you can't do it all

You've probably heard the popular phrase, "God won't give you more than you can handle."  Is that true?  If God never gave us more than we can handle, why would we need to depend on Him?

I might, in fact, argue the opposite!  God ALWAYS gives us more than we could possibly handle on our own. (Not more than our faith in Him can handle, but more than our own strength could handle.)

He did it with Israel.  He gave them the law.  Why?  So that they would realize how incapable they were of keeping it on their own and turn to Him instead.  He gave them more than they could handle so that they'd realize that they need a Savior, Jesus.

Since we are not God, our plates are always filled with more than we can handle, whether we realize it or not.  This is God's grace - so that we'd stop trying to pretend that we are gods and that our strength is sufficient and that all things are in our control and that we have all the resources to make things happen.  He gives us far more than we can handle so that we would turn to HIM, the One True God, who is all-sufficient, all-powerful and whose resources are truly infinite.

So he gives us trials, he gives us insanely busy schedules, he gives us demands that compete with each other, he gives us sickness. He gives us a Standard of righteousness that we could not ever meet.  What is out of your control at the moment? What is causing you anxiety?  What are you constantly failing at?

God has given this to you as a GIFT so that in your weakness, He could be strong.  He has given me these things as a gift so that I would cease my silly striving, know that HE is God (not me, not anyone else).  He will be exalted in our weakness!

it is a...

Okay, before I reveal the gender of the babes in my tums, let me tell you a little story.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Leah.  Leah was pregnant.  For about six weeks during her pregnancy, Leah worked out and bragged about it on her blog. 

But then, all-or-nothing Leah stopped working out as much.  But you see her appetite was through the roof.  But Leah pretty much despised healthy food, so she ate a lotta junk.  She ate McDonald's, Chick Fil A, DONUTS, Ice Cream, Candy Bars, Candy, Coke, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer.  She ate breakfast two to three times a day.  She ate dessert after every meal.  She ate CHEESE, FRIED FOOD, BROWNIES from a box.  She loved every minute of it.

After about three weeks of this lifestyle, Leah went to the doctor for a routine visit.  It had only been four weeks since she last went to the doctor. As per usual, Leah hopped on the scale.  Leah watched as the nurse KEPT SLIDING THE MEASURER-THINGY TO THE RIGHT.  Leah watched in disbelief as they confirmed that she had gained quite a bit of weight since the last appointment. [I'm NOT exaggerating.]

Leah waited nervously for the doctor to enter the room because she feared his reproof.  The doctor said that blood pressure looked good, but when he started eye-ing the weight chart he exclaimed, "Wow!  You had a big month this month!  Did you go on vacation or something?"  "No, no vacation.. that's NEXT month," Leah replied, sheepishly.  "Okay. You were just eating a lot of ice cream because it's so hot outside, huh?" He said.  "Sure," Leah replied.  "Well, let's try to slow that down, okay?" said the doctor.  "DON'T YOU WORRY!" said Leah.

And we will ALL live happily ever after.

You'd think as vain as I am, I'd try to "reign in the cravings" (as Matt would say) just a little bit.  Well, this was a wake-up call.  To be honest, after I worked my bottom off during the previous 4 weeks and I had gained just the right amount of weight, I just sort of wondered if my body would naturally do the right thing, even if I didn't work out.  Turns out... NO.  OH WELLSERS!  At least I got some motivation.

And for the big reveal...

It
IS
DEFINITELY
A




BOY!

I'm super excited.  God is SOOOO good to us - so much better to us than we deserve!  Anyway, I am already picturing Henry and baby 2 being BFFAEAEAE. We have no leads in the name department... so that should be fun.  Perhaps I will put up some ultrasound pics soon.

Twenty Down, Twenty To Go

Here I am, yours truly! 20 weeks pregnant today.  I decided to also sport my new mom haircut and no makeup, so I get a couple of points in the "not being too vain" department. Huh?

People don't even think I'm pregnant, and you can probably see why.

In other news, a friend brought it to my attention that THIS might be the real reason my back aches at night.  And to think I'd blame it on Henry.  (Some of you may not have seen that post if you don't subscribe to my blog with a feed reader.  I took it down, and decided to re-post.)

Happy Friday!!  Here's to 20 more weeks of pregnancy.  (Oh and we find out the gender on Monday!)

