Guard Your Heart

Too many single women's tears are the result of their not guarding their hearts in relation to the men they admire. Sadly, this including myself.

If you admire a certain guy, guard your heart by taking every thought about him to Jesus in prayer.

It is a win-win situation when you pray for those you admire. Pray that God's best for him, and don't add your name to the ''best'' column. The unselfish act of prayer on his behalf will help to purify your heart in relation to God's script for the situation. ''The Lord's searchlight penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motives'' (Proverbs 20:27)

In the mid-1800s, a lovely single woman wrote to author Hannah Whitall Smith about her struggle with loneliness and depression. The author wrote the classic The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life. The answer she gave her lonely friend is just as relevant now as it was in the nineteenth century.

The loneliness thou speaks of I know all about. For do not think, darling, that it is confined to unmarried people. It is just as real in lives that have plenty of human ties: husband and children and friends... And I believe God very rarely allows any human love to be satisfying, something always comes in to spoil it. Either there is a death, or there are separations, or there is a change of feeling on one side or the other, or something, and the heart is driven out of its human resting places.

An e-mail from a precious single girl named Keren reminded me of what Hannah wrote. She clearly understands the commitment required from a single woman who wants to guard her heart and follow her God. Keren wrote:

I can read the Bible a hundred times, read Lady in Waiting fifty times, but if my heart is not ready to give away to Him my desires, nothing in the world will help. Therefore it is for those who are ready to give the King all their dreams, desires, and wishes and go with their ''Naomis'' (from the book of Ruth) to the unknown [that they will find] in the end God's promised land. [Such following may] look good to us or not- but God, His ways are perfect, and He protects those who hide under the shadow of His wings. We must trust God during our time of waiting, during moments of loneliness, and must fight the best we can (with God's help) to guard our hearts, for from our hearts come the issues of life.

In her letter to the single woman, Hannah Whitall Smith went one step further to remind her- and all of us, single, married, widowed, divorced- that the ultimate answer is not in Mr. Right but in a right relationship with God. In this excerpt, Hannah addressed the timeless reality that God is enough.

No soul can be really at rest until it has given up all dependence on everything else and has been forced to depend on the Lord alone. As long as our expectation is from other things, nothing but disappointment awaits us. Feelings may change, and will change, with our changing circumstances: doctrines and dogmas may be upset; Christian work may come to naught; prayers may seem to lose their fervency; promises may seem to fail; everything that we have believed in or depended upon may seem to be swept away, and only God is left, just God, the bare God, if I may be allowed the expression; simply and only God....

God is enough. It is that we find in Him, the fact of His existence and of His character, all that we can possibly want for everything. God is, must be, our answer to every question and every cry of need. If there is any lack in the One who has undertaken to save us, nothing supplementary we can do will avail to make it up; and if there is no lack in Him, then He of Himself and in Himself is enough.

Who is Writing Your Love Story?

We women sure love love. The current label for a twenty-first-century love story is a ''chick flick'' or ''chick lit''. Whatever these stories are called, why do women get excited about reading or seeing a new love story played out on pages or on the big screen- whereas a man groans at the prospect of having to sit through another one? Why is a woman willing to sit through a werewolf and vampire battle between Jacobs and Edward in Twilight in order to see who wins over Bella's heart and a few moments of a tender love story? The answers are simple: Love to a woman is her whole life. Love to a man is only part of his life.

Most of the famous literature about love being the center of a woman's world. Even in Paul's famous passage about the roles of men and women in marriage (Ephesians 5), he didn't command a woman to love her husband but he did command the husband to love his wife. Why? Love for a man is too often a vague reality, but for a woman, it is as bright as a sunrise over the ocean.

A great example can be showed through the recent news about former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Khan currently spending his first day outside a prison after his lawyers posted US$6 million bond in the wake of his indictment on sexual assault and attempted rape charges. He should be largely thanks to the apparently limitless love and money supplied by his wife Anne Sinclair, heiress of her grandfather art masterpieces worth several hundred million dollars. Despite what her husband did, she still chose to standby and support him.

I know we all have that love hunger. But, who is writing our love story: us or God? Are we willing to wait for God's best, or rather settle for a guy we pick out just because we're tired of waiting? I hope you've been enveloped in the love of God as you've read and become convinced that only One person knows what-and who-is really right for you.

As a young woman, I was such a romantic, and God used the leading man in the book of Ruth to introduce me to a sacred romance that surpassed anything I ever read about in literature. For me, Ruth presented a love story that beats all the love stories written since! The good news is: God is still writing love stories.

The One who wrote the first love story will also be the Author of the last love story. God's love for mankind was the first love story in the book of Genesis, and the last love story is already recorded in the last book of the Bible. The story includes a big wedding, and those who love God and are loved by God will be His bride at the elaborate Marriage Feast of the Lamb to be held in eternity future.

Let God write our love story. Let Him surpass all our expectations with a Man truly Worth Waiting For. Let Him bring your own Boaz, and your love story will be as powerful as his was!

10 Things Never to Say to a Girl

This morning, I read this newspaper column about 10 things Never to Say to a Girl. I found it quite interesting so i share it here.

1. ''She's just a friend.'' Yeah right. If she's attractive and single we see her as a threat. If she really is just a friend, let us know the reason why. Is it because she's not your type, she has a boyfriend, she has an annoying personality? Girls like to be reassured that you're not secretly into your ''friend''.

2. ''I'll call you tonight at 8pm.'' Do not give a specific time or date of when you will be calling unless you intend to keep your word. If you say you will call tonight, and you don't keep the timing right...expect the worst. If you don't know when you will call, you can say something like, ''I'll talk to you later.''

3. ''She's hot!'' Pointing out that someone else is attractive will not earn you any points. If you don't mean it, you'll be opening Pandora's box. Women do not take this statement lightly. Don't say too much personal stuff until the relationship is moving to the next level. Desperation turns people off.

4. ''Did you gain weight?'' Does this one really need an explanation? You shouldn't even say this jokingly, even if your girlfriend is stick thin. Just as you don't want hear anything about your size, women don't want to hear about their weight.

5. ''My ex always/never/used to...'' If your ex is still on your mind so much that you need to constantly bring her up, then why are you dating her? Relationship are difficult enough without the past turning up every now and then.

6. ''You remind me of my mother.'' Do not compare your mother to your girlfriend unless you've made it clear that you absolutely adore your mother and think the world of her.

7. ''Did we have plans?'' Oh no you didn't! If you've made plans to get together, you've been looking forward to it all day.

8. ''Keep in touch/Call me'' What the (expletive) is that supposed to mean? That you don't plan on ever calling again? That you want her to call you next time? That you're unsure about how she feels about you and you want to see if she'd call? There's too much room for misinterpretation here, so just don't use either of these ambiguous expressions. Your job is to call.

9. ''How old are you?'' If the lady appears to be anywhere near 30, do not ask about her age. If you really must know, you can make an educated guess from other information she gives you, such as when she graduated from college. If however, she appears to be under 20, you absolutely must ask, so as to make sure she is legal age!

10. ''You remind me of my ex-girlfriend.'' Absolutely wrong way to go. Expect her to thump you with her handbag before fleeing.