i hope you know
your strength is there,
to fight and battle
this victory race.

i hope you run
in the dying fields
and know your spirit
He will yield.

i hope you dance
on the darkest stage
and know that even so,you arent afraid.

i hope you smile
in these dire straits
and tell me
you 'd love to stand up straight

i hope with these passion
you'd keep the faith,the love and grace
;and go ahead,
to win your race.
a poem from Dawn. thanks for it. it is so encouraging!

today was a super long day. super super exhausted.. .. *symptoms of tiredness: body feels is hot, vision getting blurrer* not only this, having a big ulcer on my lower lips...worst of all, my teeth got to brush against it all the time. PAIN!

URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i reali feel like tearing satan apart man! pardon me, just read finish Genesis 2-4. tt idiot, coz of him we have to go thru temptations n sufferings! *drinking COLD water - pssshhhs* anyway i do sound angry hor? hmm... ...sori pass the wrong msg.. hahahaha! reali amazed with myself! usually when i get bored i will go downstairs n watch TV till midnite. but today, no no to TV. i took out my study bible n start reading. a new Jo-N. wow. haha. o yeah!!!! i can go for june camp!!!! wee!!!! holidays in june!!!! the whole month! yeah yeah yeah! so excited! my mom going too!

share my funi bus trip today. i took bus from bishan n when the bus was travelling to hougang, i was sleeping so so soundly. then suddenly *bang!*. guess wat happen? no i didn't fall. i actuali bang my head against the window!!!!!!! it was painful but i responded so slowly to it... guess my primary sensory cortex abit slow. hmmm. but think abt it, how many funi or embrassing moment do we have n we dare to share it out? i have alot but it will take tml to share finish man...wahahahha!

*YAWNS - tears forming* reali ZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZz. cannot take it. bed here i come!

joyful, cheerful, sleepy and tired. had a long day today. had cg then came n home joined my parent's cg. which i got to talk to their UL, Richard. wow, had a great time talking to him! abt God's love n how a we as a child of God should do. just realise tt David in the bible wrote psalm when he was in his most discourage moment. wow!!! imagine a guy who is given a choice to fall or stay, yet still can write out such beautiful psalms! anyway yeah the kids in my parent's cg are so cute! especially Jaden. sunday was his birthday!!! Happy Birthday boy!! :)

today in cg had a wonderful time of my life! the game was fun, the praise was hilarious, which is led by Eilton, the worship got abit of mistake but it was sooo ministering! holy com which was led by Job had a new feel. got to read Malachi. the sermon was great! reali thank God for LiYan who reali had to sacrifice her time despite of her exams to lead this cg. a CL for NYP3 gotta quickly rise up!

yeah forgot, i had a wonderful n enjoyable moment with my brother. i caught up with my brother outside my rm playing the guitar. soon the both of us were playing the guitar together! we played "centre of my life" n the next song just brought the both of us into the very presence of God.. we played "here i am to worship". while we were just playing the 2nd song, God reali impress on my heart so much for my brother tt soon my heart felt so so burden for him. i can felt as though God was crying out for my brother. so pain! so i took the opportunity to broke out in new songs n there, i prayed for the both of our lives. i told my brother wat was happening in my life n i told him abt his life too. honestly i hate to see both our lives been pack up with activities, frenz, studies. life without God = meaningless life. i reali had a great talk with him n i reali wana thank god for giving me this opportunity to talk to my brother. somehow i felt tt just now's worship had impacted somewhere deep in our heart...

anyway, there is this person in my life whom i reali find it so so hard to forgive. but today, i had allow God to remove it, all of it. i just wana tell this person tt i knw i have been so rude to you, which in the bible it says tt "love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth", ignoring you, pretend to give a miss to your presence. for this actions, i apologise. i reali hope to see myself loving you more each day. just for a simple reason, i am sinner who is trying to be like Jesus.

how i am in love with the man that God says that he is the man after His own heart. i love everything about David! his child-like joy, faith, love, understanding..... from a shepherd's boy to a king. all David did was to trust in God n serve God faithfully. i reali wana see myself growing to be like David!so if you ever ask me who i admire in the bible, i would say is David. :)

anyway, some people have been asking me how am i and to answer them, i am doing reali fine! just finish reading " A Love Worth Giving". now still reading " A Purpose Driven Life" and been struggling reading the study bible! wahahha! i feel like i am having a war with the study bible! as in a good way actuali. like when i was reading genesis, i do not where to start frm and i thought this bible is just teaching no verses to read. all i saw was maps n explanations... until i saw "Genesis 1" hehe...am i just blur or wat. yeah, i reali love everything abt my life now! don't be mistaken that i don't love my past life or wat, just that now everything tt is happening or is in my life, i reali luv it to bits!!!! i always thought tt i am not a gd leader or as a gd fren. well, it is true. it is God who change me inside out instead! just like the other day when i was taking bus home with my classmate, she asked me who i admire in class. so i think for a while n said that it is one gal n her. she was shocked when i actuali mention her name coz she didn't think tt i would admire her for how n who she is. let me explain abt this two classmates of mine. both of them are reali very cool ppl. both are friendly, understanding, very very slow to anger, intelligent and they reali love the people ard them. just too bad they both aren't Christians. *hai..* anyway so it was my turn to ask her who she admired in class. when she said who it was, i nearly got choked. she actuali mention me. ME! me? ME? of coz i was honoured but i was rather curious. i mean i am not a smart student instead always having average marks in class n almost flunk in every subjects and i can't reali get well along with so many people in class. i am only known in class as a singer, crapper, joker n someone who can't speak chinese well. **sounds rather sad to me...** so ask her y me.
then she said, "well, coz you are someone who is open to everyone, friendly, n you accept everyone as who they are." just as simple as this. i can make her admire me. whao.
of coz we all knw who to reali thank for. the one who created me! my daddy in heaven, my 1st love, my Lord, my best fren, my saviour, my grace giver, my love giver, Him, HIM, Him!!!!!
reali on cloud nine now! feeling reali great when i knw i have started my day off with God! anyway now i will go back doing wat i am suppose to do...*YAWNSZZZ* yeah anyway, have a great time serving God n make full use of your youth times n always remember tt God's love can nv be replace!!!!!!

