end of this road

go here.
And all will be explained.

How la?

How not to fall in love?



it's friday night and i'm at home. what other thing is there to do but swoon over someone as cool as that?

Fantasy, mystery, imagination

That's the colour purple.
No wonder it was used as the primary colour for Leung Juk The Musical.

And isn't this just such a cool picture?

source: francine, hocc.cc

Lack of sleep

I wonder if it could be because I've been sleeping later than 3am each day for the last 4 days? Right.

But I can't help it.

I've got this new girlfriend (or boyfriend, depending on my mood) to take care of. I spend all day and night with her. Was even with her on Valentine's Day. You mean I haven't introduced her?

Her name's Work.

So. By the time I'm done with Work each day, it's about 12 midnight and I've missed this HK Chinese serial I'm trying to follow on Wah Lai Toi. Actually, I'm only watching it because one of the female leads is gay. Thus the only logical solution is to wait til 2am to catch the repeat. And, thus the reason for me sleeping at about 3am every day.

So you see. It's all Work's fault. She's just too demanding and insists on taking up all my time. The only reason I'm still persisting with this relationship is because she pays me to be with her. And well, she pays well. Very well.

But we won't last for long. We've talked about it and we'll be breaking up in a month's time.

And then I'll have more time for myself. And maybe I won't be having all these weird dreams like the one I had last night.

Lets just say it featured ah C, a gay pub and a haunted spa. I don't remember much of the details except that ah C and I were...well, we knew each other. There were a whole bunch of other people too. And some sort of press conference, only it wasn't a press conference.

I think I need more sleep.

Valentine's Day is over

and i'm still working.

Valentine's Day 8.30pm

Still working.

Valentine's Day 6.25pm

Working.

Happy Valentine's Day

I asked my partner last night which she thought was worst.

To have someone to celebrate Valentine's Day with but you have to work that night.
or
To not have someone to celebrate Valentine's Day with and still have to work that night.

She very quickly answered, of course to have someone to celebrate with but you had to work. She said if you didn't have anyone to celebrate with in the first place it didn't really matter if you had to work or not.

Actually, I beg to differ.

I think to not have someone to celebrate with and still have to work is pretty much a killer.

I mean, you already don't have someone to celebrate with. And you have to sit in the office working, very likely on your own, 'cos everyone else would be out celebrating. 'Drowning' one's self in work is a rather sad thing to be doing on a day where, even if you do not have another half, you could be out looking for your other half.

Did that make sense? Oh well.

Anyway.

Back to drowning myself in work. (Yes, yes, I do not have a date. And I have to work tonight.) Unless, some kind soul decides to call between now and before the day is over to save me from this pathetic ending.

Who will be my Valentine today?

Pandora's Box

Who introduced me to this...this...this...temptation too great to resist? Ya. You know who you are, you, you, you, wonderful person, you. Thank you!

Typed in Imogen Heap and Sarah McLachlan and out popped Cranberries 'Ode To My Family'. I haven't heard that song for the longest time! All of a sudden I have this urge to dig up every single Cranberries song. Heard some songs I've never heard of before too. Actually I haven't heard of a lot of those songs Pandora's playing (Ok, so I'm a western music idiot).

Anyway. This is what Pandora says of one of the songs it played based on my musical preferences.

Based on what you've told us, we're playing the track because it features mellow rock instrumentation, folk influences, a subtle use of vocal harmony, mild rhythmic syncopation and mixed acoustic and electric instrumentation.

And here's my current random but entirely logical song playlist as selected by the brains that is Pandora and the Music Genome Project:

Kamera by Wilco
Riverwide by The Rockfords
Crystal House by Susan Aglukark
Distant Sun by Brooke Fraser
Ode To My Family by The Cranberries
Just For Now by Imogen Heap
Let Go by Frou Frou
Make It Easy by Polara
Life On The Moon by Erin McKeown
I Am The Walrus by Styx
21 Things I Want In A Lover by Alanis Morissette
Throw It All Away by Brandi Carlile
Strong by Robbie Williams
All Day by Lisa Loeb
Getting Scared by Imogen Heap

Except for Imogen, The Cranberries, Robbie, Lisa and Alanis (which now makes me want to go digging for Alanis albums too), I have not heard of any of them before. But I love them all. They're all so refreshing to listen to! Well. Refreshing cos I've never heard them before.

This is a bloody superfantastical way to discover songs and artists.

Cheers to the genius who resides behind Pandora and the Music Genome Project.

Coffee in a Soda Bottle / Listen to Me

A great song by Ah C, Wyman, 阿卓 and Green Mountain Orchestra.

汽水樽裡的咖啡
Coffee in a Soda Bottle

誰出錯將咖啡都裝進汽水樽
Who made the mistake of filling the soda bottle with coffee?
我覺得很有問題
I think there's a problem
如果我突然想溝鮮奶我應怎麼控制
What if I suddenly wish to add fresh milk, how do I control
這是條懷疑上帝的問題
myself from questioning God's intentions?

