TPE SLE CTE EEE FEE CRAZEE

what a long long car ride it was..i'm starting to dread driving. i love the convenience, i hate the act of it. bahh..

i spent the whole of last night doing up my resume. so yay! thats good..

woke up late again. i can see my tummy growing because of all the junk food and late nights. dearie me..

had a really really out of the blue conversation with zhuang. things finally cleared up for good. this thing's been so on off for the past 7-8 years..the air's finally clearing. so yay! hopefully something good comes out of it..

mom told me to drop her off her harbour front, wait while she ran some errands and send her back home. i needed to drop off the stupid goggles at temasek club, so i headed there after sending her back. christine called so yay! picked her up from school and headed down to park mall to get her specs done. she picked out some really strange 'murderous' looking specs. hahah. i still prefer the other. ahh...nvm.. given ur fantastic memory, i'm sure u'd forget where u place ur specs after a year. i'd wait till the next time we go pick out specs again. this time, id make sure they have more to choose from. and id do a better job at picking and not giving u strange contorted faces..haha

we needed mesh wire, uh..wire mesh..whatever..for gerbils and squishy. so we got to ps and realised they only had sizes for bbqs. darned high end DIY shops. got all the way back to park mall carpark and headed towards balmoral.

I HATE JAMS! (peanut butter is so much better!)

we were stuck in a horrid jam behind wisma coz everyone wanted to turn right into scotts road. so we filtered out, and headed towards tanglin, hoping it would be better. tanglin didnt do it right for us either. inched bit by bit towards town and gave up when we hit nassim road so we took a left turn and went down past botanical gardens, through the old SMU. we got out of the jam thankfully, so i dropped christine off at her bus stop. would have sent u in if the circumstances were alot better. haha. repeating directions over and over again in my head to go straight and turn right at raffles medical centre, i almost rammed my side view mirror into another car while cutting right. rahh..scary.

so thats that. go straight, turn right at medical centre, then what? u didnt tell me what next! so i continued going on straight till i hit north bridge road. uh...rightttttt....isnt CBD like the other side. rah! i hate navigating by myself. thankfully my old work place is somewhere around the area so it didnt seem way too foreign. got my way down to boontat street and ben told me hes on the other side..so i had to make a uturn and uturn back after i picked him up. my poor poor baby was so tired he was slumped on the bus stop seats. he waited over an hour for me. and worse still, i had to rush back home to pick my dad up to fly him down to sengkang and it was 715!! his seminar was at 730. there was no way i could fly that fast. the traffic wouldnt allow! even red bull wouldnt work. (red bull gives u wings to fllyyyy) haha. dad called and screamed his lungs out. not really..but its just as bad. he NEVER EVER gets angry. and it just made me feel so so bad. urgh! i kept quiet all the way back to bens house after pop decided to get a cab instead. and did i mention how jammed shenton way was as well...bahh!

had dinner at the hokkien mee store at simon road. over ordered again..but the wings were pretty good! u should try it girlie...

ben was pretty upset at me being so irresponsible and making him wait and all.. but thankfully he was understanding enough so yay baby! i love u! haha.:)

made my way to sengkang. there are like 3 primary schools in the same area. i had a hard time navigating my way around to the right one. good thing i was early this time around! i love having ben or christine in the front seat. they always help me check whether im clear and they always seem to know the directions to anywhere. even if the streetdirectory is needed, at least they know how to look for it, the place that is. i know of many people, yes, guys included, who are clueless at reading maps! haha.

freaked so bad while waiting for dad. didnt know what he was gonna say. and when he finally came out..he was like..why look so sad?? quarrelled with ben ah. what happened.. man! ive never met anyone quite like my dad.. haha.. thankfully ben prayed with me before i headed down to sengkang. hes is one amazing guy. God always answers his prayers! despite the die die situation, my dad wasnt even mad in the end, and my mom knew nothing about it! so yayyyyyyy!!!! haha..

we went down TPE, and made a wrong turn and ended up at SLE. can u believe it..i was on my way to woodlands. no good. exited at mandai, yes, night safari's opened ok..we could have visited ah meng and friends. haha. and went down upper thomson then back to CTE again. so its one giant round. rahh! then back home. given the speed i was at, we still took slightly less than an hour. so it was really really really farrrr... and we're only in tiny singapore! i cant imagine if we were in anywhere else. roads were empty and misty. apart from the road block that i met. so so quiet... yay for pop's company and class95! haha..

what a day.. rah! ben and i didnt even have a good conversation till one of us decided to perk things up and do the destressing. alls good i hope! rrah! yet another torturous long post! haha.

Jane Koh Hui Hsien

wei xian, hui hsien, it all means the same doesnt it. i had a really really queer dream just now. about u, about all of us, in canada. and we chanced upon meeting u. as in, we were in canada but not to visit u for some strange reason. and i ran up to hug u but u pushed me away in annoyance saying, WE HAVENT MET FOR 9 YEARS! how do u expect me to accept a hug? haha..so weird.. firstly, it hasnt been 9 years, and secondly, its only a hug! haha. i dont know.. then the next scene was us at ur place. with us on some really really random adventures like surviving a flood that came out from nowhere. and then there was ur mom. we had a huge potluck party and ur mom was preparing food. and she was asking what i wanted, and i gave the usual, 'oh anything' reply. and the next moment, her hair starts falling out. not in strands, but in massive chunks. so scary...then i woke up...

what was that all about?!

crickets, gerbil, and darn baby

ugh..my dad's at it again. he's at his 'no-u-cannot-let-them-die' and 'must-let-them-reproduce! nonsense again. rah!! he just bought another 2 boxes of crickets and added a box of soil in for them to lay their stupid eggs. how annoying. ive got an orchestra of crickets. they're gonna sing pleasant symphonies for me all night long. bahh!

lance, u better help me get rid of them ok. ive got any size now..please.. please.............take them!take them alll!!!! haha..

my mom made me jump out of bed today. it wasnt good. well, apparently, the gerbil had escaped again, and this time, he aint so lucky. baby caught him and who knows what he did to him. when i got to the gerbil, it wasnt moving. rah! my poor poor furry friend. he's left behind his wife and 2 kids. u fought well mate. u fought hard and good in the battle, but im sorry, we had to let u go...

boohoo..

i'm not gonna feed the fatcat for a week! hmmph!

