O Blog

O Blog, I am so sorry for putting you on the back burner for the past two months. I hope I can make this up to you....in pictures... :)

This is "Nakey-boy" in his element...This quite wonderfully describes my life these days.. :)

On to the holidays....

Tree putting upping, and Merry Christmas Reindeer!

SNOW!!

Stay tuned for the long awaited Birthday and Christmas posts!

Rawr.

Caleb-bean dressed up as a lion this year for Halloween...we made his costume (well actually my mom made it while I was working) and I think it turned out so cute! Thank you JoAnn Fabric for your $.99 McCall's patterns, and my mom's sew-by-hand expertise! We seem to have a little animal theme going on, as he went as an Oatmeal Bear last year...maybe a puppy next year? We shall see.

It was a fun night! We went over to see some family, ate some fabulous chili, and all the little ones went Trick-or-Treating to the houses in the neighborhood...This was Caleb's first time, and it was adorable watching him go up to peoples' doors and say "Ick er EEET!" Love it. And he sure loved the candy, though now we're having to explain that candy is a special treat, and not an everyday occurrence :) Craig might beg to differ...

We also went and saw Book and Errmey (Brooke and Jeremy) and Ology (Theology) for a little bit, and then trucked on over to Grandpa's before coming back home and crashing all too late!

So, now I am off to bed to take full advantage of my "extra" hour of sleep. BWAHAHAHA.

Rawr. And goodnight.

Bravo!

I will preface this short post by saying I am extremely tired..but I thought I at least owe ya'll (a little bit of the South for you) a little update.

Well...I'm tired because I'm currently employed. :) Yep! I got a job, and am now supporting our family! Haha...well, at least until Craig gets a job...and then I'll be co-supporting our family (financially, of course). I started Monday working with Early Head Start as a Family Educator, and I'm spending this week all day every day training; reading LOTS of material and watching many child development and theory videos from the early 90's. Mmmhmm...crazy big bangs combined with no other volume, the pre-skinny jean 'tapered' days when they weren't so skinny in the hip-pal area (hey, don't judge me on my word-making-up abilities), and some UUUGLY baby gear...no "Safari" this or "Rainforest" that...no classic Pooh, no Restoration Hardware customized pink or blue-with brown polka dots...so sad.

So, once I get past this laundry list of training materials, my job will be very fun, and very rewarding, and will at least allow me to access my creative problem solving abilities and 'need honing' Spanish skills (they consider me 'bilingual..who knew?). I'm excited, and I whole-heartedly believe God placed this position on my plate for good reason, and that he's worked everything out to make it possible (including a second car!) and that it will be good. But I really already miss being with my baby :(  I think I just have to keep in mind that my schedule - when I actually have one - will be very flexible and hopefully actually allow me to spend more time with him, with one day a week that I get to stay home all day! Yay! These first couple of weeks are going to be a little rough, though. I'm so thankful I have such an awesome mom who offered to get some laundry done for me, and even put a chicken in the oven for me before she left for work yesterday! Whew...

So that's that. I will update with more info once I have more of a brain (maybe this weekend?). In other news, Craig and I had a final, FINAL interview type thing Monday evening with Eastside Comm. Church. We are supposed to hear at least some news about finalization on the postition near the end of this week...we shall see, we shall see. Thank the Lord one of us finally got a position...having cash that only flows one way is only slightly stressful. But, Jesus is taking care of us...in abundance :) As usual.

Love and BABIES (birth to 3 years + pregnant teens) HA!

Peace.

A little woop...

Can someone please give me a little 'woop woop' for $2.71/gal. gas? Ok...really get into it now...WOOP WOOP! Hoody HOOO! Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelujah!!! BET!

'Cause this is what I've been paying lately...

And all God's people shouted at the top of their lungs...

Lately

Outside playing/"walking" Sadie

Chasing me with the hose...Check out that expression of pure glee!

Being mischievious on the back porch...Again, the devious look!

Back to back, back to back, come on everybody get back to back!

Haha...it's so hard to get a good picture of him these days! But, at least you can see the hair!

Walgreenie-Beanie-Weanie

Let me first apologize for the title of this post...these things spontaneously erupt in my brain, and I cannot resist the urge to actually type them. 

