Sunday
So today I went off to get my new... second second hand phone. (all confusion intended) Q9H Motorola; for becoming online on the go. (So now, im truly online)
Later on supposed to go meet at chel's place for cookout so she tells me.. SERANGOON MRT was the closest.
Now if you are any normal; sane person serangoon sounds like some ranger park and the colour green should pop into your mind. Still thoroughly engrossed in my phone; I hopped onto the train for JE. When the train reached the station; another train was about to leave so I quickly boarded it....
A few minutes later...
" Chinese Garden.. "
WTF? Wrong side? It still took me a few seconds before I realised it and bolted for the door. Getting off the train I stared at the map and suddenly realised serangoon... is NOT on a green line?
At this moment another train was threatening to leave the station so I quickly chionged to board it: It was the train headed for the JE Mrt.
My eyes were still peeled on the phone so I quickly gave a few quick stares to ascertain where the obscure land name SERANGOON was. The Red line seemed to have one so I took the train BACK towards CCK, en-route to the station..
Few minutes later jerms calls me when I'm at yew tee and starts scolding me. I suddenly realised its SEMBAWANG and not SERANGOON thats on the red line...
And the above story is how $15 was well spent on a taxi to kovan. I <3 my navigation skills.
Nevertheless reached the NTUC to see them pile a trolley full of food and chalking up an incredible $183 bill for ONE dinner for 6 people... Now if you are any sane rational person you will spend that kind of money on a nice meal at Jack's Place and be SERVED instead.
Carted the food to chel's place and the feast began. There was so much food I swear we could feed ALL of the hungry kids in Africa. The most damage comes from the $21 for 2pcs ribeye steak... which we bought 6 and tasted darn good T.T
Left for jacq's surprise later on... and. zomg. will not even begin to describe puppy's good ideas. Its a matter of time before I start on the fur.
Shared a cab home at about 2 AM. Which marks the beginning of the continuation to the second half of my post. (again all confusion intended)
I have this aged affinity with cats; since young. Perhaps its that cat that gave birth to incredibly aesthetically pleasing offspring when I was an infant; or my discrete liking for beings possessing high intelligence, impetused by my perpetual belief that cats are scornfully smart, I sort of feel attracted to them.
So this resident cat in my block was sitting there when we crossed paths. I stopped beside it, and it starts to walk in circles, rubbing against me. Somehow cats usually do this to me if I manage to get them to stop and play. Now I may not be a feline genius; but this is seems like a sign of affection.
**Google tells me that this is a more atas form of territory marking, they dont pee all over like dogs do. When the cat rubs you, he is marking you with his scent, claiming you as "his." "
After a while it got boring so I stopped to leave, but the cat didnt follow. Suddenly, I get bored, and this is not a good sign. I cannot be bored. I stop and lower myself down to entice the kitty to follow. He takes the bait (assumption here based on gut feeling). Soon we're at the lift. I step inside. He refuses, and waits by the door.
I try the same trick again, he dosent take bait, staring cautiously at the door. I decide to stop and just go home. The lift door closes, he stares through the glass opening as I rise..
Tuesday
Its about 1-2am, and I'm downstairs buying supper. On my way back I see the same kitty again. This time it recognises me and does the rubbing thing again. I get up and walk towards to lift.
Something is different this time. He gets up and follows me around, crossing my path every few seconds. Eventually we reach the lift and he stops outside again. I get in, and to my surprise; he follows...
I hit close and the lift starts to move. Before I knew it he goes "REAOW REAOW REAOW" all the way up 13 floors staring at the door then at me. Not to mention its incredibly scary and I was sure he was going to claw me anytime now.
As soon as the door open he darts out, but is taken aback my the new surrounding. I realise the shit I am in and quickly make it for my door. My only prayer now is he dosent follow me in, because I do have a house full of sleeping people.
Closing the gate I made sure the cat was loitering nowhere near for my door. At this moment, pity flowed into me and I felt bad... maybe I should get him some food?
Another of my not-so-proud moments, my intelligence fails me as I struggle to find food...
No cans of tuna or fish... so... I did the best I could.
Returning with a small ORANGE, I attempted to find the cat and feed him. Alas, he disappeared and this made me more worried... he could lose his way and starve to death...
Intelligence also returned back to me at this moment when I realise I actually have.. MILK in my fridge. I turn back and walk home only...
" WAIT, WHY IS MY GATE STILL OPEN!? "
Quarantine: God's Punishment
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My loyal readers will know that once in a while; when everything in life aligns to piss me off enough I will pen what is known as a flame post. If you are new here and not a fan of heat; I'd suggest you read no further.
Enter Quarantine.
Most people think its a movie; but I have compelling reasons to believe this is heaven's decreed punishment for me poking fun and laughing at jesley all the time. Two nights ago I was made to suffer unspeakable torment in silence.
The "movie" marries everything I hate in a bad movie which includes:
- Lots of Screaming
- Bad Plot
- Mass Panicking & Hysteria
- Shaky Camera movement
- Brainless characters
- Plagiarised plot
- Illogical storyline
- Repetitive and predictable scenes
- Terrible ending that makes you go WTF?
