it's my first experience with grief and loss. If it is already so painful to lose someone in a relationship, I cannot imagine how much harder it will be to experience the grief and loss associated with losing someone to death.
But grief and loss are part of life I guess. Does one really ever
recover from any loss though? Sure time makes everything less painful,
but do we ever get over the loss? I don't know the answer to that for
now. But maybe in time I will.
I know that loss is never easy, but I guess one can never know just how painful the process can be until one really experiences it themselves. But we eventually all survive the process. It gets better with time. So for now, I will trudge on day by day and let time do it's work.
I'm still hopeful that we will end up together someday. I guess after a relationship like that, one cannot help but remain hopeful of that chance. Love you.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Monday, December 08, 2014
Wednesday, December 03, 2014
--
bad night. sadness, jealously, anger, disappointment. one after another in what seems like a never ending wave of emotion.
emotions clouds judgment, I guess that's what I realized through this period. The brain is an amazing complex machine. Your cognition is influenced by your emotions. It's like, if you are enveloped by jealousy and want to find evidence to fuel that jealousy, your brain will seek out that information, and even construe the facts to make it seem like you found the evidence you want. It's amazing to witness and experience it, but terrifying at the same time. Imagine the implications that has on life. When your brain makes you see what you want to see..
note to self: when you finally get over this, and read your blog again consider the following research topics:
emotions and morality - this is interesting..will emotions affect morality, and is it dependent on group membership? For example, if you are typically an immoral person, will you be moral based on whether the target of your actions is part of your in-group or out-group? In addition, is there an interaction between emotions and group membership? ie, if you are feeling jealous, will you do immoral things to your in-group members?
emotions and cognition - how emotions affect your cognition. particularly, how negative emotions affect our cognitive ability. I'm guessing current research will show that negative emotions reduces our cognitive ability because some resources will have to be diverted to regulate negative emotions. But could it be that negative emotions actually increases our cognitive ability in certain domains? For example, being jealous makes you more sensitive to the words your partner says. Wouldn't this imply an increase in cognitive ability because to be more sensitive to the words, you have to devote more resources to think and analyze them? Take note: consider the possibility that increased cognitive ability may not be beneficial in such a situation, but nevertheless, the fact that there is increased cognitive ability when faced with negative emotions is significant enough.
emotions clouds judgment, I guess that's what I realized through this period. The brain is an amazing complex machine. Your cognition is influenced by your emotions. It's like, if you are enveloped by jealousy and want to find evidence to fuel that jealousy, your brain will seek out that information, and even construe the facts to make it seem like you found the evidence you want. It's amazing to witness and experience it, but terrifying at the same time. Imagine the implications that has on life. When your brain makes you see what you want to see..
note to self: when you finally get over this, and read your blog again consider the following research topics:
emotions and morality - this is interesting..will emotions affect morality, and is it dependent on group membership? For example, if you are typically an immoral person, will you be moral based on whether the target of your actions is part of your in-group or out-group? In addition, is there an interaction between emotions and group membership? ie, if you are feeling jealous, will you do immoral things to your in-group members?
emotions and cognition - how emotions affect your cognition. particularly, how negative emotions affect our cognitive ability. I'm guessing current research will show that negative emotions reduces our cognitive ability because some resources will have to be diverted to regulate negative emotions. But could it be that negative emotions actually increases our cognitive ability in certain domains? For example, being jealous makes you more sensitive to the words your partner says. Wouldn't this imply an increase in cognitive ability because to be more sensitive to the words, you have to devote more resources to think and analyze them? Take note: consider the possibility that increased cognitive ability may not be beneficial in such a situation, but nevertheless, the fact that there is increased cognitive ability when faced with negative emotions is significant enough.
Tuesday, December 02, 2014
Monday, December 01, 2014
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Friday, November 28, 2014
thanksgiving
I'm thankful for meeting you, and for being a part of my life.
Maybe next year we could spend thanksgiving together...
Maybe next year we could spend thanksgiving together...
