Double trouble O

so leons back. he had the coolest idea of getting a room at robertson quay hotel, club party booze the night away and continue back at the room. 2 rooms in fact. and it was awesome, i never knew they had budget hotels around that freaking expensive area.

as usual, they wanted cheap drinks. people are getting more practical these days. screw the atas-ness and head straight for obar or double o. evil o, some may prefer. since when you're drunk, you really wouldnt be able to tell where the heck you are anyway.

rod and i concluded that we always end happy at butter. but for some strange odd reason, blame it on the booze and the horrid crowd, evil o's always working its evil black magic. everyone either leaves absolutely smashed, or gets pissed in more ways than one. pissed off/drunk. like the time i shove him against the wall. choke slammed him, if i may use that term leaving zero dignity for his shrinking balls. fine. i didnt, but it was pretty much close to it. one where witnessed, leaves all awe and glory and gender identity crisis for the girl. i.e, me. for i no longer was deemed one after that fateful night of pinning him down. muahaha. dont mess with the zoria. muahaha.

anyhow, we ended up totally frustrated once more. the night was crap. everyone was everywhere. boring night. no one to go crazy with. and apart from the fact that jack kept grinding his balls against me like a freaking grizzly needing a tree scratch/rub. it wasnt fantastic. could have been better.

worse still, i was in the toilet and this fat indian girl kept screaming about how she needed to piss bad. like uber bad. and the next instant, pee was flying everywhere. urghhhh.. uber sickkkk. who pisses through their jeans in a club man. eeeeeeeeewwwwwww.. but blame it on the maternal instincts embedded in every female. everyone quickly grabbed tissues and what nots and tried to cover it up, before freaking out in absolute disgust. haha. never again, the visual's way too vivid in my head. Ewwwwwwwwwww :(

when someone's gotta go, they reallllly gotta go. i'm never gonna hog toilets ever again.....

it's ok, they arent so flesh

flesh. fast? aye. wait. flesh. did you say flesh?

maybe because i was half banged up, or that i wasnt quite thinking straight. when coach said they werent so flesh, as in, they arent that meaty? not as buff? you sure?

we played against st. andrews today. the last time i played with them, they were eleven. not these bunch of boys. we played against the tiny people, those who belonged to the JS. this time, they were freaking huge. boys + puberty dont really concoct the greatest equation of opponents ever. they were the 15-16 year olds. the B div guys. like shit man. and i was so not prepared.

i skipped training all weekend for a trip to malaysia with the parents. and shit man, i felt so lost and confused. i didnt know the moves, i didnt know what the hell i was getting into. the suspense was entertaining, but not knowing what to do wasnt. bahhh... i can be so much more on the field! i barely got my grubby fingers on the ball the entire game. and my poor left eye had to endure a fisty punch from some huge ass guy :( now i look terrible ugly with a solo eye bag. boo. i look like i've put eyeshadow the wrong way up..down.. up..urgh.. just the wrong way.

and my 4th finger doesnt have no skin left after all the binding and endless scrummage. and my shoulder's going to fall off. i think i'm about to grow shoulder pads. its odd how i played tight head today though. i should play the loose since i'm shorter, probably not as strong, and less experienced.

but through it all. i cant deny it. i'm quite an addict. more of a sadist than an addict. nah, i cant decipher. i loveeeee the game. the anticipation, the adrenaline rush. bruises or not, broken bones or warped eye shadow, i'm not backing down. not yet.

so who cares if the boys are of flesh. body whamming, regardless the size.

angst central

work has been rather lousy of late. and Nicks not around for me to bitch to, or just to be the only other person on my side, or the neutral party just because he is a guy. i feel like i'm setting this own personal vendetta all alone. and it's my duty to stand firm just because i dont wish to be a pushover. not that easy. just because you are older and your boobs sag lower, that doesnt mean you will command my respect. i can never understand, being colleagues and all working towards the same goal, why the harshness? is that honestly necessary?

and then there is the agency to deal with. we are the client. and it aint as if they are doing a fantastic job either. and they're charging so freaking much. how dare she talk to me like that. screw you asses. urghh..

