MAPs

i just spoke to christine. i didnt realise how much ive missed her till i actually spoke to her, finally after 2 long months with her being away on Doulos. i suddenly feel reinvigorated. like, ive got a new burst of zest for life. no no, she aint my drug. i just feel different, somehow, for some reasons unexplained. i feel that my life is pretty much back to what it was. maybe its the weekend that jolted this whole, yay gloria's back bit. i'd rather think its because i have my best friend back though.

hmm.. the weekend was very well spent. gracie needed help to bring her sunday school kids up to JB for a canoe expedition. or at least mom thought it was better to have someone a little less scattered-brained. haha! i had mixed emotions about going. i really did want some company. ben or jiawen or looloo for that matter. but everyone had their own commitments. i know it would have been a good trip, i just wanted to have someone to share it with. but ive realised that companionship really isnt a must have. i think if i had someone with me, i wouldnt have enjoyed it the way i did without anybody, any comfort zone.

we took a bus into JB. i've only done that once in my life. so it was different. we all met at Kranji, and we trouped over, the 5 kiddos, gracie and i. i mean, i've watched these kids grow up. i even know their parents. their siblings might be my age or older. so its not that they're foreign to me, ive just never found the time or ever bothered for that matter to really know them! and given a situation like that, what better opportunity it was aint it?

i was sleepy, a little grouchy and lethargic. dragged my feet around through JB's huge ass new custom. my goodness. they should build travelators in that one. its like..5 times the size of Singapore's woodlands checkpoint. HUGEEEE..... and quite impresssive i must say. Heng Kai, the owner of MAPs (Ministering through Adventure Programmes) picked us up. maybe i was too used to the commercialism of travelling. i was expecting a mini van or an MPV. what came to us was a proton and a kancil. haha. i like.. truly malaysian. it doesnt get any better. we split into 2 cars and headed off about 30mins away from the customs to the shop. grabbed prata along the way. awesome prata i must add. and went upstairs to get settled and to prep for the whole trip. we had a good time of ice breakers and got to know the other 2, justine and venice who was coming along while hengkai introduced the mission of this adventure company.

we had to waterproof EVERYTHING. they had these HUGE dry bags, large enough to fit like..5 bens in them. we packed a heap of things, from camping gear to tents to cooking stuff, to food and clothes. and off we went! drove through a palm plantation and right down to the river banks. a good 30mins away. geared up and off we went! i thought we were going for a kayak expedition but nooooooooo... this was really a canoe.. more like a rubber dinghy. hahahah. hilarious. 3 to a boat with little oars and just paddle. hahaha. its wayyy more difficult to steer and paddle straight!! then it started to pour! so heavily that we couldnt even see past the next 20m in the distance.. everyone looked so disappointed. worried that the entire thing might have to be called off. but thank God! we went indoors for tea and it just stopped miraculously. yayyyyyyyyy!!!!!! the girls insisted that they'd stay together in a boat. so gracie justine and i took the other.. hahah.. hilarious. we all rowed around in circles for a darn long time. hahaha. so we swapped around and finally found the perfect fit. hehehe.

after like..forever, a good long 4 hours or so.. we finally reached shore. with that being said, we did get some help from Hengkai who dragged us back the last part of the journey if not we would have never made it before dark. haha. setting up tents reminded me of zoo camps. just this was truly jungle style. we washed up with some yellow water rain catchment thing, got dry and cooked dinner with messtins and what nots with bugs flying in every direction. food was good. haha. i still love cornbeef. its almost comfort food. haha. the guys tried to set up a campfire, stealing petrol from the boat, but it didnt last long. there wasnt dry wood to burn since everything was dripping wet from the storm earlier.

we had a good time of sharing in the tent and even took turns to do sentry duty just in case we had some jungle dudes stealing things from us. or our canoes or speedboat even. too much to risk. haha. sunday morning sunrise was awesome. we cooked breakfast and pee-ed in the bushes. had early morning devotions, and had worship with a ukulele that we brought along. coool man, i should really bring the ukulele along for dive trips. hahaha. it was really quite fun. hahaha. cleared up and headed back. paddling back seemed easier.. thats always the case aint it. it did remind me of sabah however, this river thing, out in the open with nothing but the sun on your back and wildlife staring at you straight in the face. Gods creation never fails to astound me. we stopped over at midway and drifted for abit while having lunch. dragged a couple of the kids down into the water. and it was fun! haha. simplicity at its best, really.