Today I did some Walgreening (now you're thinking 'AH! NOW I know where she got the ridiculous heading!) and got some pretty good deals. Observe:

1 Crest 1.99 - 1.00 MFC - 1.oo ES = FREE

1 Glade Wisp 5.99 - 5.00 MFC = .99 + 3RR

1 Glade Scented Oil Candle 3.99 - 2.00 MFC = 1.99 (send in for $2 Rebate Oct. ES = FREE)

1 Glade Candle 1.99 - 1.00 MFC = .99 (send in for $1 Rebate Oct. ES = FREE)

1 Gillett Fusion Power 9.49 - 4.oo MFC = 5.49

1 Diet Mt Dew 1.25 (filler)

1 Tissue Pack .25 (filler)

I paid .99 + tax for the Wisp candle and got back 3RR...then I bought the rest, used the 3RR plus 4.50RR I had from last week's toothbrush...and the total came to 2.51 + tax OOP. I will get to submit 4.00 in Oct. Rebates...so really I got all this free :) And, I paid the OOP on my gift card from September's rebates...so...I guess you could say we're getting pretty serious, Walgreens and me. Exciting times! The bad news? I only have 1.96 left on the gift card, so I will submit October's rebates early...might miss out on some later deals, but I'm determined never to spend another dollar completely out of pocket at Walgreens!

Get a haircut, and get a real job...

Let's see, well...haircut, CHECK!

Real job...hmm, depends on who you ask...I have decided that my "real" job right now is to take the best care of my family I can... :)  Doesn't pay much. In fact...I seem to be spending more than is coming in at this point... HA! That's what happens when you actually have to feed that family..."to feed is to love" - didn't some great philosopher once say that? Well, he/she should have. It's a good one.

Anyway, back to the haircut.... x3!! That's right folks, we all three got haircuts this afternoon, and are now all completely different people. Well...I am, because I get a haircut about once every six months (please don't shoot me Abbe!), where I am again transformed from ponytail girl to spunky, cute-again young mommy. :) Caleb is different because today he got his first, real life "big boy" haircut. I wish I could post the picture...but Abbe has it on her camera...I forgot mine, and my phone...nice, I know. Craig is different because he's been working out lately and his belly has been undergoing reduction surgery, as I have so lovingly just now named his recent interest in exercise. So the new haircut makes him all the cuter! :)  

If you can't tell, haircuts make me happy.

Jobs are coming, I can feel it.

1 Month Anniversary

Well, it's now been officially over a month since we moved back to Kansas. While I am truly certain we made the right decision at the right time, it's been over a month and still no solid prospective jobs in sight. We are still waiting to hear from a local church, which would be the ideal situation all around, and I have a second interview for a Children's Case Management position with the county, but I hate that nothing is set in stone. I KNOW in my head that God is always faithful to provide for us, and he has been SO faithful...through the many times I have not been faithful in trusting and praying. There's this silly pattern my life follows: an important decision is made...God takes me into difficult circumstances...I freak out and exaust all my own resources before crying out to him...He ALWAYS provides...I promise to trust him fully next time...an important decision is made...you see where this is going...   So, why is it that God has a proven track record of provision, I have a proven track record of, well, freaking out and exausting all my own resources, and yet I STILL doubt that THIS time he will provide? I mean, isn't that really the issue here? My doubt, and his unfailing grace that continues to cover me? And why do I worry so about my life, knowing full well that those enviable birds of the air and lilies of the field are treated with such care? *Sigh* 

Alas, this post is too long already...so I will go on...

I think I'm having one of 'those' days...you know, the kind where for some reason you just tend to let Satan get in little by little until you just feel somewhat worthless, but know better? I honestly don't have much I need to be complaining about...I have a roof over my head, a loving husband and a beautiful baby boy. But, then I think about the lack of air conditioning (my mom's compressor went out...and the Indian Days of Summer are sticking around for some reason), the fact that my son is discovering his extremely stubborn and strong will, the lack of jobs, the boredom, the desire left unfulfilled (for now) for Craig to be able to continue as a Youth Pastor and have the opportunity to be connected every day to awesome men of God and possibilities of finishing school, and the EXTREME desire to have my own place and my own things. Again, *sigh* there is more, of course...there is always more. I have to confess that I really, really, really, REALLY want Craig to get this job at the church. For a lot of reasons. But a lot because after working in two churches I have discovered that I absolutely love teenagers, and I miss them a lot...a lot a lot. I miss having kids over raiding my kitchen :) Right now I couldn't even have anybody over! And then God reminds me that his timing is not necessarily mine. I'll insert one more *sigh* in here just for good measure. 

