me.

Monday, July 31, 2006

blogging at this wee hours is really insane! my body is so desperately wanting for rest but my mind is so wanting to type my happenings!

yesterday sermon was awesome. i knew during altar call, my heart was crying. the forgiveness and repentance, i cried it all out when 'You chose me' was sang. i like it when i heard 'know that God is on your side'. the assurance and confidence is built in me. (">)

coz You chose me
You called me by name
from the moment
that You touch my life
i have been changed .

amen.

so today, we had CG at marina square foodcourt. HAHAHAHA! most came late including me. must repent man. the funniest thing, i was late so usually i will run to the place coz i know that i'm late. BUT today my thighs were SCREAMING FOR HELP(having terrible aches) because of the dance yesterday. so no choice, i only could walk slowly to cg. -.-" we ate then we had teaching. YESH we had teaching in a noisy foodcourt. but well, the teaching was good. though the teaching is something that i was taught b4 but today everything just make sense and God spoke to me thru the midst of the teaching. i am so glad. ^^ but i had to tolerate the garlic smell. usually i ok with it but today the garlic smell makes me nausea. so weird. hmm. anyway, after cg i had lots of fun with everyone! some went to play pool & i went to play arcade! i love arcade man. so fun but gotta spend money lor . . . sob* but well, i got joel to dance para para for me! man, he's good le. don't play play ar~ also we played house of the dead 4 and time crisis 3. i think is these games. haha!! joel and wanqi are my partners if i wana go arcade! HEHE. but well in the end everyone played bowling! cool man. nv touch bowling for quite a long time. . . . can see all of us kinda rusty. who cares coz WE HAD SO MUCH FUN! :D

ok la this is all! =) gonna read more abt paul's life liao! oh ya, God may u bless my dear veron with wisdom and strength as she goes for her piano examination tml. yeah! o i mean AMEN!

at 12:40 AM

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Paint the beautiful picture.

today went down to church office with wanqi to actually to learn some teachings however in the end we did some . . . . . stock check? HAHAHA. but i did learn a teaching, a powerful teaching from bill hybels, the pastor from willow creek. now i knw why willow creek is SO powerful in their arts. because they believe in ENGAGEMENT with the members. and a vision that will bring this person's passion keep on going and not burnt out in the long run. my heart was moved and so burden. a good burden of coz.

anyway having body aches now! becoz we are dancing for the youth ess later! =) my body ain't functioning well but my heart is excited now. (though i have been listening to the song for months? gonna soooooo ban the song after this dance.)

did i mention that i like Paul? yeah man, as i do my QT reading and following around with Paul's life, i feel like all along i did nothing for the kingdom! alamak, he is like a virus that keeps on going around spreading and multiplying(in this case is the word) and so refuse to die off. like a normal virus can also mutate? yeah Paul is like this la. thrown in jail b4, got beaten up b4 but the more he got stronger! sori man other than virus i duno what word i can use on Paul. hahaha! reading his life just motivate me to understand how God is really using me. i believe that though we follow the same main vision which is the great commission, but He put us in different ministry to grow the church in different areas.

as for me, is my singing ministry. i love this ministry so much however the ministry won't grow under me if i just continue to love and love. you see, it's a different thing when you love and make sure that you want to grow personally to bring this love you have in the ministry to a higher level. get it? love without a vision is shallow. soon this love will fade off. tat is why now my main objective is to grow myself 1st.

"paint a clear and convicted picture of the vision and tell your people about it. create the ownership in the team coz great leader understand the power of ownership." - Bill Hybels.

at 12:29 AM

Thursday, July 27, 2006

another day where i learnt to slow things down to plan and enjoy my time with God and wanqi. =) such an enjoyable conversation i had. i was reading on David Eckman's book, 'Becoming who God intended.' a good book to teach you about handling and dealing our emotions.

was setting visions and goals in my life and ministry. set with so much excitement! as i set and flip to the bible for verses to make it as an anchor verse for the vision, the excited i got! could imagine how the group will grow with the anchoring verse! ^_______________________^ *smiling with great satisfaction*

singers, we will not only grow our vocals but spiritually we will grow too! lets grow the inner child in us. maturity, impartation, visionary, good vocals, stylish. Hallelujah!!!!
choir, be a group that gives energy and joy! impact hearts that will dance and sing like yours! also, grow spiritually!!!!!!!!!! love God, love people --------> a beautiful choir.

Psalm 95:1
"Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation."