last nite was showing two good shows. "The Wedding Singer" and "Black Hawk Down". one shows abt joy n true love while the other shows the harsh reality n controlling of emotions during war times. [The Wedding Singer] - i like the part where the guy went after the gal n not knowing that the gal he loves was on the same plane as him. when he knew, he played the guitar n sang to her..the song is very very nice. so sweet man... hahahahha! [Black Hawk Down] - this story is reali a show tt touches my heart. the true reality abt life. the ugly side abt wars. i felt so sad when the captain went to visit his soldier who was shot at the abdominal area. this soldier actuali knew tt he can't go on anymore but still he show a brave front to his captain n tell him tt wait till he recover he will be back on the battlefield again. while the captain too, showed a brave front to the soldier n agreed with wat he said. *tears forming* wars reali sux man.. so many innocent lives are lost just coz of pride, greed, etc. can't imagine how hurt God is.
ok la, gotta sleep liao! waha!

morning people!read this story n be inspired!

you knw when love is real when you weep with those who weep n rejoice with those who rejoice. you knw your love is real when you feel for others wat Catherine Lawes felt for the inmates of SingSing prison. when her husband, Lewis, became the warden in 1921, she was a young mother of 3 daughters. everybody warned her never to step foot inside the walls.but she didn't listen to them. when the 1st prison basketball game was held, in she went, 3 girls in tow and took a seat in the bleachers with the inmates.
she once said,"my husband and I are going to take care of these men, and i believe they will take care of me! i don't have to worry!"
when she heard that 1 convicted murderer was blind, she taught him Braille so he could read. upon learning inmates who were hearing impaired, she studied sign language so they could communicate. for 16 yrs Catherine Lawes soften the hard hearts of the men of SingSing. in 1937 the world saw the difference real love makes.
the prisoners knew something was wrong when Lewis Lawes didn't report to work. quickly the word spread that Catherine had been killed in a car accident. the following day her body was placed in her home, 3/4 of a mile from the prison. as the acting warden took his early morning walk, he noticed a large gathering at the main gate. every prisoner pressed against the fence. eyes awash with tears. faces solemn, no one spoke or moved. they'd come to stand as close as they could to the woman who'd given them love.
the warden made a remarkable decision. "all right, men , you can go. just to be sure to check in tonight."these were America's hardest criminals. murderers. robbers. these were men the nation had locked away for life. but the warden unlocked the gate for them, and they walked without escort or guard to the home of Catherine Lawes to pay their last respects. and to a man, each one returned.
real love changes people.- a story taken from "A Love Worth Giving"

take note this story is a true story.

is it rite for someone to get angry? i once read a book and it says tt anger shows childishness. of coz let not include holy anger. today i just learnt something, actuali being angry with family members or frenz is wat Satan wants. at times tt are not favourable, our anger just show. so those easily angered ppl like me, lets always pray tt God's peace will be upon us! :)

anyway, today played the guitar for Dawn's cg, NYP5! reali wana thank God them for allowing me to play the guitar in their cg. thanks Dawn (CL), Denice, Georgia, Serene and Felicia! it was quite a fun n loving group. quite enjoy myself. hehe! NYP gotta have more guitarists!!!!!! come on, lets learn n play for the rite reason! yeah! actuali now i am soooooooooo sleepy..... got a bad feeling tt tml will get a flu.. erks!!! today spent my whole day with a splitting headache. challenging. recently, talk to a sister who was having an unsteady walk with the Lord. realise tt she is not coz being push to be a leader or anything, but instead her life is so free n she began to slack...she just hate to have such a life. she wants tasks! she wants information on the tip of her fingers! she wants to lead! i have captured her spirit. hey gal, just wana encourage you to be firm n wait. while waiting let God train you to have more patience and train you to have more leadership skills so tt when the rite time comes, you will be prosper n fruitful! remember momentum is capture by ourselves. not just alone waiting for it to come by. it won't work.Hebrews 11:2-3. this is your answer from God. *Yawns**** tml waking at 6am. darn. yeah off now to do my QT! check out "I Will Go" by Hillsongs London. the song is so latin feel.

morning!
yesterday had a great time at Sharon's hse with Pearline, XueTing, Donald, Jenny, Clarence, Caleb, Kelvin, MeiJuan, WanQi and JingQi. learnt to play the viola! hehe! n then watch this thriller show "Koma". i thought it was some horror show n i got excited but then.. ..it was actuali quite a -_-" show. for me la.. hehe! but still thank God for Clarence for bringing the VCD! yeah! realise TP ppl like mahjong. anyway gonna share wat i learnt today.

