The Tale of "The Tent of the Anti-Christ"

And so the story starts about 3 years previous to this day...

As we all know, free is better than not free. Who cares what you're getting as long as it's free, right?...Wrong. Sometimes those free items are free for a reason and are better left being free to someone else. Are you following me?

I must say that I am a strong supporter of free and I frequent craigslist.com's free section quite often. I, myself have found some cool free stuff. Not only do I regularly check it, but my wonderful, free seeking husband does as well.

One particular evening (while I was out of town) Nate was doing his regular check of craigslist free section when he came upon the title, "The Tent of the Anti-Christ... FREE". Anything that says Anti-Christ can't be good, but it does say the word FREE and how bad can free be? And so the internal struggle continues with Nate. To click or not to click, that is the question. Finally, the word "FREE"became too compelling for Nate's inner free seeker and he clicked.

The page opens up and in front of Nate is a long detailed story about this tent that a man had bought and how this tent has brought him much grief and pain. Not only was this story long and drawn out, but it was also written in scripture form; something to the effect of, "And it came to pass that there was a tent. And this tent had wrought much sorrow and grief against his owner, for this tent was called the tent of the Anti-Christ". This man goes on to explain how he's tried, on several occasions, to set this tent up and each time he's failed miserably.

Due to the fact that this tent is un-set-up-able he wants to give it away to someone, anyone, who'd be willing to take this devil tent away. The only catch to getting the free tent was to respond back to him in scripture form why you deserve the tent.

Now Nate, being the son of his Father, has an inherited love of tents. And Nate, being a man who likes free, could not deny his desire for a free tent. And Nate, not having much to do and trying to fill the void missing his wife came up with an awesome and clever response which still makes me laugh to this day.

Needless to say, Nate "won" the tent and he became the new proud owner of the "tent of the Anti-Christ".

The "tent of the Anti-Christ" has found a new home at the bottom of our storage room and it has been sitting there patiently waiting to be set up for about 3 years... that was until Nate became inspired by his brothers blog . So Nate decided to pull out the massive tent and try to set it up. After all, it can't be that hard to set up, could it? I'll let you be the judge.

5:30 pm- Nate pulls the tent out eager and excited to face the challenge of the "tent of the Anti-Christ".
Status of the tent: Out and ready to go. The score: Nate- 0, the tent- 0

6:00 pm- my brother in law walks over to get in on the tent action. After all, two heads are better than one.
Status of the tent: piled up on the ground. Score: Nate- 0 points, the tent- 1 point

6:30 pm...7:00 pm...
7:30 pm...
8:00 pm- despite what it may look like, Nate is not tying a noose. He's frustrated, but not that frustrated. My brother in law has given up, but my honey is bound and determined... this tent will go up.

Status of the tent: still on the ground. Score: Nate- 1 point for determination, the tent- quickly climbing to 5 points

8:25 pm-Nate threatens me with my life if I don't put away the camera. So I kindly oblige, but not before I take another picture.

8:30 pm- Nate decides to try the aerial approach and steadies the poles with a rope hanging from the tree. Of course it would be much easier to set this tent up with two sets of hands instead of one, but if I was helping set up the tent who would be taking the pictures. I play a very important role in this whole ordeal. I shout words of encouragement to let Nate now he has my full support.

Status of the tent: flat on the ground.

Score: Nate- 2 points for his skills and ingenuity, and 1 extra bonus point for bending over (wink, wink. Nudge, nudge), plus another 2 points for having to be married to me. The tent- 6 points. Me: negative 2 points for sexual harassment and untimely sarcasm.

9:00 pm- Daylight's fading fast and the sprinklers are about to come on. Nate reaches the sad realization that this tent might never fulfill its full potential as a tent and may forever be used as a tarp or (if we don't have any money) curtains. In defeat, he packs away the tent after 3 and 1/2 hour battle.