=) i love him lots.

at 2:35 PM

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The sword of my life.

woke up at 2pm today. -.-" yes i slept at 3am and woke up in the mid-afternoon. i wasted so much time man!!!!!!! as usually my stupid jeff came scratching at my door from 10am-1pm. such perseverance! man if jeff is a human being, i think he will be a great evangelist.

anyway as i was bathing i got sudden urge to read the bible. i admit only recently i did my QT again. the bible is my sword and for quite some time i've been keeping the sword and only took out whenever i needed it and when i feel like it. typing this now really make me feel so bad and scare to wonder will i stumble others especially that i am a ministry head. . .

but after all i am still a human being who have learn her lessons and wanting to know her saviour more. =)

as i was saying i got the sudden urge to read the bible though last night i had a wonderful time with the Lord. i took out the bible and flip to proverbs and there in chapter 1 He spoke,

"for attaining wisdom and disipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young - let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance - for understanding proverbs and paprable, the sayings and riddles of the wise. THE FEAR OF THE LORD IS THE BEGINNING OF KNOWLEDGE, BUT fools DESPISE WISDOM AND DISCIPLINE."

here i felt that God wanted me to know more of why i should go in depth with Him and grow in my knowledge.

another verse in chapter 1 also spoke to me. [verse 22]

"how long will you simple ones love your simple ways? how long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? if you had responded to my rebuke, i would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you."

in verse 33,
"but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease without fear harm."

i duno how u guys feel after reading all these verses that i highlighted but to me i felt that i am so assured of my salvation. everything just falls in place now. from the meeting i have with nel to understand how shallow my knowledge is to how much that now no matter how tired i am i still want to read the word. in my previous post, i mention that i wana slow down with God rite? well i am seeing the progress now but at a slow pace la. haha! now whenever i wana read the bible, my heart will be racing so fast like as though i am gonna do some song presentation. SO NERVOUS! it's a good feeling. =)

my sword of my life is my bible in case you were wondering.

at 3:11 PM

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

David and Paul.

in the bible, these two are the guys that i respect ALOT. their lifestyle, thumbs up! i love everything about their life.

David from a shepherd's boy to a king, who loves God so much. evidently could be seen in the book of psalms. his desires, his disappointments, his love for God, his yearning, his repentance, is all written down. a very good example of a pnw leader lifestyle. also a very good buddy. his spiritual buddy, jonathan. the love they have for each other is not something gayish but genuine love. the trust they have in each other is amazing. 1 sam 20:42. Hannah? ^^

Saul to Paul. frm a super anti-christian to powerful evangelist for Jesus. Just one incident that God make him blind and his life totally change. though bible mention 'because you have seen me, you have believed, blessed are those who have not seen yet have believed.' - John 20:29, this area mayb Paul lose out but his 180 degree change had earned him so much of treasures in heaven!!!

their character, all of us should learn to want to have it. God's character, all of us must want to work towards it.

recently learnt about going in depth with God. grow in knowledge and in attitude. my sheeps are my singers and choir. alot hor! HAHAHAHAHAHA. but i knw God place me in this ministry is to lead so i must grow. guard my life closely and grow stronger. soon i will have shepherds like Darlene Zschech, Paul Baloche, etc. hehehe!

yeah, this time i am slowing down to know God better. =)

at 10:15 AM

Friday, July 21, 2006

TWAM.
i can't stand this team. i really can't.

everyone in TWAM is just so. . . . .Beautiful.

now will just use one word to describe my cg members.

Joycehumble [CL]
Veronnaughty
Wanqicheerful
David Chancrap [my UL!]
Roystonfatherly [CL]
Eugenecaring
Davinlame
Joequiet
David Chuahandsome boy
Joelsweet&desirable - but reserve for God only.
Justinsimple
Geraldtough
JonLeebig
Esmondtall

my cg. that's all for you.

a mighty team for Jesus.

at 1:00 PM

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Puppies! my little-sunshines.

3 sleeping beauties.

a cute little rugged looking pup!

i think it's Dawn's drizzle? hehe!

manz, pups that wana be guard dogs?

watcha looking at!

the little rascal. MY FAV~

puppies, doggies. well just so in love with them! man best friend. loyalty. indeed man! my little rascal at home is just as cute as these dogs! i really him alot. =)

at 12:18 PM

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Wam vision night.

had a great moment watching how Paul Baloche taught throught the DVD. in different aspects like, as musicians how do you work together as one band instead of all are one-man wanab. also for pnw leaders how to communicate with the musicians and how to lead a good worship. as a singer nv really learn much but admit that the spiritual input was good. i learn how to becoming and be part of a music team! then nel meet all the singers and pnw leader and we started to discuss about the improvements we wana see in this ministry in order to reach our dream plans 5 years down the road! alot of comments were brought up and true, it's all the problems i see even in my own ministry! i think the biggest problem is still the balancing of one's pastoral ministry and ministry's ministry. Randall was asking me it is hard to balance coz exactly how to give 100% to pastoral and 100% to singing ministry? being truthful i have no answer for this but i only know is since you join this ministry which is being a minister on stage, hearts gotta be guarded and spiritual life should soar! humans are sinful creatures so no doubt in the spiritual walk, there will be down times. BUT once the down time is over, be stronger and walk DEEPER with God. Don't be a men- pleaser but let men see how God is still using you despite you are not perfect. i like what nel says, if you got the skills let those who are spiritual be attracted to have to want your skills. if you are spiritual, let those who got the skills to want to have that spirituality like yours. - singers i hope you understand this statement and let's all work harder!