"The Habit of Abstinence" - the habit of fasting.
guess we all knw tt fasting without a reason/purpose is dieting. well, i admit i always fall into this. but after going thru this lesson which is abit comical, i learnt more abt fasting. fasting is actuali feasting on God's word. the reason to fast is to strengthen our prayers, seek God's guidance, seek God's protection and deliverance, express repentance and return to God, overcoming temptation and express luv, concern and worship to God. when i read all this points i was wondering tos times of fastin where were i.
i like this part of the teaching, "the practice of fasting". the 2nd points talks abt breaking your fast. it teaches me how to break my fast properly! cool rite. like when i break fast, break on small quantities of food like salads, fruits NOT fishball noodles, nasi bryni, etc. i start laughing after reading finish the 2nd point coz... ...i remember breaking fast @ mac!!!!! wahaha! anyway, yeah this teaching is not reali a long one but now i have a deeper understanding fasting. there you go, my lesson abt fasting.

so today is a special day for tos who are couples out there. do you reali think soooooo?? *evil grins* today should be a day where we christians learn to share to ppl abt God's love! like wat my msg with eilton goes:

eilton:"Happy Valentine's Day! it is a time to show your care and concern for one another! in fact everyday should be valentine's day!Thank God for Valentine's Day!

DJ:"Yeah! Love is always in the air coz we are serving a loving God! same to you, Happy Valentine's Day! let's all grow in love! :)

love God love ppl! Heb 6:10

Happy Valentine's Day to ALL! have this love story to share.

Do Small things with Great Love

All of us want to do something grand to show our love for our loved ones. It would be marvellous if we have the opportunity to do it. But, we don’t need to carry out grand things in order to show great love for others and for God. We don’t have to do big things only small things with great love. It is the intensity of love we put into our actions every day that makes them into something beautiful for God and for others. It is not the magnitude of our action that counts but the depth of love we put into it.

So, how do we show how much love we put into our deeds every day? Mother Teresa shows us how, “Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.

How does a lamp burn? Through the continuous input of small drops of oil. If the drops of oil run out, the light of the lamp will cease, and the bridegroom will say, “I do not know you” (Matthew 25:1-13).

What are these drops of oil in our lamps? They are the small things of daily life: faithfulness, punctuality, small words of kindness, a thought for others, our way of being silent, of looking, of speaking, and of acting. These are the true drops of love that keep our religious life burning like a lively flame.

Do not look for Jesus away from yourselves. He is not out there; He is in you. Keep your lamp burning, and you will recognize Him.” (A Life for God, 70)

Even a small thing like being present for others can be done with great love. Mother Teresa says: “If there is a need God will guide you, as He guided us to serve those with AIDS. We don’t judge these people, we don’t ask what happened to them and how they got sick, we just see the need and care for them. I think God is telling us something with AIDS, giving us an opportunity to show our love. People with AIDS have awakened the tender love in those who had perhaps shut it out and forgotten it.

Sister Dolores shows how simply being there with love is often enough:

"There is a lot of fear at the beginning for those who come to us with AIDS. It is hard for them to cope with the fact that they are going to die. But being there with us and seeing us with others in their last moments makes a difference. I remember in New York that the mother of a man from Puerto Rico offered to nurse him if he came home. He thanked her but said he would remain with us, though he would visit her. One day he told me, ‘I know when I am dying you will be there holding my hand,’ because he had seen us doing it with others and knew that he wouldn’t die alone.

It’s quite simple really. The dying are moved by the love they receive and it may be just a touch of my hand, or a glass of water, or providing them with some kind of sweet they desire. You just take that to them, what they ask for, and they are satisfied and know someone cares for them, someone loves them, someone wants them---and that, in itself, is a great help to them. Because of this they believe that God must be even kinder, more generous, and so their souls are lifted up to God. As we don’t preach, we just do what we do with love, they are touched by God’s grace."

Brother Geoff, General Servant of the Ministries of Charity Brothers, also comments of the best way to offer love:

"When people who are used to being rejected and abandoned experience being accepted by others and being loved, when they see people are giving their time and energy for them, that conveys a message that, after all, they are not rubbish.

Certainly, love is expressed first in being with before doing to someone. We have to continually, renew our awareness of this because we can get caught up in a lot of the doing for. You see, if our actions do not first come from the desire to be with a person, then it really becomes just social work. When you are willing to be with a poor person you can recognise his need and if your love is genuine you naturally want to do what you can as an expression of your love. Service, in a way, is simply a means of expressing your being for the person---and often with the poorest people you cannot completely alleviate their problem. But by being with them, by being for them, whatever you can do for them makes a difference. The message we try to convey to the poorest of the poor is: We cannot solve your problems but God loves you even while you are handicapped or alcoholic or have leprosy, and whether or not you become cured, God loves you just as much and we are here to express that love. And if we can help relieve their pain a bit all well and good, but it is more important for us to remind them that even in the midst of pain and suffering, God loves them. It’s a difficult message to communicate, obviously, but we believe that being for them is the first thing. If you spend time with a person then that is as much an expression of love as what you can do for them.’” (A Simple Path, 87-90)

"I would like it very much if our Co-Workers, each in his or her own immediate environment, would concentrate more and more on giving service freely and generously to the poor. Let each of them seek out those who live alone, who lack affection, those cut off, in any way, and try to see in them the suffering Christ.

