3rd post in 24 hours - I'm sorry

I've been feeling sick to my stomach since about 3 this afternoon, and it decided to get really bad about 2 hrs ago when I wanted to go to sleep. On top of that, the braxton hicks contractions that have been harmless up until about oh... now, are starting to make me a wee bit uncomfortable.

So, despite exhaustion, I am not going to sleep anytime soon. Therefore, let's talk BIGGEST LOSER. Shall we?

First of all, I totally took Jillian's side tonight w/ the Red Team saga. Melissa was lying, plain and simple. I'm feeling like if I were on the show, I'd really be ready for Red Team to go home. They can't seem to get along w/ anyone. On top of that they are obnoxious. Bad winners and annoying losers.

If I were gray team, I'm not so sure I would have given Red Team the call home. However, I was happy w/ their decision to let Miggy and Migdalia call home bc I was tired of them acting like victims. Ugh. And I think I would have given purple girl (what's her name) the call home instead of brown team guy. I like the purple girl.

As far as sending Migdalia home... I was a little upset about that decision. I totally would have sent Miggy home if I had a say... maybe even just to punish Migdalia for being a butt about wanting to go home, and also because I think she'd do a lot better there w/ out her mom because they feed off of each other as far the bad attitude and the playing of the victim card goes. Anyway, it was easy to see who the peacemakers were bc they all voted for Miggy to go home. I would have not been a peacemaker in that particular vote.

At my doctor's appointment today I found out that I am already 1 cm dilated, which pretty much doesn't mean diddly squat. Yes, the baby is still a big one. The nurse commented on his supposed broad shoulders. I get to go to the doctor once a week now, which means, just like the Biggest Loser contestants, I have a weekly weigh in.

Friends all around me are having their babies, and it's feeling like time! The day I found out I was pregnant, I also found out that another friend of mine from church was pregnant too. We weren't telling people at that point, but she was due exactly a month before me and just had a baby girl on Monday. It's getting so close, but four weeks feels like a lifetime!

One more thing. I went to a breastfeeding class tonight (and generously let Matt stay home), and it was very informative. But that's not what I want to tell you. The certified lactation consultant who taught the class talked in such a predictable tone and volume of voice. I don't know how to explain this to you, and obviously my brain is really not with it at this point. But, you know she was talking to like 20 people or so, but she didn't raise the volume of her voice anymore than she would have if she was sitting by your hospital bed, talking only to you. It was sort of annoying to me. Half the time I was absorbing her information, the other half of the time I was thinking about how much more I'd enjoy the class if she'd just talk normally.

Do I have anything else to say to you? Probably. And I'm not going to sleep anytime soon, so I might as well just keep going, even if it's bad for the blog. You know, my most popular posts tend to be the ones where I share my strong opinions with you. It so happens that these same posts also tend to get me in trouble in one way or another. I always end up regretting writing them. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

And lastly, I have the best husband out there. I love him. Seriously, I wish you could all get to know the Matt that I know. He's awesome.

Okay, maybe I am tired enough now that I can sleep in spite of the pain I keep feeling.

Love, Leah

Matty Gets Schooled (By the Moms)

I've been encouraging Matt to go to the Total Conditioning class at the gym, and as you know (because you read my earlier blog today), he finally went.

I was really excited to see what he was going to think of it, and as I suspected, it kicked his booty.

I believe he left feeling "weak" and like all the moms had schooled him, too. I'm telling you, it's humiliating.

But he's a real athlete and he doesn't really quit or complain about things, so I am sure no one even noticed that he was struggling. Anyway, feel free to give him a little note of encouragement. He's gonna try to start going more consistently. :)

Ten things I want to tell you on Tuesday

10. Matt's brother, Mitchell, is 17 today. So weird. Happy bday to Mitch!

9. We are getting a new roof today because the hail storm of 2009 left us w/ a leaky roof. Translation = pregnant lady can't sleep till 10 like she has been doing. (I hate to admit that little fun fact, but all new moms keep telling me to sleep as much as possible.)