--
advice to people going through a breakup: take whatever relationship advice article you see online with a pinch of salt. Some of them are great and helpful, but some of them just offer the most atrocious and ridiculous advice ever.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
--
I hate this version of me. This insecure, jealous, and suspicious bob. It's a side of me that I encountered before, but never did I expect to become so insecure and jealous. And it's all because of you. Just what is it about you Joan that makes me feel and act this way around you?
It's not like this is the normal me..deep down, I still am the confident, independent Bob who thinks he's awesome and the best guy ever. But why do I become this pathetic version of myself when I'm faced with the thought of losing you??
I know that if we break up, I will eventually find another girl, who is going to be better than you. Another girl who I could start a family with and have a peaceful and joyous life. But yet, I still find myself acting so needy and insecure whenever I'm faced with the thought of losing you. It's crazy..how you can make me act like this pathetic version of myself.
Joan, I will be the one person that will be able to give you lasting happiness. You will not ever find someone else who loves you as much as I do and is as committed and dedicated to you as I am. Other than me, you will also not ever find someone else who will give in to you and strives to make your life a meaningful and happy one. I know that if we break up, it will be your greatest loss ever, and years down the road, you will be the one looking back with regrets, blaming yourself for not keeping hold of me.
But even when I believe all these to be true, I still become the pathetic needy, insecure boyfriend whenever I'm faced with the prospect of losing you. I don't understand why. I don't want to be this version of me. It's exhausting being insecure, jealous and suspicious all the time. But why can I not find the strength to break up!!!
It's not like this is the normal me..deep down, I still am the confident, independent Bob who thinks he's awesome and the best guy ever. But why do I become this pathetic version of myself when I'm faced with the thought of losing you??
I know that if we break up, I will eventually find another girl, who is going to be better than you. Another girl who I could start a family with and have a peaceful and joyous life. But yet, I still find myself acting so needy and insecure whenever I'm faced with the thought of losing you. It's crazy..how you can make me act like this pathetic version of myself.
Joan, I will be the one person that will be able to give you lasting happiness. You will not ever find someone else who loves you as much as I do and is as committed and dedicated to you as I am. Other than me, you will also not ever find someone else who will give in to you and strives to make your life a meaningful and happy one. I know that if we break up, it will be your greatest loss ever, and years down the road, you will be the one looking back with regrets, blaming yourself for not keeping hold of me.
But even when I believe all these to be true, I still become the pathetic needy, insecure boyfriend whenever I'm faced with the prospect of losing you. I don't understand why. I don't want to be this version of me. It's exhausting being insecure, jealous and suspicious all the time. But why can I not find the strength to break up!!!
--
Today has been such a rough day..trying to decide whether to hang on or give up..
Hope is such a bitch sometimes. Why did you give me hope..it is apparent now that you just don't want me in your life anymore. All your reasons, your aloofness, all indicate that you no longer want me in your new life anymore. Why do you still give me hope that we still might get back together then?? I don't know what your intentions are. Are you playing with me?? Are you doing these because you think that it will soften the blow of the breakup?? Or are you doing all these to keep me around in case your other options don't work out??
I don't know what you are trying to do, but if you know that there is nothing left to save between us, then please, just tell me that straight up so that I can lose all hope of us, start to pick up the pieces and get my life going again.
Hope is such a bitch sometimes. Why did you give me hope..it is apparent now that you just don't want me in your life anymore. All your reasons, your aloofness, all indicate that you no longer want me in your new life anymore. Why do you still give me hope that we still might get back together then?? I don't know what your intentions are. Are you playing with me?? Are you doing these because you think that it will soften the blow of the breakup?? Or are you doing all these to keep me around in case your other options don't work out??
I don't know what you are trying to do, but if you know that there is nothing left to save between us, then please, just tell me that straight up so that I can lose all hope of us, start to pick up the pieces and get my life going again.
--
You know how you used to say that you expect your boyfriend to call and talk to you every night?
I found that a chore sometimes, but still tried to stick to it. But now, I kinda miss that alot...those nightly phone calls where we can just talk about anything and everything..
I found that a chore sometimes, but still tried to stick to it. But now, I kinda miss that alot...those nightly phone calls where we can just talk about anything and everything..
