Help

I am tired.

Really tired.

Forgot how it's like to live an abundant carefree life.

Missing hubby. =(

Thank You, Father

Beautiful Lord, just to say thank You for all You have done. This year has been a very interesting year. I miss the honeymoon year. A whole year of freedom, joy and fun. Upon coming back, I know it was time to face responsibilities and all.

This year has been like an exodus into the promised area. It is a year filled with ups and downs and I know I have pulled through every obstacle with your help, with your timing, Lord. You have ordained everytime and You have made everything beautiful in Your time. If it had been earlier, we would have made it.If it had been later, we would still be struggling. Yet Your very timing is just right. I have yet to really sit down and reminisce of Your goodness and beauty. Every good gift that I have given and not yet say a good thank You, Father...

Thank You, Father...for You are wonderful. You have given so much, despite everything...

If I were to sit down and count each and every blessing, I know it will be endless..

For the car that I drive.
For the food on the table.
For the love that I have been showered.
For friends.
For family.
For work.
For the promised area.
For this place and that.
For the lovely moments ( I still miss them).
For everything big and small.
For every answered prayer..

Every wonderful thing from above...thank You..Father..

Lack of blogging

Have not blogged for ages.Actually, have been thinking of not blogging but do not know why today, I just feel like typing. Also, recently, an adorable sister asked me if she can have access. I thought I just locked them up and I have yet to invite anyone. I was debating yes or no, but then when life gets busy and blogging has gone down the lowest desire of thoughts. I just left it be...

Headache headache

I am stressed. I really think I am.

Feels trapped between the deep blue sea and the devil. Feels as if there is never enough time. PR is not the best thing in my list, hahaha..it's the worst. I am just a little hermit, hoping that no one sees me. :P

I am having a bad headache right now. Yet, the urge to blog is here. A friend asked me to update this blog, truly did not have time. Furthermore, this blog functions as a vent here instead of communicating.

In many ways, it is really really frustrating. If someone can't do it well, I wonder what makes someone think that I can do very well in that?

At times, with all these business and stress, housework is not helping. The lack of time is not helping. I snapped justnow. Really snapped. I really am frustrated at this minute. I wish I can explain everything...

I have done A, B, C, D, E and someone wants me to finish off F, G, H.

Can't you just understand???

Geram ku....

With everything piling up, with all these demands on me...yet the things I want to do now are...
Get my hair nicely done (if I can ever get to that...)
Clean up and be a much more girly...
sleep through nicely in a cool room with no dreams or body clock kacauing me and knowing I can sleep through (no work)


I want a holiday....

Oh miss little grumpy..there u are...Oh, I discover a talent of me....:P

I can nag very well...if you push the right button...:P ;)

It's Merry Christmas again

Merry Christmas 2008!

I have been asked to reflect on 2008 with the end of the year nearing. I would say I have not been very happy with myself this year. I know GOD is good and faithful and I know in many sense, I have been abundantly blessed. What I am not satisfied with is myself. My constant fear and my own hiding character.

Today, they were talking about Christmas. A lady from the West was surprised as she was told that Christmas in the little island country is always litted with beautiful lights and all. When told that there were carols on the streets in other places, she replied in a humorous way that it due to commercial purposes. Everyone laughed apart from the friend who knows the true meaning of Christmas. The true meaning of Christmas celebration. He was also not happy when someone asked if I have the reindeer's horn headband and I replied that nope but I do have the Santa's hat (with thanks from a friend). Feeling a bit uneasy with the sudden look from the friend, it dawned on me why he was upset.

About four or five years ago, a supervisor of mine bought us Chocolates before Christmas. We were asking what it was for. If I was not wrong, he gave us chocolates on the 6th of December. We were surprised. It was way too early for Christmas. Apparently, he told us Santa Claus day was about St Nicholas (was it?) who gave gifts secretly on the 6th December. However, the holidays was merged (the 6th merged to the 25th) and so, the story of Santa on Christmas day. Christmas, as it is named, is about Christ. About the beautiful gift of life. There is no Santa Claus, kids. It is made up by people. (Anyway, maybe it's good to look up these stories and evaluate them).

Alright, back to the topic, how am I? 2008. It has been interesting. Very interesting. 2005 was child-likely interesting. 2006 was desperately-but-determinedly interesting. 2007 was amazingly interesting. 2008 is painfully-yet-gratefully interesting.

I have actually have made a landmark on 2008 as well. To Skye. To the bagpipes. I miss the music there. Then the stretch after the English Channel, the eye-opener Amsterdam, peaceful Lucerne, historical Koln, pouring Venice, musical Munich (where I did not hear the music), old Rome (Roma Roma...), filled with statues of nude men Florence, and the not-so-romantic Paris. They say Paris is romantic (I was not feeling that) =P. Maybe ought to go again. :P That is.

On the other hand, I wish I have fare better. I know in certain aspects, it has been dealth well. Yet, I see a lot of my own weaknesses. The fear which I need to abandon. It is written 'Perfect Love casts out fear'. Still learning how to love. Learning how to throw my own negativity and be more of a positron instead of an electron. Learning to deal with the suffocating demands of daily activities (therefore it is a privilege to sit down now).

Now sitting down and typing this, I am quite amazed with these years that have gone through. I seldom get this privileged of sitting down in a quiet spot in this crowded place. I am really grateful for this opportunity. A time to actually not have the noises. I have been running about. Attending to the 'cares of the world'. I am still being bugged by them, almost every minute. I wonder if it is due to my own personality or discontentment, but I really wish to have a bit of space. Am I demanding?

Reminder to self: Remember to count your blessings oh.

All I did was recall each year since I was rescued by HIM. Every year is interesting. I ought to be very very grateful. I am but I feel at times, I need to learn how to relax, breathe and just let HIM do it instead of demanding. And to do my bit. A huge part I need to learn.

Whisper

After all is said and done, I can only whisper.

After all of these, I can only whisper.

All I can whisper is "Thank YOU, God".

It really has been a wonderful, fulfilling and enriching journey.

I feel blessed, though there were tough times. I still feel blessed.

I know I have met many nice people here. I also know when I was down, those in Singapore and at home have been a huge encouragement.

I can only whisper....Thank you.

Maths

Feeling pretty inadequate.

Is it that I am harder on myself or is it that I have higher expectations?

I feel green at the same time.

Will I be able to survive if You put me in the harsh environment?

I feel pampered and I feel sheltered.

I should have known, yet I am sheltered.

Is there something wrong with our education system or was it just me?

It just does not tally!

What is it?

Brain

Brain.

Heart feels like it has not done justice to brain and its topic.

So much to do. So much to learn.

I need to have a topic and question in mind before I begin.

I need to have the picture in mind before I do it.

I need to search for the answer and answer the question.

Oh and I am going to do it, please.

Play and pray.

It's play time!