Can I have the epidural now?

Like seriously, when I take my naps at about 1:30 pm (every day), I fall asleep NO PROBLEMO.  But by 10:30 pm, or whatever time I try to hit the sack for good, my upper back just pounds and aches, and there seems to be no comfortable position to take me off to dreamland.

BUTTTTT... I'm thankful for this aching back because it reminds me of that sweet toddler that I get to love on all day long!

Also, is it bad that when I toss and turn, trying to fall asleep in bed, that I begin to daydream about the bliss of the epidural?  Probably.  December, come quickly.  JK, JK.  No but seriously, I LOVE me some epidural!

Anyway, on a totally unrelated note, I decided that the ipad (and or iphone, whichever you prefer) is equivalent to 1,000,000 issues of sports illustrated.  Without getting too descriptive, let me just say that my man's bathroom time has definitely multiplied since the ipad came into his life.

This is classic men vs. women if you ask me.  I like to get my business done.  For Matt, the bathroom is like an oasis in the dessert (no, not the dessert, the desert- definitely dropped the ball on that one), a break from the chaos... so he shuts the door and takes his time.

Also, for those of you who found it extremely annoying how much I had been bragging about what a hoss I'd been at the gym, I'll inform you that that last two weeks have pretty much been a bust in that department.  Which is funny because I 1- have a big weigh in on Monday and 2- am going to the beach in less than a month.

"You see, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. It's that I just don't care."- Thank you, Peter Gibbons.

You're welcome.  Goodnight.

"duck"

Henry has some trouble pronouncing a few words.  As a result, he uses the word "duck" for the following words:

-car
-cow
-dog
-duck
-dark
-truck

(On top of that, he thinks everything with wheels is a car or truck, so trains, tractors, airplanes are all also "ducks.")

The other day we were at Barnes N' Noble and there was a picture of Lightning McQueen on the cover of a book, and he was really excited about it.  So he pointed and exclaimed, "A DUCK!  A DUCK!" (Car.)  The ~8 year old next to us thought it was really funny, but it got funnier when two seconds later, Henry spotted a stuffed puppy and pointed and exclaimed, "A DUCK!"

I love this sweet shirt.  It is Paul Frank and it says, "Chicks Dig Scars," and it has a band-aid on the monkey's head.  It was a gift from a little boy who had the same surgery as Henry about a year before Henry did. :)

Henry is obsessed with his "Belly Butt."  He LOVES to show people his belly button.

 I love being that little man's official translator.

just waiting for Starbucks to open...

Seriously, maybe the reason Starbucks is not open 24 hours isn't because of the lack of customers they'd have between the hours of 11pm and 5am. Maybe it's because they don't want to be full of crazy insomniacs like me who shouldn't be drinking caffeine anyway.  Whatever.

I have been tossing in bed since 2:45 am thinking about a slew of things.  Lucky you, I'm just gonna divulge.

1.  What in the WORLD did I DO before I had children?  I'm not going to lie, I hate when people say this.  And I hated it even MORE before I had a kiddo because I was like, "What, you don't think I'm busy?"  So to answer your question, person without kids, trust me, I know that you're busy.  Not the point.  I'll just leave it at that.

2.  Thank goodness babies aren't born as toddlers.  It's really nice that kiddos start as newborns.  Cause their needs actually grow and grow as they get older.  They actually demand a lot more from you as they become toddlers and so on.

So instead of having to start with a toddler who requires SO MUCH attention, it's nice to start with a little baby who doesn't move, talk, eat real food, and who, honestly, sleeps most of the day.  Not that you don't need to give that sweet baby attention!

I remember feeling like it was kind of a pain to have to sit Henry down to feed him real food because it took for-freakin' EVER!  A lot of the transition phases were just rough because they required more work and more time.  (AKA less time for me, which btw is a good thing.)  What's amazing is that eventually you get kind of used to it and you start wondering what you did before you had kids... ha.

3.  Baby in tummy is preparing me for 3am wake-up calls.  Little guy or gal inside of me likes to be active in the wee hours of the night apparently.  He sent me straight to the pantry for a peanut butter sandwich.  While we're on the topic... can I just share a pet peeve?  (Which, mom brain, I have probably shared before.)  There's some certain terminology that people use in the context of nursing babies, which literally makes me want to curl up in a ball and BARF MY BRAINS OUT.

