I had a dream...

A few nights ago I dreamt that I birthed a severely defective child with a striking resemblance to Sloth from Goonies.... "baby ruth"

According to the dream dictionary:

"This dream refers to your fear in the outcome of some decision or project. You are trying to overcome difficulties in your life and achieve inner development.

To dream of giving birth, suggests that you are giving birth to a new idea or project. It also represents a new attitude, fresh beginnings or a major upcoming event."

As much as I love "giving birth to new ideas and achieving inner development", I'm just thinking it means I NEED HELP of the professional kind. Or it could be a sign to either not have a 4th child or just make sure to load up on prenatal vitamins and cut back on the red bulls before I get pregnant. I'm just saying...

Oh, and last night I dreamt that a bear was attacking my family and all I did was hold the video camera to catch it all on tape.
Can you say, highest viewed video on youtube?

Apparently, that denotes aggression. Go figure.

And speaking of "Baby Ruth", *Macie attempted to eat her own poop.
That wasn't a dream.
Unfortunately, it was reality.

*at least that's what she told Abrie & Kaleb. I'm hoping that it was a joke... but then again, I wouldn't put anything past Macie and her strange eating habits.

Abrie...

She's 6.
She likes to jump rope.
She likes to dance.
She listens to Hannah Montana.
She practices her cart wheels and her handstands...

...and now she texts.

Paving My Road

There's a little phrase that I like to use from time to time and it goes a little something like this,

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"

This can be one of my favorite phrases if executed properly, e.g. :

I casually stroll to the garbage to throw something away and notice that the moment I open the lid crusty bits of stale, old cheerios start spilling out and banana peels that are a lovely shade of brown are trying to make a quick escape to the floor. That's when I turn to my husband and ever so lovingly say, "So, ummmm, honey I thought you were going to take the garbage out?"

That's when Nate in return and ever so lovingly says, "Oh, ya I forgot. I was totally going to do that." (except Nate wouldn't use the word TOTALLY. I threw that in there for dramatic effect)

Then I respond in my best Stepford wife voice by saying, "You know Nate, the road to 'H' is paved with good intentions" (I usually give him the censored version because I'm concerned about his eternal salvation. I want to make sure one of us makes it to heaven).

* * *

Lately I have had the best of intentions. What I am lacking is the actual follow-through part and it's not just on things like taking out the garbage.

"It is not good enough for things to be planned - they still have to be done; for the intention to become a reality, energy has to be launched into operation."

Walt Kelly

You mean it's not just good enough to think about it?

You actually have to DO it?!
I'm pretty sure I didn't sign up for this.
Is it too late to get a refund?

Would it be possible for me to be able to do the THINKING part and hire someone else to do the DOING part? Because I'm afraid my road is getting paved a little too quickly.

A word on bubble blowing...

Don't inhale.

Ouch!

or alternative post title: Come On Baby Make it Hurt So Good!
(It just didn't sound quite right though)

Think this looks painful?!

How about spending $1000 to fix a $25 problem on a mini-van that will probably out live cockroaches.

IT.JUST.WON'T.DIE.

(It's both a blessing and a curse)

*For all the literal people... I know there's at least one or two of you out there: I realize that cockroaches only live up to two years (yes, I looked it up). I'm just being facetious. You know, like a joke? Haha, funny? It kind of kills it if I have to explain it.