i'm major angst central today. and my bloody email aint even working.

its one of those days where everything gets to you. maybe i'm just not cut out for this, maybe its my tile, my designation. that allows people to step all over me. like that guy i met a couple of weeks back. who refused to talk to me because i was just an executive. i'm sorry, you're not worthy of my manager's time. is that a good enough reason? urghhhhhhh..

its kinda like, you're a doctor, and you're in the operating theatre.and all of a sudden, you realise you dont want to be a surgeon anymore, kinda thing.

i need a break. i really do. ive been working non-stop for month now. save me quick, somebody. :(

do what the romans do..

bleah. i hate being caught inbetween political turmoil. and its really getting to me. i dont want to be involved, really dont need to be.

pam has been lamenting endlessly about nick. the one person whom i thought is best for me. the best boss ever. i guess being relaxed about everything doesnt make me learn. i just..i just wished things were better. that i wouldnt have to feel so caught inbetween. i really do want to be good at what i do. and pam is right about how i really do need guidance. and if anything, it should be nick who's guiding me. and theres so much more i want to do and implement and create and make out of. but having a totally laid back, totally unexcitable boss doesnt seem to be the perfect fit of how things should be if i want it my way.

things like. not telling me of a&p meetings or promotions even. like..hellllooo.. i'm kinda the only other person in the department. if you dont let me know, who should you tell then? urgh. he is the nicest person, which makes it even more complicated to hate. and i love working with him. i love him to death because he functions exactly the way i do. just that, i seem to have a lot more hyperactivity going on in my head. way more ethusiasm. sometimes, its only pam and i going gaagaa about a new idea. he's in charge of a&p, high time he start getting rahrahh..

and then, there are the people at the zoo. people whom i feel dont value what i say, or deem me as utterly stupid. the way she laughs it off, urks the hell out of me. like hellloo man, you're a freaking mother, you ought to have more patience. its like, when she doesnt understand, it means we're unclear. when we dont understand, it amounts to us being absolutely retarded. what the hell is this world coming to. screw wildlife. i only want to stick to my birdies. this extra reign of authority over me doesnt make sense half the time. and we're like freaking 2nd class citizens there. everything takes way longer than usual to get approved, churned out. who gets the blame in the end. oh..coz birdparks slow in everything we do. whatever man. we're a 2 man team, with no designer nor IT personnel, everything has to come from over your end because you say so. and you're the least supportive ever, saying things like, oh, it isnt worth the cab ride over. and you're blaming us for being slow? live with it then.

i wish someone who just drag me out of singapore for a bit. i need a break. ive work endlessly for the past 3 weeks, im tired. i really want to do absolutely nothing. think about absoutely nothing, preferably wear absolutely nothing too. hur hur.

sweep me away..far far away..

pass with compensation compassion

oh my goodness.

i dont know how i managed that but WHOA!

i just got my results back. and it is insannnnnee.... i actually cleared my finance. well, i have to. though i can never understand why they would include finance in a marketing degree. andddd...i got a freaking high distinction for ethics! man am i ethical. so the only one i was flipping my brains out for, the one that got me so erractic and moody ever since the papers ended was advanced marketing concepts. and lo and behold, they actually cleared me for it. it was written, pass with compensation. i.e. a special review's given judging on the overall result of the student when one has a borderline failure. thank God man, i promise i'll be good from now on.

so great! its much more than i can ever ask for. its amazing how He works. if i were to pass, and clear it the normal way, i'd probably claim the credits and heave a giant loud, HENG AH. but noooo... God has to stress me, kill me, make me absolutely worried sick, and ends up passing me with compensation. like whythe hell did they compensate me for? i am undeserving. terribly taking His grace for granted, but yeah mannnn....its finally over. and i am truly thankful.

God works in his strange ways, i am fathomed and overwhelmed by his mysterious ways of pulling you through. He had to push for something unusual, something closely miraculous, claim the credit, and make me realise his sovereignty once again. neat.

be still and know that He truly is God.