Final score: Nate-5 points. The tent-7 points

Nate may have lost the battle with the "tent of the Anti-Christ", but the war is definitely not over. I'm sure Nate still has some more fight left in him. And for those of you who are interested in reading Nates response to the craigslist add that won him this cursed tent just let me know. I have it saved and I'll post it.

Utah or Bust: Road Trip Review

Here we go. I'll try to make this quick and painless...

DAY 1- Leaving Pennsylvania

The last view of HOME as we start our new adventure. Let us all have a moment of silence for Colony Arms apartments and their brown water and non-functional washers and dryers.

Feet up on the dashboard, wearing my favorite pair of jeans, kids are well behaved, things are going good... but it's only been an hour since we left. Then we realized Nate packed his wallet in our moving truck. We say a quick prayer that we don't get pulled over and call it good.
Meet my Dad. He likes to eat hot dogs and by the looks of it, it must be a good one.
Me and the boy.

Day 2- Pennsylvania to Ohio

When ever things are going good you have to throw in a bad so you can really appreciate the good. So, my Dad's tire on the trailer blew out.

Check out the tire. Not fun. Not fun at all.
Check out all the cars & trucks passing us as we sit on the highway fixing the tire. Not fun. Not fun at all.
Eventually the tire gets fixed and we are good to go.

Here are the kiddo's in their cars seats. They pretty much just looked homeless the whole drive to Utah. Same with their Mom.

Our new GPS= my new best friend

Day 3- Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, & Iowa

We start the drive with tornado warnings. Visions of the Wizard of flash through my head... I'm glad I don't live in the mid west. There's no place like home, there's no place like home.

Then things cleared up and we saw lots of this...
this...

and occasionally, we saw a little of this. (Macie's smiling because she figured out how to take her seat belt off.) Sure, she's cute. But don't let that smile fool you.

Just in case you're into trucking....
I get my kicks at...
Speed limits reads 75 mph...
We are holding strong at 67 mph. I don't recommend following a trailer across the country.
Here we are driving next to my Dad urging him to go at least 70 mph.

Day 4- Iowa & Nebraska

Not only do the wife and kids look homeless, but the husband does as well. Showering is overrated. (PS my husband doesn't usually where girl sunglasses. They just happen to be the only sunglasses available at the time... doesn't he look pretty?! I love you honey)

The tallest things in sight were the windmills. Not much else going on in Iowa.
...still nothing else too exciting going on.
Excitement found us soon enough when my Dad blew out another tire. Not quite the excitement I was looking for.
Still a lot of road left to cover...

Big bridge...
Big buffalo. Just when I was about to lose faith in Iowa and the lack of excitement we came across this awesome white trash wedding. I say that in the nicest way possible...
But honestly, what else would you call it when you see a big yellow bus pull up at a local gas station and out walks a bride, brides maids, and groomsmen all lighting up to have a quick smoke?... I LOVE IT! They sure know how to throw a wedding in Iowa.
Day 5- Nebraska to Utah

With no white trash wedding to keep me entertained I resort to taking pictures of my talented toes. I welcome you to try it as well. It's taken me some time to get my toes up to this level of control and poise.

-Thumbs up-

-Hang loose-
-High Five- or -Spread Eagle- (which ever you prefer)

The first sign of mountains. We're getting close to home. This is the point where the kids start asking, "Are we there yet?"... "Are we there yet?"...over, and over.......and over.
I never thought I would be so happy to see this sign!
We reached the great Salt Lake Valley... This is the place!

If you've made it this far through the post you're a saint. And if you thought that just reading it took a long time, just think of how long it must have taken to actually drive it.... way too long. That's for sure!

Something is Missing

besides my lack of posting and bad sense of humor.



and that something is....

Abrie nearly passed out today after Nate pulled out her first loose tooth ever. I kid you not, the girl almost fainted after the small minor procedure of dental floss, anbesol and a little yank. I guess it didn't help with Kaleb's whispers of, "Abrie, you have blood all over in your mouth!" and, "Abrie, you're bleeding really, really bad". I told him not to do that... we really need to work on his listening skills.