CAN.com.sg

jia told me about the website last night and i decided to check it out to find the address of the stupid bugger who cheated me of $160. i ended up with a load of "new singapore insight". didnt know i had so many many many things i wanted to do..

so i came up with my list of things to do after fiddling around with darned HTML codes. i still dont get how the codes work. as in, what stands for what. and i dont quite bother. as long as it serves me well...haha..

i need to get a few things done tmr.

1. get goggles for the stupid doctor
2. visit ikea perhaps
3. get meshwire for gerbils
4. find a way to stop pop from getting the crickets to lay their eggs again.. rah! i literally have a farm at home right now. goodness gracious me..Rah with the capital R!

my throat's getting itchy. aint good. baby's fur has been getting to me quite a bit lately..

had swimming today, and one of my kids, uh..adults accidently kicked this guy in the eye. this oncoming swimmer who swam straight up into her mighty kick. it broke his googles down the centre and cut right under his eye. he made such a big deal out of it and totally freaked my student out. the poor lady kept apologizing and he just got out of the pool in such a huff. albert assured the guy that he wouldnt let the adults swim in the non-training area anymore, and offered to replace the goggles, but he still HAD to complain. whats up with u man! he insisted that the cut on his face would scar. and since he's a doctor, no one can defy right. the complaint might send albert straight out of temasek club, the place he's been teaching for over 9 years. it aint fair! its only a tiny cut u idiot. i bet u didnt even do army u pussy. darn u! we're already replacing ur ridiculously crazily priced goggles, making the trip down to get it and u still have to make things difficult. call urself a gentleman. bahh!

swimming didnt go too well afterall. it was quite a feat, having to handle 11 kids and 3 adults at the same time since albert was stuck in the management office. poor fellow..

i cant quite decide between studying or working. christine has been trying to convince me that SMU really isnt all that difficult to get into. i sure do hope so. and since they're so into the entrepreneural spirit stuff, i just might get my swimming school proposal drafted out and sent straight to the principal. i might just take my SATs as well. i might..i just might..

girlie glor? boyish glor? haha..

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

weekday nothingness, weekends what nots.. (Part II)

i shall be a good girl and not let anger get the better of me. it shall not control me! hmmph! u evil one, thinking u can get me down by a long long post, i mean..a long long long long very very long post...by deleting it! let me say it again..I WILL NOT LET MY ANGER CONTROL ME!
hmmph!!!

where was i....yes...crosslink..read the post below if u havent, then ud get this.

i felt Gods prompting to give up drinking. i mean, i know it aint good, and it does nothing in setting me apart from others, other nonchristians that is. there needs to be changes in my life and these changes have to be permanant. it should no longer be a, i feel like i need God now, yes God i will listen....for now. no! uh uh..not this time. having to drink is one thing, the bible didnt say drinking was bad. people did wine last time. and though ive never really felt the effects of alcohol in my body, apart from the numbness, the excessive peeing and perhaps, feeling alittle tipsy, it still aint good! especially when im the one who initiates it most of the time. drinking in excess not only kills my liver, it stumbles people as well. so i guess coffee will do for now..haha..yes, coffee in excesss..haha..surprised? haha, i'd need strength to honour my word..

we had a time of sharing and prayer in our own CGs. i felt so old! everyone was talking and asking for time management, for discipline to study and preparation for exams, obedience to obey school rules. i was like, uh..i uh..need a job. haha. and elroi happily said..starbucks need people! u could work there! hahaha..i almost fell off the chair in laughing fits. my point proven, coffee will do me good for now..hahhaa...

christine dragged me for dinner though i tried my best to get out of it at first. i dont regret going. i miss being amongst people i used to be so close to. i miss their companionship. and i havent laughed as hard as i did in a long long time. dinner was fun, dinner was stupidly fun, talking about christine's prom and what nots. haha. and then there was arcade. yay for arcade! though christine insisted that her skills had vanished. and that a third of her life had vanished along with it because she no longer is as good as she was last time. haha. i miss splurging on arcade. i miss being a kid all again. dont worry girl, we will do arcade on a weekly basis. we will find that missing third of yrs soon! haha. and u will get better at bishiebashie but definately not as good as the undefeatable reigning champ aka glor! haha. yay! u can reign for airhockey, bishiebashie's taken! haha

we played really really dumb games too! not forgetting the jap drum game.

ahha..so fun!was supposed to meet the rest for coffee at starbucks, (coffee again, i know..haha) but didnt since we couldnt decide where to head to first. or whether i should just stay over. had to drop crystal off at bukit timah anyway. headed back to town after and still couldnt quite decide. so i decided to drive us back home first. i love driving the rav4. or any SUVs for that matter. makes u feel as if ure the king of the road since ure so high up. literally, that is. haha...driving the corrolla doesnt do that to u. haha.. neither does ur dad's back breaking neck stiffening volks bora work too. haha. its been such a long time since ive driven that car. the last time i was in the drivers seat was before i had my license! haha. i shall work towards getting that jeep, or perhaps, that mini hummer that they just brought in. ah thanks girlie..u know what to get me for christmas dont u..haha..

got back home, fed everyone and we realised how battered baby's leg was. had to hold him down to clean him up but he was in so much pain we decided to leave it. the funny thing was that there wasnt an open wound. hopefully it aint something internal. i dont have the money for ur xray and vet bills anymore. i will find a job though..hang in there baby! haha. grabbed church clothes and off we went! christine had to head home so she didnt allow me to go find u guys. too bad..haha..

i missed staying over girlie..i miss my side of the bed and having to vie for the bolster though we no longer have to anymore since there are two. i miss the feeling of jumping in bed after a nice cold shower since ud probably spay me if i touched ur bed without a shower. i missed slapping pup's head everytime i walked past her in the kitchen. and shushing the birdies by blowing at their feathers to see them fluff up. haha. i miss springing squishy too! i miss having to find my toothbrush pink after ur dad had sterilised it. and all the wrestles we've had and having lance over. haha. and all the random stuff we do at night and the late night talks and what nots..i love u girlie!

sunday was a bad no-no. i was awoken at such an unearthly hour. it was horrid though i must compliment, ure probably the only person in the 'ho' (haha..sorry..just had to) wide world who has the patience, or rather, the capability in waking me up gently with absolutely no screaming, tugging, slapping, jergens bottling, tennnis racqueting involved. haha..maybe thats why ure my best friend. haha..

