what a good break it was leaving the company for that 3 days. i had the enormous amount of workload to suffer for when i got back, but i was good nevertheless. and knowing that my break was well spent at SU camp, it kinda didnt matter anymore even though pay back time was more than what i had imagined.
i was totally unprepared for camp. i mean, i know i went with the attitude to receive more than to serve. but, well, i dont know. i totally forgot i had a camp to go for the night before even! who ever forgets an SU camp?? i went a day late, missing out on the leaders training day and 2 hours late on the actual day itself. terrible i know..haha.
it wasnt as good as last year though. the food wasnt fantastic, a tad too foreign in its unfamiliar buffet styled. we didnt sing grace. and even if we did, we didnt do it as a camp. we didnt have as much group time to bond and stuff. and we didnt even have a chance to act out as a group. though im not complaining that the girls against guys stuff was bad either. haha..
BUT...
the worship was good. good for everyone else i suppose. i just couldnt seem to commune with Him. to bring it up to a more personal level than just singing out the words. and i hated it. i had a difficult time trying to stay up even. having to work has kinda screwed up my usual gloria clock. it had perfected it to the way my mom wants it to be..but i want my old gloria self back! boo!
im not even suffering from post-camp redrawal symptoms. and camp ended really quickly. in a bad way of course. not quick because we had a load of fun. but quick because the days just passed like that with no heavy emotional attachment to it. bahh..
maybe i need some major changes in my life. i dont know. i would love to say i love my job, but i don't. and with the blatant backstabbing of late..urgh! i kills me already. after working away from kids, it kinda made me miss being the authorative leader of a bunch of young kiddos. very michael jacksonish im sounding aye. haha. maybe id give them 3 months. or 4..or 5..who knows. and the pay honestly sucks. i could earn my months pay in 25 swimming lessons! hmmph! thats slightly more than a day for u. and i had all the freedom i wanted. and thats inclusive of cpf too! and i didnt even need to contribute to darned cpf even! bahh...
i have like no time for my friends, no time for my ben, no time for myself even. feel im being sucked in into the whirlpool of the working society. eee..scary. i dont even have the time to exercise!! :( more glorias am i gaining.. tsktsk
theres obviously the good side to work of course. ive got my darling colleagues even tho jo aint there no more. we've got our crazy nights out and i just have to add, especially at thumper! haha. where we got kio up on a pole with some random guy and got her pissed drunk. i had to pay the price of getting puke all over my jeans of course, but it was worth the sight neverhteless. hahaha.. but i guess theres more to it than just the surface of fun. and i know i must get to it somehow. regardless of whether im staying or not, i must get to it, i will get to it somehow..
time to revamp my life once more. christmas is coming, a new years coming up. time to make some changes. new years are always a good start whether or not they last.