Give some a smile, visit someone for a short time, make a fire for someone who is cold, read something to someone. These are small things, very small, but they will make your love for God more concrete." (Stories of Mother Teresa, 61)

“It may happen that a mere smile, a short visit, the lighting of a lamp, writing a letter for a blind man, carrying a bucket of charcoal, offering a pair of sandals, reading the newspaper for someone--something small, very small--may, in fact, be our love of God in action.” (A Life for God, 77)

Again, Father Henri Nouwen shows us how we can choose love in the little things we do every day: “We choose love by taking small steps of love every time there is an opportunity. A smile, a handshake, a word of encouragement, a phone call, a card, an embrace, a kind greeting, a gesture of support, a moment of attention, a helping hand, a present, a financial contribution, a visit---all these are little steps toward love.

Each step is like a candle burning in the night. It does not take the darkness away, but it guides us through the darkness. When we look back after many small steps of love, we will discover that we have made a long and beautiful journey.” (Bread for the Journey, June 15)

To pay attention to others can also be done with great love, as Father Henri Nouwen says, “Paying attention to our fellow human beings is far from easy. We tend to be so insecure about our self-worth and so much in need of affirmation that it is very hard not to ask for attention ourselves. Before we are fully aware of it, we are speaking about ourselves, referring to our experiences, telling our stories, or turning the subject of conversation toward our own territory. The familiar sentence, ‘That reminds me of. . .’ is a standard method of shifting attention from the other to ourselves. To pay attention to others with the desire to make them the center and to make their interests our own is a real form of self-emptying, since to be able to receive others into our intimate inner space we must be empty. That is why listening is so difficult. It means our moving away from the center of attention and inviting others into that space.

From experience we know how healing such an invitation can be. When someone listens to us with real concentration and expresses sincere care for our struggles and our pains, we feel that something very deep is happening to us. Slowly, fears melt away, tensions dissolve, anxieties retreat, and we discover that we carry within us something we can trust and offer as a gift to others. The simple experience of being valuable and important to someone else has a tremendous re-creative power.” (Compassion, 80)

Ultimately, God will not ask us how many projects we have accomplished, the number of books we have read, nor how many degrees we have obtained, but He will ask us if we have done our best, for the love of Him and others.

helo helo!
yesterday was a super funi day. how should i describe? hmm... ....seems hard to describe. anyway, yesterday's ss was hilarious and at the same time i learnt something new. Pastor Jeff, someone whom i reali love alot n respect.mayb some of us when we 1st convert wasn't because of God (who can identify with me?), for me, Pastor Jeff was y i wanted to knw more abt God. his strong conviction just blew me away even when i was just super luke-warm, a frequent church hopper christian. think abt it, i am reali so glad tt i decided to come for the church camp instead of OBS camp 2 years back. *phew*
i reali wana apologise to my shepherd, LiYan. i know i had hurt u big time yet you didn't show me any negative emotions. i was rude to you yet you didn't mind n dare to correct me. with all these, i am learning to love and cherish you more. like wat Dawn said, you are a woman of God. wateva you do, it is always putting God 1st. nothing else but God. LiYan, just want to tell you tt even though now i am learning to stand up once again, i will protect n love you to my best. "God offers authentic love. His devotion is the real deal. But He won't give you the genuine. Until you surrender the imitations." - Max Lucado's "A Love Worth Giving".
finally with God's help, i manage to let go of some things in life. somethings tt i have been holding it n refusing it to let go. finally it ended. i am glad. a new life with a new beginning.
so wat have i been doing?well, just read finish the 5th chapter of "the purpose driven life". it is "seeing life from God's view". i like this question tt was posed in the book, "if i asked how you picture life, wat image would come to your mind? tt image is your life metaphor. it's the view of life tt you hold, consciously or unconsiously in your mind. it's your description of how life works and wat you expect frm it." encourage you guys to read "the purpose driven life" bk. while stocks last! :)
gotta a story to share again!taken frm "A Love Worth Giving"
in his bk Handyman of the Lord, William Borders tells the story of a black man whose poverty had left him begging for food. ringing the front doorbell at a Southern mansion, the man was told to go around to the back, where he would be given something to eat. the owner of the mansion met him on the porch and said, "First we will bless the food. repeat after me, 'our Father who art in heaven. . .'"
the hungry man replied, "your Father, who art in heaven. . ."
"no," the owner of the hse corrected. "our Father who art in heaven. . ."
still the beggar said, "your Father who art in heaven. . ."
frustrated, the giver of the food asked, "why do you insist on saying 'your Father' when i keep tellin you to say 'our Father'?"
the man answered, "if i say 'our Father', tt would make you and me brothers, and i am afraid the Lord wouldn't like it, you're asking your brother to come to the back porch to get a piece of bread."

today i studied about "the habit of stewardship". it was a tough lesson as this habit is not in me. but i guess now, i reali wan to have this habit as i wana see blessings unfolding in my life. Gal 5:13 - " You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love."

this is wat i learnt.

there are 5 major areas of life that Christians are responsible and accountable to God for:
1) Life - wat you have received.
2)Time - wat you have been allotted.
3)Talents - wat you have been given to use.
4)Possessions - wat has been entrusted to you.
5)Finance - wat you have laboured for.

