*moodiness.spells.me*

bummed one second. happy the next. i can't take it. i need to do something to even myself out. ever since sunday and my minor "breakdown", i've had this feeling. it's a mixed feeling. i've been really bitchy lately tho. sorry! i dunno where it's come from. seems that i've been annoyed pretty easily too. grrr. how to get rid of this. it's probably a sleep thing. i think most ppl are suffering from a lack of sleep these days. bags under the eyes is the giveaway. altho, me ish lucky. don't get bags. but stillll. don't mean i'm not tired!!!

ooooh. got harry potter. muahaha. want to finish reading it soon. so i can get back to studying. u noe, there's this sense of urgency which i really should pick up on. but i just can't seem to. stupid sunday. normally i get over things really really easily. but this feeling just can't seem to be shrugged off. i kn still feel my anger.. and my hurt heart. i don't noe why. perhaps maybe bcoz it happened a number of times, and i've been shielding my heart from it for a long time. and maybe that shield just gave way. but i don't know. the only thing i do noe is that i feel angry. and i think that that anger is getting to everything else. i'm not really one to put on a fake persona or mask.. i can never succeed with doing that. can't make myself believe that i'm actually happy when i'm not. maybe sunday happened becoz of a few things which added together, was a lot. maybe i'm just not strong enough. maybe i should learn how to harden my heart to things which people say (in offense to me). or maybe i'm too sensitive. or maybe i was just emotionally volatile. who knows.

the only thing i know right now is that i've got to focus. but i just can't seem to do so. the things which keep me sane are the things which i told myself i need to control. but how stupid can i get? hrm. scary question.

finallllyy. before i go. i just want to shout out a word of thanx to the chubstaz. love u guys. =) thanx for being there.

*wonder.nostalgic.reminisce.ponder.*

so. i just wrote a reply email to the chubstaz. it really hit me you know. just how much God has blessed me with wonderful friendships. trish, nardz, duyen, jas, lassie, mel.. u guys are awesome. in the email i wrote to them... i quoted this very true inference about friends. "everyone hears what you say. friends listen to what you say. but best friends, they listen to what you don't say." how true is that you know? it's those kind of 'best friends' which you should embrace, hold onto, and cherish for all your lifetime. God has given us friends to help us along this long and winding path of life. next to choosing to believe in Him, we've also got to cherish our friends enough to help them come to know Christ, and love Him too. i stand amazed at the wonders of what God has done. what He has put in my life. the things that He has blessed me with and the things which He purposely put in my life to challenge me, and make me rise up to meet that challenge. i'm here - forever grateful.

so after reminiscing over that quote. i stumbled upon another "quote". it's not really a quote per se. coz it's quite long and.. un-quote like. buttt. it does point out some very very valuable things.

it goes like this.

<~>
the greatest handicap ---------- fear
the best day ---------- today
the easiest thing to do ---------- find fault
the most useless asset ---------- pride
the greatest mistake ---------- giving up
the greatest block ---------- egotism
the greatest comfort ---------- work done well
the most disagreeable person ---------- the complainer
the worst bankcruptcy ---------- loss of enthusiasm
the greatest need ---------- common sense
the best gift ---------- forgiveness
the greatest moment ---------- death
the greatest knowledge ---------- the great spirit
the greatest thing ---------- love
<~>


you know, the amazing thing is that all of those things link to my walk with Christ. i know many of you might not see it. but really it does. the greatest handicap is the fear of sharing my faith and my love of God. the best day is today because i can say that i took the opportunity to give someone a Bible - God's very own Word. the most useless asset is pride because i could ever think that i'm too good to share what i know about Christ - about how He loves us so much. the greatest mistake is giving up because we should never give up defending and standing up for our faith. the greatest comfort is work well done because we would know that we did bring someone to know Christ. the worst bankcruptcy in losing enthusiasm in sharing our faith. the greatest need is common sense, because common sense grants us the best method of sharing out faith with someone. the best gift is forgiveness because God forgive us for the many things we do to hurt Him. the greatest moment is death because it will be the day that i go and be with Christ for eternity. the greatest knowledge is the great spirit because He gives me comfort and a wholehearted indwelling spirit to continue life, walking as a child of God. and finally, the greatest thing is love because Christ first loved us, so we should love others, as God loved us.

remarkable. isn't it?