aunty densie is no longer surprised at my presence early on sunday mornings. she doesnt get a shock seeing me drag my feet out of ur room anymore. no fun. well maybe, ive finally gained residency permit at ur place. shes just too used to it!

i was surprisingly awake during service. which was good! for once that is. i told God i wanna please Him in all that i do. so i kept my eyes wide awake though the main reason was probably coz alex chng wasnt speaking. haha..though his own version of the english language usually keeps me up. haha.

we skipped youth since we were so late coz we picked up breakfast and the cds after 8oclock servive. we got back in time for the fire drill tho. haha...lunch with singee and the rest was fun. especially having to drag amos and jamers and christine to shop for ai's tankini. hahaha..and yes, another round of arcade, we had. and i am still the reigning bishiebashie champ. yayy!

training after was so fun! ive never been for training at one tree hill. the new retriever's such a fluffball. and he looks like a sheep skin rug when he lies on the floor. haha. though he was such a whiner. so cute. and pup was locked in. poor girl..but too bad since shes mutated into a no nonsence dog. hee..i took a dog for advance class. so fun. haha. too bad i aint have no dog to experiment on. didnt know they could response so well to hand signals. so cool. i guess id just have to make do with baby..muahaha..

sat around with bob leslie and christine after class. it just made me want a dog more. but i guess baby rules the household for now. and mom wouldnt be too pleased anyway. i will get one...soon that is! 2008...haha..yeah!

had family time after that though i was so so sleepy. mom says we'd probably move in 2008 coz she presumes that we'd be done and leading our own lives by then. that means, she would expect me to move out by then. hopefully marrying me off. haha. and since pop would have retired by then, we can no longer stay here anymore since it is church property after all. ican never understand how WSCS or any church ministry for that matter can be so money minded..bahh.. human nature perhaps. who wants to take me in after 2008?

drove to bens after sending bro and angie home. drove there to pray with him for his new job at jonty's that starts today. hope everything goes well..hope the sudden time reduction with each other doesnt show..we'd wait and see..

weekday nothingess, weekends what nots.. (Part I)

what a week it has been. too much of staying home doesnt do good to ur head. makes u kinda lazy. well, in my case, makes me lazier. haha. been looking at the recruit section, picking out jobs without sending in my resume simply because i just havent written it yet. haha. terrible, i know..

thankfully, my weekend was made a load better by christine. went shopping with ben on friday for his working clothes. yay for shopping, yay for new clothes but boo coz it aint for me! haha. never really enjoy myself shopping with ben till friday. i guess its because we usually pick out things for me, and not him. getting too self centred doesnt quite pay off.

swimming on saturday was the usual. nothing fantastic happened. no fat-aunty-gloria business. no screaming and shouting at the kids. i swam though, alot. and i should do it more often because it does get a little demoralising when u realise ur kids have better stamina than u. haha.

popped by christine's for lunch and some dvds. we watched the beauty shop. excellent show. it was hilarious. i love blacks! haha. and all blacks of course..haha..out of point. speaking of blacks, i should go for contact training soon. i think im at my fattest ever. and it really is getting kinda disgusting. bahh..

was watching beauty shop, and the birdies were so annoying i could barely hear what they were saying. luckily for me, subtitles were there to the rescue. if budgies and cockatiels could be such irritants, i might just think twice about getting my african grey. since tweet tweet is annoying enough, i cant imagine having a helloooo hellooooo good day! behind my back while i watch tv. it just doesnt go. i might just end up having it for dinner. muahah..

went for crosslink! and its been so so long since ive been there. everything's still pretty much the same. more new faces i think. or at least, people ive yet to know. worship was superb as usual. steven spoke on walking the walk and talking the talk. and it made me realise how low my standards of being a christian is. i act no differently from non-christians. and it aint good! i need the dilligence in running this race. my whole perspective of having a good relationship with God is totally out of line. it shouldnt be the fear of the end times drawing near but rather the desire of spending my life's journey with my maker..


i HATE blogger. i just finished my entire long long post. and it tells me to resign in when i published it. and the entire post went missing. i hate hate blogger! urgh!!! and the recover post button only saved half of it. rahhh!!!!

gerbil VS glor

i had my fair share of chasing, in this rat race fast paced society that we live in. but this is one great victory i must say. haha.

i had yet another duel with the most competitive opponent ever - the gerbil.

the gerbil had escaped yet again, this time, i didnt have my mom to help.

so its one on one, glor vs the gerbil.

guess who won?haha

i must say, my cat makes a lousy partner. yesterday, when the gerbil was hiding under the fridge, i was like, look baby, u guard that side, and id guard this side. he kept his side on guard scaring the poor fella so he'd run out my side. i guess my cat aint much of a cat afterall. the gerbil ran out his side and down the hall without either of us noticing. bahh!

this time round, i was headed for the toilet when baby kept pawing at something under the piano. urgh. i hate pianos. they're so so dusty. bahh! baby gave up half way! can u believe that?! ive been proven a much better cat than he is. got him after using magazines, rulers, the broom and a torch light. haha. i love gerbils, their tails act as a natural leash. heeheehee..

alas! the gerbil returns home, defeated once again. muahaha. we humans rule!

FAT Aunty Gloria!

there it happened today again..

"Aunty Gloria, why are u so weird. first ure fat then thin then fat then thin then fat then thin then fat then thin then fat then thin then fat then thin then fat then thin??"

and no, i did no exaggeration to his question. he really did the fat thin thing so many times.

so i asked, "so am i fat or thin today?" and he said..FAT!

"20 LAPS NOW!", u darn kid! hahhaha

i love teaching swimming. kids rreally reallly really do say the darnest things! haha. i mean, firstly, i havent taught him long enough for him to state my size 14 times! ive only taught him for like, 5 weeks! haha. secondly, how dare u call me fat! though the thin part makes up for it. haha. rah! id get u u little punk! ure only 4! ure so not gonna get a girlfriend when u grow up! hahaha.