here is a colgate story.
William Colgate, the great soap and perfume manufacturer, rose to fame and wealth while consistently paying a tithe of his earnings into the gospel treasury. this he recognized as the minimum requirement designated by divine wisdom; and yeary by year as God prospered his efforts and multiplied his wealth, Mr. Colgate gladly gave far more than a tenth. today a great christian university stands as a monument to his fidelity and generosity.

if you were thinking is this the colgate we use to brush our teeth, you are right. can go n check out more abt him! :)

wat are the standards of giving?
it is to give to your best. when you say that you reali wana be giving, it is to give your most excellence, outstanding, greatest, surpassing, most useful or desirable one. tough huh. anyway the next standard is giving as top priority. i think alot of times we tends to think tt when we give tithings, it is "we give". how abt changing this concept? how abt when we give tithings, it is we give back to God for He gave us money.

i think one thing y sometimes ppl don't like the idea of tithing is because since God don't need money (which all of us knw), the money confirm is go to the church. yeah, it is true. but it is to help those missionaries, help tos who needs fianicial help in church, help to improve the settings of the church, or else where you think the air-con, the comfortable seats, the lightings, the electricity come from? hope you got the main statement.

well, i got my answer tt if i want God's blessings very much, i gotta learn to develop a 'giving' life pattern. listen to this, "at the same time God is under no obligation to multiply our gifts. he only does so because he loves us."

another story to share. this time is "Which Nephew are you?"
a man had built a prosperous business through zealous toil and honest dealings. as he advanced in age, he felt concernced about the future of his enterprise because he had no close relatives except 3 nephews. one day he summoned the young men and said, " i have a problem, and whoever comes up with the best solution will inherit all that i possess." giving each of them an equal sum of money, he instructed them to buy something that would fill his large office. "spend no more than i've given you," he directed, "and be sure you're back by sunset."
all day long his nephews sought to fulfill their mission.finally, when the shadows lengthened, they obediently returned to make their report. their uncle asked to see their purchases. the 1st dragged a hugh bale of straw into the room. when it was untied it made a pile that nearlyhid 2 of the walls. after it was cleared away, the 2nd brought in 2 large bags of thistledown, which when released filled three-fourths of the room. this was even better than the 1st.
the 3rd nephew stood silent and forlorn. "and wat have you to offer?" asked his aged relative. "uncle, i spent half of my money to feed a hungry child and gave almost all the rest to the church. with the little i had left, i bought these matched and a small candle." the he lit the taper, and its light filled every corner of the room! the kindly old man realized that here was the noblest of them all. he blessed him for making the best use of his gift and gave him all his possessions.

wonder, now is chinese new year, are tos married one out there reading this lesson? hmm.. ..

wee! i am back! :) haha! HAPI CHINESE NEW YEAR to everyone! may this year 2005 b a blessed year n see yaself growing fruitfully in God.

yeah got video clips on fire works down at my ah ma's hse but.. ..don't have the cable to sent it from my hp. sad thing man. anyway got this cute little dog in my ah ma's hse! name, toby. he is soooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha!!!! kinda miss him now. *toby, to-by..*

ok here is the story.

a man once asked a woman how she could prove tt the bible is the Word of God. the christian woman replied, "how can you prove tt there is a sun in the sky." he answered, "because i can feel its heat n i can see its light.". "it is the same with me," she said,"i knw the bible is true becuase it warms my soul and gives light to my path."

is it cool or wat. anyway i will be gone for malaysia tml. sob** can't go for the movie............ nv mind i will treat myself n mayb my bro to watch on thursday! yeah! wahahha! kinda sleepy now.... *yawns*

suppose to wake up at 9am to go for morning walk but then.. ..hehe.. ..was too sleepy. *damn* shall wake up at 8am tml. Lord pls wake me up! :)

anyway, last nite i was doing my studying on "Habits on Devotion". was quite long but i reali learnt alot. stuff like, when is the rite time, where is the rite place, not to rush during QT, etc.
got a inspiring story to share but i can't remember.. ..shall go home later n find it out. do wait for the story dudes!

so how is life? well, i think it's great! despite of things tt are happening, i realise God's love and patience unfolding infront of me. i shan't live according to my emotions because i want to be strong. actuali now, i reali felt tt i am so much in love. i may be growing in the area of love but it reali feels great to knw tt there is someone who reali loves you for who you are. the best thing, He gives you 100% attention. come on, admit it, who else can give you this kind of treatment??
last nite as i was walking home, i was singing a new song n man, the sky is reali beautiful! tt was how i got inspired to compose. i use to think how do i define whether i reali love a person. guess now i knw. it is quite mushy so i won't blog it out. haha! can reali imagine how much David loved God. "let's dance and sing!" ok enough liao.. ..was at cloud nine for a moment now am back to earth.

half an hours time i will be back in the lecture hall. *yawns* how can i love studies more? hmm.. ..*blank*. anyway i am so glad tt i am in a class filled with great frenz. caring n loving frenz. reali thank God for them! o yeah, b4 i forget, i am opening my hse on sundays for jamming n studying of the WOG. anyone interested? guess when everyone is studying the WOG together, we will learn from one another. do leave your beautiful name at the tag-board ok! thanks! everyone, love God more!

