Bring me to Manado

in shades of blue unimaginable, as the sea meets the sky
i marvel at its beauty, and wonder how it'll look thru a fisheye
with strobes and arms and some McApple pie,
i stumble clumsily, "HELP! SOMEBODY!" i scream a confused reply

as much as i have been, in the water and out
too much to see, theres really no time to pout.
with macros and wide angles, a yawning frog fish too.
grab me a camera, we've got pictures to brew!

with the turn of tail, or the clasps of a clam
the jets of a cuttle, the gobies lament.
the schools of juvi chevrons, all waiting to flee.
from the intrusion of my canon, my flash and my pee.

i wished i was better, so there'll be more shrimps my camera can flirt
i beg you to tell me how, i'd even grab you coffee and iron your shirts
we'll have stories to share, of the birdpark, the place where i work
of this wonderous galaxy, the brilliance of nature and its quirks.

just like how nagging comes with grannies and mothers,
or how jelly always partners mr. peanut butter
gloria comes all packed with fun and laughter,
trust me, shes an all naturale underwater.

she'll absorb like a sponge and throw questions in millions
she's hardly a pro so your heart cannot chicken
or she'll sit on you like when shes playing rugby and tackle you down
or you could choose to be nice, and she'll promise she'll never make you frown.

so bring it on mister, take up the challenge if you dare,
of bringing gloria to manado, without tying her to a chair
gag her if you must, if your heart starts to fret
but it will be one decision you'll make all year, with absolute zero regrets

post-it treasures

so i'm clearing my office desktop up. gone are the days where every document was important. i havent clicked the delete button as often as i have, today. and look what i stumbled upon on a hidden post-it note on my desktop. haha! how random. written on a gloomy monday after my first dive with the ixus.

in shades of blue unimaginable as the sea meets the sky.
i marvel at the endless beauty as i humbly reply.
mighty are your works, my soul can never fathom,
the extent of your creations, this, i see, is only a fraction of your kingdom.

uncomparable i stand, with my canon in hand.
desperately eager to capture way more than i can.
though i try and i try, as i tremble in fright
never wanting to forget how my heart ignites

with the turn of tail, or the clasps of a clam
the jets of a cuttle, the gobies lament.
the schools of juvi chevrons, all waiting to flee.
from the intrusion of my canon, my flash and my pee.

what more can i ask for, in this wonderous galaxy
of creatures of all shapes and sizes, from dayang to bali
no matter the distance, the sea my soul misses
the incessant need to dive back in right this instant.

irreplaceble

i thought i was done. i thought i was ok. i thought i have quit whining and have churned my sorrow and resentment into hate and motivation to move on. but its oh so difficult. why must the process be so hard! why!

i finally got back to work after convincing myself that i do not want to go back. i've been finding every reason in this world not to be there. from MCs to urgent leaves, to whatever my brain is capable of churning out. so i managed to pull off a week from work. i filled my time with everything under the sun. everything non-bird related. i winced at every birdpark bus that went by. every Tourist Map of Singapore stand or ASA brochure stand sent shivers down my spine. its tricky working in a tourist attraction and not getting reminded of it in some way or another. i receeded into the rambai's comfort zone and refused to budge. id rather spend every minute there even if it meant doing housework. i really did think i was done, that i had gotten it out of my system.

BUT! i got to work today, dreading it at first. was greeted by the usual hellos and good mornings. i got my morning hug from chubs. everything was going fine and dandy. boring even. facebook started to bore the hell out of me. clearing mails wasnt all that enticing either. lunch was a little dreadful and i didnt quite had the mood to eat even though today's sambal fish looked darn appetising. and then rizal reminded me that its Ben & Jerry's free cone day! so we had more than 1. i shant reveal the hundreds we had.. so we had more than 1. hahaha.

we went around with mas in the clubcar. went to count the owls at world of darkness while the duo wall danced and did their own rendition of the pussy cat dolls. we went for the starling feeding and basically spent the afternoon chasing the birds and having coffee at dimbulah. then it hit me. then everything started to fall back into place. and i resumed straight back into my comfort zone. its like homeground to me. its more than a workplace. much more than any 'office' can offer.

im so brutally torn. i hate the fact that i HAVE to leave. im still so much in love with the park. ive tried convincing myself otherwise. trust me i have. to the point where i thought that was it. but no! nostalgia floods straight back in, it overwhelms you, it eats into your soul and never does let you go. why! i cant look at rizal and not see the sadness in his eyes even tho he's screeching to the next song that comes to mind. i cant look at van and know shes not going to have someone who knows exactly what shes going thru. who is she to bitch to with current colleagues like that. i cant run ard the park with mas or xiaoyi and do random things with.

i mean, where on earth would you have someone talk to you with a dove clasped in one hand and a saw bit in the other. its the little random day to day things like these that i will miss the most. the place that ive grown too deeply in love with. a place that is irreplaceble in my heart, my comfort zone, my petra.

please God, make it easier.. please..