Mites in Tights

i now know where the mites come from. i used to think they came from nothingness. the air or somesort. who knows. but when i was clearing out the cricket tank today, i found mites in them, and the crickets are fed to the lizard. and the mites get to the lizard. there we go! bingo!

i dont blame my dad for starting his 'cricket farm' thingy. its probably the only way to destress right now, given his current state. but take more reponsibility pop! u aint living in a kampong no more. when the crickets escape, they kinda live in our house, not ur 100 arce wide backyard of wilderness! now not only do i have a cricket farm, ive got a mites infested farm as well. gonna do some real cleaning tmr man! rah!

shall clean out the tank downstairs. so if they were to climb out, or jump out in a frenzy, i wouldnt have to bother catching them back. haha. they can infest the rooms downstairs for all i care. muahaha..yay! i shall list my must dos for tmr!

1. clean tank!

2. accompany benno to buy working clothes. YAY! SHOPPING!

3. clean room and the cat pee smelling bin. haha.

4. fill shelves to make space for mom's books.

5. type resume so i can start being productive

6. look for a job!

7. be a good girl and wake up early to do my quiet time instead of doing it at night! haha. :)

Arrr!

Ahoy Cap' n Slappy! so today is talk like a pirate day, aye. ARRR u back mingdao! haha. well, me hearties, i happened to chance upon some US dude's blog by accidentally clicking the next blog link on tng's blog and it led me to his post of today being talk like a pirate day. seeing the "arrr" by mingdao on my tagger, i read his blog and hey! it IS an international holiday! haha. how amusing! how come we dont get such stuff in sunny ol singapore?

they've got cool piratey parties and all on the 19th of sept, which was the founders ex-wife's birthday. haha. funny how they derived with a date like that! read the link NOW and u landlubbers would understand! hurry! its so funny! smartly, me lass! now! haha.

i think the piratical lingo is getting to me. now i see the fun in having such a holiday. the silliness in its entirety. i guess the whole point of having such a dumb holiday is the point of having no point at all! haha. yay! cheers, ye! jump on board! finish me grog, i shall! and back to me chambers while u head for the bilge, u bilge rat! Arrrr, mingdao, ARRR!

MORTENS!!

i want my beef, beef, beef!! my 2hundred thousand dollar steak. yumyumyum! darling, u better read this, coz im hinting. muahaha. i want my beef beef beef!!! dont stop reminding him christine! hahha..yayyy!!

In Christ Alone

this song has never failed to encourage me. hope it does as much for u, as much as it has for me :)

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This conerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

pew warmer, church goer, hand shaker.

hey, maybe my efforts in trying to drag the people i care most about down for the musical paid off, in some way or another. i wouldnt know for sure, but i do hope and pray that somewhere deep within ur hearts, God spoke to u somehow.

its scary to think about how the end is drawing so near. the signs that the bible had predicted are fulfilling themselves. and its churning a desperate desire within me to rectify my relationship with God. its so natural to pray and thats the scary part. i no longer know whether it's out of mere habit or its because God is a part of my life. i see the people around me getting so spirtitually mature, people i used to be close to. is my lifestyle to blame for the change of friends? what happened to the gloria that used to be so active in church, so on fire for God? its becoming so routine, ive lost the desire to let God in. ive shut him out, slammed my doors straight in his face. he being the gentleman, leaves. i hate that! i hate knowing that my life has become so God-deprived. its way pass habits, its way pass routines, its all about u, Jesus, and i want my life centred around u, not the other way around. as much as the earth revolves around the sun, i want my life revolving around the Son as well. i need u Lord, i need to change this heart of mine. i need to rid all worldly desires and trust in u alone. but why is so difficult? spirit willing, flesh weak? God..help me..

ive been thinking quite a bit lately. maybe its the whole getting a year older routine, but it has made me realise that im not quite the person i used to be. i drink alot more, i even wanna club, and i dont mind smoking as much as i did before. is it solely part of growing up where u'd learn to accept things that u used to hate? i detested smoking and clubbing in the past. what has happened? am i living my life straight out to stumble those that look up to me as what a christian should be? then i must be careful! i need to watch my actions! but shouldnt it take an unconcious effort? shouldnt my desire for wanting to obey and please God show in my actions? rah! what is this! how big a disappointment ive become...

i could sit here all day and lament about what i could have become, or what i should have become. i do know i need to change. and my own human strength isnt sufficient. i cant bear to imagine how much regret i would be living in if my friends in future were to blame me for not sharing christ with them. i cant imagine how judgement day would be like if i were to go to heaven and my dearest friends not, because i hadnt be radical enough to share the truth! i need to get my ass up, stop being a pew warmer, be ablaze for God, stop being a sundays only church goer, be a friend, and not just a hand shaker! i will, i shall! God, i will do u proud!

18092005

waking up today was reallly a chore. the only reason i probably managed to lug myself off bed was coz ben was coming over in the morning and if i didnt get ready by 1130 for the musical, he'd probably kill me for being late! i had such a bad bad sleep simply coz i couldnt stop dreaming.

it was about me having committed 27 offences against the law. so as a punishment, i got shot 27 times at my torso. its funny how everytime i dream about getting shot, or being near death, i never seem to die. ive like got unlimited lives. haha..its pretty amusing i must say. so i was kinda dying, blood choking up lungs, but i had the ability to prolong my death. haha. i was going around saying goodbye to my friends and all, weird..

got to church after ben got over. watched the musical all over again. i mean, it may be the same musical, but no 2 things are ever really alike right? this time, i had irritating aunties seated behind us yakking away about whose son the lead actor was and all. rahh! and i still didnt get to whack the huge giant beach ball. i got balloons, but i want the beach ball!

ben needed to rush back so we left for his place. his relatives were over, and i never really understood about how teochews are loud, rude and arrogant by nature till just now. the uncle saw me and was like, aye boy, not bad, finally found a girlfriend the same size as u. like dude! whats wrong with u! i just met u man! and he wasnt joking. irritating. so we hid in the kitchen and stuffed our faces with pomelo. haha.

had to rush down to hollland to meet the squashies. wasnt all that fun coz i wasnt in much of a mood to meet up i guess. well, its been a long time since we did, but i just didnt have fun. i had my birthday cake, tiramisu again. everyone was sick so i had to finish it by myself. i needed my sleep, i was just plain ol grouchy. bahh!

i dont quite know what happened, and though i was so so sleepy, i had this urge to meet christine. so grace marcus and i went down to grange road to meet her whilst dog training. puppy wasnt down but maxi was. haha. that sweet sweet dog. havent seen like everyone for so so long! owell. and alvin looks like an old old man. haha. i was wondering who that old uncle was seated beside leslie. haha. there was this really pretty mountain dog thingy. or as what christine said it was. haha. looked like a giant retriever was whitish creamy curly fur. haha. so cute. i love big dogs! :) cats just dont do good when u want some rough play. haha.

she needed to pick up her moms bday cake, so i sent her down to toapayoh, after dropping grass and marcus off. got the cake and sent her to lawrys, paragon. had to pick bro from suntec, pick everyone else from home and down to serangoon for dinner at gugu's. i hate driving for long long distances. especially without specs. bahh! im going blind!

