I am the bread of life

Dear friends and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ,

I write this post in Seattle, about an hour before my competition starts, and I just want to testify to the Lord's goodness and love in my life.

As i was having a relaxing breakfast in the hotel before case competition, one of my teammates pointed to a guy by the window, sitting by the counter, and said "isn't that guy reading a bible?" and I looked, and said, "yes he is.."

And that conversation led me to think, wow, this guy is meeting Jesus! That is what will really fill him to overflowing, to bring him peace that man cannot give, bread come down from heaven. (and i looked down at my measly but rather tasty blueberry and cheese bagel)

Also, i had thought that my team was drawn to begin the case at 1025, i.e. right after breakfast. However, it turned out that we were only starting at 1120. That meant that I had time to do QT! Once again, as so many times before, God is more faithful to MY prayer time than I am!

I returned to my room, and plugged on my headphones, and worshipped with a song, before using www.wau.org to do my readings for the day.

John 6:44 says "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him."

"Dear Lord, Thank you for your great love, faithfulness and peace that you bring to my life. I know that You are YAHWEH, the true God yesterday, today and forever. I worship You, bow down and call You Lord of my life.

I echo the psalmist in exalting, Praise our God O peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard, he has preserved our lives and prevented our feet from slipping. Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue. Praise be to God who has not rejected my prayer, or withheld his love from me! - Ps 66

The Sin of Efficiency

As i've been on a heavy schedule, I find myself multi-tasking to cope with the influx of demands on me.

For instance, I eat lunch and read newspapers at the same time, retrieve emails on my PDA with wireless SG as I walk to Kovan MRT and then read emails on the train ride to school, surf the web while chatting with others on the phone etc.

I strive to be efficient with the 24hrs God gives me daily. And I am extremely good at it.

But the sin comes when i allow this secular notion of multi-tasking that is founded upon the principle of efficiency to encroach on my spiritual life...

After i bathe at night, I always find myself standing in front of the fan in my room. I make the sign of the cross. I raise my right hand and palm toward heaven and pray. However the sin comes when, at the same time, I also hold the hair-dryer in my left hand - pointing the current of hot air at my damp hair so that i can immediately proceed to read/sleep after i pray.

It is very hard to find God in prayer with the drone of the hair dryer beside my ear. (You can try it.)

Where does prayer come from? Whether prayer is expressed in words or gestures, it is the whole man who prays.

But in naming the source of prayer, Scripture speaks sometimes of the soul or the spirit, but most often of the heart. According to Scripture, it is the heart that prays. If my heart is far from God because it is also concerned about saving time by drying my hair during prayer time, then my words of prayer of in vain.

This is thus one of my struggles for Lent 2008: to wholeheartedly focus my heart on God in prayer time.

Where I've been raised and trained heavily in the secular value of efficiency, I find it challenging to remind myself that silence/inactivity before the Lord is ironically one of the most 'efficient' thing I can do to gain spiritual progress.

-rhino 69-

Ode to Colin Kang - a life lived to the fullest

In loving memory of

Colin Kang
(1973-2007)

(i'm sorry Blogger isn't cooperating with me... will upload the photo when i can)

For a man who taught me what it was to trust in the Lord whole-heartedly and to continue to carry the cross and follow Jesus...

Thank you for teaching me so much...

Thank you for giving life to so many youth... u've done more than u'll ever know...

Thank you for the quick-wit and sharp remarks that crack us up - it has become a hallmark of urs that will be sorely missed...

Thank you for your generosity in time and effort...

Thank you for showing me what great food is...

Thank you for sharing your ups and downs in your journey ever so candidly...

Thank you for brightening up our lives with that light of Christ within you...

We will continue to dream the dreams u had, to envision the visions u saw, all for the glory of God.

Rest in peace - my brother, mentor, friend.

You are sorely missed.

Rhino 5

Freedom Reigns In His Place

I'm an aivd photographer, specializing in people and nature photography. I believe digital photography is one of the greatest inventions ever - it's cheap and easily multiplicative. I believe my role as photographer is important - I capture memories, document history, and hold the ability to bring history alive again.

The following photos are thanksgiving to ZJ for always showing me the face of God. These photos may have been taken in the past, but to me, they are as good as the present. Enjoy the photos, sung to the tune of Freedom Reigns In This Place.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom...

Freedom reigns in this place...

Showers of mercy and grace...

Falling on every face...

There is freedom...

Lift your eyes to Jesus, there is freedom...

'Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.' - 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

-rhino 69-

The Law of Sacrifice

Dear friends,

Ever since I said 'Yes' to service in the core team of ZJ, things have been moving at break-neck speed and i haven't had time to blog.

My last blog post was probably posted about June 2006, before I commenced my first term in SMU. Since then, my way of sharing Christ with others has been via word of mouth - testimonies.

In the past months, however, with the ascendancy of IT as a driving force for youth ministry, I have decided to make time to blog and return to fulfilling the original focus of the God's Rhinos blog - the God's Rhinos blog is a journal to share my ups and downs with God for all the world to see, so that the glory of God may be advanced.