it was an enjoyable day! had a great time playing captains ball, had a great time playing water bomb, had a great time singing with Dawn near the pool, had a fun time splashing water at Kehan, had a teachable moment with Pearline (i am the listener), summarising up, i had a fantastic time with my brothers n sisters! glad tt i did went to the event.
i will not look back at where i was neither will i became who i were in the past but i want to be wat God wants me to be.i am so free from my worries and fears.wat Pearline said was true. "wateva you said is God's words not your own." thanks pal.
to encourage all those who are discourage at this moment, it is normal to feel discourage because all of us are human beings. but remember since we are serving a unseen God due to our faith, we should also the faith in trusting God in our problems. think abt this, when is the last time you thank God for the blessings tt he gave you? if not, take this time to thank him. :) you are precious to God no matter how you treat Him. all because of one reason, He loves you.


when i ask for stars
you filled the whole sky with it
when i ask for help
you stretch your hand
when i ask for peace
you covered my ears

and guess wat.. ..

i am in love
every single day
every single moment
without realising
i fallen in love
with the one who created the me

each time i break your heart
you healed mine not yours
each time i blame you
you comfort me instead
each time i forgot abt u
you will look for me

and guess wat.. ..

i am in love
every single day
every single moment
without realising
i fallen in love
with the one who created the me

yeah God, i am falling in love with you all over again.

got this from HanYew's blog. it is so meaningful.

My understanding and definition of a backslider: Anyone who loves God less today than yesterday.

My understanding on how to commit spiritual suicide: Harden your heart.

My understanding on the best solution I know how to hang on to God: Just obey your leaders, despite you like your leaders or not.

My understanding and definition on maturity: To choose to do the right thing even when you do not feel like it.

Maturity is not equal to hypocrisy.

My understanding of hypocrisy: To do what seems right to the norm knowingly even when you do not feel like it. In other words, to force yourself to do what's right.

A trustworthy saying: Let go and let God.

A wise saying: In good times, God whispers in still small voice at your ear and you can hear Him. In bad times, God shouts in amplified volumn everwhere but you hardly hear Him.

My understanding of self-righteousness: To think that your standard is higher than God's standard.

My understanding of righteousness: No one is righteous except God. So what's righteousness? Righteousness is walking and following in God's way.

My understanding of salvation: God created us. All sinned and fall short of God's standard and glory. When we sinned against God, only God can forgive us. No work can earn salvation, only grace can. Grace is getting what we do not deserve and is good. God loves us still and sent Jesus to die on the cross to redeem our wage for eternal death for eternal life. Jesus is the only way. Forgiveness is offered to everyone. Whoever chooses to believe has salvation. Salvation is free but not cheap. It is a gift.

My understanding of all unbelievers' purpose on earth: To reconcil the relationship with God.

My understanding of all Christians' purpose on earth: To know God and to make God known. In other words, to evangelise.

The only thing Christians have to do on earth but not required in heaven is evangelism.

Knowledge: Knowing about.

Wisdom: Applying knowledge.

Conviction: Applying wisdom into reality and action.

A wise challenge: To obey God when you most do not feel like it.

A new lesson I learnt: Do not express or supress emotions, but express emotions. I can express emotions but I should not be emotional.

I can know alot, but it doesn't mean I am convicted. Much wisdom and knowledge comes much grief and sorrow. However, knowledge and wisdom can save you and point you in the long run.

Conversion is a process, not an overnight of transformation. To build, first break. To build high, first build deep.

Width is how much you know. Depth is how much you understand in context, application and conviction.

A wise saying: To live for One Audience who loves is better than living for a thousand audience who hates.

There is only One who never change in loving you.

Never trust in man. Trust in the Maker of man.

today did my QT on habits on fellowship. hmm..there is this sentence which captured my attention, "everyone needs encouragement. ENCOURAGE, encourage and encourage." after going thru the teaching, i realise most of the times i took fellowship for granted. how abt you? do you have the excitment, the joy, the eagerness to meet up your fellow cg or unit ppl? if all this while you drag yourself in to fellowship, better sit back n think. :) anyway, there is this person whom i reali admire..don't wori it is not a guy. hahaha!! it is PEARLINE! she is someone who shares the same passion as me, someone who dares to tell me right into my heart, someone whom i see that she reali cares n love her people n she reali respect n protect her leader very much *11 claps*.Pearline, jia you! you go gal!

came across this mail which is very meaningful n interesting. hope you guys enjoyed it!

entitled:Words can Heal and Words can Harm.

Words are very important. Words can heal and words can harm. Words can hurt grievously and for a long time. The tongue can bless and the tongue can curse. It is very important for us to control our words and tame our tongue when we are angry. Many times, when we are angry we say the most atrocious things. We forget ourselves and become indifferent to what we say. We blast the other person without mercy, although we may not mean those words. But words once spoken cannot be taken back and it takes a long time to forgive and forget. We have to exercise self-control. Many couples are particularly prone to such outbursts when they get mad. But it is not an easy thing to control our tongue when we are provoked, boiled over with anger or have outburst of wrath. It is at such time that we have to learn to hold our tongue and to remain silent. If we can't tame our tongue, we have to take a break or go for a walk to cool off. It is much easier to control the words before the blow-up than during the explosion.