Abrie is anxious for the tooth fairy to come and has high hopes of landing a $10 bill from her. I haven't yet explained that the tooth fairies husband has yet to start working and in the place of that crisp, fresh $10 bill there might be an old wrinkled up piece of paper with the letters I O U written in bold next to a smiley face and a stick of gum... Ok, maybe two sticks of gum and a sticker just for kicks.

Oh ya,

Macie...



and Kaleb...



say HI!

Vacationers Remorse

So I'm back from Cabo and I think it's going to take some time to get rid of this fake Spanish accent I've acquired. It will also take some time to stop knocking on peoples doors and then reply by saying, "house keepeen". No matter how many times I do that it just gets funnier and funnier... really, you should try it.

I missed my kids to pieces, especially the last couple days and nearly ate them up the moment I saw them. Their first response was, "Mom, Mom! Did you buy us gifts!?"... that sure makes you feel loved. So sure enough we pulled out their gifts and gave it to them. Who says you can't buy love?

I just wanted to check in and say all is well on the western front. I have lots of pictures to post and lots of catching up to do. I just need to find the time to actually do it now.

Time For a Little R&R

Rest & relaxation is calling my name... so is the sand, the sun, and the ocean. Nate and I will be donning our sombrero's and flip flops as we head south of the border Mexican style, except we'll be doing it legally. I kid, I kid...

So Nate and I are going to Cabo kid free and care free because, dangit, I think we deserve it!

Here is the resort we will be staying at....

Here I am getting my massage by Fernando....

And here is me and Nate thoroughly enjoying our time together... see how happy we are.

As for the kids, well I'm sure they'll be fine. I'm leaving them with the TV and a dozen boxes of twinkies. They can pretty much watch themselves. Again, I kid, I kid...

Until next time....

Well, We Made It!

The drive was loooong.
The car managed to stay in one piece.
There were no casualties to be had.
The kids were as good as can be expected.
We all have flat buttocks' from sitting so long.
I had to fight the desire within to motion to passing truck drivers to honk their horns just for fun, reminiscent of long road trips as a child.
I have a new appreciation for truck drivers.
The new appreciation soon left when I found, at a truckers rest stop, a ditch littered with bottles of pee.
I have a deeper gratitude for the beautiful country God created for us, even if 1,500 miles of it all looked the same.
The phrase 'are we there yet?' gets old real fast, which makes me think duct tape should have been first on the list of things to pack.
Emily, our new GPS voice, is my new BFF and the word 'recalculating... recalculating... recalculating..' became all too familiar.
I continue to be grateful for Wendy's dollar menu and their 5 piece chicken nuggets.
I think I've gained at least 20 lbs in the past week, which breaks down to be about 6.57 lbs of weight gain a day. I don't know much, but I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing.
I have a renewed desire to make a home cooked meal. (Don't get your hopes up Nate... it doesn't mean I'll actually cook one. I may have the desire to cook, but I still lack the motivation.)
We could have purchased a small Country with the amount of money we spent in gas and had enough left over to feed the hungry and clothe the naked.
The Welcome to UTAH sign was definitely a welcomed site.
The mountains are just as beautiful as a remember them to be.
I display my Pennsylvania licence plates with pride.
I am torn with how I should respond when people ask me where I am from... I think I will just stick with my usual response and say, "from heaven".

So we are here.
It doesn't feel quite real yet.
Life is in limbo.
We are trying to figure out what's next.
Sometimes I wish life could just figure itself out.
But I'm confident that when life decides to cooperate with us, good things are going to happen.

Thanks so much for all the comments! I'm feelin' the love from the West side and the East side and everywhere in between.

Pictures to come as soon as we get our computer up and running. Get excited for red neck weddings, toes on the dashboard, blown trailer tires, miles and miles of cows and grass...
I'm sure you're just burning with anticipation!