence. finally english oral is over. cheers. but upcoming is the chinese O level oral school. then june will be the actual one. =.= which is nearing.
dance was super hectic. instructor was somehow frustrated and blew to her top. and everyone suffered. and simply. i am developing of the interest of hating dance. resenting about school dance. i just prayed i want to get out of here. really i do. i ought to choose some other stuffs rather than dance. tmr there is the full dress rehearsal. argh!! i don't want to wear the idiotic costume. it makes me look like a ... i shall not mention it.
today i am in a foul mood. and simply i think i had really throw my temper on jy... so sorry.
i hope that tomorrow everything will be smooth sailing.
Labels: dance, school