Heng Kai asked me to pray about it and see whether if its Gods direction for me to take on doing ministering to the youths through adventure. i mean, its really a gloria kinda thing. i really do enjoy roughing it out. and i love working with young people, cos when they get stupid, its funny. when adults get stupid, or are stupid, it urks the hell out of me. haha, drastic i know. but its true. i have no patience to deal with people who have no common sense.

maybe thats where Searth's direction should be headed. i dont know. i think we should pray about it alot and see what really comes out of this. we've been saying this more often than not, a lot more recently ive realised, that God truly has his purposes, for letting things happen the way it did, or for putting people in your life to steer you, like the rudder, like the paddle in the canoe, back to the way that he had first intended. you dont have to necessary listen or follow. you can ride with the currents and steer off course, which usually seems to be the easier option. but God will send his people nonetheless.. whetehr you'd like it or not. and he will get you back somehow. afterall, when He feels distant, look who has moved.

i cant wait to meet up with christine. i feel like ive got so much on my to-do list i dont quite know where to start... time to quit rambling and get moving. :p


gearing up, justin and i pumping the canoe up..


and off they went, first boat in the water... until....


it started to pour insanely!! and everyone had to turn back. look at Verra's face (first girl) she looks terrified. hahahah.

Aaron's shoes after being in the water for a mere 5 mins. hurhur..

woohoo!!

the girls peeing by the shore after a long 3 hour paddle. hahaha.

boats upshore at the campsite..

dinner! and the guys tried to make a huge campfire..

dinner was goood :)

lights out people. in tents it was..

sardines for breakfast..

cable tower while paddling back..

group photo! Verra holding our adventure puzzle we scribbled on to commerate the event. yay!

oh brother

I don’t know if I’ve been more short fused than usual, but I honestly felt that my brother could have used a tad more tactfulness when he spoke earlier on today. Even on the entire trip, his words and actions just sometimes urked the hell out of me. I mean, he’s still the guy I look up to, the guy who brought the guy out of Gloria. Who made me who I am today, the interest in photography, in weird strange creatures. The very same guy who has played a role, a big role in my upbringing. But its just different now. Somehow.

He can be such a Singaporean parent sometimes. Especially when it comes to animals. Him talking about monkeys having rabies and childlocking me in the car when we drove past the macaques, refusing to let me wind down the windows for some pictures. His comments when we saw the red-eared at the turtle sanctuary. Or when I shrieked, ahh! A civet cat! When we drove back to the resort and he went, yah, the culprit for SARS. Like seriously. I was way more interested in seeing that cutie out in the wild and he was stricken with stereotyped narrow-mindedness. Urgh! what stupidity sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I think my brothers a very smart man. But seriously, think before you speak. Use what God gave you a little better. I might respect you a little more.

And when his daughter started to freak at the strange looking dogs we had at the kampong, he was like.. go kick the dog! Don’t worry, papa will punch the dogs for you. Do you honestly want to teach your kid things like that? Come on!

And then he kept going on and on about how dangerously I was driving just because I overtook him at one point. It was so frustrating driving behind him on convoy. He kept braking at the slightest things. So I sped up and sped off. And when I didn’t realise I had a police up my ass and didn’t make he way, he called me inexperienced and that I wasn’t alert at all and shouldn’t be driving. Just one incident strikes me off entirely. Fine. You’re the greatest. You’ve always been.