King David Musical.

what a long day it has been. and looking at the barely existent hours of sleep i had last night, today was no fun, or so i thought.

i lugged myself out of bed though half asleep coz swimming was at 9. while taking a morning pee, i heard a loud crash! popped my head over the bathroom and was shocked to find my dad sprawled on the ground, trying to stand himself up. i had to grab him before he fell back down again. his back rammed against the side step which resulted in a HUGE lump. his hand was scalded and deemed a second degree burn by the boiling hot water he was trying to pour. all he could do was to scream in pain, shouting for cold water. i was frantically running ard the house looking for icy cold water. my poor poor dad. his skin was falling off his arm. it was truly one horrid sight! bah! what a way to start my morning..

got to swimming, terribly deprived of sleep, shock awoken by my dad and worried sick about his arm, i took it out on the kids. screamed and raved at them for the slightest mistake made. but it was good nevertheless, they swam well today at the very least. :) and thats what counts. ben, trying to make up for last night, came in a cab to pick me up. as usual, was late so i ended up dozing off at the bus stop. was so so so sleepy!

went for lunch at some really lousy wet market near bedok and crashed at bens place. came home and slept non stop till 6 where he had to rush for his game at yiochukang. rah! so tired!

met the rest at home. jia and yyong were early so they came over first. we were all set for the musical. it was good! really, but not as fantastic as what i had imagined. the performance was good, but uncle david's sermon was interrupted by the translation that auntie cynthia was trying to put across. it got pretty annoying after awhile. and not to mention, the irritaitng narrative puppetss. ahwell..BUT, the cute tiny sheep and soldiers made up for it. haha. the songs were pretty good, the noisemakers, light sticks, bahhing and wowwwing were pretty fun! haha. i always knew grace star had awesome interactive stuff for kids, i didnt know kids-wannabes would enjoy it as much too! haha.

hongzhen came over! yay!! we went home to rest for awhile and headed up to mt faber for some good ol arson fun. haha. we burnt lanterns after lanterns. played with sparklers, tried a chain of sparklers but failed, ran around trying to burn everyone elses lanterns since mine went out mucch earlier. haha., we had our christmas tree lighting as a finale. haha. it was good fun! i enjoyed myself loads. and having christine around with my classmates made it all better. perhaps having a combination of my favouritest people around me at the same time has an unexplainable effect on me. it just makes everything better. haha. yay!

mt faber was good, the company was excellent, the joyride round sending people home was fun since it wasnt done alone this time. and of course, hiding from blur ol lionel was hilarious. haha. supper at newton was alright i guess. bumping into van ju nigel and all at newton was a pleasant surprise though ben was sadly not there. hongzhen bitching all the way home about yyong's dying need for her mooncakes was so funny. haha. ah..what else is there left to say, i love today!

WEEWEWEEEWWEEEEWEEWEEWEEEWEEE!!!!

halo dearie. just in case u thought i forgot, i didnt! haha. i know i havent been doing a good job at keeping in touch with u, since ure so very far away, but id write! we'd do snail coz its more fun than emails. haha. u better work hard and save up as much as u can. if u need money, ask me ok. ur da jie would help. so u'd be back this december, hopefully for another encounter. be a good boy in aussie and take care of the tee and the tng there. haha. uve been such a darling, i cant thank God enough for how he has blessed me with u!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

uh, i meant..

happy 18th birthday!!

hahaa..now i can erase everything u wrote in my card last year and send it to u. muahah. and i still cant believe u sent me a happy 18th birthday card last year. haha. ure still dearly missed by me! if u needed to be reminded :) i love u wee wee!

Telok Blangah Castle.

thats what its called, no kid! thats what my darling classmates call my little humble abode anyway. heh. its funny, i realised how ive never once organised a gathering for them to come over. they always head the planning so yay! fantastic. i'm not complaining! :)

today's one of those days where u just wanna stay home and do absolutely nothing though i did quite a bit in clearing those tanks. i just miss having to sit around home and enjoy the presence of nothingness. haha. lovely indeed. since our wonderfully coordinators did the planning, their arrival was just as wonderfully coordinated. xinling thought yyong was gonna open the door and attempted to scare her but ended up jumping right at my cousin instead. hilarious, but it wasnt surprising. who else would this kind of nonsence come from. haha.

so the rest came over after quite awhile. we were starving so we figured we could do with some zhi cha or pizza or whatever that was available at that time. drove down to the market, nothing, bukit merah, nothing. so we decided to pick jay and equan up and take a drive down to clementi instead to get us some food. wise choice, especially the picking equan up part. he was at a bbq with a ton of leftovers. haha. at the state of hunger we were in, any source of food would do, really. haha.

we took almost 2hours by the time we got home. the 3 ladies left back at home were fainting from hunger. haha. food, more food, bbq food, hawker food, freshly baked brownies, my birthday cake, rounds of booze, heartattack, presents, MY present. uh, presents. haha. will post photos when i lay my hands on them. awesome it was. i love my present darlings. yay!

we really wanted to go up to mt faber for some lantern burning but after we sent jia home, after gearing up with candles, a lighter and some twigs, it decided to pour. how timely. we drove up anyway, and waited for the rain to come in. it was such a sight! watching the rain pour in from sentosa. we snapped as many shots of us as we could and dashed back into the car. hahaha.

still very much in the photo frenzy mood, we set both cameras on 20multishots and placed them at different corners of the room while we jumped around like lunatics trying to pose for every shot. it was really reallyreally funny. haha.

man, i really love u guys. just thought id be good to let u guys know that every effort invested in making yet another gathering a blast has paid off. u guys have been more than i could ever ask for, more than i could ever imagine. i wouldnt have got this far without u all. yay!! :)