I guess I'll continue to play the waiting game...patiently and prayerfully...and positively. Thing will work out just fine...they always do.

NOTE: On a very interesting and amazing note, we got a call from a FSM detective yesterday and he has confirmed that Craig's guitar's have been recovered!!!!!!!! This is such exciting news, as we had really given up all hope of ever getting them back!!!!!!! The irony is that he had literally just ordered a new guitar not even 24 hours prior to hearing this news...again, God has a way of working in our lives, doesn't he? Praise Him. :)

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? -Matthew 6:25

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:31-34

Going with door #1

Thanks for the suggestions! I will definitely submit the first one! (And maybe the last just for kicks) ;)

babyGap Casting Call

I got an e-mail today about this year's babyGap and GapKids casting call...apparantly they're looking for new models to show off their incredibly cute clothes that I absolutely love! In light of this, (and the PERFECT weather this evening) we went outside and had a little photo shoot! Caleb, of course, was overjoyed because we were outside, and therefore wasn't the most bestest (that's right, I said it) subject for his little photo op...but, I did manage to get a couple I thought were pretty cute...so naturally I wanted to share them...with you...enjoy!

haha..I just threw this one in because it's funny...

Well, now that you've seen the choices, any suggestions on which one to submit?

Wack-a-dilly, yo mama ate CHILI!

It's chilly here in Kansas, but our light jacket from last winter is toooo little...so we had to make due with Grandma's jacket for a porch excursion.

Looking quite Hobbit-ish...

Caleb's attempt at Jason Mraz

going public!

Well, I finally posted the link to my blog on Facebook...the end. :) We'll see how this goes...

Young man, are you listening to me?

As of yesterday, the Stutz's are proud members of the YMCA! I'm not sure you understand how excited I am to have this glorious concoction of bricks and mortar...you see, I really love to exercise. I love exercise that leaves me unable to walk correctly for 2 days because I'm sore from exercising! No, that is not in any way a form of sarcasm...I really do love the feeling of soreness...from exercise, that is. Have I mentioned yet that I like to exercise?

Now, back to the 'Y.' This place is amazing. I know, I know...it's just the local YMCA. But it's so much MORE to me! Ok, that may not be true. But, going to the 'Y' does bring me back to the summer of 2003...working the Y.E.S.S. program for the ARC...just weeks away from being married...all the time in the world! It was definitely a great summer...and I spent SO much time at the 'Y' preparing for the wedding, getting in DANG good shape if I do-ma-say-ma-so-ma-self. I just really love the place!

Five years later (hmm...and a few pounds too...ugh) I am again a YMCA member, along with my cutie pie husband and sweet baby boy. It's so much fun to go together, and I love having an instant connection with the people of my native home town. We've already seen at least one person we know (I say at least because my eyesight is seriously lacking?). So...much...fun. Plus, it's great to be able to drop Caleb off in the nursery...no more having to find someone to watch him so Craig and I can both go somewhere, or leaving Craig home while I go do something! He gets to play with other kids for awhile, and we get to work out together. Love it. Loveitloveitloveit. So, this is my plug...I highly recommend that you go here to find your local YMCA...you too may fall in love (that is Phileo) like I did in the summer of 03'. Here are a couple of tribute pics to that summer:
Aww...

I've recently got into coupons and Walgreens! This morning I went to "do a deal" and had to share! I also thought I'd include a picture of my lovely shopping purchases and a recap of how it all went down...when I get my rebates from these products on the Walgreens giftcard, I will be on the road to never spending another cent out of pocket there! Woo hoo for saving Money! A special thanks to MoneySavingMom and the other bloggers for their inspiration scenarios!

Nivea Men's Body Wash $4.99 (Free After Rebate)
-1.00 coupon
Crest ProHealth Toothpaste $3.79 (FAR)
-.75 coupon
Revlon Nail Color $4.79 (FAR)
-2.00 coupon
Loreal Revitalift Anti-Wrinkle Serum $12.36 (FAR)
-3.00 coupon
2 Dove Haircare products $4.99 (B1G1)
-2.00 coupon on 1
2 John Frieda hair products $5.99 & $3.00 (B1G1 50%)
-3.00 coupon on 2
5 12 packs Pepsi products $11.00 w/Walgreens store coupon
2 packs Trident XTra Care $.99 each
-B1G1 coupon
-.75 coupon on 1
1 Gallon whole milk $3.59
1 random chapstick $.99
1 Snickers Charge bar $.59
__________________________

Total before all coupons $61.81 + tax
Total after all coupons $30.06 + tax (out of pocket cost)
With all my Free After Rebate items I will get back approx. $30.06 on the gift card plus 10% bonus for using the gift card....thus making all of these items FREE. This is amazing to me!!

