URGH!

i dont get it. i i really dont. why do you have to be so fucking pissed at me. and shall i re-emphasise, FUCKING pissed at me. i dont think ive ever openly sweared on my blog. then again. i dont even say that word. urgh! what the hell is wrong with you. why do you have to get so freaking pissed with me going out. its christmas la! why do you have to get so uptight. fine, ure stuck in camp. and just because ure stuck in camp, do i have to wait patiently at home like what those stupid wives did 20 centuries ago? urgh! i dont get you. i really dont. it isnt even the whole, oh, im protective, im scared you'd meet someone new. its simply because you dont want me out as often as i have been. but helllo!! its freaking christmas! how many times do i have to say that. and besides, shouldnt you understand? if you were 50, id relent, beckon away and let you have your way. ure MY age. why should you be making such a freaking fuss about it. what is wrong with you!

not as if i go to parties and get smashed and do stupid things. stupid things meaning those useless people who lie on the road outside zouk after a night, no, not even a night, half a night of partying. do i even do that?! ive never even gone home drunk ever. fine, ive stayed out way late but its all in the name of good pure fun. please! why be mad at me! i dont get it! i really dont! and ive been going to house parties la! not as if ive been out clubbing every single night! and when you tell me you dont understand me, and that i tell you neither do i. you fire away about how i HAVE to find fault with you everytime we quarrel. so trashing things out mean you blasting and me going, oh yes sir, im sorry. id never do that again. is it? if thats the way you wants things to be. if thats the way you want ME to be then fine. screw it.

december

its been one hell of a december. not the best, but certainly the craziest. haha. list of things that ive never tried but did this hols are endless. haha. id try to make it a point to post pictures before 07. thats if i dont become blind and deaf by then. from the mama's ridiculous raving and shouting and nagging of late. and yes, rod, deaf by the new ear. i dont want that, really. haha.

so ive been to vietnam. 2 church camps - one batam, and another port dickson (excellent campsite by the way) moving/packing/shifting out. christines yacht party. wakerafting. haha. dont remind me. too many mambos. family dinners. bens family christmas lunch. chai's house party. shabu shabu. weishiengs christmas party. mambo yet again. haha. its been a blast. and i cant wait for the 30th for my house party. hur hur hur. booze on end. sweet.

PA-RANTS

the word PARENTS, is made up of the PApa and the one who rants. yes, the mother. urgh, nagger.

so i guess having company at home truly doesnt make a difference at all. they come back and my mom starts yelling her brains out about the blood stains on the floor. which is quite a lot considering how bad the hit was. so the trail starts all the way from my room to the toilet. what a bloody mess it was. bloody toe. bloody mother. kept bloody complaining. i dont think i will ever wanna murder anyone. its way too troublesome to clean up. if i do, id poison, or throw off the building. hmm. or maybe id break the fella's neck. or stab his eyes with my fingers. nono, thatwould probably stain my shirt. my very expensive shirt, coz if i were to murder someone, i should be rich and famous. and that guy im trying to kill would probably be someone after my assets. ahem. well, assets meaning money. yes, that sounds more like it. haha. so there. i wouldnt kill. i would have blood on my hands, literally.

so you think the mother's bad, my dad's even worse. he comes home, irritated from my mom's nonstop supersonic speed nagging, very conveniently kicks the cat who very unfortunately was in his way. urgh. what warped parents. somebody get me out of herrrree.

rain, fall on me

i hate the rain. its really getting to me and i dont know why. im suddenly feeling all lonely and depressed. :( its been raining all day. we didnt even get much packing/moving done. ive got too much on my to-do list. the house barely looks like a home anymore. everythings everywhere. and everyones out. im stuck home with a broken toe. urgh. and ive got so much to write about the past few weeks. about both camps. about the wedding. the night at the swiss. about moving. about disappearing people. about old friends. about how i havent started christmas shopping. or just about how the whole christmas thing hasnt even hit me yet. about christines baptism. about how i havent gotten my best friend her 21st present yet. about how i hate the fact that ive got too much to rant about and too little time/motivation to get it all churned out. i need company. misery loves company. and right now, i am that misery. anyone wants to be my company?

monday night FEVER

urgh. im sick. i havent had a fever since..since..well.. since! i can barely remember being stuck in bed all day. how dreadful. and according to the new strepsils i bought, i should have chesty cough. big chest, big cough. haha. lionel, you wanted me to bring you apart of msia back right? stand in front of me and ill cough some up. hah.

so camp's over. rather upsetting. camp turned out better than i had expected. in a spiritual sense that is. i mean, GMC youth camps have ALWAYS been good. never once disappointed. games/programmes were always amazing. but i dont think ive ever seen God move through a camp like he did, this one. i mean, yeah, the whole spiritual high thing obviously has hit me. but its different. different from the other camps. being prayed for, being touched by the holy spirit, its just totally unlike the other times. this time demands more than just a spiritual high, a mere feeling. it demands a change, truly a love so amazing so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all.

with that said. i think i'd better start going back for youth. screw whatever i said before camp, nobody is perfect, really.

i love ning

i dont think ive realised how much i missed having her around till today. i mean, it has always been the occasional talks here and there during church, or after work, but i havent met up with her for just shopping/coffee for way too long. i still remember how i used to have a day set aside after exams for the twins. it just stopped, after mg. then again, alot of things just stopped after mg. alot of people disappeared. typical cross junction of your life type thing. owell.

