for the mommas

One day I am going to look back at my blog to try to remember what it was like when Jack was a baby, and then I'll get here and remember, "Oh yeah, I didn't write anything that year."

Today my sweet mother in law took the big boys for me and Jack and I got the house to ourselves.  After he woke up from his nap, it was just me and Jack in this big, empty house and it took me back to the days of only having one baby, to the days where besides babbling back and forth with a baby, you could quite easily go the whole day without talking. No adult conversations.

And as he was happily enjoying his big brother's toys because there were no big brothers to steal them away, I began to dream of doing BIG, GREAT, GLAMOROUS things.  "While he sits happily, I can [insert how you'd like to make a significant contribution to the world]." In other words, I began to dream of being somewhere else, doing something else. I'm gonna guess I'm not the only mom out there who sometimes feels like any dreams I might have are on hold for awhile.

Then I came to my mind and thought, I'm not gonna get far fast with this dreaming, so I'll just pick up my Bible and sit with him while he's playing happily.  Mobile babies.  He saw me trying to read, so he crawled over and began batting at my Bible. Those pages are not baby proof. I set it aside. Oh yeah, even with one baby you can't do whatever you want.

The thing about being a mom, day in and day out, is that it doesn't feel significant.  It just doesn't.  There is no pay raise.  Your kids don't praise you and tell you what a talented mom you are.  There's no sense of accomplishment when you beat your three and almost five year old in a two on one game of Checkers.  Sitting on the floor while a 9 month old babbles at you and then carrying him around the house doing nothing just so he won't cry is not gratifying. And when you finally do get the time to accomplish something, like clean crusted cheerios off the kitchen floor, guess what! It's dinner time - time for something else to fall and crust on the floor.

Man, as a mom, it's so easy, so tempting, to mentally and emotionally check out of the life you are in, the kids right in front of you, so that you can dream about doing BIG, GREAT, GLAMOROUS things... or so that you can just dream about the days when you could take a car-ride without someone yelling at you, "Mom, mom, mom, mom, MOM!!!" (Yes, sometimes it takes 5 times before I zone in and my kids get my attention.)

Okay so what's the point?  This is the point.  It may not be glamorous, but it is significant, to lose your life for the "least of these."  To give up yourself, your plans, your dreams for someone else's life. So someone else can say, "My mom loved me and paid attention to me and tried to get into my world and understand me and played with me."  Just think, when we give up our lives for our kids (and I don't mean live vicariously through them or idolize them but sacrifice for them), we are most like Jesus, who gave his life up for us.

I've been praying that Jesus would help me to stay present.  That I'd stop "escaping" into my own world.  Maybe you will join me? My kids are back. Till next time!

Halloween 2014

Matt and I dressed up as each other! If you ask me, I got the raw end of the deal.

All my boys have been this pumpkin, so when I found a baby superman costume in the box of hand-me-downs, I decided I'd have to make Jack a pumpkin for the photo op and let him change to the superhero later. Isn't he sweet?

These boys are the sweetest and the craziest.  And even though Sam threw a fit about putting his costume ON, he refused to take it off and actually slept in it last night, mask and all.

These four baby boys were in their mommas' tummies last Halloween.

Halloween is much more enjoyable when the baby has come out of your belly, even if you're dressed like a boy.  Also, I am trying to teach Matt not to cut off heads and feet when he takes pictures, but that is proving difficult.

This is the four pregnant mommas last year.

Here's some of the neighborhood kiddos. Melissa bribed them with candy in order to make this picture happen.

Last but not least, I thought I would add a full body shot so you could get the full effect.  You're welcome.

It's been way too long.

It has been over two months since I posted.  I am going to be so sad about this one day when I want to look back and remember... here's to trying to be better about posting some of the little things that make these days both entertaining and refining.

There are some days that things are so crazy that I don't feel like I could make it up if I tried... crazy in a good way like... I somehow think it's a good idea to take all three boys to Academy for new shoes during nap time... and both boys start screaming at the top of their lungs "I have to poop!" for everyone else to hear.  (I told them they were not allowed to poop.) And then they trip on the cart and melt down in the store.  And when they're not melting down they're running through the shoe isle.  And Jack is hungry.  And just when I think we are home free, seconds after paying, Henry drops the drink he is holding all over the floor and we have to wait for a really slow employee to come help us get cleaned up. While the line piled up behind me. And the employee took too long, so I left without cleaning up the mess anyway.

It's also filled with really sweet things like the boys asking deep questions, loving each other, and loving me and Matt.  Henry has told us with tears in his eyes that he will never, ever, ever move away.  He's here to stay - forever. (This was in response to Matt telling him that one day he will grow up and move away.)  Poor little man cannot imagine life without us.  I will remind him of this when he is 18.  Anyway, here are some pictures of our last two months...

I took this on one of the "refining" days.  I call Sam my "ER trip waiting to happen." We have been twice in two months. This may have also been the day Henry slipped in Sam's pee on the kitchen floor.  Reasons why I am not ready for that sweet baby in the bottom left to grow up.

We went to the beach.  Isn't this beach baby A-dorable!