The first one is the word "FEEDING." (When used as a verb in reference to what the baby was doing.)  I used to HATE when Matt would say, "Is Henry feeding right now?"  NO! Henry is EATING.  He is not a pig at the trough.  We don't FEED. We eat.  Don't ask me why, but I cannot STAND when people say that their baby woke up to "feed."  You woke up to feed the baby. The baby woke up to eat.  People do it all the time.

Next.  "I'm just going to give the baby a little SNACK."  (This in reference to breastfeeding just a few minutes instead of a full "feeding.")  A snack? That is just SO GROSS SOUNDING to me!!! Yuck.  I'm sorry, but my kid will not be getting "snacks" from my body.  I mean, if a short feeding is a snack, then why don't we just name ALL the meals?  The first feeding can be breakfast, then brunch, lunch, a snack, dinner, and dessert. Why not?

This is coming from a person who didn't so much love breastfeeding to begin with, so just excuse me if you feel offended right now. 

(Don't worry, that's just about a tenth of the stuff I was thinking about at 3am.)  All that, and Starbucks still doesn't open for another hour!

Nap Time?

Ever since I got pregnant, Henry's naps got really regular.  Actually, let me rephrase that. MY naps got really regular, and Henry didn't really have a choice.  Crib or?  Crib it is.

This extreme feeling of, "Oh my gosh I have to go to sleep right now, or I am going to fall asleep standing up," was wonderful in the sense that I FINALLY had the motivation I needed to let Henry learn to fall asleep in his crib during nap time by crying it out. (Forgive me if I have already told you this before because it's very possible that mom brain + pregnant brain = stories told multiple times, even on a blog.)

In that first two weeks of CIO, he might have actually cried for two hours straight, but I had no idea because I slept through it all. Unconsciousness is bliss.

Anyway, I thought this whole nap thing would go away after the first trimester, so I could actually get some stuff done. But I have pretty much slept every single weekday that I can remember.  Here's my little confession though...

I NEVER know how long Henry's naps have lasted.  He always wakes up before me.  There are days where I am pretty sure he got a dirty diaper like 15 minutes into his nap and didn't sleep at all, but just cried the entire time that I slept.  Based on how he was acting yesterday afternoon, he might not have slept more than 30 minutes.  I think this happens 2 out of 5 days of the week.  Bad momma!

But today I woke up before him!  And now he's awake.  So I gotta go get the guy.  Peace.

Wednesday Wisdom

It might be the last hour, but it's still Wednesday. ;)

I am introspective to a fault.  It's really easy for me to see my own problems and issues.  And it's really easy for me to figure that I am usually the one at fault... This is good and bad.  It's good because I have almost no problem accepting the truth that I am a sinner and that I am in need of Jesus... I feel the truth of that every single day.  It's good because I usually feel the need to fix my own attitude before expecting other people to change.

But this is also bad because after "discovering" these issues, I have trouble looking OUT and AWAY from myself (to Jesus), which is exactly where help for all these "issues" is found.  So, I tend to spend my energy trying to fix myself.  An impossible feat if I might say so myself.

What if instead I spent my energy fixing my eyes on the One who has already clothed me in righteousness and made me whole?  What if I stopped thinking about everything I lack and all I need to do and started being thankful for how God has made me whole and how He has done it ALL!?

For me, it takes a heavy dose of faith to let Jesus carry the burden of my sin and shortfalls.  To fix my eyes on Jesus instead of my own problems takes faith because it almost feels like I am just ignoring my own sin.  But that's not it at all.  I am trusting God to justify the ungodly (myself) apart from works.  I am letting the sacrifice of His Son do it's saving work in my life.

The other reason I tend to feel afraid to take my focus off of myself is because I am afraid some sin will go unnoticed, but this is also a lack of faith.  God is the one who convicts us of sin.  Without God, my vision is distorted - there is no way I could accurately judge my own actions and attitudes by introspection alone.  Once again, if I look to Jesus, I can trust that he will graciously and gently keep his promise of purifying me.  Also, if I am constantly judging myself, how can I be worshiping and trusting God?

I feel free-er just thinking about not thinking about myself!!  Woo hoo!