Summer 08' Ode to the Fort!

At Grandma's

Fun day at the mall with Grandma!

Lydia & Caleb playing in the dirt during Craig's softball game

Jordan and Lee - I love these girls!!!

The adorable cookie cake at our going away Youth night

My sweet baby boy with "Nonnie" (blanket) and "Teddy" in high spirits after a nap!

Goodnight Moon

Caleb really loves the book "Goodnight Moon." In fact, he loves that and "Chicka-Chicka Boom Boom" so much that I have them both memorized! We finally got into Wichita (for good!!) on Saturday night, and I really think what saved us on the truck ride was our mad book reciting skills!

All that to say, when we were leaving I kind of felt like I was reading "Goodnight Moon" to my house...sort of like "Goodbye Fort Smith, Goodbye Creepy House, Goodbye little friend mouse who was living in my house...Goodbye furniture that did not fit in the truck, Goodbye trash can, Goodbye mud dobbers!" Actually, I was really sad only about the kids and their families...I really, really love those kids...I will miss them dearly! Other than them, I cannot say I will miss my house...I haven't slept well in a month, and I really won't miss the church, which is sad to say...but I'm ready to be in community with authentic people who can journey in faith together!!! I haven't experienced that working in a church for 3 solid years. It's time!!

I am really going to love being home...it's already been worth it! I've been able to do more in 3 days of knowing I'm staying here than I ever was able to do visiting for a weekend or even a week! I'm just waiting to see what God is doing with us...amidst the high stress transition time. We'll see, we'll see. Until then, we're hanging in there, enjoying being in Wichita. :) Pictures to come!

You free me up...

So, after a wonderful week of hanging out with students, painting houses, six flags and white water rafting, we came home at 10:30 Saturday night to find that our house had been broken into. I went to unlock the door, and for some reason turned the handle instead, finding the door already unlocked. Our house was a mess, clothes strewn everywhere, things not where they had been left, piles of stationary, magazines, picture albums, empty baskets where our stuff once was, and the obvious absence of some of our most "prized" possessions - namely Craig's Taylor and Fender, the two Youth laptops, and the small diamond necklace Craig had given me for our one year dating anniversary that I wore when we were married. Not to mention the sack full of credit card offers to be shredded, our new mail and all of my checks, and about $350 in cash (#75 of which was from the Youth to give to Blood Water Mission).

Needless to say, it was not a happy evening. I was angry, frightened, confused, but most of all I felt sick. Knowing that someone, most likely more than one someone, had been in my house for who knows how long, meticulously going through my personal things, looking at pictures of my family, and carelessly throwing things about made me feel very violated. I did not sleep that night. Actually, it's been a rough few days afterwards. Our landlord promptly had our door fixed (they came in through our bedroom door off the patio, used a crowbar and tore off the inside door frame so it wouldn't lock) and that made me feel a little better, but I still don't feel comfortable in my own home, and don't like to be home alone in the evenings.

So in saying all this, there are a couple of strange things to mention. One, whoever was clearing out my closet, throwing things about looking for money, happened to miss a huge, clear box with brightly colored folders containing all my actual credit cards. Now, isn't that odd? Secondly, my baby's room wasn't touched.

I don't know what it is about Caleb's room, but ever since it has been set up ready for a baby, it has been the most comfortable, safe, and sacred room in our house to me. I used to go in there and read before Caleb was born, and when I couldn't sleep Saturday night, it was the only place I could go in my house and feel safe. It's like the thieves who came to steal were blinded to two very important things - I of course went ahead and cancelled all my credit cards anyway, but the fact that I had the actual plastic was amazing to me given the condition of the room. And the fact that my baby's stuff wasn't touched at all was such a blessing, knowing that my child was somehow protected from all of this, even if he doesn't know it. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it does to me...