Uncontrollable words spoken in anger can have devastating effect. Angry words, that are used unthinkingly, such as "I don’t care," "I can’t be bothered," "I don’t need you," or "you can go to hell" cause pain and feelings of rejection. They give rise to insecurity. The unmeant and foolish words contain full of deadly poison and can play havoc in the mind. The unruly words get churned over for hours on end and create their worst mischief in a difficult relationship. It can take a very long time to forgive what was said. Let us learn to turn away from angry words before they leave our mouth and try to say healing words instead. Father Henri Nouwen said, "It is so important to choose our words wisely. When we are boiling with anger and eager to throw bitter words at our opponents, it is better to remain silent. Words spoken in rage will make reconciliation very hard. Choosing life and not death, blessings and not curses, often starts by choosing to remain silent or choosing carefully the words that open the way to healing." ("Bread for the Journey," Sept 5)

We must also be very careful that in our anger we do not label our children with ugly names such as fat, stupid, snake, pig, moron, 'kay-poh'(busy-body), useless, good for nothing. Such negative words can do harm to them for years to come! Henri Nouwen said, "When we say to someone, 'You are an ugly, useless, despicable person,' we might have ruined the possibility for a relationship with that person for life. Words can continue to do harm for many years." ("Bread for the Journey," Sept 5) Indeed, we do not want to spoil our relationship with our own precious children. We must always use words to build them up not words to knock them down. Be an encourager not a critic. They have enough people criticizing them but far too few approving and affirming them. So to help our children to fulfill their highest potential we should be their greatest ENCOURAGER. Encourage. Encourage. Encourage on every occasion.

St Paul advises us not to speak harmful words but to use helpful words, "Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you." (Ephesians 4:29 TEV) Also, don’t utter vulgar or obscene words, "Nor is it fitting for you to use language which is obscene, profane, or vulgar." (Ephesians 5:4 TEV) And no more immoral talks, jokes or gossips "Since you are God’s people, it is not right that any matters of sexual immorality or indecency or greed should even be mentioned among you...You may be sure that no one who is immoral, indecent, or greedy (for greed is a form of idolatry) will ever receive a share in the Kingdom of Christ and of God."(Ephesians 5:3,5 TEV) St Paul warns us not to quarrel so we are to "Remind our people of this, and give them a solemn warning in God’s presence not to fight with words. It does no good, but only ruins the people who listen...Keep away from profane and foolish discussions, which only drive people further away from God. Such teaching is like an open sore that eats away the flesh."(2 Timothy 2:14,16-17 TEV) He reiterates that we should "keep away from foolish and ignorant arguments; you know that they end up in quarrels. As the Lord’s servant, you must not quarrel. You must be kind toward all, a good and patient teacher, who is gentle as you correct your opponents, for it may be that God will give them the opportunity to repent and come to know the truth. And then they will come to their senses and escape the trap of the Devil, who had caught them and made them obey his will."(2 Timothy 2:22-26 TEV)

It is vitally important that we exercise our choice to speak helpful words wherever we are, particularly at home. As Henri Nouwen said, "Words can bring consolation, comfort, encouragement, and hope. Words can take away fear, isolation, shame, and guilt. Words can reconcile, unite, forgive, and heal. Words can bring peace and joy, inner freedom and deep gratitude. Words, in short, can carry love on their wings. A word of love can be one of the greatest acts of love." ("Bread for the Journey," June 22) When we choose to speak words of care, words of encouragement, words of praise, words of love, words of admiration, positive words---they uplift and give meaning to our lives. Everyday we need to give and receive words of encouragement, hope and joy. We then create an environment that is pleasant to be in and that gives us the confidence and courage to cope with our stressful life here and now. Henri Nouwen said, "When we say to our parents, children, or friends, 'I love you very much' or 'I care for you' or 'I think of you often' or 'You are my great gift,' we choose to give life.

"It is not always easy to express our love directly in words. But whenever we do, we discover we have offered a blessing that will be long remembered. When a son can say to his father, 'Dad, I love you,' and when a mother can say to her daughter, 'Child, I love you,' a whole new blessed place can be opened up, a space where it is good to dwell. Indeed, words have the power to create life." ("Bread for the Journey," Sept 6)

Often, we want to hear words such as, 'I’ve been thinking of you today', or 'I missed you,' or 'I wish you were here,' or 'I really love you.' It is not always easy to say these words, but such words can deepen our bonds with one another.

"Telling someone 'I love you' in whatever way is always delivering good news. Nobody will respond by saying, 'Well, I know that already, you don’t have to say it again!' Words of love and affirmation are like bread. We need them each day, over and over. They keep us alive inside." ("Bread for the Journey," Feb 12) "When we say, 'I love you,' and say it from the heart, we can give another person new life, new hope, new courage. When we say, 'I hate you,' we can destroy another person. Let’s watch our words." ("Bread for the Journey," Feb 11)

At the same time, we must be careful that we are sincere in our words because if we say, 'I love you,' without meaning it, then such words do more harm than good. But if these same words are spoken from the heart, they create new life. They give joy. They bring happiness. We have to make sure that our words are rooted from our heart.

To dwell in peace and joy, we have to learn from Jesus. As Henri Nouwen said, ”The words of Jesus can keep us erect and confident in the midst of the turmoil of the end-time. They can support us, encourage us, and give us life even when everything around us speaks of death. Jesus’ words are food for eternal life. They do much more than give us ideas and inspiration. They lead us into the eternal life while we are still being clothed in mortal flesh.