Laura had fun hanging with Jack and talking to him.

Digging in the sand at the beach...

Playing Uno

I think we now have a total of TWO family pictures since Jack was born... I am so bad about it!

Jack all covered up...

I took Jack to meet my beautiful Nana in Alabama before we went to the beach.  She has been less mobile in recent years so it's been a really long time since I had seen her.

Cousins on the ipad!

Jack's 4 month picture.  Who needs a sign when your child will hold up 4 fingers??

Jack w/ his buddy Myles.

Mom failed with decent back to school pictures.

Don't you just want to squeeze him?

This is what our car looks like... this was on the way home from the beach.  Don't tell - I secretly want a minivan.

Jack is surrounded by action... and loving brothers. (Who only occasionally try to make him cry on purpose.)

He is SUCH a laid back, content baby.

Another one with Nana.

Sam getting his head stapled.

Love this happy kid.

Babies are the sweetest.

Jackers

Jack wanted to say "hi" and update you that he is officially "sleep trained." At night anyway.

our neck of the woods (at almost 12 weeks)

Hola!  It's been awhile, and I typically don't know what to write when I haven't written for awhile.  So.  I'll tell you that I am "sleep training" Jack right now.  This very moment.  He will be 12 weeks on Monday.  He is a BIG baby.  At one point about four weeks ago, I was sure the child had/was going to sleep train himself because apart from the usual stirring, he didn't wake up to eat at all.  And well, he doesn't wake up in the middle of the night to eat... hasn't for a long time.  BUT, something changed and he wakes up needing his pacifier - several times a night.

The second I stick that paci in, he's out cold.  Every.single.time.  So, basically, I am letting him learn to fall asleep without the paci.  I know I could also go upstairs, flip him on his tummy and he'd be out in three minutes.  But I guess that whole sleeping on the back thing is a rule I am unwilling to break.  Not that I think he'd suffocate, but more that if something DID happen, I would be so upset at myself for breaking the dang rules.  So there... Jack is on his back, going on 40 minutes of crying.  Getting angrier by the moment.

I LOVE newborns.  I LOVE this sweet stage that isn't going to last.  My heart leaps when that sweet child smiles at me.  He is so generous with his smiles.  He loves to talk.  It's amazing his delight at mommy and daddy and his big brothers. (Although he seems a tiny bit unsure about Sam sometimes.) I love Jack.

I do not love the first two to four months of newborn life.  Transitioning from 2-3 is by far my easiest transition yet.  By far.  Jack has also been the easiest child to nurse.  He's quick (like less than 8 minutes), he doesn't have spit up or gas (I remember Sam getting really fussy during/after I nursed him).  On top of that, I am not intimidated to go places, not overly concerned about schedules or letting other people watch my kids, etc.  But stilllllll.  Newborn haze.  No sleep.  Hormones...

So that's why I've been MIA.  For grins, I figured that I would share a little day in the life... at least how it's been for the past month.  It will change.

Usually, everyone is up around 7, and I wake Jack up to eat around 7 or 7:30.  (I'd like to say that I wake up before the boys, but usually I am up in the middle of the night, so for this season they are waking us up - not my preference.) Then it's breakfast and getting dressed, cleaning while the big boys make messes till 10, and I feed him again.  (By the way, my older two seem to be "hungry" all day long... I feel like they want to eat constantly.)  We then immediately leave for whatever morning activity sounds best (typically that would be going to the pool, which we had done almost everyday for two weeks until Henry got swimmer's ear this past week).  Back home by 12:30, lunch, feed Jack around 1 or 1:30.  Sam takes a nap (if I am not too lazy to put him down), Jack sleeps.  This is the time where I entertain Henry or, if I am exhausted, I let him play alone or with my phone for 45 min while I sleep, or on a good day he helps me with chores, which he loves to do. 2PM till Matt gets home around 5:30 is the longest part of the day. Matt will take Henry and Sam to run or play tennis or swim right after work a lot of days if I haven't finished (or started) making dinner... I feed Jack at 4, and 7 and then again at 10, although the pediatrician told me that he is big enough to drop that last feeding... Between 4 and 8PM (boys bedtime), we are usually cooking dinner, eating dinner, cleaning, giving baths, etc.  And I am wiped by the time the big boys' bedtime rolls around.  Somehow I still manage to stay up too late every night getting "me" time.

That's that.  I'm pretty sure in all my years of blogging/babies, I have never posted a "day in the life" post because I figured that nobody else really cares.  But now I am sort of over the posting about what I think other people care about... so there it is.  Must be the whole turning 30 thing.

Below are some pics I took with the camera Matt got me for my bday!

Fourth of July neighborhood parade. I spy Erika.

Playing in mommy and daddy's bed

Henry and superman.

if only I could let him sleep on his tummy all night...

he has some adoring big brothers!

I love this little chunker.

Crying it out update... Jack cried for 50 minutes... I finally picked him up and got him down without his paci.  Then he woke up 5 minutes later, cried (angry cry) for 15 more minutes, and then I picked him up again, got him back to sleep and he is out cold.  Woo hoo.