so there. i met ning for shoppping and coffee. shopping for a dress for da ge's wedding next fri. and we ended up at gloria jeans. it was funny, she wanted to say that she was jean when they were taking down her name for her order. haha. darn it, we should have. im certain that we would have gotten a discount. they were clearly overstaffed, but at the very least, service was good. i ordered a pumpkin ravioli mushroom pasta, and he turned to the girl next to him and went,"pumpkin!" and so i burst out laughing commenting how tight they were as colleagues, calling her pumpkin. haha. got everyone there for a bit. nice. my place, my cafe, it had better not disapppoint.

we talked about issues we had about church. it was refreshing to finally find someone who had almost the same sentiments i had about GMC. i mean, yea, our youths dynamic. worships/creative arts ministry is booming. but when it comes to your own personal growth and walk with God, i cant rattle along chanting about the wonders of how the spirit is moving within church. i always had a problem with youth. one of the main reasons why i left cell. and YF altogether. i mean, we all grew up knowing about the common trend in church. how people leave during JC/poly/army, and come back after probably mid way uni. everyone knew it. but i never really understood why till i got there myself. everyone gets so judgemental. and they easily label anyone they wish to. its fustrating. whether or not your brother/sister in christ is doing something that isnt pleasing to GOd, there shouldnt even be that tinge of judgement. of putting the person down. of having that, im in the elite squad, im a good kid, and ure just bad, bad bad. it shouldnt work that way! we're a freaking church, a family. not some organisation or association. we're bounded by God's love, and not by a typical standard-of-living laws you guys set. so its ok if the person leaves church, trusting that he'll come back after he's had his fun? and what if the person never returns? ure gonna lose that one soul just because you think he wasnt good enough? ridiculous. in that case, if staying out late, clubbing, drinking etc. is bad. my as well not watch movies, listen to music or anything at all. banish pop culture in its entirety, why dont you. urgh!

it gets so annoying! even my bestfriend in church left a couple of years back. he turned gay and never returned. so if thats what u want, fine. by all means. having a youth group made up of complete angels is what you desire anyway.

a couple of years back, when i was so bent on changing church, how i wanted to root myself in foochow since ive grown much more than i have ever did my entire life in grace. but something just didnt let me go. personal principles perhaps. never believed that changing church was an option. just like how i was telling wayne and the rest at camp, or how i was sharing with ning just now. and its true! you want the change, spark the change in your very own church. but its oh so difficult. worse still when you dont have a single person to back you up. bahh...

butt..

now ive got ning. very soon, id have en back too. hahaha. we can form an alliance. we shall rule the world! hur hur hur. haha. im sure we will. sigh. we really need to pray. i belive there is nothing in the world that could possibly change the hearts of these people apart from God himself. who knows what the upcoming year holds. i might just start going back to cell. since our batch is sort of taking charge. yay! haha. that would be exciting :) woot!

happy birthday kio

i cant believe a year flew by just like that. i still remember the giant political fiasco we had last year in office during kios bday. haha, and a year just went by like that. much faster than i can even pronounce subukoongamoolisticofungularitarity. haha.

so due to our massive lack of decisiveness, we ended up at the indonesian riverside seafood place. food was ok i guess. and we only picked clarke quay because christine ho got clarke quay and boat quay mixed up when she recommended us to try mooba out. this australian aboriginal restaurant apparently with excellent wagyu beef. (yeah right, i can afford that..i wish! haha)

got to know this really sweet little girl who's mama's a spy. hur hur. one of those istambul ladies witht hat black spy costume. haha. interesting.


kio's birthday lana cake. thanks to jay, i picked it up wihtout much of a hassle. but i still managed to squish it somehow. hurr. too bad. haha.


we got down to acid bar after. had a good time with wala's ex crooner. haha. he actually even recognised me! amazing. he did an excellent rendition of a birthday song for kio. sigh, i miss walaa! speaking of which, i even went down for unxpected's lunchbox special at the esplanade. that was awesome. ooh.


the whole horrid impression i had of acid bar was once again reinforced. stupid. firstly, jia's birthday last week, and this week for kios, we got chased out of our comfy couches and got relocated to the rock hard seats next to the blasting speakers. and then when we asked for forks for the cake, we were given chopsticks. like what the hell. bahh. i dont know what even possessed me to go back to acid. darn it.


happy birthday girlie. :) you should know by now how much we love you.


and so, since i was yet again a hyper piper, and that everyone was pretty much awake anyway, and that serene didnt wanna take a cab home, yet didnt mind staying out late, we decided to go to somewhere near her place instead for a change. stupid girl kept falling asleep with her mouth opened wide. haha. how unglam. we drove down to sembawang park, with failed attempts on finding the bottle neck restaurant. we found people fishing instead. look at how freaking pick the catfishes were. they told us it was the catfish season. the ones we usually catch are like probably as big as my palm. these were like longer/larger than my forearm. ooh. yummy.

we drove ard sembawang park, through the dark unlit roads. and we stumbled upon this brightly lighted up place in which, serene insisted that it was some secret military port. haha. it realy did look very PSAish. but still! funny. spoke to rod for a bit and he was like.."you not scared meh, driving around sembwang park at 1am in the morning, listening to your class95. wait the channel suddenly change and u start hearing chinese opera how?" haha. hilarious. stupid rod. always tryign to freak us out. finally took a long slow drive down to woodlands, then to jurong west. sigh. i can never understand why the 3 of us have to live so far apart. my heartaches for draining the petrol. owell! too bad! haha :)