New Clean homes everyone!

what a feat! my mom was clearing out my dads books and told me to clear my room. but it was so so dusty i didnt quite feel like doing anything. lazed around a bit and got down to clearing everyones tank. hehe..

i started with the lizard. man his tank stank like nobodys business. was so crap filled. bahh! my guy's toilet trained, so its easy to clear out his shit but he needs some real scrubbing. got him out and threw him in a basin of water. that fella freaked. so cute. haha.

cleaned his tank, the gerbils' tank, the fishy tank and the cricket tank. man..my house is tank infested. haha. wait till i lay hands on the bearded ive been wanting to get. muahaha..

birthdays! i love birthdays!

i do i do! coz it gives u the power to command people around. hahaha. evil, i am, i know! haha. yesterday was awesome. never quite had a birthday like that. last year was spent in the hospital with bens mom. and there was school too. im finally free from school and yay! wonderful birthday was spent. haha.

i woke up early, ten oclock is early. didnt wanna spend the entire day in bed so i lugged myself out of bed and went for breakfast with my parents and macs. haha. im such a kid. i ordered the happy meal for myself..and a sausage egg mcmuffin. heeheehee..yumilicious. i love mac breakfasts. they do good to people. haha.

got home, lazed around and christine came over to accompany me while ben was in school. haha,we were waiting for him to get home so we could leave for underwater world together. then mom told us to take the car out for lunch so we went to pick ben up from school and decided on chinatown chicken rice and char kwuey tiao for lunch. i didnt know chinatown was in ERP! how annoying, and i refused to pay for erp so we made a turn and we ended up at killiney. good choice made anyway. we got home with a load of chee chong fan and porridge and kaya toast and nonya kuehs and a load of other stuff. trust ben to do the shopping, ud get that excessive amount of food. hahha. lunch at home was good, was fun. haha.

off we went to underwater world. mom dropped us off and the sentosa dude let us in to drop off. usually theyd charge the driver and car as well but they didnt. thank God. haha. underwater world was so cool! havent been there ever since i was a kid. and it had like all the cool exhibits. the dolphin lagoon, which the underwater world was affiliated to was closed for maintenance so we had to give that miss. it was awesome in there, apart from the million indian dudes that were pushing and shoving around. bahh. i have photos! but i gotta get it from ben first. and it was stupid coz his camera decided to faint half way, leaving us with like a load of pictures of the fishies but barely any shots of us. rahh! stupid.

i had fun nevertheless. there were these two cool seahorses called the leafy and the weedy. its so so so pretty! God is truly amazing! man!

so thats weedy, and the one below's leafy. though not a very good picture, the ones we saw were a billion times prettier! haha

i got dragged by christine to tattoo my ankle. its was really really fun. haha. we both have lizards on our ankles now. we wanted to drag ben too! wanted to force him into a butterfly. haha. cool butterfly it would be since he always says he's from the butterfly gang. heehee..so funny..my skin looks so so dry there! haha

we wanted to try the trapeze thingy but i guess we'd have to save that for another day. when ben isnt around coz if he were to try, both his arms would pop. haha. we got home, lazed around, showered, showered the cat too! and went for dinner. the place ben wanted to bring us was jammed packed..so we had to give that awesome jap teppanyaki sashimi alarcarte buffet a miss. rah.. we made do with some jap restaurant with awful services at paragon. christine came along. it was so so fun! haha. i dont recall having a time off from laughing. heehee...got to crown prince for ice cream and headed home.

what a perfect day it was. not that it was birthday, but it was made perfect by the 2 favouritest people in the world. my boyfriend, and my bestfriend :)

underwater world!!

there's just this thing about birthdays.

it makes me think i'm three.

i wanna go,

to the underwater world,

and have a seafood feast!

haha..how dumb. im sure i can do better. ive written many limericks i've realised, and yes mingdao, i wrote some for u too, but decided not to post it. haha. because it didnt make sense. i would probably win the most nonsensical category. haha. yay...! i'm off to the underwater world tmr! i'm such a kid! haha. i cant get to sleep!!

bentoot

its funny how a year flew by like that, now im a year older, but i still feel very much the same in every possible aspect of it. mentally, spiritually and well, maybe not physically. ive grown larger. haha. theres more of glor to love now. :)

have i not aged? have i not matured through the past year? oh dearie me, that aint good is it? my bad, perhaps.

i spent the entire day doing absolutely nothing since i spent practically half the day sleeping. or lazing around in bed at least. it was boring..plain boring but i quite enjoyed it..at first. i refused to budge, refused to do anything of worth. i'd rather watch wonder woman, or judging amy than do anything else. i didnt even eat! haha. i sat in bed, getting pissed at stupid stomach cramps that chose to come at a perfect time like this. so i took it out on poor ben. he had finished his last paper today, and decided to head home to sleep first before coming out to meet me. i called him at 645, when he was supposed to wake at 630 yelling at him to get out of bed. he had to take the brunt on it all, carrying the accumulated boredom+anger+crumminess, taking it at face value. my poor stress ball, he doesnt deserve this at all, nope, not one bit. i acted as if the world had offended me. terrible! time to change!

when we finally met, ben bought me a bag of kaya toast to apologise for waking up late though he doesnt know what he's done wrong. such a guilt tripper! haha. such a darling, i mean. heehee.. we had dinner though both of us barely ate. its rare having so much food remaining during a dinner together. caught a retarded movie, the caves, its like a combination between aliens and resident evil. finding a cave thingy, aliens involved, weird creatures at least, u get bitten, u get infected kinda thing. haha. predictable.

took a long walk after. walking along orchard at that time gets pretty interesting. u see pple gearing up to go clubbing. u see people hanging out on the streets doing who knows what. haha. we stood around, listened to a lousy rendition of hotel california at indochine. walked on, and midnight came! yay! happy bday glor! haha. he got me a cross. a necklace. whitegold. yayyy..just what i wanted..and no, i didnt hint for it...! haha

i read the card. and it almost made me cry. its rare to see ben write. its rare to see him verbalise his feelings. and its even more rare for his hand writing to be so neat! haha. not everyone is as blessed as u, mingdao. haha. baby, ure such a darling..

i look back through the past year, and thought of how difficult it was for us to be together. how bad a timing it was when u came into my life. how terrible it must have looked getting together at a time like that. how bad a reputation we had created simply because we fell in love. i no longer care about what others think. and i believe if God hadnt put us through that shit, we wouldnt appreciate every day spent as much as we would have now. u came with one hell of a heavy price, (big items, big pricing..haha) but i never ever would regret paying. i love u, more than u ever think i would.

