so torn eh?

Sometimes I like to add some "spice" to my devo life.
...and that is done..by reading the scripture out loud with different accents.

Sometimes I record my own accent and listen to it..hahaha.
Usually I end up being so focussed on the accent I forget to focus on the scripture itself.

Anyway, today I just stumbled upon a verse that spoke to me so personally...

" What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise....

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."

-romans 7:14-25 (msg)

Anyway I think i'm back. (blogging-wise)
Backstreet's also back. (10 years ago)

grace

Today I went downtown. Oh how I love the commute and the lifestyle of taking the TTC! (I'm not being sarcastic, i feel so good about not driving)

In the station, there was an old subway musician, in his 70s, playing violin. My first reaction to seeing him play was to clutch my wallet a bit tighter. As I was walking by, i saw these two people, who looked like they were in their 30s, but dressed in big baggy sweatshirts. Offensively, some would call them, 'white trash'. Anyway, I saw the guy stop in front of the old man who just kept playing his violin, and he nicely dropped some coins into his violin case.
That gave me a smile, it was such a nice deed.
See, my reluctance to pay, and seeing the two people, who i judged and assumed to be "poor", was able to spare money and appreciate the music, made me really ashamed of myself. Everybody else, finely groomed or oblivient, couldn't even spare a dime.

So even though I walked 50m away from the violinist already, I pulled out my wallet and dropped him a loonie.

There was something else I wanted to say but I forgot.

Thanks S and T for commenting on my now-non-existent blog post :)