Gabe came home alone

14 Jan: Gabe scooted off too fast after getting off the bus nearby and lost track of his dad. He scooted home by himself and pressed the doorbell. Tearful and sweaty but still made it home. Thank God you recognize places. We wouldn't know what to do if you are really lost and can't be found.

Good Gracious

It's been 11 months now. Where has all the time gone? Quite a bit has happened since then. Lease at "Sam's place" ended and we shifted to A's place. All was good till it's discovered FIL was diagnosed with colon cancer. We shifted back to Teban since a month and a half ago. It's a total change of lifestyle. My weekends used to be packed, with barely time to stay at home. Now, it's a deliberate decision to make no plans so that there's someone around who could intervene if things got worse. I'm out of ushering for 6 months, so that gives me the flexibility too. I miss church, I miss being able to go places. By God's grace, he had gone through the 2nd round of chemo, and have not experienced side effects. There are 4 more rounds to go. Am back in MS after a short stint in a social enterprise. Some times were fulfilling, some not. I've joined YS's team since April. Taking a slow pace for full time work. Most of all, I'm glad I'm back in the technology industry. It still intrigues me more. Started my entrepreneur journey with a few partners focusing on tourism. Exciting with the possibilities that may come. I'm not sure if my planning is sufficient but gotta do more research and planning. Guess what I'm lacking of is the network.

care

i care. not in the way you wanted it. not in the way where you could be dependent. not in the way you would be spoilt. perhaps you wouldn't understand any of it now. i pray for the day when you would realize how much your loved ones sacrificed for you and thus pampered you too much. would we talk again next year? or would we finally talk again when there's demise amongst our loved ones?

July - another hiatus

It's strange that time just slips away even though I am supposedly more free now. Am pleased with some of my "new" regular activities - exercise - cooking some simple dishes for dinner - exploring affiliate marketing - hogging the library seats I do some ad-hoc event jobs here and there as well, which includes delivery of documents through a crowd sourcing courier App. Guess Grabtaxi concept gave way to many more similar business ideas. Now we have the same for domestic cleaning, durian delivery and some other services. I bumped into Caroline today, it lifted my spirits up even though it's such a short encounter. Now time to get laser focus on my plans today!

growing old

It's been verified that my grandpa is suffering from early stage of dementia. It could have started 2 years ago. "Why didn't you guys bring him for a check-up earlier?", the doc asked. And he suspected grandma is suffering from Parkinson's disease from her shaky hand and bobbing head while he speaks to her. Indeed, when she is stressed, her head bobs more and trembles more. A part of me wishes i do not have to work full time so i can have the flexibility to be around them during the daytime. What can i do?

declutter

Lets call this new project: Declutter.
for the sanity of my relationships. for people who are the real bosses in life.
to align my mentality to the new goals in life.

time is scarce.

Can God make time move slower?

Service

Romans 12:1-2 NKJV

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which  is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Today

Gotta constantly remind myself that my mental and emotional health are important.

Why am I always not delivering up to par?
Why am I always so tired?
Don't wanna follow in daddy's footsteps :(

Mrs Sio

My dear friend got married! Wishing you years of marital blessings my dear~~

夜深人静

问问自己
为自己的理想
牺牲与亲人接触的时间
值得吗？

或许我太贪心了
什么都要
什么都不想放弃
放弃其实有什么困难？
珍惜眼前人很难吗？
别等到他们已离世界才来后悔。

Thoughts

Struggling with responsibilities and life priorities. Why can't I get them right?

Love the song list @ pretticure. All my fav songs! <3

Judge

I was on the cab home and chatted with this cab driver. He's a Christian, have kids who served in church, used to marry others. The conversation went really well till he realized that I married a non-believer. He went 'aye' and asked if I go church regularly and presumed I don't cos I have a non-believer husband. I said I do; he didnt get it and said I'm not a strong Christian. Then silence. Before getting off the cab, he encouraged me to go to church regularly and to bring my hub. I repeated myself and said I serve in ushering and recently stepped up to colead cell.

The latter was a lie. That wasn't what I committed to Viv. Why do I have to lie to impress a fellow believer anyway? I felt judged n hurt, esp the assumption that I'm a backslider due to a nonyolked marriage. :(
I know I would face all these judgement when I chose love over obedience. Perhaps its been a while since the last judgement.

2014

Its hard to sum up 2014 in a few words.

There was anticipation, dislain, despair, happiness, being overwhelmed, longing, confusion, getting real, disappointment, surprise.

Good thing is - All ended well by today.

Moving on isn't that hard, its just about taking the first step. Ironic that I ended up in proj mgmt firm when I had much reservations venturing into that area.

Many things to be thankful for
- My grandma to accept Christ
- My dad to realize how damaged his body is. If u find regular hosp visits inconvenient, then how inconvenient is it to eat right and live right?
- my travel plans 4x a year to materialize. I've often prioritized work over spending time with my family, glad that I made it to Vancouver with mum.
- being there for kor's wedding
- a v understanding and flexible boss who invests in her employees' well-being
- close friends who had stuck tgr through the years
- I love the fact that my colleagues are tight.

2015
I gotta leave office on time and spend more time at home.

Ger in 2014 realizes there's so much more in life than personal accomplishments at work. And it's OK to be more emotional. That's what makes us human isn't it?

Why blog?

It started cos people around me had a virtual space to type their thoughts.

Then it served as a place to update friends who are overseas.

Now, its a place where I pen my feelings with the little time I have after completing all the seemingly important things that adults need to do. I really wish I have more time to write.

Marriage

Requires hard work. There's suddenly so many moving things and things that matter. Been feeling more emotions since the vancouver trip.

God please help shephard our direction, and strengthen our bond.