Watch your thoughts,

they become words.

Watch your words,

they become actions.

Watch your actions,

they become habits.

Watch your habits,

they become character.

Watch your character,

it becomes your destiny.

bloody monster

what the heck. who gets their bloody period before their birthday. and of course, not forgetting the compliments of cramps. bahhh! i hate this..

Halohalo bar!

FRIDAY, 9th SEPTEMBER 2005

haha, halo bar should be licensed under my name. i should patent my halohalo!! haha. though its over due, its never late to add photos to my photo deprived blog.

the sunblushed girl and i!

so i guess it happened like that, a bunch of kids, curious about a bottle of chivas...

some innocent hand games...

and there. gone like like a wasted penguin. haha..mess with the alcoholic queen, u'd die like that..muahah..

everyone! well, almost..

boycott, girlcott, everybody cott cott..

haha..my week's abstainance from blogger paid off aye. exams are finally over. and if i had continued to blog as frequently as i did before, i wouldnt have studied half as hard! haha, yes yes, glor did study ok..shes a nerd by nature if u didnt know. haha.

i did entry, however, which wasnt posted up since it was done last night at 3am. and i wasnt supposed to touch the net till exams were over..so yay. haha. ive been proven guilty of having high selfcontrol. haha. yay for that! then again, it really wasnt due to exams but rather how i lost my post of yet another monster poem. one long long sotry about monster ulcers. haha. darn, i hate it when that happens.

i feel funny, i feel as if my heart's anticipating a load of activities ahead for the next alot of days, but my brain cant quite remember what it is. haha, getting old, i am. bahh..tv time!

what have i done for Him?

having not blogged for quite a bit means i havent been keeping track of my life for the past week. and it feels strange not having something to look back upon. i used to journal, at random times of my life where i really needed an outlet to express thoughts that wouldnt be read by anyone. it was a good habit, as what my dad would say, and he even published journal writing materials! it was called the spiritual journal where it had different categories to fill up on a daily basis. there was ur journal part, and the things to thank God for, things to pray about, things u wanna change..it was good, and i remember using it quite frequently. it kept my quiet time in check, my daily walk with God in check, it made me thankful for so many things that were small yet significant, it made me take note of prayer items i needed to pray about. i used to pray so much! i realised. i used to pray so fervently and unceasingly, and i dont know where all that desire got chucked to. i need to pray, i need to ask God for direction for my soon to be directionless life. i used to have an 'appreciation sunday' entry in my journal to thoroughly reflect and think through the past week in retrospect. what happened to that? technology has advanced aye, journals are replaced by blogs and e-journals. but shouldnt it still be as God centred as it was last time?

so i'm up, its almost 2am, ive an accounting paper in less than 7 hours, and a following paper straight after. i need my sleep, all logic tells me i should turn in, but i choose to write. i need to write. i need to express my feelings of late. i need to encapsulate the essence of whats going through my head right this instant, since feelings are temporal aye..who knows what ure gonna think or feel not just 5 hours from now, 5 mins even, feelings can change given just 5 seconds. a mighty brain we have, supported by the mighty heart we have, created by our mighty Lord amen? haha.

i got out of the shower, and saw my dad kneeling down in prayer in the living room. he never prays in the living room, just his conference room or his own bedroom. so i asked him what was wrong, he said he needed to pray for me, and so he did. and i asked him again, whats wrong, pop? he just looked so, i dont know, i dont quite know how to explain. so in pain. just looking at him brought tears to my eyes. he has been having such bad skin irritations its causing him to suffer so greatly. its been half a year..who has rashes for half a year! rashes that turns to boils and pus-sy wounds. and he's still so faithful. so very faithful. he thanks God again and again for renewing his life physically. for 'changing his skin' literally. not a word of complaint, not a word of agony do i hear from him, but a heart filled with thanksgiving, of faith that God will heal. all i wanted to do was to break down and cry, and pray for him, but i didnt. i walked back into my room after saying goodnight. what kind of daughter leaves his dad when hes in dire need of companionship? where is God in my life? do i still know how to pray? i know ive strayed. but this is just too far! way out of comfort..where is that first love when he touched my heart for the first time. in the dark little corner of my heart boxed up for sunday services? it isnt just a religion. and i know that so well! its a relationship, with the one true living God, our saviour, our king, our teacher, our father, and our best friend. what has he done to deserve such an unfeeling, unloving child who only cheapens his death on the cross, taking for granted that he laid down his life for me, for MY sins, for MY salvation. he has given me life, he has been faithful, what have i done for him?

King David Musical.

yes, its the one ive been doing props for. its a kids musical, their childrens day special, and ive watch bits and pieces of their rehearsal and theyre so darn cute. my church kids are one dynamic bunch, really. haha. anyway, details are below.

Grace Methodist Church (thats next to my house if u didnt know)

17th September 2005 Saturday

2.30pm and 7.30pm

18th september 2005 Sunday

11:30am

there are 3 shows, so i guess theyre expecting a lot of people. thats why ud have to book tickets with me. tickets are free of course, but its a must. tell me asap! :)

Family Business vs Freedom of Independence

i remember asking a few random people years back whether it was better to be in a rich family with parents too busy making money and replacing lost love in monetary means, which also means getting that latest gadget or handheld or dream car even just by trashing out a wad of cash. or was it better to be in an average family whose parents have all the time in the world since family is their utmost priority, though getting an old can-do mp3 player would require discipline in saving up. with obvious reasons, the latter was usually chosen. who wouldnt choose parental affection over money.

fine, with the obvious settled, next came the importance of having a fixed paved out route to take upon by continueing the family business or passing out into the workforce, fresh and inexperienced to challenges that laid ahead. maybe its the cause of me battling over work or studies first that urged me to writing this, that may be irrelevant to most who would ever read this, but whatever the case, mind not my musings. i have to go on.