So, there is a nugget for you.  Although it seems like I am a black sheep - 95% of the people in my life are not introspective at all- so there's a good chance this may not apply to you.

humiliating dressing room experience

I write this post at the risk of sharing TMI, but 99.99% of you are women (I think, minus those of you who choose to share my humiliating stories with your husbands), so I'll go ahead and share WITH THE DISCLAIMER THAT IF YOU ARE MY BROTHER OR MY BROTHER-IN-LAW OR FATHER OR FATHER-IN-LAW OR ANYONE MALE who is also RELATED TO ME, then you might not want to read...

I don't understand why it is necessary that a certain part of my body be "prepared" for nursing a child five months before that child will ever enter the world, but I am not The Creator.  So.  As you may or may not know, when you get pregnant, your belly is not the only thing that grows.

As a result of this, I have paid a visit to the department store to be fitted for a new brassiere.  (I probably wore the wrong size throughout my entire last pregnancy, so I decided it was worth the investment to get some new stuff...)  The first visit I made to the dept. store was in my first trimester, and I was pretty much between two cup sizes (TMI?), so I played it safe and chose the larger size.

Except, just as as your belly keeps growing and growing and growing... so do the other things. Now, I really shouldn't get into these details, but I'm not one of those girls who enjoys this new voluptuousness during pregnancy.  I'm plenty big BEFORE having to be anatomically prepared to feed a child (Definitely TMI).  Like I said, I am not The Creator.

Anyway.  My body is doing such a great job preparing for this child to be nourished, and as a result, I found myself at Nordstrom Rack (no pun intended - hahaha) today to try to get YET ANOTHER, BIGGER BRASSIERE.  I didn't think I needed to be re-fitted, since I did that like a month ago - surely I could just estimate. So... I head to the sizes that, to be honest, I once thought were only reserved for women over the age of 60.  The sizes that you pass in the store and think to yourself, "WHO WEARS SOMETHING THAT HUGE?"  Apparently, I do.

Here's the problem, though.  After searching through the inventory, I found myself with three, huge, potential bras in my hand.  I also found myself completely across the store from the dressing rooms.  These bras cannot be hidden... I considered picking up some clothing to hide them behind, and now that I'm thinking about it I should have done that...  but anyway.

So after I took the walk of shame across the store, I (FINALLY!) ended up at the dressing room where I think I am safe.  Here, I am supposed to tell the attendant how many items I have.  (Or, more idealistically, the dressing room attendant is supposed to carefully survey the number of pieces I am carrying.) Well when I got in line in the front of the dressing room, I noticed that the attendant was a GUY, and he was probably about 24 years old.  Lovely.

Don't worry.  He saw me coming.   He did not make eye contact with my "clothing." And he definitely did not try to verify that I was telling the truth about how many items I had. "Three please," I muttered, as I stared at the floor.  After none of the brassieres fit correctly, I DEFINITELY did NOT return them to the attendant, but shamefully walked back across the store to hang them back up myself.

And he definitely did not ask, "How did those work for you?"

In an ideal world I would have left the store immediately, but I had to face the guy again while I was waiting for Matt to finish trying on jeans.  Lovely Saturday.

reasons why Matt is awesome

(In no particular order.)

1.  HE COMPLETED THE 100 PUSH UP CHALLENGE!  And let me say it was inspirational to watch.  I didn't watch him actually do the 100 push ups, but I watched several of his workouts.  And the most awesome thing about this is that now if we ask Henry to do a push up, he will put both hand on the ground and start bobbing his head up and down = amazing.

2.  HE NOW HAS AN iPHONE and an iPAD.  Yes, this is work related.  Seriously, if anyone in this family was going to go buy him or herself an iphone it would be me.  Matt, if it weren't for work, would still have THIS phone.  The ipad was a (very generous) gift that Matt got as "thank you" for a real estate transaction.

3.  HE'S GAINED FIVE POUNDS in the last TWO MONTHS!!!  Why is this awesome?  Well, you see, after Henry was born, the eight permanent pounds that I put on must have come straight from Matt... because Matt LOST about 8-10 lbs after H came into the world.  My goal in life (okay that's an overstatement) is to WIDEN the gap between our weights.  Matt seemed to be trying to narrow it.  Anyway, I am more than positive that the weight is ALL muscle.  And also, it decreases the likelihood that I will pass Matt in the weight department by the end of my pregnancy.

