Jealous of my beauty? You should be.
Just think how lucky Nate feels right now.
I found myself writing this post a while ago. I guess I wrote it for more myself than anyone else which is why it sat in my unpublished posts for a while. Tonight I was in need of this little gentle reminder...
(watch out, I'm going to get all serious on you)
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"Get on your knees and thank Him for His goodness to you, and express to Him the righteous desires of your hearts. The miracle of it all is that He hears, He responds, He answers, not always as we wish He might answer, but there is no question in my mind that He answers." Gordon B. Hinkley
There I was, the 2008 version of myself- 3 kids, a husband fresh out of dental school, a move across the country, living in my parents basement.
I had a plan. It was simple. Nate would find the job of his dream- steady and high paying. We would upgrade from a one car family to a two car family, and speaking of upgrading, we would get rid of our minivan that had faithfully made the 2,135 miles drive from Philidelphia. We would live with my parents only temporary until we found the perfect house to settle down in. And we would live happily ever after.
My plan couldn't have been further from reality.
The world that I lived in felt like such an unhappy one. Nothing was going the way I had planned it would. Which was really quite a bummer, because my plan was a pretty good one.
Instead Nate found a job that required an hour long commute one way. He worked long hours with another dentist, who in return paid us nearly nothing. I spent months trying to get a home loan figured out so we could buy a house, but no one wanted to lend us the money. What started out originally as a 3 month plan of living in my parents basement, turned into a year. I felt like I was treading water, barely able to keep my head above it. Gasping for air at times.
It didn't make sense, how could a plan that felt so right turn out so wrong?
That time became a time of prayer and faith, a time of being reminded that sometimes the plan that we have for ourselves is not always the best plan.
It was about mid-November, when a friend from dental school called and offered Nate a part time position in his office, which eventually turned into a full time position, which eventually turned into an opportunity to buy into a partnership.
Things started to look up. We were able to buy a second car and after months and MONTHS of trying we were able to get a loan to buy our very first house. The kids started school and I began to find friends and feel like I was a person again.
I look back on that 2008 version of myself and feel grateful that I (but really we, both me and Nate) were able to push through it. I can see now that what we went through then were stepping stones to get us to where we are today. And whatever we may be going through today, will bring us closer to an even greater plan that Heavenly Father has in store for us.
And hopefully, one day, that plan will include getting rid of our sad little minivan.
But for now, I am reminded that faith is an ever continual process; that this life that we live is meant to refine us; and that our plans, no matter how amazing and perfect they may seem, are not always what we need.
"Faith in God includes Faith in God's timing"
Neal A. Maxwell
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