it would be simple to carry on the line, haha, sounds like providing the family with a grandson, but would that be what u truly desire for the rest of ur life? maybe its by default, by ur entire life's worth of brainwawshing by ur parents that this is the path to choose, that ur very purpose of existence in this world was to carry on the family line, then what about ur own asipiration? provided they were even given a chance to birth, to develop, to actualise into something substancial enough to argue and fight for.

for instance, my dad would be thrilled if i carried on his family life education counselling centre. or be a child care teacher, to carve young minds and shape young hearts. or a missionary, a pastor, an evangelist. but would that be my calling? i dont know, though i highly doubt so. i might just wring the poor kidos' neck on the first day of school. my brother ended up being an engineer, as what my mom had wanted, my sister, a major in sociology, as what my dad had wanted, both taking the ac mg route up to acjc and straight into university. since there isnt another parent to fulfil their dreams, and since ive already broken the trend to enrol into a polytechnic, though not on purpose, maybe its a sign that i will be different.

fulfilling ur parents dreams may be important, but in this case, id rather be selfish. id choose to be selfish. id rather my own freedom of choice in deciding where my life would end up than being what u wanted to be but never had a chance to. sure, u can guide and stand by me, supportively just as a parent should, but to usher me straight into a path id rather not take upon, id stand firm and be adamant, because u know my answer. my desperate plea, that someday u will understand that 'no' doesnt mean i dont love u anymore. 'no' doesnt mean i choose to disobey. 'no' doesnt mean im rebelling in utter defience. maybe, all it means is that its time to let go, and let me experience life the way God had intended, not how u had intended. 'no' means i want my freedom of independence, that i'm mature enough to undertake this new lease of life ahead of me. but 'no' also mean, as crazy as it seems, as difficult it is to comprehend, that i still respect u, that i still love u. so yell at me if u have to, id understand, because someday, i would be a parent too.

piss me not, mate!

showers do good to people. i remember how i used to hate showers. id procrastinate, laze around and do just about anything apart from getting into the shower. im sure lionel can relate to this. and now showers are like the perfectest things in the world. haha.

i had one hell of a crazy night. i had live stand up comedy. it was hilarious. was supposed to meet them but they chose halo bar over everywhere else. man, there are many other better places to go..why halo? ive been there once and i dread that place already. so i went down to the club to meet ben at around 10. they were watching the nz vs aus in the tri nations game. cool game, all blacks won as usual. haha. with their fantastic scoring tries. haha. ananda supplied me with bourbon so yay. game and ben and drinks, and the huge ventilation fan thingy that was blowing straight at our faces. VIP seats, they were. haha. damien and ananda turned back and saw us and kept saying thats how we'd look 50years down the road. booze, on a couch, holding hands, watching the game. haha. funny.

no girlfriends were down. apart from nat, but it wasnt all that bad since there was an ongoing match. missed the food though, and i was starving. after the game ended, we gathered round to talk while the older dudes set off for 1nightstand. and it was worth giving up for. nanda, damien, the kiwi and the scottish italian dude kept jacking each other, it was hilarious. everyone was in their semi-half drunken state. man was it funny. just before we left, everyone got up and pissed at the tractor. bad stuff there. haha. we walked around the area after, and ananda hollered at some random couple with a roadside cone thingy. was so funny. and he attacked some trishaw uncle. hahaha..

ben wanted newton, and a ride home with ananda, so i left with darius, who is new to the club. pretty fun hearing him talk about how fascinated he was with the club, and that SRC couldnt even match up to being a tinge close to welfare for the sections. man, i love the SCC.

bloggerdeficiency

bahh..the stupid internet's down again. and its all my fault. well, not really. its my finger's fault. for being so touchy with buttons that are labelled no-no coz it doesnt understand what it means. but curiousity killed the cat right? curiousity killed my laptop this time, and i'm certain my finger's to blame for it. haha

it feels like forever since i last blogged. considering the number of entries i post a day. and its only been 2 days! haha. terrible, iam.

everywhere, for the past two days, had been so so accesible. and ive been spoiling myself too much i dont quite wanna go anywhere without a car or a sweet ride. it aint good. i'm missing out on my daily dose of fun, but i,m sure id make do. laziness has its price to pay too!

i had my virgin pump yesterday. hahaha..i pumped up the tank for the first time in my life yesterday. now that was fun. i couldnt stop smiling at the uncle who was filling up my tank. i didnt know pumping petrol could be so fun. haha. i skipped, well, almost, all the way to the cashier to pay. hehehehe...boy was i high. high on gasoline perhaps. haha. and it was a pump of only $20 bucks! cheap thrills are cheap afterall. and she gave me a 10% discount too. thats 2dollars off, yay am i one happy girl! haha

since we had the car, we could go anywhere rightoz? so we did!

after i sent the parents off to the airport, had the breakfast with the them, and shoo-ed the them towards the departure the gate. i brisked walked to the car doing one of those liwei-charlie-chaplin-kick-the-heel thingy. haha. and it came almost naturally, really. haha.

so we rid the parents, went to pick the ben, from the house, drove to the school, had stuff on, and drove to the qianhu, then to the farmart to see the really pathetic site of the singapore's the version of a the farm. it was really in a badbad condition. i've got the photos to the justify, but my face being in the photo kinda makes it all the better already. haha. so we headed to nowhere exploring the singapore of the farms. many many. then the army campsites. passed the armour, and the cemetry, and the egglaying house, and the airport runway, and the place where the refuse resides, and the police coast guard place. all the way till we met with the dead end. no jokie manoz. we had to turn around and travel the same route which cost us another hour of our little 'roadtrip', and alot alot of petrol. it was fun! haha and not as tiring since i refused to be the one chauffering us around. hehehe..the wonders of boyfriends. yay!

so it was a good weekend afterall. gotta meet the rest right about now, though ive been procrastinating for the past alot of hours ever since i got back from swimming. oh yeah, speaking of which, i scolded the hell of this boy today. i felt so...teacherly. so authoritative. haha..was cool. i grabbed him by his arm and he tried to struggle and i..ah..shant mention. but it was cool finally being the adult in a situation. the big two o's coming up. that means exams are coming up too. and that a particular someone would be in the army by then. and maybe everyone else would be too busy to care. i love birthdays, but they sometimes get u all nostalgic about previous birthdays, sorta like christmas. but i guess its part of growing up. and u wouldnt really know what ure gonna get till u pick a path right.

off, i am, to the far away land,
to meet my friends, my foes, and my ben.