Kota Kinabalu

Odd. The past 2 nights ive been getting into bed by 10ish 11, then waking up at insane hours to do random stuff like these. Gah. My system is messed up. :(

We’re finally in kk. Its been a longgg journey thus far. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the company, but im just not as crazy as I usually am for trips. Sigh. I need my comfort zone. The guys are starting to annoy the hell out of me with their oh so childish squabbles and remarks. Its stupid. I don’t see why they cant compromise on things sometimes. Thank God for Xiaoyi and faith. If not, things would have been a lot worse.

We managed to do the canopy walk thing in the morning. It was good! But short. And quite stupid if you think about it. I think im still sore about having to spend 2 days at boring poring hot springs. The place was generally rather disappointing, and it didnt warrant 2 days of my precious holidays there. :( but whats done is done I guess. At least it wasn’t TOOO bad.
We ate at the same café yet again. We had all 3 meals there. funny. The lady's really sweet. Foods decent, and decently priced too. And the entire little poring town was infested with beetles and cicadas for some strange reason. It was quite cool. At least the bugs were pretty. Like I said, poring was a macro paradise. Then again, the entire sabah is. Soo many little, no..giant bugs and stuff. Xiaoyi and I went a tad crazy with all the shooting. Haha, the only good thing is that everyone is quite the photographer on this trip. Armed with 3 DSLRs and 4 compacts, we’re pretty much well prepared for a showdown with any interesting creature.

we trashed around in the waterfall for a bit. It was freezing. And it kept fogging up the camera lens. Poor baby. Azhar kinda kicked faiths camera into the water. I think I would have died if that was my camera instead. Oh my. But faith took it really well. Azhar on the other hand, well.. I don’t know. Annoying.

We got our transport back to ranau, bid goodbye to everyone and left. Hitched a ride to kk from some little trashy place they call a bus terminal. The guy charged us for 9 seats instead of 6 saying they’ll need a full van to move off. So when they decided to squeeze 4 guys instead of 3, we got really pissed off and demanded that they charged us for 8 instead of 9. Instead, they squished the 4 guys into a 3 seater row and off we went. Urgh. Retards.

Azhar was really being quite a prick. Least to say childish and he kept on going and going at gan. I mean, If I were gan, I would have blown up a long time ago. He would ask him every 2 mins..uh..so gan ah..where we going. And would have that retarded grin plastered all over his face. My ass man. Seriously, grow up! Gan blew.blasted back at him. GOOD ON YOU! Urgh! I would have tackled him down otherwise if we weren’t crammed up into a microscopic van. But thank god everythings over. Bleah. What a trip.

The only perk whilst traveling to kk was the cold cold bone chilling wind and the view of mt kinabalu! Gorgeous. And the fact that I was calling every other dive operator for rates. Haha. I would have really liked it if we went down to semporna instead and dived around mabul, but lets just give abdul rahman marine park a chance I guess. They said abour 3hrs further up north from kk, dugongs and manitees have been spotted. Like how odd! I thought they only resided in really cold waters like in the galepalagos? Well, I don’t know.

We found ourselves a really really pretty place. And I had to talk thru my ass to get us the rates we,re getting. 178RM per nigh for 6pax. In this really huge family deluxe room with a balcony the size of our room. And there are a million cafes downstairs owned by this same hotel place. Oh my. Its beautiful. Its called the rainforest lodge. Perfect themed for our trip. Haha. I loved it. And I convinced the rest that crashing at a backpackers wouldn’t do justice. Besides, the trip is ending and we’ve been sleeping on nothing more but bug ridden 2mm thick matteress for that past too many days, we deserved something better, really.

Hehehe. So that’s that. Had dinner at a horrid zicha place and now i cannot get to sleep! Awaiting for some bubbles tmr. Whee!