"When we keep close to the word of Jesus, reflecting on it, 'chewing' on it, eating it as food for the soul, we will enter even more deeply into the everlasting love of God." ("Bread for the Journey," Sept 20) So it is vitally essential for us to read the Bible, as, "Spiritual reading is food for our souls. As we slowly let the words of the Bible or a good spiritual book enter into our minds and descend into our hearts, we become different people. The Word gradually becomes flesh in us and transforms our whole being. Thus spiritual reading is a continuing incarnation of the divine Word within us. In and through Jesus, the Christ, God became flesh long ago. In and through our reading of God’s Word and our reflection on it, God becomes flesh in us now and makes us into living Christs for today.

"Let’s keep reading God’s Word with love and great reverence." ("Bread for the Journey," April 16)

Since love is proved by works and not words alone, "What we live is more important than what we say, because the right way of living always leads to the right way of speaking. When we forgive our neighbours from our hearts, our hearts will speak forgiving words. When we are grateful, we will speak grateful words, and when we are hopeful and joyful, we will speak hopeful and joyful words.

"When our words come too soon and we are not yet living what we are saying, we easily give double messages. Giving double messages--one with our words and another with our actions--makes us hypocrites. May our lives give us the right words, and may our words lead us to the right lives." ("Bread for the Journey," June 20)

Should we, then, keep quiet and not speak at all if we cannot live by what we say? No, said Henri Nouwen, 'Can we only speak when we are fully living what we are saying? If all our words had to cover all our actions, we would be doomed to permanent silence! Sometimes we are called to proclaim God’s love even when we are not yet fully able to live it. Does that mean we are hypocrites? Only when our own words no longer call us to conversion. Nobody completely lives up to his or her own ideals and visions. But by proclaiming our ideals and visions with conviction and great humility, we may gradually grow into the truth we speak. As long as we know that our lives always speak louder that our words, we can trust that our words will remain humble. ("Bread for the Journey," June 21)

Finally, we need to remind ourselves that all of us have a responsibility to share and pass on our unique experiences in life to our children and others by telling our stories, verbally or if possible, in writing. Henri Nouwen said "One of the arguments we often use for not writing is this: 'I have nothing original to say. Whatever I might say someone else has already said it, and better than I will ever be able to.' This, however, is not a good argument for not writing. Each human being is unique and original, and nobody has lived what we have lived. Furthermore, what we have lived, we have lived not just for ourselves but for others as well. Writing can be a creative and invigorating way to make our lives available to ourselves and to others.

"We have to trust that our stories deserve to be told. We may discover that the better we tell our stories the better we will want to live them." ("Bread for the Journey," April 29) Writing also helps us to touch base and clarify our thoughts for us to live our life more fully. "Writing can help us to concentrate, to get in touch with the deepest stirrings of our hearts, to clarify our minds, to process confusing emotions, to reflect on our experiences, to give artistic expression to what we are living, and to store significant events in our memories. Writing can also be good for others who might read what we write.

"Quite often a difficult, painful, or frustrating day can be 'redeemed' by writing about it. By writing we can claim what we have lived and thus integrate it more fully into our journeys. Then writing can become lifesaving for us and sometimes for others too."("Bread for the Journey," April 27)

i like the part "Words, in short, can carry love in their wings." i agree totally man. shall watch out wat i say from now on!anyway to this person. this special someone. i reali enjoyed being with you. together thru thick n thin i see you still loving me for who i am. this love you have for people is great. just wana tell you tt no matter wat happen, i promise i will be there for you. you wana hit, scold, cry out, joke, come to me. lastly, thank you for understanding me totally. i love you too. may God bless you in everyway.

eye lids are getting heavier but the spirit is so determined to read up the word. so i choose the latter. so where i read? instead of reading i did on this book called, "how to grow as a Christian". this book is awesome man. reali learnt alot.

anyway how is life? getting back on track. well, had a great talk with Liyan last nite. she challenged me to exercise more. to train up my stamina. wahahahha! i think it is high time already. so i decided to join the hip hop dance at the CC infront of my hse and from next week onwards go for morning walk with Jeff. hahhaa! will i last? no-body knws. haha. eager to see how much i will grow this time. a new start marks a more challenging life.

Hero by Mariah Carey

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

Chorus
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face your world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

Chorus

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In timeYou'll find the way

Chorus

this song came to me when i met Dawn today. this song was the song i presented during my graduation nite. it is rather meaningful rite? thanks Dawn. alot of ppl may be clueless y i did so but i believe God wants me to continue on too.

behind this smiley face,
hide a broken heart.
leaving scars tt seems impossible to heal,
a cry tt seems unheard.

no matter wat i done,
nothing seems to be rite.
no matter wat i said,
nothing sounds correct.

but it doesn't matter because
it is not abt I.. ..

it was you
stretching out your hand
to catch me
it was you
spreading your wings
to protect me
it was you
who bleed profusely
in order to save me.. ..
it was you.. Jesus.

my inner feelings. Lord, this is for you. thanks for everything.

Who Am I by Casting Crowns.

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wondering heart.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am I?
That the voice that calm the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am.
But because what of youve done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cuz I am yours. I am yours.

this song is.. ..man, i am speechless. heard tt this song was sang during X'mas ss which i miss coz of attachment. humps! anyway, reading 1 Thesselonians was great. thanks hannah for choosing such an encouraging book. was told by Him so many times abt love. gee..reali felt as though i was smack on the cheek. *ouch* but in any case, this time i wana walk with Him like nv before. Dawn, Eilton, Denice, Darren, Job, Georgia, Ken, Serene, CJ, gonna see you guys grow in the Lord like nv before! love you guys. ^_^