男人的粗獷身體裝了女人心
In a man's rough body lives a woman's heart
我有否心理問題
Does this mean I have a psychological problem?
如果我是誰必須根據染色體的設計
If I find the need to hide my inner design
埋藏內心的幼細
Burying it deep in the recesses of my heart
大概就要荒廢
Perhaps then these feelings will be left uncultivated

我身體裝著誰人
What person resides in this body of mine?
兩歲半已定型了
When I was 2 and a half years old
早知包裝不太搭調
I already knew that the outer packaging was a mismatch

但我忍到那日跟你初見面
But I controlled it until the day I met you
才忍不了
Then I could control it no more
拼拼碰尤如暴漲浪潮
Ping ping pung, it's like the sound of the rising tide

我的身該屬誰人
Who does this body belong to?
壓制到接近忘了
I've been surpressing these feelings till I've forgotten
差一點將本我殺掉
That it almost killed the real me
但咖啡可鑽入這汽水樽
Though coffee still stays in the soda bottle
情感藏不了
These feelings cannot stay buried

如果你是蘋果汁裝進咖啡杯
If you're apple juice in a coffee cup
似我這一個類型
Then you're just like me
何不也盡情湧出本性別理裝的器皿
Why not show off your true nature regardless of your outer form?
咸甜或酸苦半世亦照著你高興
Salty or sweet or sour or bitter, the next half your life can be as you please

我身體裝著誰人
Who resides in this body of mine?
我會說那是前世
I would say it was me from a previous life
跟分身的主角對調
Exchanging bodies with the original host
但咖啡幽禁在這咖啡杯
Though coffee trapped in a coffee cup
同樣可使別人營造心跳
Can also cause one's heart to beat rapidly
別怕軀殼外型全部錯了
You don't have to be afraid if your outer shell looks wrong
潛質先緊要
It is what's inside that counts

There's also this particularly sexy song (honestly, it's music to make love to) from the same sexy Ah C. Dunno if i translated this right or wrong, but this is how the gay me interprets this song.

Ecoutez-moi
Listen to me

聽說個個 今年春天 特別努力
I heard that this spring, everyone was especially diligent
米雪愛謝利 已講出口
Michelle finally told Shirley she loved her
那次派對 羅娜雲妮 換電話後
Laura and Winnie exchanged phone numbers at a party
兩個禮拜 就被看到 拖手
Two weeks later, they were seen holding hands
ecoutez-moi mmm... ecoutez-moi
Listen to me mmm...listen to me

聽說貝蒂 偷戀波比 十萬秒後
I heard Betty had a crush on Bobby for the longest time
錯過了蜜運 變了知己
Missed the moment and ended up being friends instead
聽說李察 終於都給 路易感動
I heard that Richard was eventually moved by Louis’ actions
這對老友 現在正式 一起
These two good friends are now officially together
ecoutez-moi mmm... ecoutez-moi
Listen to me mmm…listen to me

感受到嗎 mmm... 聽明白嗎
Can you feel it?
Mmm…do you understand it?

知己不該說 敏感的話
Friends should not talk about sensitive things
不該這?晚 還談電話
Should not hold long conversations over the phone every night
ecoutez-moi mmm... ecoutez-moi
Listen to me mmm…listen to me

想像到嗎 mmm... 聽明白嗎
Can you imagine it?
Mmm…do you understand it?
難道這刻 是訊號問題 收不到嗎
Do you still not understand the signals?
還是到底 是物件問題 想收線嗎
Or is it because the subject in question wants to hang up the line?

Do Ah C's fans still not understand the signals? Listen to her. Listen to her.

Damn. This song has made me all horny now.

Love.

Joe: We know love hurts. That's why we try to protect ourselves by not allowing ourselves to love too deeply. But this 'smart' love, this protecting of ourselves, is that really love?

Today you say you love someone. But when you break up, how long does it take you to forget that person? In three months you might even forget what that person looked like.

If you love somebody, do appearences really matter? Would you, because the outer packaging looks different, not love that person anymore?

Yin: When I look at you, I don't know how to love you.
Joe: Then don't look. Feel. Just feel.

So.
What is love?
Love that transcends time and space?
Love that disregards gender?
Love that involves sacrifice?
Love means letting go?
Love means acceptance?

After 5 months of watching the musical live on stage, I think I have only begun to understand what the story is all about. Ok, so I didn't have the luck or pleasure of being able to catch more than one performance, so you can't really blame me. Hey, it's a 'heavy' story, alright?

I think I might have been too busy looking at the production as a whole than really paying attention to the story. Too busy trying to notice every single detail on stage and off. Too busy trying to catch a glimpse of Green Mountain Orchestra and Goobing. Being there in the same theatre as Ah C has a certain effect. Basically, all you want to do is bask in that feeling of being in the same room as her. So you tend to forget that you're actually there to watch a musical and listen to the story being told.

Anyway.

This time round, watching the DVD of the musical, is akin to being in the front row of the theatre watching the play unfold again before my eyes. This time, I am able to take it all in. Watch real close-up. Repeat certain scenes which I didn't quite understand in the beginning. Repeat scenes which I love and want to watch again. Hear the lines and listen each word clearly as it is spoken. Cry when Ah C cries. (She really does have an uncontrollable effect on one's tear ducts). Yet I still don't know what 萊M means.

As for the ending? I choose to interpret it as a happy one even though it was tragic. Why? 'cos Yin finally accepted Joe for Joe. And even though Yin died, it meant that he and Ah C could finally be 'butterflies' together. That is, after all, the ending of the story of Leung Juk. So, in a sense, it was a happy ending for all. The two original lovers are finally together and Joe was loved.

*Sighs a bittersweet sigh*.

My only regret was not being able to catch the last performance live.