Should I list some sentimental reasons too?  YES!

1.  He is the most helpful husband on the planet.  Seriously, and if I were my own husband, I might not help me a lot because I am a control freak and I unknowingly and subconsciously criticize him. So instead of saying, "Thanks for running the dishwasher babe."  I say, "Why didn't you try to fit that bowl in there?"  And instead of saying, "Thanks for putting the groceries away babe!"  I say, "You have really interesting ideas about where the groceries go, don't you?"  And instead of saying, "Thanks for changing Henry's dirty diaper, babe!"  I say, "Why don't you use the diaper cream that smells better?"  So, here it is all public for everyone to see... THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO, MATTY!!!

2.  He is LOVING and he works hard to know me and figure me out.  Obviously I don't make sense 95% of the time... and to a man, I don't make sense probably 99% of the time.  (I mean, I just wrote in my last post that I wish I was showing, but like 3 posts earlier, I said that I didn't want to be showing.  Confusing is an understatment.)  Also, I say I want to be healthy and eat less sugar, and then I come home from the store with all the ingredients for smores.  So, I'm thankful that Matt doesn't just roll his eyes and count me to be a crazy (okay sometimes he does), but most of the time, he loves me through it all. And he tries his darndest to get to the bottom of... of me.

3.  I want to be like him!  My man sets a high bar for integrity, hard work, discipline, service, self-control, love, committment, and so many other things... He is so respectable.  I want to be like him.

why Matt thinks I'm crazy

So you know how I've been working out like a freak show?

The other day I said to Matt, "Babe, I'm getting nervous.  I don't feel like my stomach is getting any bigger.  I wish that it was getting bigger, then I would know the baby was okay."  (Mind you, this comment was like 2 days after I went to the doctor and heard the heartbeat - never mind that it took intern nurse like 999 hours to find the heartbeat.)

He laughed and rolled his eyes.  "You are unbelievable."

Clearly, we don't have to go any further here. Obviously it doesn't make sense that I want my stomach to be huge and everything else on my body to be small.  Well that does make sense, but it wasn't all making sense to Matt when I was just spouting it out.

Anyway, so I was having these strange dumb dumb feelings like my stomach wasn't getting bigger, then therefore the child must not be growing, therefore something must be wrong.  So......

I prayed that God would help me feel the baby moving.  Cause up to that point I thought I might have felt it move but I wasn't really sure.  It's a big difference the movement at 40 weeks and the movement at 17 weeks.  And, surprise!  HE DID!  Last night on the 4th of July, I felt a lot of movement. Yay!

Also...  Just thought I'd share another funny interaction Matt and I had last night.  (This actually happens a lot.)

Leah: Laugh out loud to herself.
Matt:  What are you laughing at?
Leah: Nothing - I'm just hilarious.  Continue laughing.

Okay so probably not funny to you, but I think it's hilarious. Obviously.  I know Matt thinks it's super-annoying because my dad does it all the time (laughs at his own jokes, thinks he is funnier than everyone else thinks he is), and we (kids) all usually just roll our eyes at him (lovingly).  Apparently that trait runs in the family.

And if you really want to know, I was laughing at some comments I had written on Matt's Facebook wall (my own jokes).

Happy Birthday, Daddy!!

You are the best daddy ever! (Mom says you are getting new clothes for your birthday, so don't worry that you have the same shirt on in both of these pictures!)

Thanks for feeding me, strolling me, cleaning up after me, coming home early, playing with me, changing my diapers, and so much more.  I love you and so does Mommy!

Love,
Henry

Videos!

Forgive the fact that these videos were created in extremely poor lighting.

Here's Henry walking, playing in the sink (one of his new favorite things to do), and then in the third video he is doing this weird thing he does that's hard to explain... but I will try.

About 6 weeks or so ago, he started this thing where he just tenses up his whole entire face and body like he is flexing it all or something. Apparently it is genetic because Matt's mom said he did it as a child. It is really weird, and he does it totally voluntarily. The funny thing is that Matt still does it (but usually when he is angry). Henry, on the other hand, just does it to make us laugh. Hopefully you can see what I am talking about on the video, but it's kind of tough to get the total effect this way.