8. Matt is about to wake up in like 10 minutes, and we are going to the gym together. He is going to do the Total Conditioning class (and I am sure he's hoping he's not the only guy there), though Bobby Bones recently admitted to going to those classes too. Elliptical for me.

7. In case any of you hated me because I didn't have a stretch mark yet last week, I got three beautiful ones w/ in days of the last post. So stop hating me. I did not freak out and cry, for the record.

6. I remembered why I don't watch the bachelor. Because it makes me want to puke every time. Can anyone watch that without thinking that the guy is a total sleazeball?

5. I am 36 weeks along today! Four weeks to go. Doctor's appointment at 10:40 today!!

4. Is it sad that I get excited about anything that remotely resembles a menstrual cramp because I am hoping it has something to do w/ impending labor?

3. THE BIGGEST LOSER comes on tonight!! Also, I follow Jillian Michaels on Twitter. I think she is fascinating, but Matt likes Bob better.

2. We found out last week that Matt is allergic to Tide Detergent. He broke out in a rash all over his body. Is it bad that I was really more upset that I can't use Tide because I really love the smell?

1. And last but not least, I love you, bloggy friends. I really do. ;)

pretty funny

So the other day I was getting ready to go to bed when I saw what I thought was a stretch mark on my belly. You probably would have thought someone had died if you had heard my reaction. Tears. Weeping. I'm talking like WAILING here, for a solid 45 minutes. I basically cried myself to sleep.

Matt, of course, had absolutely no idea how to handle this situation. "It's okay, babe, isn't that supposed to happen?"

"NOOOOO! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. AND I STILL HAVE FIVE MORE WEEKS TO GOOOOOOOOO!" Though it wasn't really that clear because I was crying so hard about it that I couldn't breathe, much less talk at the same time. (Think irrational child throwing a temper tantrum in Target or something of the sort. Got it? That was me.)

So I basically cry myself to sleep for the next 45 minutes while Matt rubbed my back. (He is such a good husband!)

And I wake up to find...

There was no stretch mark.

Yep. :) You know, there is no reward for me telling humiliating stories about myself to you on this blog. I could pretend that I'm perfect, but that wouldn't be any fun, would it?

It happened.

Last night I went on a WILD and crazy nesting frenzy. Cleaning, organizing and reorganizing, painting, laundry and the list goes on.

Anyway, I was taking some of Henry's new toys out of their packages and getting his room in order when IT happened...

Music. Noise. Out of nowhere.

Some sort of classical tune that I should know the name of (probably Beethoven or Mozart) starts blaring out of nowhere. (And no, it does not sounds like the real thing because it's clearly coming from a toy.)

Immediately I get flashbacks of helping in the church nursery and babysitting. I remember having to hear the "ABC" song played over and over in a really annoying voice. "Oh, no," I think to myself, "What in the world have I gotten myself into?"

I've been around kids enough to know... when they learn that their toys have buttons that play music, they will press those buttons over and over and OVER and OVER and OVER again. Obnoxious doesn't even begin to describe it.

I can't say I didn't contemplate sticking that one toy in the Goodwill pile immediately.

Matt's parents tell a story from when he was about 1 yr old (I think). They had to make a really long cross-country trip (like more than 12 hrs, though I don't remember exactly how long). Apparently Matt required them to play the song "I'm a Little White Duck" the whole entire time. And by "required" I mean, if they weren't playing the song, then he was screaming and fussing like a madman. I guess you'd rather hear "Little White Duck" ten thousand times over a crying baby.

My sister and I had a similar experience earlier this fall on a road trip w/ her youngest boy who was probably almost 6 months at the time of the trip. My mom had made up two songs for him, one to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle," and the other to the tune of "Three Blind Mice." We drove to Alabama from Houston, and unless the little guy was sleeping, he was only content if we were singing one of his songs to him. (Over and over again.)