*ahh.school.*

soooo. first day of school. lol. it's definately kinda weird going back to skl after being on break for 2 weeks. being in year 12, u'd think i'd be used to the school-holiday-school-holiday transition thing. but yet.., when i went to skl today, i was tired! wait. that's silly. we all get tired coz of a lack of slp. but nah. this wasn't a lack of sleep. mehhhhh. okay okay. so nxt thing. had a history test today. yep first day back. period 4. gosh. i was sooooooo scared!! unbelievably scared. worse, it was so cold that my hands were frozen... that made it incredibly hard to write. lol. buuuutttttttt. i'm just glad that it's over. =D and hopefully i'll do okay. =)

just wanna shout out to aleesia. happy birthday! =D

*it's.quiz.time.ppl!.=)*

soooo. i was really bored. then i checked my mail and angela sent me a quiz (a quiz where i couldn't get the results to. so grr. lol) but yeahhh. she inspired me to create a quiz! hehe. =) it's not too hard. so u's better do gd! haha. okay okay.

click here to take my quiz and then click here for the scoreboard... =))

laterzz. hehe. have fun! =)

*camp.photos*

weeell. finally uploaded photos. hehe. but there'll still be more to come. want to get summore off rebekah and steph. =)) buttt. click here to view the photos thus far! =)) enjoyy.

*helloooo.fatness!*

lolll... holidays? definately means fatness. lol. and worse, it's winter. so all i feel like doing is sleeping, watching movies, and eating. lol. couldn't be much more homey.. or unhealthy. haha. but mehhh. i still gotta do SOMETHING constructive this week. like study? lol. orrrr. come up with the actions for the kids. yeaaahhhh. need to. okayyyyy. going. =p bubai!

*new.look*

weeeell! i thought i was about time that i got a new template. hehe. and this one seems highly appropriate! it's freeeeezing here! lol. camp was like. yeah. FREEZING! lol. ooh! if u get confused with the tagboard, there's an invisible scroll bar which is to the right of the text.. so keep clicking ur mouse.. and u'll eventually find it. or, alternatively u can just highlight the text to scroll it down. =))

oooh! happy b'day john! hehe. all going out to movies later.. hehe. fantastic 4. should be good. hehe. =)) annnddd! i'm driving there! hehehe. earlier, drove to church. first time on the freeway! wooooot! hehehe. was kinda nervous actually hey. but it was funnn. hehehe. =) okay okay. goingz now! laterz.

*home.sweet.home*

weeelllll. camp is over! and i'm so glad that i've learnt so many lessons! too many to even type here. sooooo i'll type the one which has made the biggest imprint on my heart. =) it's about playing for service. i learnt and realized that i've gotta have the right heart. i vow to never complain about playing piano for bible study, ypg, main worship or choir ever again. i'm gonna do it with a heart of joy! coz it's service to God. and He deserves my best. so i'll do all i can to do that. =)

sooo! another thing to thank God for.. =) i passed my driving test! woohoo! hehehe. =D i really really really can't believe that i passed on the first go. lol. and plus i got a real crank of a tester. lol. apparently he's got the highest failure rate in joondalup and his aim is to have the highest in W.A. lolll. so! i'm just counting my lucky stars that my nerves din take over me. lol. =p but it feels good to have the log book. hahah. not like i kn go n get my P's anyway. gotta wait till late sept. lol. so i'm preeetty sure i'll have 25 hrs by then. loll. =p

okay okay. i would post more. and post picturess.. but i'm tired. and out of resources. lol. sooo i'll post laterzz! see ya! =D