The other thing that surprised me about both Craig and myself (but mostly Craig because it was mostly his very few precious things that were taken) was the surfacing attitude we found we hold toward our stuff. And it wasn't the attitude I expected; it was an attitude of 'it's just stuff.' The sickening feeling did not come from the loss of our stuff, and I was very to find out in such a tangible way that we are not people who 'store up for ourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.' I hope this is the last time we are confronted with this issue in this way...

You free me up to live this life

Far from any Earthly sense of hope

And there's a place where I belong

But there's nothing here I really own

I really own.

-Downhere

No catchy title

I mentioned yesterday how much I love blogging...I think it's because I can type so much faster than I can write. The ramblings that were once strictly reserved for my journal pages now have wings via the Internet, and my fingers work much faster on a keyboard. I guess these days thoughts flow quite rapidly through my brain, and if my fingers are working with me I have a better chance of catching and preserving them in this virtual mason jar. That said, I will continue to fill journal pages until I die, regardless of the seemingly infinite capacity of the Web. There is just no substitute for written word (in my opinion of course), and if I had a lot of money I'd probably buy a lot of books (and shoes...). And, I digress.

Where was I again? Oh yeah, blogging. I love how people use their blogs so differently - I love reading about peoples' stories and journeys, thoughts and ramblings...maybe I like knowing that I'm not the only one with completely random thoughts...of course I know that, but it's nice to be affirmed in the validity of one's randomness. That said, perhaps this blogging experience will allow me to step out a little more of the self-created comfort zone which is my own mind into the world of the brave 'bearers of all.' Okay, I may not be bearing all here (after all, that's what my journal is for...) but I may be able to bear some, and at very least get out some of the ideas and things I think about out there for myself to process, and hopefully to continue the dialogue that races through my brain day by day.

And that, in less words, is the more.

A mi me gusta el 'blog'

I love blogging. love it. LOVE IT! that is all. more tomorrow! but i will leave you with a few pool pictures from last week's front yard water extravaganza!

Those little eyebrows are so expressive

I love these swim trunks!!

Freedom

We visited the tiny town of Peabody, Kansas this year for the 4th of July. It's amazing that such a small, fairly run-down town in South Central Kansas can put on such a great fireworks display. This was my second Peabody experience, and I must say I'm impressed. This coming from a big city gal like me (haha!!) who is used to downtown displays on the river. Sadly, I don't have many pictures as my camera died early on in the day.

However, I will share some of the day we spent with Craig's dad, who happens to live in Peabody and is the main reason we spent our holiday there. It was really a great day, and Craig's brother and his wife as well as his sister and family came down to celebrate with us. It was so nice to have the siblings together spending quality time - something that rarely happens. I was even proud of Craig's dad, who cleaned his house in anticipation of our arrival as well as grilled hamburgers and hotdogs, and made homemade baked beans, potato salad and strawberry banana jello.

(Caleb absolutely adores lawnmowers - "mawn moii!")

Money money money money....MONEY!

the garage sale was a success! it was also a lot of hard work. i spent all evening thursday cleaning out the garage, spiders and all...and then friday organizing and marking/pricing items...and then waking up at 6:45 to start the day of madness! well, actually it wasn't really a day of madness, really. it rained all day and was hot and sticky, i got many a mosquito bite, and spent a lot of time folding and reorganizing after each person left. i could totally manage a retail store, i am sure of it! but, at the end of the day (2:00pm) i ended up with only a large kitchen table, coffee table and ugly end table and 2 trash bags of clothes and misc. items!! and i made $175 bucks!! my first garage sale...so proud, so proud. :)

mostly i am just so glad to get rid of so much crap! seriously people, who needs a shirt they haven't worn in 5 years. that's right folks...i have (had) clothes i haven't (hadn't) worn in FIVE years. good riddance!!!! and my garage is clean and almost spider free, thank goodness. it was really driving me crazy.

so now the question is, what am i going to do with the money? well, i don't know yet. i really want a new couch...so i may start a little couch + chair and a half fund, to be bought in the near future. we'll see...but it's definitely going into some savings fund. yay!

other news: craig goes tomorrow for an interview with eastside. i am praying that everything goes smoothly - this is very exciting!

Pictures!

