hola, muchachos. welcome to the little piece of world that I call my own :)

production's over and now it's time to sing the blues -.- been really really busy EXAMS IN 3 FUCKING DAYS GOOD GOD. it feels like all the pressure's building up and I'm just a shell. Today was shitty. Got back my Lit term paper, very very bad >:

then to make it even better, after school NatMah and I were in class singing some random stuffs. It was after school and we figured no one would be in the other classes, right. So we were singing really loudly and I was on a long note when who else but Jacqueline Chua came in, said "if you can't control yourself" and snatched away the guitar. Granted, she was having class or smth. BUT WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW. I mean like, she could've said something like "Hey stop screaming/singing/making so much noise, I'm conducting a class." and then when I apologized (cause apparently she was angry with me) she just rolled her eyes and walked away. It's not like banned right. There's no school rule that prohibits us from singing loudly what -.- and it was after school. It was an honest mistake; we didn't even know she was conducting class because usually there's no class going on. We were actually waiting for people to come so we could have CG and do worship. So if we had done worship, would she have come in and snatched the guitar away? It's very unreasonable and unfair of her to do this when it was an HONEST MISTAKE. She could have at least warned us. That's what most teachers would have done. Somemore it's not our guitar. It's William's guitar.

Two people with the same name but with SUCH different personalities. Sigh.
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everyday I ask myself why I'm still in love with you. I can't explain it, only that I love you. I've had crushes before, yes; but I've never been so in love with someone as you. Damn you; you've captured my heart and you're not letting it go. And even though you may not feel the same way, I'm happy just to be there if you need me. Silly, aren't I? I think so too. But being a fool for love's better than being a sage for none.

Love always,
J.
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so sunday was the best day of my life this year. Making new friends, catching up with old ones. What more could I ask for? but it made me think a lot as well. What happens after we turn 18 and we go our separate ways? will we ever see each other again? I can't imagine life without you now, just like I couldn't imagine life with you. I really hope we won't just forget each other and walk off to disparate corners of the globe. Maybe someday we will meet in a corner cafe in Johannesburg and we will sit there and fall in love all over again.
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thanks a lot. you know why I don't talk to you these days? because the first fucking thing you do when you come home is scold me. how long has it been since you last praised me? ages. Every day, every single fucking word i say just results in me getting scolded. so what's the point in fucking talking to you when I'm just going to get scolded? Fuck my life. And fuck you.
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fuck this lah. Let me pose a question to you. If there are 2 boys, 1 in a few leadership positions already but his only failing is excessive latecoming, the other in no leadership positions but already nearly had police action threatened against him, who would you pick to be a leader? Obviously the 1st one. Now why is it that the school can't fucking seem to see this? It's annoying, it's stupid, and it just shows downright laziness on the part of the school. Yes, I have been late. So? Lee Kuan Yew was late. A thousand great people before me have been late. And it's not like I'm not trying to change. What about _____________? What does he have? A close brush with the law? For God's sake, he nearly got arrested for molesting a teacher. Which offence is more serious? Latecoming or molest? And has he changed? No! He's still as perverse as ever. Now why did HE get in and not me? It's fucking unfair that this happens. Someday I'll just decide to stop trying.
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I find that when I'm emotionally down i tend to pour everything into my work. Perhaps this will help mend a broken heart. I don't know.
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I just deactivated my facebook account. seeing as how much of my time has been wasted away there, I think it's a good move. It's also to escape some rumours, gossip and speculation which I'm really really tired of. I feel so damn tired of everything. Like I'm living without a clear purpose. Sigh. I just hope that for these 2 weeks, my workrate will increase.
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great I just confessed to the girl I like. BAD BAD BAD MOVE ))))):

I'm not sure we're even going to talk anymore.
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