Be A Good Man, Because A Woman Will Never Forget How You Treated Her
Just when I was beginning to resent you..I chance upon articles like this to remind me to be the better man.
Too many of you say that women do not really want a nice guy. You firmly believe from your bad experiences that most women actually enjoy being treated badly. I can assure you this is not true.
When you are good to a woman — even if it ends for whatever reason — she will always remember you. You may never know that, but she will. She will think about the way you made her laugh or the way you dried her tears. She will remember the way she could speak to you for hours. She will remember that you made her feel like a woman, that even when she was wrong, you still made her feel like a woman. You will be the standard for all of the men in her life that follow. If they can’t compete with you or do better, they become bottom of the barrel. You are the man whose shoes no one has yet to outshine. Continue to be that man because there is a woman who is going to adore you and appreciate you for everything you are worth.
A woman may choose to stay with a man who treats her badly because she fell in love with him during a time when he was pretending to be pleasant (somewhere in the beginning stages of their relationship). However, she won’t last with a man who is malicious for the rest of her life. Over time, every mean or hurtful thing that man does will begin to build up inside of her like boiling water.
That woman who was once in love and who once catered to her man’s every whim will begin to fall out of love. She will become less caring, and less nurturing. Her heart will grow colder. He won’t see it, not until it is too late. He is blind and will continue to mistreat her. An ignorant man will seal his own fate. He will think its okay to treat his woman this way. She loves him so she is sure to stay. That man has no idea that his woman has an icy storm brewing inside of her heart. Where love once lived is a heart now torn apart. She loves him so much or so he believes. He knows she will stay, but what he chooses not to see is her mind has already broken away.
So you have an option. Treat your women right or don’t, but when you end up alone and can’t figure out what was the matter just remember that woman whose heart you shattered.
You can never take away the words you said. They will live with her until the day she is dead. So watch your words and be kind, not cruel, or you may end up sad and lonely.
There is only so much one heart can handle; only so much one girl can handle before she breaks.
Most women truly do not want much. It isn’t a lot to send her a good morning text. It isn’t a lot to call her on your free time. It isn’t a lot to take her out on dates and spend one on one time with her. It isn’t a lot to watch your mouth. It isn’t a lot to treat her like a woman. She will love and adore you for it.
There is a saying that whatever you give a woman she will give you ten times more. That saying couldn’t be truer. So if you want to be adored, and spoiled and loved, you must stop being vicious, selfish, and rude.
Nice guys do not finish last. Truly nice guys get the girl in the end. At the end of the day, no matter how much money you make or how many muscles you have, a woman looking for real love is going to find her worth, along with a man who deserves her. Your money will be spent, and your looks are sure to go, but if you have a good heart, love can flourish. So be the nice guy or risk losing your women to men who are far better than you ever could be.
This does not mean that you allow yourselves to be treated badly either, but it means opening your heart to good women. It means being a compromising person. It means being forgiving, and nurturing… the kind of man who would make a good husband and father. Do not be a doormat for a woman who does not appreciate you; however, if your woman loves and adores you, be kind because if you don’t, you will lose her in the end
Too many of you say that women do not really want a nice guy. You firmly believe from your bad experiences that most women actually enjoy being treated badly. I can assure you this is not true.
Your words and your actions
can have effects on a woman that will last her a lifetime. That cruel
comment you made about her mother, that day you were so angry you called
her out of her name, those times you ignored her for no reason at all,
the times you chose not to text or call and decided your friends were
more important than she was, the times you didn’t open her car door, or
walk her to her front door like a lady, she carries those in her mind.
And she carries them over to the next man.
Women remember every nice thing you do or say in the same way they remember every pitiless thing.When you are good to a woman — even if it ends for whatever reason — she will always remember you. You may never know that, but she will. She will think about the way you made her laugh or the way you dried her tears. She will remember the way she could speak to you for hours. She will remember that you made her feel like a woman, that even when she was wrong, you still made her feel like a woman. You will be the standard for all of the men in her life that follow. If they can’t compete with you or do better, they become bottom of the barrel. You are the man whose shoes no one has yet to outshine. Continue to be that man because there is a woman who is going to adore you and appreciate you for everything you are worth.