hey singers and choir! when gonna have outing?!? EXCITED MAN! i love this team!!!!

taken last night. HAHAHAHA. a bunch of crazy people.

at 2:07 PM

Monday, July 17, 2006

Half a green light given.

struggled in my course for 3 years. year after year i perserved. reason is i dun wana waste the money my parents are paying. especially when my dad is the bread-winner of the whole house. now i am 21 yrs old and have finish my poly life. what's next? working in a hospital? private clinic? alot been asking me where i plan to go next. honestly i was lost. i didn't know where i wanted to go coz all i know is i DON'T WANT to work in nursing line.

finally i made up my mind to be firm in this decision and have came out with a plan. approach my mom with fear as mind was thinking of how to tell her this plan i have. will her answer be, "No! cannot! must work in nursing line 1st! then later wat u want, u can do." i was really so FEARFUL. but well as bible says, "faith drives all fears AWAY." so i went and told her my plans. to my amazement, my mom is glad that finally i have grow up. knowing that wat i want, i gotta learn to work for it. she even encourage me to work for 2-3 years to save up for my education! how great can this be!!!!!! though i nv work in my life b4, but finally i have half a green light given!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this heavy load is finally taken off my shoulders. =)

so next task is going thru my dad. i am so gonna trust in God for what i am doing. ^^

a diff jo you will slowly see!

at 12:24 PM

Sunday, July 16, 2006

she is just 11 years old. O MY GOODNESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at 1:18 AM

Friday, July 14, 2006

Rain's newest song. "Free Way"

eugene was saying that the feel looks abit like Justin Timberlake. i agree. . .

at 1:53 PM

Cockroach Attack!

it happened last night. i was doing my business in my toilet when suddenly i saw this hugh brown cockroach staring at me. it was located at my sink so means that it was just right beside me! i don't have the habit to scream whenever i see such unsightly stuff but rather i will freeze up so i froze up for ard 2 secs. then faster finish my business and ask my bro aka insect buster to catch the cockroach and flush into the toilet bowl!

ekkkkkkks!!!!!!!!!!! i really hate cockroach man! someone ask me this before, if cockroaches is so dirty and er xin, why God still make them? i will make sure i ask God this when i go up heaven.

gotta buy insecticide and put in my toilet. ALL COCKROACHES WILL DIE. BWAHAHAHAHA.

at 10:34 AM

Thursday, July 13, 2006

finally change my blogskin! kinda like this blogskin coz it's so soulful feel. ^^

at 10:14 PM

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Relieved.

last night was a time i bared my heart to God and today i still feel the conviction so much in me. Yeah, i will see my life change totally for God!

anyway flipping thru Life's newspaper today come across Rick Warren's interview. Rick Warren is the author of The purpose driven life, a powerful book. Read it and then u will how anointed this man is. anyway talking about the interview, Rick Warren left a super good impression to the reporter. =) i like his PEACE plan. "Plant churches, Equip servant leaders, Assist the poor, Care for the sick and Educate the next generation." because my mom recently went for his seminar i was talking to her about Rick Warren and boy she told me that she saw Rick Warren coming out from his car and she was eager to go and hug him! i believe God change my mom thru this man's life. =) indeed a light-house for God.

sad news is terrorist attack starts again. . . now Mumbai is attack. sometimes i really wonder if these terrorist really win the whole world what is their next plan? or they will end up feeling so dumb doing all these. so tempted to make a death prayer upon all these terrorist. sounds evil? can't help coz innocent lives are paid upon their doings.

ok la, time to go out and search for jobs. ^^

at 1:50 PM

Come, forget everything and just sing with me.

How great is our God.

now then i understood the meaning of this song. everything around me seems so wrong. did i really make a wrong decision? did i? to put down everything that hurts so much and to just sing how awesome and great is God is tough. as the bible says, "rejoice and be glad in it" in any suitations or circumstances, learn to rejoice. . . just learn to.

while learning to move on, God comforted me thru my nursing fren that i knw during my last attachment. she told me that God wants to tell me that He is pleased with me so continue to serve with a joyful heart. i teared while seeing her msg.

a prayer to God.

