I liked this interpretation of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13 which I saw on someone else's blog. I remember reading this at a friend's church wedding when I was 16, 12 years ago! I was standing on the church pulpit, nervous as can be. To this day it remains one of my favourite verses.

Love is patient,
True love is unconditional, that is, it does not depend on the attributes or lack thereof of the person loved, therefore, it is willing to give as much time necessary, and as much space as necessary for that person to grow.

love is kind. It does not envy,
Love seeks to give others something of benefit for their welfare, and consequently, rejoices not envies when they do benefit.

it does not boast, it is not proud.
To lift one's self up in reference to others leaves no room for graceful love.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
To act inappropriately, shamefully is not in accordance with true love. Love never seeks it's own gratificaiton but rather the interests of others.

is not not easily angered,
Selfishness seeks to manipulate others by stimulating certain selfish emotions. Love will not do this to others, nor will it let it happen to itself.

it keeps no record of wrongs,
Forgiveness. Let it go. Bitterness is the acid. You are the container. Get rid of it or it will kill you.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth;
Love does not somehow gloss over things that are going to be hurtful. True love
originates from the truth.

It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
If love really is unconditional, it will hold any weight, face any doubt, persist through hopelessness, and last any trial

Love never fails...
If it did, would it be love?

And now these three remain: faith, hope, love. But the greatest of these is love
Someday, faith will not be needed, for we will see God. Hope will not be needed, for when everything is fulfilled, there is no need for hope. But love, yes, to it there will be no end. If it did, it wouldn't be love.

-bibe-guide-online.com

I saw this recently at a coffeeshop in Bangkok, of all places..

By H. Jackson Brown Jr.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.

6. Be generous.

7. Have a grateful heart.

8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.

9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.

12. Commit yourself to quality.

13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.

14. Be loyal.

15. Be honest.

16. Be a self-starter.

17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

20. Take good care of those you love.

21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

My life is so different in Singapore compared to my life in the US. I am still adjusting to life back home. Today I thought about my past life and was quite sad. I miss the USA. I miss the big roads, the cool weather (Spring and Summer...NOT Winter), the ability to drive off someplace fun and get out of the city. I miss the space - Singapore feels very stiffled. I miss the shopping (Nordstroms!) Online shopping. I miss the culture - Americans are more open, laid back and friendlier. I miss my ex-coworkers. Even the food. Despite all the options I have at NUH Kopitiam, today I wanted a Club Mex Wrap and chocolate chip coffee cake from Einsteins at JHH Cafeteria. Nowadays, I'm on the lookout for places that sell good salads.

I have been having pretty bad insomnia ever since coming home, which means deep down I'm really bothered by something. Brings back memories of my 3rd year of college where I was literally a walking zombie. Only now I don't want to be half asleep while dispensing drugs to patients. The insomnia affects my mood too, and I tend to be irritable and moody throughout the day.

I rarely go out anymore, prefering to stay at home in the comfort of my air-conditioned room. I'm not used to the humidity and the crowds. Therefore, I shop less and spend way, wayyy less. I don't really like the clothes in Singapore, and my favourite US stores are not accessible here. No more Nordstroms Rack, Neiman Marcus Last Call, Off Saks, Anthropologie, Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, J.Crew, BCBG. The shoes at my favorite shoe stores Aldo and Nine West tend to cost double here. No more free shipping when I buy stuff online. Designer brands were affordable in the US, but not in Singapore.

The most difficult thing for me so far is having to live alone. OK fine, I live with my mum right now. But for the past...what, 7 years? give or take a few years in between, I have shared my life with someone. I had a best friend beside me all the time to hear my grumbles and give me hugs when I was sad. For now, its just me and Twitter. I am thinking about starting a private diary before this gets out of hand.

PS - I am really quite fustrated with both the Singapore Pharmacy Council and the Maryland Board of Pharmacy. SPC wants a wall hanging of my license and does not like that my middle name is just an "X" and wants me to change my name on my MD license...MDBOP has all these little procedures that I have to do. They have to mail me forms, I have to sign and mail it back, then they will mail me what I want. All snail mail from the US. I have had things lost in the mail and had to repeatedly request for them. Its also really had to speak to the lady in charge (who is a b****) and get documents mailed up and down. This has been going on since mid-December.

Back to blogging, back in Singapore, back to the 'real world'. My bumming life is about to officially end when I start my new job this Wednesday. This is the first time that I am not looking forward to starting a new job. This is because 1)I know that working life in Singapore is going to suck, 2)I had too much fun the past 2 months.

December was wonderful. It was Christmastime and there were parties galore! Met a lot of my old friends and had a fab old time. It felt similar to those times when I came home from the US during school holidays and squeezed as much fun into as little time as possible. Some days, I felt pangs of regret about coming home for good. I really missed a lot of things in the US. It was good that I came back during this festive time of the year or else I think I'll be quite depressed indeed.

January was even more wonderful and I have awesome pictures to show for it. I went to Vietnam, Thailand and Japan. The Thailand/Japan trip was one of my best trips ever. It felt like a very laid back trip, but we saw and did a lot, although I was quite sick throughout the entire trip, coughing everywhere. We spent all our money on yummy food...eating multiple meals many days..I didn't even shop in Bangkok!

Flying home to Singapore was horrible. It was a really bad flight and I got home all disoriented.

Chinese New Year has gotten less and less enjoyable. Both my parents 'escaped' overseas again this year to avoid meeting the family. We do less visits and I get less ang paos. It is also starting to get really annoying when there is so much pressure to loose weight and to get married. My grand aunt told me "If you find somebody who wants to marry you, you better do it". What the heck. Can't a woman be happily single and left alone?I dread to think what will happen if I'm still not married by 30.

Frankly, I don't see the facination with marriage. Marriage is only useful if you want to have babies or buy a HDB flat. On Facebook, it seems the most fashionable new accessory this decade is a new baby. Yes, I hope to find that special someone one day, who will convince me to get married and have kids (maybe). But for now, please leave me alone. I love being single and want to prolong it for as long as possible. And I am really choosy and would rather wait for the right person than to jump in with the rest.

Despite having no job, I find myself very occupied. There are all these things to do and complete. Like edit pictures, study for my new job, and DO MY TAX RETURN. I've also signed up for 8 hours of dance class every week, from Hip Hop to Jazz to Tango, and of course, Salsa. I have not been going out much anymore, prefering to stay at home with my laptop and books than to go out into the crowds and hot sun.

My grandaunt from San Francisco is staying here for 2 weeks. I did not quite appreciate this last minute decision of my mum's. She tells me this the day before my grandaunt comes, and then she runs off to Thailand with her boyfriend. So now I have to single-handedly look after the old lady. Not fun.

Do I sound too cynical and jaded? I've been having a lot of anxiety and bad thoughts lately. A combination of long-distance relationship anxiety + post trip depression + new job jitters. I can't sleep at night. I really hope this gets better soon.

Sorry dudes, no incentive to post pictures up here much anymore since there are so many on Facebook...