Today, I would like to share about the Law of Sacrifice. The Law of Sacrifice pertains to you if you: 1) are a youth ministry leader, 2) are serving in youth ministry, 3) call yourself a disciple of Christ.

The Law of Sacrifice especially pertains to you if you are a youth leader.

In recent months, I have been counting the costs of youth ministry. The costs seem to outweight the benefits.

First, I've lost touch with my TJC classmates since they always meet up during youth ministry time and have given up calling me cos I'll always say that i gotta be in church. Second, I've lost one year of CCA involvement in SMU. Third, I've lost a lot of free time for myself.

God always seem to take pleasure in stretching my limits. I wonder how much contortion can my body, mind and soul take.

Calculating the costs made me discouraged. I prayed, and asked God, 'Why am I in youth ministry? Why do you make me lose so much when i try my best for your community? What do you want of me?'

The image of Jesus and the Cross floated in front of me.

I remembered that even Jesus, was discouraged. Before His cruxificion, with a heart full of anguish, Jesus prayed and even asked God to take away the cup of suffering He was about to receive if possible.

Till His last breath, Jesus persevered because He was obedient to the Father's will.

Right now, because of peace in my heart, because I have the professional skills that allow me to serve powerfully in ZJ core team, because of a sense of loyalty to ZJ... these are confirmation that it is God's will for me to be where i am in youth ministry now.

Like Jesus, I may be discouraged. But I am striving to be obedient to the Father's will.

To all of you out there who may be a youth leader, involved in youth ministry, or want to be a true disciple of Christ, we will always need to sacrifice many personal choices in order to make a definite choice for God.

Therefore, let us strive to seek God's will in our lives. Let us strive to be obedient servants. Let us be united in prayer.


Meanwhile, you may start a prayer chain by dropping your prayer intentions in the tag board or in the comments page and i'll offer it up on your behalf at weekly ZJ intercessory sessions. Of course, it'll be great if can intercede for my steadfastness towards seeking God's will in my live! Onward in Jesus!

-rhino 69-

the continual struggle of Ministry

It's been about a year since i took the leap of faith and decided to heed His call to jump into the deep by leaving the comforts of the ZJ fold and to help out with Post Con. Since then, it's been one ride that has been awfully bumpy, leaving my still very much uncomfortable, still feeling that i'm fish out of water, having to plan for an entire year's sessions and to help a group of youth to find their identity in God. No longer could i hide behind my piano or the microphone and be comfy with leading/doing worship - rather i felt increasingly called to reach out and put myself in the shoes of my fellow brothers and sisters in the new community, and try to journey with them through this tumultuous time of their life journey known as "adolescence".

Having seen the change in identity to Acts II and the subsequent high drop out rate of the community, it is really tough not to feel more than a little disheartened by this. I still wonder where God is leading the community towards... was i sent here to help see the "successful" closure of the grp? or is the current malaise of the community reflective of the current malaise in my own spiritual journey?

And it's really tempting to believe the latter, though it would mean that beneath it all, i have over-relied on myself in doing what He has commissioned me to do.

It's really hard to swallow - seeing the young ones choosing to leave the group and look for fulfillment and meaning in their lives in the world rather than to journey with the flock. It's tough to see them exercise the free will that His love has provided, AND not try to impose what i firmly believe in on them. It's really really tough to still continue to avail myself to these who would in all probability seek the "Church's" help when the maelstrom, pandemonium and bedlam that the world can throw at them removes the ground from under their feet and they find themselves in the quagmire of sh*t.

So... sometimes i just wonder why would i subject myself to this continual struggle in ministry? shouldn't i just move on with my life that peers of my age have done - chase the world, success, money, house, love etc.? why should i even bother abt the youth that are probably over-sheltered in their lives, and shd be allowed to struggle in the deep end of the pool themselves, and learn from the sch of hard knocks on their own? after all, almost EVERYONE in the world has survived it, so why can't they? Shouldn't i learn to live and let live?

In all honesty, i wish i could. i wish i didn't have a conscience... i wish i wasn't somewhat intuitive to His movements and promptings in my life... i wish i was left alone with my soccer ball, PS2, free movie passes (ya right)... and let me live a life... a life of abject content. I guess it's this oxymoron that "did" me in - i can't. i may live a contradiction... but i cannot consciously leave Him alone. thus, i continue with the struggle of Ministry... which is paralleled to my own spiritual struggle. i'm doing what His Son commanded us to do.

God, i'm trying to carry my cross. Don't desert me ya.

Rhino5

The Beauty of His Creation

I really wanted to post this reflection up since I came back from Vietnam more than a month ago, but never got down to doing it cos of the myriad of reasons that I've shared in the previous post. Nonetheless, I don't think it's ever to late.

Got these photos while on the plane to and from Vietnam. Wasted many many of my friend Alwin's shots for these. So, hopefully like me, you guys can appreciate these. Enjoy.

You Do All Things Well

You made it all
Said "Let there be"
And there was all that we see
The sound of Your Voice,
The works of Your Hands
You do all things well...
You do all things well...
You do all things well...

by Chris Tomlin (Chorus)

Rhino5