A woman may choose to stay with a man who treats her badly because she fell in love with him during a time when he was pretending to be pleasant (somewhere in the beginning stages of their relationship). However, she won’t last with a man who is malicious for the rest of her life. Over time, every mean or hurtful thing that man does will begin to build up inside of her like boiling water.
That woman who was once in love and who once catered to her man’s every whim will begin to fall out of love. She will become less caring, and less nurturing. Her heart will grow colder. He won’t see it, not until it is too late. He is blind and will continue to mistreat her. An ignorant man will seal his own fate. He will think its okay to treat his woman this way. She loves him so she is sure to stay. That man has no idea that his woman has an icy storm brewing inside of her heart. Where love once lived is a heart now torn apart. She loves him so much or so he believes. He knows she will stay, but what he chooses not to see is her mind has already broken away.
So you have an option. Treat your women right or don’t, but when you end up alone and can’t figure out what was the matter just remember that woman whose heart you shattered.
You can never take away the words you said. They will live with her until the day she is dead. So watch your words and be kind, not cruel, or you may end up sad and lonely.
There is only so much one heart can handle; only so much one girl can handle before she breaks.
Most women truly do not want much. It isn’t a lot to send her a good morning text. It isn’t a lot to call her on your free time. It isn’t a lot to take her out on dates and spend one on one time with her. It isn’t a lot to watch your mouth. It isn’t a lot to treat her like a woman. She will love and adore you for it.
There is a saying that whatever you give a woman she will give you ten times more. That saying couldn’t be truer. So if you want to be adored, and spoiled and loved, you must stop being vicious, selfish, and rude.
Nice guys do not finish last. Truly nice guys get the girl in the end. At the end of the day, no matter how much money you make or how many muscles you have, a woman looking for real love is going to find her worth, along with a man who deserves her. Your money will be spent, and your looks are sure to go, but if you have a good heart, love can flourish. So be the nice guy or risk losing your women to men who are far better than you ever could be.
This does not mean that you allow yourselves to be treated badly either, but it means opening your heart to good women. It means being a compromising person. It means being forgiving, and nurturing… the kind of man who would make a good husband and father. Do not be a doormat for a woman who does not appreciate you; however, if your woman loves and adores you, be kind because if you don’t, you will lose her in the end
--
Bad night yesterday..kept dreaming/ thinking of you. Actually I don't know if I was dreaming or thinking..I can't even figure out if I was asleep or awake at that time.
I hope you realize what it meant for me when you said we'll break up and consider getting back together again when you return. You told me you wanted this because although you still love me, you are not coping well enough in the states to have capacity to deal with our relationship now.
But is that really the case..are you really so busy in the states that you cannot handle our relationship anymore? Or are you just so into your new life, that you no longer want me in it? Initially I trusted what you said. But as time goes by, it seems that you're having the time of your life there, and I start to question your reason. Meanwhile, I'm here and forced to live in misery everyday. The thought of you having the time of your life, while forcing me to live mine in misery makes me so angry and disappointed.
But that's what you dealt me with..and I have to respect your wishes. The only option I have left now, is to decide whether I want to continue holding on until you return to talk about it. To be honest, there's no such thing as having a break up, but still being friends, at least not between us. I care and love you too much to just be a friend. So a true break up for me will mean that we never contact each other ever again, with no chance of us ever getting back together.
With the position I'm in now, the only decision I could control is whether I want a true break up or not. If so, then there will be no need for us to talk when you come back, because there will be nothing for us to talk about already. The thought of throwing in the towel comes up at least once everyday. But everyday I suppress that thought because I believe that you still love me, and as long as you do, then it's worth living this misery for a chance of reconciliation.
But I'm starting to believe that you no longer love me, and the urge to end it all is getting harder to suppress.
Maybe it's just my insecurity acting out..
I hope you realize what it meant for me when you said we'll break up and consider getting back together again when you return. You told me you wanted this because although you still love me, you are not coping well enough in the states to have capacity to deal with our relationship now.
