I am. I mean, I am tired. (Exhausted.) Having a baby is exhausting, remember? I knew it, but I sure had forgotten what it really felt like. Four kids is a lot to keep track of! I truly feel like I am just barely keeping my head above water, or even not quite.
But dang, I am heart-bursting, eyes-welling, smile on my face, happy.
Today Rebeka, Carter and I went to Portland to meet up with a friend and do some errands. The kids were just so good! It was the longest Rebeka had been in the car since the airport, I think, this side of the Atlantic anyway. She was happy and Carter was so sweet and helpful and funny.
At one point he told me, "Mom! Rebeka has the hook-ups!" Yikes, I hope not!
Rebeka is such a sweet girl. She is so funny and loving and animated. She won't be if you run into me on the street, or see us at a crowded event, but here in our cozy house, for us? She is flipping hilarious. And brilliant. Today marks 12 weeks that I've been her mama, in the flesh, and also 3 months since we passed court. (Court was Dec 3, took custody Dec 9.) She says Dada, Mama, Hi!, and Sissy. Not always, and not always on command, but enough that we know she's really doing it! She copies us when we laugh and she throws her arms in the air to announce how BIG she is. She plays peekaboo, claps her hands, and pulls herself up on e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. She totally and completely wears me out- I can not wait until Joel gets home everyday, but my word, I am head over heels crazy about her. We all are.
Carter is just so big now. He's almost 5, and counting the days. I can not believe my baby, my preemie, my miracle baby is almost 5! I need to plan his party, but thinking about it makes me want to cry, so I haven't yet. He loves his siblings, but right now he and Garrett are so close. They play together very well, usually, and despite having bunk beds they usually sleep together on the bottom bunk. (It's a full sized bed.) Last night Carter came down crying because Garrett refused to snuggle him. He can't sleep without snuggles!
Garrett is usually our resident snuggler, even though he is pushing 8 years old. He is a sweet, sweet, boy (except for when he isn't), and the first thing he does, whenever he walks in the door is love on Rebeka. He hasn't felt great lately, and I think he's still adjusting to being back home from our adventure. At least once a week he asks me quietly, "Mom, when can we go back to Ethiopia?" I ask myself the same thing every day.
As for Maddy, she is growing up way too fast. A few weekends ago we purged her room of all Baby Dolls and dress up clothes. She still has her American Girls in there, but they are set up in the closet. If you go in her room, it almost looks like a teenager room. It makes me so sad how fast she is growing, but I can't help but be so proud of her and thankful. Last night she had a choir concert. She had to sit with the choir and I was close enough to be distracted by the many 'tween' girls who were up and running around, in and out, giggling, and generally showing disrespect to whichever choir was performing at the time. But not Maddy and her friends. They stayed in their seats when they weren't performing, they may have whispered quietly a few times, but they were very respectful and mature. Such great girls!
And so, I am happy. (But I still hope Rebeka girl starts sleeping through the night SOON!)