And then over lunch, I was labeled the worst of the lot. That I am always late. I’m apparently the best at it because I never do make it on time for family dinners at home. Has it ever crossed his mind that maybe I just don’t want to be there. they were laughing and joking about it the entire time. It didn’t tickle a single nerve in my body. I just sat there pretending to be engrossed with the sport diving magazine I was reading, shrug and went, whatever you think I am, I am.

I’ve been soooo irritable lately. I need to breathe. I think this trip to Manado will really do me some good. To really get away. Sunand mentioned about recognizing opportunities when it presents itself. I think I do recognize it, I just don’t try hard enough at seizing it. God open doors and has been again and again, I just don’t walk thru it, for some strange reason I cannot explain. Think about it, the moment I tendered, I see an ad in the papers for Nat Geo, the perfect job that I’ve always wanted. Then a scuba diver job at underwater world. A marketing exec job at the Tourism of Western Australia. Marketing exec at Sports Council. It’s endless! And what do I do? Sleep it off, not respond to its knocking at all. All because I’m unmotivated and unwilling to budge. I need a breakthrough! I need to breathe, take a step back and think and really decide what I want for myself this time. I need to reflect and turn my thoughts into action. How philosophical am I becoming. Gah. Maybe Logos to the Carribean will really do me some good. Hide and run away Gloria, why don’t you. Sigh.. guide me Lord. Kick me in the ass harder this time. I need to start budging quick.

solitude

I couldn’t get to sleep last night. I bet I’ve tossed and turned for a good hour or two. My brain was on an overdrive. Thoughts were racing thru and it was tiring. I’ve never had a problem with snoozing, but last night was hard. It was just…different.

It really isn’t so much of pre-jitters of getting back to reality, to face nothingness, of not having anything to look forward to, to not having an office to get back to. It really wasn’t much of that. I don’t know, unexplained problems that maybe even my head is unaware of. I need a breather, I really do. And I need someone to breathe with me too..

Everyone got up for tennis at 7am this morning. I snuggled back in and groaned… ITS A MONDAY…. I didn’t have shoes to play tennis with, and flopping around in slippers could kill my knees. Id rather archery or Frisbee, so I buried my face back into the pillow while the rest trooped off to seize the day.

I sat by the breakfast table, hiding my face yet again in the sport diving magazine I brought along. Good call Gloria, magazines are great cover ups. Mom visited and had breakfast with us and was asking the rest whether I was so quiet all along the entire trip. Mei gu just replied, oh, she’s become a cool girl. She never does talk anymore. Haha. Well done. I’m quite liking this new profile. Id rather take quiet walks on the beach, grab a book or write and rattle on endlessly than to socialize. I know mom knows something isn’t right. It’s a mother instinct thing, and she’s been probing but my mono-worded replies drives her insane. Lets just see how long her patience would last.

I’ve morphed into a moodless creature with absolute zero motivation to do anything at all. Sigh, I want the old Gloria back. Someone send the troops and search for her quick, before she takes of and goes on a run again. And by then, it'll be too late….

Damai Laut . Pangkor . Kampong Cina . Sitiawan . Malaysia

Its been a rather good trip thus far. I mean, not that I was honestly dreading being here. In fact, I really do love coming back to my dad’s old village. They are the only relatives I do not mind meeting up with. Cousins I’ve grew up with over holidays. So that always spelt fun in my dictionary growing up as a kid. I remember chasing the dogs, prepping our fighting cocks for fights, catching live frogs for fishing, fighting spiders/ants, picking up chicken eggs, catching beetles, lizards and moths to throw at the girlier girls. Or running around the mango farm plucking mangoes while bumping our way thru the mud tracks on the 4wheel drive. It was good fun. And I wouldn’t trade it for anyone else’s city life childhood. I guess I was just being edgy, pms-y. more so than I’ve actually liked to be. The whole getting thrown out of birdpark bit and having to say goodbye wasn’t that great a thing to do. But I’m certain God has His plans. And it sure is showing bit by bit everyday.