But is that really the case..are you really so busy in the states that you cannot handle our relationship anymore? Or are you just so into your new life, that you no longer want me in it? Initially I trusted what you said. But as time goes by, it seems that you're having the time of your life there, and I start to question your reason. Meanwhile, I'm here and forced to live in misery everyday. The thought of you having the time of your life, while forcing me to live mine in misery makes me so angry and disappointed.
But that's what you dealt me with..and I have to respect your wishes. The only option I have left now, is to decide whether I want to continue holding on until you return to talk about it. To be honest, there's no such thing as having a break up, but still being friends, at least not between us. I care and love you too much to just be a friend. So a true break up for me will mean that we never contact each other ever again, with no chance of us ever getting back together.
With the position I'm in now, the only decision I could control is whether I want a true break up or not. If so, then there will be no need for us to talk when you come back, because there will be nothing for us to talk about already. The thought of throwing in the towel comes up at least once everyday. But everyday I suppress that thought because I believe that you still love me, and as long as you do, then it's worth living this misery for a chance of reconciliation.
But I'm starting to believe that you no longer love me, and the urge to end it all is getting harder to suppress.
Maybe it's just my insecurity acting out..
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
who is this viewer from the united states?
i know you're reading my blog. I would like to get to know you. I seldom have visitors to my blog...anyway if you would like to chat, email me: kickmi@msn.com
--
I've been reading through our past conversations again.
In mid october, everything seems fine between us. Nothing seems amiss.
1 week later, you start commenting that you are starting to feel distant, but everything still seems fine on the surface. By the end of october, you said that you wanted to break up. Early november we decided to take a break from each other. The break never really did work though, we still continued to talk to each other. By mid november, we officially broke up.
Everything within a span of 2 months. What happened to you within these 2 months?? Why was there such a sudden and drastic change?
I don't believe that you could stop loving me within 2 months. But why..why are you acting this way now. We had a solid relationship that was going well for the both of us. A relationship built upon trust, love and commitment. What happened????
In mid october, everything seems fine between us. Nothing seems amiss.
1 week later, you start commenting that you are starting to feel distant, but everything still seems fine on the surface. By the end of october, you said that you wanted to break up. Early november we decided to take a break from each other. The break never really did work though, we still continued to talk to each other. By mid november, we officially broke up.
Everything within a span of 2 months. What happened to you within these 2 months?? Why was there such a sudden and drastic change?
I don't believe that you could stop loving me within 2 months. But why..why are you acting this way now. We had a solid relationship that was going well for the both of us. A relationship built upon trust, love and commitment. What happened????
Monday, November 24, 2014
--
It's been a struggle living within this state of limbo while waiting for you to come home to talk. Some days are better than others, but overall it's been a living hell. Everyday, I find myself waking up at 4am, thinking about you. Thinking about our relationship, and what went wrong with it. Asking myself what happened, trying to rationalize your behavior.
Throughout the day, I can't resist the urge to look at my phone. Hoping for you to talk to me. Even when I try to distract myself by doing work, I inevitably find myself thinking about us. My emotions oscillate throughout the day. Sometimes I start off feeling sad and hurt, wondering why we are now in such a state. The next moment, I start imagining you and chuck, doing things we used to do together, getting intimate with each other. The ugly feelings of jealousy, insecurity and anger are always the worst. The urge to message you and ask you all sorts of question then arises, and subsequently the even greater task of suppressing these urges and letting the emotions ride past. Sometimes, feelings of hope and gratitude emerge. Thankful for the times we spent together, and the hope that we may still have a chance to work this out. Other times, feelings of despair and helplessness, knowing that a relationship needs two to work.
I thought it will get better as time goes by. After all, time heals all wounds right? But I guess the healing cannot start until everything is set in stone, and until then, I'm trapped in this endless cycle of tormented emotions. To be honest, being together with you for the past 18 months has brought me the greatest happiness I've ever experienced in all the years I've lived. But now, I find myself asking if all that happiness is worth the pain that I'm experiencing right now. The past 2 months, has been an living hell. I've never ever felt such despair, and emotional heartbreak over and over again, days after days, weeks after weeks. But yet at the same time, the glimmer of hope pushes me to not give up, to keep holding on until you come home.
