for a better tomorrow..

heavy heartedly i write, unwillingly, yet i will pen down my feelings. motivated by the sole thought that one day if ever, when i ever reread this post, i will feel at ease and know that it is for the better. im hurting insanely, and it throws me off entirely. i chose this path didnt i? i knew what was in store for me. why the anguish? gloria, you're gifted in putting up a front arent you. you can do this just like you have many times before. suck it up and deal with it.

i've never been good at goodbyes. ive had just too many people who have walked in and out of my life. and nothing good ever comes out of it. goodbyes my ass. who ever came up with the oxymoronic term 'good'bye. in whose name is bidding goodbye ever good.

when you said you were sorry, i instinctively wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself over. something i would have done in any given situation. since when has gloria turned into this crude curse-proclaiming bitch? i was never like that. i was always happy. who took that away? who? urghh. my heart's breaking. i cannot bring myself to hate you. i cannot imagine life without you. it will never feel complete and i know ive taken you for granted gazillion of times. i disrespected you and made you feel small and incompetent. you're a wonderful wonderful person. a huge blessing in my life. and God has plans much bigger than what we can imagine for us both.

we will get back to what we used to be. we will do heaps of things together and bask in the comfort of each other's company. it will be healthy. it will be wholesome. it will be innocent just as God has intended. let me curl up sleep it all away. wipe my tearstained cheeks and keep my fears at bay. for all the times ive left you crying. for all the times i left you to drown your sorrows with alcohol, for all the times i left you lost and alone at the void deck, let me take this for the team. its my turn to weep and yours to rest.

be well my friend.

Rone & Gigi

the matrix drove near, and i couldnt quite peek through the tainted glass. i could, however, roughly distinguish the round noses. i asked knik if they were dressed, and hell yes they were. how exciting! ive got 2 authentic uber famous clowns from japan right in front of me! haha.

once again, i've arranged for Japanese clowns to perform at the park for children's day. hilarious bunch. i was warmly greeted with a bouquet of balloon flowers. i had to quickly get them up on stage. and i've NEVER been backstage of the pools amphitheatre. ooh.. it was really crazy fun. not to mention, crazy noisy at the back where the parrots kept screeching relentlessly. gahh! and the honking flamingos. hur hur. rone and gigi. whee!