Dear God in heaven,

I am grateful for all that You have done for me all these years. my pride and rebellious attitude, You moulded so much. the time when i felt the lowest, i learnt to depend on You. i learnt to rejoice even in tears and hurts. so tough so tough. however because of your grace you showed on me, i learn to move on and trust in You. all that i am doing in my life, ministry, i believe it is You that is pushing me to be stronger. God, i don't want to stuck in where i am anymore, i want to improve. i want to lead my life and ministry to greater heights where Your glory can be showed. i don't want to please men but i want all Your attention and only please You. i want to see success in my life! i want people to come up to me and me to dicsciple them! i want to see more of these kind of people in church. i want to be one of them too. ANOINT ME. PLEASE ANOINT ME. i want to learn more, i want to lead more, i want to do more. i hate fame, i hate people to recognise me as the singer on stage, i hate to stand in front of people and say things that seems to make no sense. i hate all these. i just want to be known as Joanne who is a woman after God's heart.
God, i repent all i the wrongs i have done. take it all away from me. i want to lead a pure life.

God, bring the real me out from today onwards.

thanks God. amen.

i will worship, i will worship You. . . .Jesus i believe in You.

at 1:02 AM

Sunday, July 09, 2006

The big smile.

when back to malaysia on sat morning. a 4 hours drive and finally i reach my grandma's hse. the moment we got out of the car, i could really see a wide smile on my grandma's face.

Yesterday, was her 80th birthday. =)

usually it's always CNY that i can see all my aunties, uncles and cousins. but honestly this birthday celebration beats everything. i saw some of my cousins that i have not seen for 18 plus? amazing man. ^^ most of the time i wil kinda bored when i return coz there's not much things to do at all! no internet, no SCV, nothing. small village tt's why. this year is different. i was baby-sitting during the celebration. the weird thing, i enjoyed doing so. HAHAHA! i think in total i had 2 toddlers and 3 primary kids at my table. mind u, there are my cousins. -.-" there was this time where all cousins were ask to gather at one table to take pictures. it was so fun la! secret was i used to have a crush on one my cousin coz i really think he is very good-looking. finally, i got the chance to take pic with him. BWAHAHAHA!! got chance will upload the picture. ah ha! finally the time to sing birthday song. both chinese and english~ cool man. i think yesterday was the only day i see my grandma's smile so wide. i feel good chatting with my aunties and uncles and cousins. played with my shua toddler cousin too. darn handsome man that boy.

sad thing, gotta rush home after the celebration. so reach home ard 11.30pm. 1st time in history reach home within 2 hours. AMAZING! hahahahaha. anyway now i am really dead tired man. wana go ZZZzzzz liao......

at 12:52 AM

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Writings.

recently really have nothing to blog. is it a good thing or a bad one? hmm. BUT today, i really have much to blog!

just a few days ago, i was watching this show, "Adam Patch". starring Robin Willams as a person who admitted himself to mental hospital and learn the art of giving happiness to everyone by laughing. to him he believes that laughter is the best medicine. so he decided to be a doctor. it is a very touching show and inspiring one. how true that sometimes to balance your profession and wanting to go all the way for the patient is really tough. honestly, hospital's protocol sometimes really sucks. (sorry man, i reali do feel this way) By the way, this show is base on a true story. =) do catch it!

anyway to continue, i had a singers meeting from all all congregation held by Nel. it was kinda nice to see all singers and choir members from all ss. learning from one another and listening to recordings that nearly bleed our ears. HAHA! but well, hope to see changes and improvements from this ministry. =)

yesterday was Poly/Di night. IT WAS SO FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the feeling of going crazy on stage and seeing everyone also going crazy is darn fun. the shouting, singing, praising and dancing was great. some may say it is so youthful of us to do all this, some may say this is praising God not performance. LET ME TELL U THIS INTO YOUR FACE, to bring out the best pnw within you is to perform to God. no such thing as this is too youthful or wat. rubbish. a pack of rubbish. indeed. King david dance till his pants drop. He is crazy? yeah. crazy for God. if there is one ting i wana comment about tertiary pnw, it will be, pls change our mindset.

don't just sing, dance too. don't just dance, sing ba.

the power of changing lives is not about ourself, but our life with God.

thanks poly/di for having this pnw night, i found back myself with God. - serve my talents to the people. amen.

at 4:24 PM

Monday, July 03, 2006

Updates.

Portugal WON!!!!!!!!!!

Brazil lost.

next exciting match to catch is Portugal vs France.

PORTUGAL WILL WIN. <------ amen to this? =)

anyway some things happen and it is reali so unpleasant. . . . .no individualism please? anyway, com is down and so many things i can't do!!!! hints from God? hmm. . . .shall look into my life for improvements. yeah! ^^

at 1:59 AM