Each time you don't reciprocate my affection, my heart breaks a little. It has come to the point now where I'm afraid of even saying affectionate stuff because of the rejection that follows. It's stupid operant conditioning at work here, but god it's so hard to not be affected by it.
Well, I chose this path. So suck it up bob. 1 more month to go. Please let me find the strength to carry on. Please let me find the willpower to ride out the emotions and resist the urge to confront you. Please give me the strength to be kind and understanding to you.
Throughout the day, I can't resist the urge to look at my phone. Hoping for you to talk to me. Even when I try to distract myself by doing work, I inevitably find myself thinking about us. My emotions oscillate throughout the day. Sometimes I start off feeling sad and hurt, wondering why we are now in such a state. The next moment, I start imagining you and chuck, doing things we used to do together, getting intimate with each other. The ugly feelings of jealousy, insecurity and anger are always the worst. The urge to message you and ask you all sorts of question then arises, and subsequently the even greater task of suppressing these urges and letting the emotions ride past. Sometimes, feelings of hope and gratitude emerge. Thankful for the times we spent together, and the hope that we may still have a chance to work this out. Other times, feelings of despair and helplessness, knowing that a relationship needs two to work.
I thought it will get better as time goes by. After all, time heals all wounds right? But I guess the healing cannot start until everything is set in stone, and until then, I'm trapped in this endless cycle of tormented emotions. To be honest, being together with you for the past 18 months has brought me the greatest happiness I've ever experienced in all the years I've lived. But now, I find myself asking if all that happiness is worth the pain that I'm experiencing right now. The past 2 months, has been an living hell. I've never ever felt such despair, and emotional heartbreak over and over again, days after days, weeks after weeks. But yet at the same time, the glimmer of hope pushes me to not give up, to keep holding on until you come home.
Each time you don't reciprocate my affection, my heart breaks a little. It has come to the point now where I'm afraid of even saying affectionate stuff because of the rejection that follows. It's stupid operant conditioning at work here, but god it's so hard to not be affected by it.
Well, I chose this path. So suck it up bob. 1 more month to go. Please let me find the strength to carry on. Please let me find the willpower to ride out the emotions and resist the urge to confront you. Please give me the strength to be kind and understanding to you.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
The Truth About Meeting Someone At The Wrong Time
I happen to chance upon this article on thoughtcatalog that seems to explain everything perfectly...there is no perfect time to be in a relationship with someone, just like how there is no perfect love.
Timing is something that none of us can seem to get quite right with relationships. We meet the person of our dreams the month before they leave to go study abroad. We form an incredibly close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken. One relationship ends because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because they’re getting serious too soon.
“It would be perfect,” We moan to our friends, “If only this were five years from now/eight years sooner/some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves.” Timing seems to be the invariable third party in all of our relationships. And yet we never stop to consider why we let timing play such a drastic role in our lives.
Timing is a bitch, yes. But it’s only a bitch if we let it be. Here’s a simple truth that I think we all need to face up to: the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people.
You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backwards. The right people don’t make you hmm and haw about whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. You know that any adventure you had originally planned out for your future isn’t going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have by their side. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.
When you are with the right person, time falls away. You don’t worry about fitting them into your complicated schedule, because they become a part of that schedule. They become the backbone of it. Your happiness becomes your priority and so long as they are contributing to it, you can work around the rest.
The right people don’t stand in the way of the things you once wanted and make you choose them over them. The right people encourage you: To try harder, dream bigger, do better. They bring out the most incredible parts of yourself and make you want to fight harder than ever before. The right people don’t impose limits on your time or your dreams or your abilities. They want to tackle those mountains with you, and they don’t care how much time it takes. With the right person, you have all of the time in the world.
The truth is, when we pass someone up because the timing is wrong, what we are really saying is that we don’t care to spend our time on that person. There will never be a magical time when everything falls into place and fixes all our broken relationships. But there may someday be a person who makes the issue of timing irrelevant.