Southside High Graduation May 08'

First Swim of the Summer

Hanging out before bedtime

come 'sale' away with me!

oh how my humor just cracks me up!

it's official...i have paid my $9.25 advertising fee and am having a garage sale this weekend! i am both excited and nervous, as this is my first time putting the whole thing together, and have called my mom (the expert) for many tips on pricing, signage, and how much cash to have on hand. i have a lot of work to do over the next two days, that's for sure. i have to be honest in saying that i really wish we were home having this garage sale and that my mom could actually be there...kind of silly, really. sounds like she's missing my wedding or something...and a garage sale is NOT a big deal, by any means...but i guess it's just one more thing that makes me want to be home.

my family has played host to a plethora of garage sales over the years, and it's always been such a fun thing to do - funny, i never really wanted much to do with those garage sales when i was younger...now i want everyone close so they can be a part of it too. i'm strange, i know. i just miss my family. i anxiously await the day we are in close proximity again. actually, my heart aches for home. i never thought i'd say that! but i miss so many things about wichita - from the grocery stores to the river festival, my mom!!, getting to see my brothers and sister, dad & joyce, hanging out with grandma and grandpa, the shopping (i miss my towne east and target), all the way down to knowing the latest and (not so) greatest details of the newest family member drama. i miss getting to hang out at thanksgiving and christmas, and any other random holiday as an excuse to get together and eat dinner. i want to go to east high basketball games and k-state football games, and spend time with close friends...i want to eat at chipotle and timberline whenever i want, and run in sedgwick county park, and go to the zoo!! i want caleb to experience all of this as well...*sigh* it makes me so excited thinking about it, and knowing that it may all be a very 'real' reality soon.

a day with sand and sticks

April 08'

how did i get here?

my baby boy is officially 18 months old (as of yesterday)! this is amazing to me...i am amazed...and rarely do i get to sit down and actually realize how amazed i really am. :) wow. "oh wow" as he would say. i love absolutely everything about him, and watching him grow, knowing that we have been given such a great responsibility, is vastly overwhelming and immensely exciting...and amazing...did i mention he is amazing? well...he is... :)

stuff

i am addicted to shopping. i am. i am addicted to it. i love shopping for clothes, shoes, purses, clothes for craig and caleb, home decorating items, furniture, cars, and even food. i get a rush out of buying something new, from swiping my debit (not credit!) card, from transfers of cash. i love bringing sacks full of stuff home and unpacking them. i love trying on my new purchases and hanging them in the closet. i love throwing old things away and replacing them with new.

i am also indecisive. i will spend hours researching items online, pouring over which purchase to make. since we don't have all that much money, i feel if i am going to purchase something, it must be the exact thing i need that will make me most happy. and, enter problem. why, knowing that stuff does not make me happy, do i still spend so much time looking for stuff that will make me happy? new stuff, mind you. i'm a new stuff kind of shopper. but it's so hard for me to keep my focus clear, keep my focus on the things of heaven when i'm in addict mode with the things of this world. now don't get me wrong...there's nothing intrinsically wrong with shopping - in healthy doses shopping is wonderful! but i feel the need to shop every day for something. anything...looking for things i need at home, things for my family, as well as things i can't afford but dream about...

the point is it has to stop. this earthly addiction. the point isn't the stuff, but that i feel almost an emptiness when i don't get a new something 'stuff' in a day's time. i fill my time looking for stuff and become distracted from my God who calls me to store my treasures in heaven, where moths and rust do not destroy and thieves do not break in and steal. for where my treasure is, there my heart will be also. maybe it's my longing for something to fill my life, and i look for it in stuff. god, teach me to fill my life with you. prompt me to spend my time with you, as i have access to you at all times. you have given me the prime opportunity to spend time with you every day, yet i choose so often to spend my time looking for stuff instead. thank you for the blessing of choice, and the responsibility to choose you. help me to make that choice every day. i know when i follow you and fill my time with you, my cup overflows, and my life is satisfying. stuff only fills for a minute, and only leaves me desiring more stuff. God, be the stuff that fills my life, and leaves me only longing for more of you.

things.

I'm going to try blogging. I should have started a long time ago. Wouldn't it have been fun to look back on things before when they were more simple? Life has become complicated, in the end in a good way, I suppose. I guess complications add character when kept in perspective...or at least that's what I hope. Because things have become complicated...or I have made them so. Something happened to adventure and awe, and those things are simple. Trying to win them back is complicated. I think this is normal, and human. But have you ever had a desire in which you knew the outcome of fulfillment and still couldn't shake it? What is it in me that goes to war? The battle against such is my life. Welcome.