When that toy went off, I got a sweet little glimpse of what I have to look forward to. :)

I guess the moral of the story is that if your crying kid doesn't drive you insane, then their toys or their favorite song probably will. All this, and somehow I still can't wait for Henry to get here. It does, however, make it a little easier to treasure these last five weeks.

*In case you care to know how annoying "Little White Duck" is, I included a link to a YouTube video of it.

Can I really blame being an idiot on pregnancy?

People CONTINUE to tell me that I look small for how far along I am. I mean, at this point, I am happy with that comment, unlike earlier on in pregnancy, when I was totally bothered by it.

But here's what I don't get. They say I look small, but...

1. I have gained all the weight I am supposed to gain, with 6 weeks left to go.

2. The doctor thinks that my baby is quite possibly already six pounds! SIX POUNDS! Meaning that by the end of this week, he will be almost as big as I was when I was born. Meaning that if I go 40 weeks, he will be a 9 pounder.

I am blaming this on Matt who was 9 pounds and like a gazillion ounces when he was born.

Anyway, while we were discussing the HUGENESS of this sweet baby boy inside me, my doctor asked how big I was when I was born.

I answered confidently, "Six pounds, 18 ounces."

He smiled. "That's an interesting weight. What is that... like seven pounds, two ounces?"

Matt chimes in, "Leah, there are only 16 ounces in a pound."

I knew that.

"Leave me alone. I'm pregnant."

It's TUESDAY, WHICH MEANS...

DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT and... THE BIGGEST LOSER!!!!!! Ta daaaaaaaa.

While I've been up in the last 2 hrs, I decided to go to my OBGYN's website and find out more interesting stuff about pregnancy. Since they didn't have anything exciting and new that I haven't read 1000 times already, I decided to read my doctor's bio. (Maybe something I should have done before I picked him, but whatev...)

Well, I found out that my doctor is the PRESIDENT of Austin Area OBGYN, boo ya, and that he actually went to UT on a football scholarship! And if that isn't impressive, then you might be interested to know that one of his hobbies is DRAG RACING!

Anyway, remember the dream I told you about... the one where I delivered the baby at 16 weeks and the only reason he survived is because of the expertise of my doctor (and then he still happened to stay alive, even though we were carrying him around in a plastic grocery sack along with our tennis shoes)? Well, hello, my doctor really is an expert! He "renders expert medical witness opinions and is involved in many FDA Clinical Trials." I am proud.

THE BIGGEST LOSER

I got hooked last season, and told myself that I wouldn't do it again this season... that instead I would DVR it and save them ALL for when I have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed my crying infant. Seems like a better use of time. Nevertheless, I am thinking I can't wait...

Anyway, last week was the season premiere, and several of the contestants lost over 20 lbs in a week! Pretty impressive until you remember that when I deliver my baby, I am going to lose 20 lbs in ONE DAY! Hahaha. I am cracking myself up right now. No but really, I love that show.

I really hate that I waste time watching TV for 2 hours on a Tuesday night, but somehow it turns out that I am never doing anything else... and if I am, we made the mistake of having DVR, so it doesn't really matter. I really need to read more. Anyway, I never thought I'd stoop low enough to look forward to a TV show, but I am there. Between TBL and 30 Rock, I am there.

I am 34 weeks along today!!! Which means 6 LONG weeks to go... but hopefully more like 4 short weeks for EVERYONE'S SAKE. The baby boy probably weighs about 5 1/2 lbs by now!

The end.

my biggest blogging fear

Okay, bloggy blog friends, I am about to get vulnerable so listen up. (I should also mention that I am totally delirious, and I have been entertaining myself over the last half hour by writing on Matt's Facebook wall and changing his profile picture for him, etc.) So, I am laughing as I write this, and I will most likely read this later today, and wonder what in the world I was doing. Nevertheless.

Part of the reason I have not been a good blogger since getting knocked up is because I have an intense fear of boring all seventeen of you to death. Hold on, let me explain.

