i swear i'm a part time ahmad cum porter. this whole driving parents to airport thing is killing me. i am so certain they had devious plans in making me so when they decided that they should "be nice" and pay for my driving lessons. evil. how evil.
and so, my parents are off to china once again. i saw the usual array of teary eyed people, the sobbing couples, the worry stricken parents. but all in all, everything is still pretty much the same. i never liked going to the airport. brings back way too much memories. memories of being like that too. or even happy ones of going away on longly awaited trips. how i wish i was the one passing through the gates. i so need a holiday. i even told them to pack me in on their next trip to china. like ew china, but id go either way. i need a holiday.
i seemed like the only happy bloke, waving relentlessly at the glass panels. haha, i tried to keep my cool, i tried to look upset. but hell yeah!!! my prison wardens are shipped off to china, ITS TIME TO PARTAYYYYYY!!!
hahaha. say yeahhhh, yeahhh!
i think the only thing that got me down was the fact that i've gotta be so giam about petrol the next 2 weeks, and that i'm so near yet so far from a getaway from singapore. someone please, take me away. i was standing in front of the departure panels and randomly picked 53 as a number to see where that'll take me to. i saw departure times, 1530hrs which was headed for hanoi. ee..been there. then there was 1553hrs to amsterdam, been there too. so i checked out flights, 531 to new delhi! how cool! oh india here i come, prepare the way, prepare the curry and await my arrival. hur hur!
i've always wanted to do india. ive even gotten myself a lonely planet for india. i just need company. i cant go there alone, i might never come home. haha. id look too juicy and succulent for the village kids, they might eat me. hur hur.
i cant wait. anywhere will do, i just really need to get out of singapore. i was just telling vince last night how i wished we signed up for the live on board this end sept. now im regretting bad coz i'm not getting my dose of diving, but more importantly, my escapism from reality. every dive trips seems as if life in singapore stops for that wee bit. kinda like an advertisement break from all the dramamama back in singapore. i need that, i really could use one. the fishes wouldnt know what i'm going through, the stingrays and turtles and sharks wouldnt care less if i grew fatter, or if i had more pimples. the corals wouldnt come up and tell me, hey, your life's kinda screwed up, you need help. no they wont, they'd welcome me with arms wide open, if they had arms to begin with, and embrace me with all the warmth and love anyone could ever wish for. sigh. welcome to my sad life, my wild fantasies of love under the sea, of hugs from sea creatures. darn, i need help.
its been such a long week. and it marks the end to many old things. like what gracie said, birthdays are the only other day in the year where you'd get reflective and think through your life in retrospect. apart from easter, from christmases and new years, thats pretty much it. birthdays always come as a turning point. a new leash of a better life now that ure older. and i've never felt quite much a difference till this year. i partied hard, and i thought through things even harder. i need to rectify way too many things in my life. i need to know what i want/need, vs what God wants for my life. i need to decrease, so that He'll increase. bahh, that i know so well, i just cant put it into action. its so typical spirit willing, flesh weak type thing. so not cool. dont like.
rod asked me what i wanted in a guy, what my expectations of a boyfriend were. and i listed so so many, i felt more critical than a country voting for its next president. or something like that. i think ive got way too many requirements, everyone should beckon in fear and keep away. and as low a maintenance girlfriend id be, we figured id still need someone who would be willing to do all that travelling, and what nots with me. not to pay for me, but to pay for himself, to be there with me. haha, man, im demanding.
i was at the gym with rod on tues, and i'm finally not 70 anymore. haha. who cares if i openly declare my weight. like age, its just another number. its what its made out of that really counts. 70kgs of fat, then maybe id stick my head in the drain and never come out, id let the ostrich tendencies deep within take control and hermitize. but who cares, i feel good, i can look better, but i'm happy. and thats more important. i dont need a 50kg body with long slender legs. i dont even yearn for a typical singaporean female physic. they probably aint as healthy. their arms and legs cant do shit. their thick slabs of make up cant make them fitter. haha, i'm getting so bitchy. but so what. i cant help it, i spent 10 years in mg.
i guess in certain points of your life, you really need the lows to show you where the high peaks are. to truly appreciate it when you can loudly declare that life is good. i'm gonna have to take one step at a time, each day as it comes. and boldly embrace what life can throw at me. i'd chose to believe that it really cant get that bad. let the little things excite me. for nothing, apart from gravity, can ever hold me down. my life demands rectification, and i'm gonna go get it.