We took a long drive up to Sitiawan, a tiny little town near Ipoh. Well, nearing Lumut and Pangkor Island if you’ve actually heard of it. It took us a good 8 hours to get here. And that was a fast ride already. We ditched the mother into my brothers car so she wouldn’t scream when we sped. Hitting a good constant speed of 160km/hr and not feeling it was quite something. If we’ve left it to my parents to drive up, we’d probably reach at 8pm instead. So yay for that. I never knew the altis was capable of handling speeds like that. Even up to 180km/hr/ I’ve finally understood the thrills of racing. Scary but exhilarating. Haha. At least I didn’t have screaming passengers to deal with. Everyone slept like a baby. Hurhur..

I didn’t remember Sitiawan to be that beautiful. Or Laut for that matter. It faces the sea with little mountains in the backdrop. All I could think of when I got here was…OOOHH…can we dive dive dive? You cant blame me, really. Glistening waters, with a gorgeous blue sky. Who can resist. Tell me who..

If I had known that we, as in the kids, are gonna be on our own while the parents drift off 30mins away in another little town called Teluk Intan to preach, I would have been wayyyy happier. I was lamenting endlessly on Friday morning when we left saying that the headlines for the day should have been mama ngoi’s been captured! Not Mas Selamat. I’m evil, I know. But sometimes, we could really use some alone time away from the nagging. I do love them heaps, but the ears need rest.

I think I could laze a week away here. Feeding my face with Nat Geo and the sea and a thousand of things to do. Having played golf and tennis every morning for the past 2 days, I could see myself doing it for a week..at least. Till I get bored and would want to move back to chasing chickens and what nots. Haha.

We drove back to the old house back at the kampong. Its soooooooooo different now. So many have sold their land to developers. It used to be rubber plantations, trees, trees and more trees and just one house. Now its concrete, road, land, brick houses back to back. Semi-detaches. Gah! Urbanization! What horror! Now our place is the only lone standing kampong house with chickens and dogs still roaming the front gate. Oh no…. time to play catch up. But but but… its nicer like that… L

We visited my grandparents grave. Pop got flowers and we cleared the area. Huge ass grave I must say. We have our names engraved on it, the grandchildren they’ve left behind. Something I’ve never noticed till yesterday. Spooky bananas, having your name engraved on a tombstone. But it is rather cool. I dug out the wasps nest that was stuck onto the grave and killed the half-developed wasps. Quite cool, some were half developed, some were almost due. Very very interesting though I felt a little..just a little bit bad about killing these buggers. But but but.. cool nonetheless.

We went out to the back and plucked some coconuts and giant jumbu. Uber sweet I tell you. And went out for a really good seafood dinner at this open air restaurant which they’ve built on our land far out at the back. And since we were the landlords, food was soooo cheap. A table of 10 with 12 dishes and we paid RM100. hahaha. Lovely.

We visited the old church and wanted to check the museum they’ve built next to the church out. Apparently called the Museum of Sitiawan. Too bad for us, it was closed. But I figured going back to the old home served as a good enough Ngoi Museum of Sitiawan already. All the old pictures of all the cousins stuck on the wall. From my dads generation of marriages to our baby pictures, graduation pictures, family photos and even to my brothers wedding picture. Now its time for Natty’s picture to go up too. Yay. May the ngoi legacy live on. Haha.

I cant wait to check the turtle sanctuary out, a pity that the turtle breeding isn’t in season but it’ll do. Speaking of which, leslie called when we were driving up here and he was like..well.. uh..gloria, you’ve got 99.9% chance of wining the competition. I was like…WHA THWAT WHATHWHAWTHWHATHWHATH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLLLLLLLLLY??? Then he was like..ya, I’ve got just one question for you. I’m like..oh shit. I hope it isn’t a toughie. And he went, are you willing to share the bathroom with William Tan? LIKE HELL YEAHH!!! Whatever goes man! To dive in Manado for 8 days for freeee??? BRING IT ONNNN!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I went a tad too berserk in the car.. everyone was wondering what the hell I was screaming about. That and the fact that I was at the wheel. Hahaha. But YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! This is just about the best retrenchment ever yet. Hahahah. Thank God!