You see, pregnancy is sort of "all consuming," which really doesn't bode well for Gibbizarre. Half of the time my brain doesn't work at all, and the other half of the time, when it is working, I am thinking about pregnancy, which is fun for the other 1% of you who are pregnant... and possibly for my mom.

I have tried to fix this problem by mentally noting other possible blog topics, but since my brain's default is to go back to thinking about pregnancy, I feel powerless to elaborate on any of those topics... much less be funny and entertaining.

Why am I sharing this with you?

That is a good question, and I really don't have an answer. Actually, I do have an answer. By admitting to you that I know I have been single-minded in my very infrequent posting, I am protecting myself from rejection. If you think It's boring, well, then I said it first. :) Boo ya!

So here's to writer's block and pregnant insomnia brain! See ya on the flip side.

I have NO idea, yo

So I've been asked the question, "How do you picture your labor and delivery experience?" (In other words, how do you think this whole thing is gonna go down?)

Um. Do people think about that in advance? I have NO clue.

But after thinking about it, I realized I probably have some unrealistic ideas about labor.

LIKE...

I always picture myself calling Matt at work and frantically shouting, "I'm in labor! Come home NOW and take me to the hospital!" Of course in my imagination we are forced to make a mad rush to the hospital... in which I may be shouting obscenities, we may get pulled over by the cops, etc, etc.

But let's be real, that only happens in the movies. I mean, realistically I am probably going to be in labor for awhile, and you don't get to go to the hospital as soon as you get a contraction. AND you're supposed to like RELAX at home or something until you get to a point where they tell you it's time to come in. Totally anti-climatic if you ask me.

Also...

I've pretty much assumed that I will deliver on a weekday between 9 am and 6 pm. Actually, to be specific, I picture myself getting to the hospital around 9 or 10 am, putting in a days work (labor), and delivering sometime later (like between 4 and 6pm). I wish it was that predictable, man. Till about now, I hadn't even considered the fact that I could arrive at the hospital in the middle of the night, or on a weekend.

Another question I have been asked is, "What are your wishes on the day you deliver as far as visitors, etc?"

My wishes?

Again, another unrealistic idea. I picture our whole entire family waiting in the waiting room at the hospital and Matt running out to tell them, "He's here! It's a boy!" (Even though we already know it's a boy... unless we get a surprise, but that's off topic.) Once again, I'm assuming that's pretty much a movie thing.

But, I want visitors. How the heck am I supposed to know how soon I want visitors?

When my sister had her first kid, we were all in the hospital room in less than an hour after she delivered. (Well, I was in there WHEN she delivered, but my dad and my brother and Matt and my bro's best friend came in pretty soon after.) So I mean, who knows? It all depends.

So my wishes are officially. 1. Do what I say. 2. Be flexible. 3. Let's play it by ear.

And yes, if you didn't catch that, I watched my sister give birth to her first child.

more lists

I can't really think of any good things to blog about, and I'm blaming that on my pregnant brain. So, right now, at 6AM on a Sunday, when all of you are asleep (except perhaps those of you with newborns, or pregnancy insomnia, or really strange ideas of when it's fun to go workout), I am going to make another top 10 list.

And since I was awake, feeling this child move, thinking about how much I am ready to not be pregnant anymore, the list is entitled...

"Top 10 things I am looking most forward to after delivering this baby." (Once again omitting the things that would be TMI, and believe me, they exist. And also, I'll try not to make it just the exact opposite of my "10 worst things about pregnancy" list.)

10. Not having to anticipate what my new life with a child will be like anymore. I don't like anticipating cause it takes patience or something. This is why I always found and opened my Christmas presents early, why I try to figure out all surprises ahead of time, and probably why I can't keep secrets.

9. Losing 20 lbs in one day. I mean, seriously, who wouldn't think that was fun?

8. Warm weather. Okay, this has less to do w/ not being pregnant anymore, and more to do with time passing. But seriously, highs in the 30s? NOT FUN!