Because when someone is right for us, we make the time to let them into our lives. And that kind of timing is always right.
Timing is something that none of us can seem to get quite right with relationships. We meet the person of our dreams the month before they leave to go study abroad. We form an incredibly close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken. One relationship ends because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because they’re getting serious too soon.
“It would be perfect,” We moan to our friends, “If only this were five years from now/eight years sooner/some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves.” Timing seems to be the invariable third party in all of our relationships. And yet we never stop to consider why we let timing play such a drastic role in our lives.
Timing is a bitch, yes. But it’s only a bitch if we let it be. Here’s a simple truth that I think we all need to face up to: the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people.
You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backwards. The right people don’t make you hmm and haw about whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. You know that any adventure you had originally planned out for your future isn’t going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have by their side. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.
When you are with the right person, time falls away. You don’t worry about fitting them into your complicated schedule, because they become a part of that schedule. They become the backbone of it. Your happiness becomes your priority and so long as they are contributing to it, you can work around the rest.
The right people don’t stand in the way of the things you once wanted and make you choose them over them. The right people encourage you: To try harder, dream bigger, do better. They bring out the most incredible parts of yourself and make you want to fight harder than ever before. The right people don’t impose limits on your time or your dreams or your abilities. They want to tackle those mountains with you, and they don’t care how much time it takes. With the right person, you have all of the time in the world.
The truth is, when we pass someone up because the timing is wrong, what we are really saying is that we don’t care to spend our time on that person. There will never be a magical time when everything falls into place and fixes all our broken relationships. But there may someday be a person who makes the issue of timing irrelevant.
Because when someone is right for us, we make the time to let them into our lives. And that kind of timing is always right.
Sunday, November 09, 2014
i won't give up on us.
everyone in the world strives to find someone who they want to spend their life with. The person who constantly pushes them to do better, to aim higher. The person who understands you inside out. The person who loves you for who you are.
Some people never ever find that person even after looking for their whole lives. I'm lucky. I found her early, and I'm never letting her slip away from me.
Career is important. However, a career will never be more important than you. A career brings me joy and accomplishment. You bring me even more joy. I'm not saying that I should throw everything away for you though. Indeed, that's something you don't want me to do as well. But at the same time, there needs to be a balance between career and relationships. Having an excellent career with no one to share it with, isn't very exciting for me at all.
What would my greatest regret be when I look back upon today 30 years later.
My greatest regret will be letting you leave, and losing this perfect relationship that we had built.
I don't know what lies ahead in front of us. But I know that among all the uncertainty, I want you, us, to be the certainty among the uncertain. If these 2 years are by any measure a taste of what we could achieve, and what we could accomplish, I daresay that we will have a pretty darn fantastic future together.
Don't give up on us yet. I know that it seems insurmountable now, but give our relationship a little faith. Have the will to stay committed to each other even though the mind is telling you to run for the hills. I have not let you down yet, and I don't plan to let you down now.
I love you.
Some people never ever find that person even after looking for their whole lives. I'm lucky. I found her early, and I'm never letting her slip away from me.
Career is important. However, a career will never be more important than you. A career brings me joy and accomplishment. You bring me even more joy. I'm not saying that I should throw everything away for you though. Indeed, that's something you don't want me to do as well. But at the same time, there needs to be a balance between career and relationships. Having an excellent career with no one to share it with, isn't very exciting for me at all.
What would my greatest regret be when I look back upon today 30 years later.
My greatest regret will be letting you leave, and losing this perfect relationship that we had built.
I don't know what lies ahead in front of us. But I know that among all the uncertainty, I want you, us, to be the certainty among the uncertain. If these 2 years are by any measure a taste of what we could achieve, and what we could accomplish, I daresay that we will have a pretty darn fantastic future together.
Don't give up on us yet. I know that it seems insurmountable now, but give our relationship a little faith. Have the will to stay committed to each other even though the mind is telling you to run for the hills. I have not let you down yet, and I don't plan to let you down now.
I love you.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)