7. SHOPPING IN REGULAR STORES! I am convinced that EVERYTHING for sale at any non-maternity store looks cuter when you're pregnant because you can't have it. In addition to this, I am looking forward to wearing the non-maternity clothes that are already in my closet. I told Matt yesterday, "Henry and I are going to do a lot of shopping!" He was like, "Awesome."

6. Not having to worry or think about my caffeine intake. (Knock on wood. Cause even though it won't hurt the baby, it might still affect his sleep or stomach or something... via mommy milk.)

5. Laying down and sleeping (obviously not very much for awhile) in any position that I want including on my stomach and my back.

4. RUNNING. Never thought I'd ever have a problem with not being able to run, but oh my goodness, I cannot wait to run, uninhibited by my pregnant body. (I may be inhibited by the stroller I have to push or something, but that's okay.) Sad that I probably have to wait 6 more weeks after I deliver to do this.

3. Seeing how the baby will change the family dynamic. (My bro in laws and sis in laws will be first time aunts and uncles. My sister and I will both be moms now, etc.) I think it will be fun to watch everyone respond to the change.

2. Getting to understand that whole parent-child love thing. You know how everyone says that they can understand God's love so much more after having a kid. I am excited to experience that.

1. Meeting Baby Boy and getting to see him and know him and hold him and love him, of course!

Rewind: Another awesome rapping story.

Maybe you know the TI song "Whatever you like."

Well, I remembered that I had some awesome lyric confusion in that song too, and this can't be blamed on pregnancy since it was over a year ago. It's definitely worth telling though.

So this was sometime during the 2008 election when the song was on the radio all the time... and just now, when I looked up the lyrics, I realized the song was dirty... a good reason (in my mind) to just ignore the lyrics/never learn them, which I am obviously good at... then you can jam and not know that you're listening to trash.

Anyway... like I said it was during the '08 election, and I think Matt and I were on the way to Houston when it came on in the car.

We were just listening, when I bust out with a complaint, "I don't get it. Why is Joe Biden so cool all of the sudden? Just because Obama chose him as a running mate, rappers are going to start putting him in their songs!?"

Matt obviously didn't know what I was referring to, so I went on trying to explain... "Why does it say, 'Want JOE BIDEN, need JOE BIDEN?' That's so stupid."

Matt lovingly corrected me. Babe, it's "Want [your] BODY, need [your] body" not "want Joe Biden." Why would T.I. rap about Joe Biden?

Good question. Don't think I have lived that one down yet.

And btw, it's 5:08 AM. I have been up since 2:45... I woke up during a dream in which I was about to deliver the Hankster into the world. Unfortunately it was only a dream. I wonder how many other pregnant women are up at these insane hours. I am not good at being pregnant.

it feels GOOD to be a gangsta

The other day, Matt and I were riding along in the Accord when the Jay-Z song "Empire State of Mind" came on the radio. I decided to try to sing along and do the little gangsta move thing where you sort of purse your lips and move your hands up and down in front of your face while you rap... okay that was a really bad description, but surely at least one of you out there knows what I am talking about. Anyway...

Matt looks over at me. "STOP," he said.
"What? I don't look cool?"
"No."

But instead of stopping, I slightly repositioned my hands and continued to rap...

"Is this better?"
"It would be if you weren't pregnant and white... and that was our neighbor who just passed us while you were doing that."

Sweet. Fast forward to today...

Once again, riding along and the song "Replay" by Sean Kingston comes on. I've decided that I am going to sing along to the lyrics as loud as I can.

"Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday..."

At which point I bust out the next line confidently, "Like my eyeball's stuck on replay, replay."

Matt looks at me. "Are you serious? His EYEBALL is not stuck on replay."

Note: The lyrics are "like my ipod's stuck on replay." Not eyeball, oddly enough.

So the point is... I'm really white. And apparently even less cool than I'd be if I wasn't pregnant.

**Correction, it's Iyaz, not Sean Kingston