I strongly felt that a stronger force above the skies had planned for me to comprehend the true meaning of "Quarantine" by making me sit there for over 90 minutes watching this pos they call a movie.
The director seems to have adopted the Apple theory of life; "If I dont like it; then it didn't happen" to his movie, ignoring Cloverfield's failure. He tries to go with the First Person View thing and having camera shake so much that you probably will vomit less by drinking a few bottles of vodka.
If that isn't bad enough the characters start panicking like shit even at the smallest things and scream non-stop. If I had a stopwatch the movie would probably clock in about 30 minutes of full screaming non-stop thats irritating and makes you want to drag them out and punch them over and over again.
The director decides that like all typical zombie flicks; people are stupid and must die a horrible and retarded death. I've heard that zombies bite people; but wikipedia never mentioned they manage to timothy you.
Quarantine breaks all classifications of known movies to create a new category all by itself; named "Toture". The film is able to make you so frustrated that you really want to find the actor of the cameraman and beat his mum. The epicness comes when you realise 8.50 has flown out of your pocket and the rest of your friends are also watching it. This is when the real meaning of "Quarantine" comes.
Agony ensues and if you are able to finish the film, kudos to you. You are either a very patient person or totally retarded. If I do ever see the actor of the cameraman; I really WILL give him a smack or two to rid his world of a demon.
Enter Quarantine.
Most people think its a movie; but I have compelling reasons to believe this is heaven's decreed punishment for me poking fun and laughing at jesley all the time. Two nights ago I was made to suffer unspeakable torment in silence.
The "movie" marries everything I hate in a bad movie which includes:
- Lots of Screaming
- Bad Plot
- Mass Panicking & Hysteria
- Shaky Camera movement
- Brainless characters
- Plagiarised plot
- Illogical storyline
- Repetitive and predictable scenes
- Terrible ending that makes you go WTF?
I strongly felt that a stronger force above the skies had planned for me to comprehend the true meaning of "Quarantine" by making me sit there for over 90 minutes watching this pos they call a movie.
The director seems to have adopted the Apple theory of life; "If I dont like it; then it didn't happen" to his movie, ignoring Cloverfield's failure. He tries to go with the First Person View thing and having camera shake so much that you probably will vomit less by drinking a few bottles of vodka.
If that isn't bad enough the characters start panicking like shit even at the smallest things and scream non-stop. If I had a stopwatch the movie would probably clock in about 30 minutes of full screaming non-stop thats irritating and makes you want to drag them out and punch them over and over again.
The director decides that like all typical zombie flicks; people are stupid and must die a horrible and retarded death. I've heard that zombies bite people; but wikipedia never mentioned they manage to timothy you.
Quarantine breaks all classifications of known movies to create a new category all by itself; named "Toture". The film is able to make you so frustrated that you really want to find the actor of the cameraman and beat his mum. The epicness comes when you realise 8.50 has flown out of your pocket and the rest of your friends are also watching it. This is when the real meaning of "Quarantine" comes.
Agony ensues and if you are able to finish the film, kudos to you. You are either a very patient person or totally retarded. If I do ever see the actor of the cameraman; I really WILL give him a smack or two to rid his world of a demon.
Pasgacaliiga
|
Bounce Ali! Bounce!
Original:
The radio room version we made:
Its a little soft, so crank ur speakers.
BOUNCE
Original:
The radio room version we made:
Its a little soft, so crank ur speakers.
BOUNCE
Mediacorp extras
|
Awoke early today, because of the muscle spasms and as well something was happening in school. Filming for some fann wong + christopher tay movie was going on.
Since cab was sponsored as they desperately in need of cast; so why not? Took a 6.40 cab down to see the FMS block populated and equipment rolling all around. Entering the preview theatre, I met juvial, the third year student, and the only one who is IBPing in CTV. Next thing she says:
"Go put on makeup"
I suspected some frequency distortion, so I asked again..
"what..?"
"Why you sound so surprised? Go put on makeup. "
Wtf man, 18 years of my life I dont ever recall powder touching my face. Next thing I knew this young miss was dabbing pastel-like stuff all over me. There are like 16 tones of beige and my face is like some kind of canvas. Next comes their hair spray and all the weird shit. Finally, its done and seat waiting.
Though they tell me I'm some kind of crew, but I ended up as audience anyway. The set was some kind of love game show, where fann and chris had to answer questions to assess their understanding of each other. Fann was wearing some kind of bathrobe and a nightdress inside. So when she took the robe off could see her neck was quite long. I have a reason to believe she's kayan and she actually looks quite freaky and not pretty at all. Quite tall with an albino face, long neck and freaky make-up. eww?
They got us to rehearse the usual clapping stuff. Which only happened for ten seconds. We were then evicted to eat lunch.
After lunch, no filming took place, and as they were procrastinating for some reason. Loitered around and went the radio room to play some keyboard =D.
Eventually, it was 2pm and I had to leave. So came some long release form I had to sign to get paid.
So, they paid me 6.40 for the cab, 40 for my time there, and I offered 10 seconds of my hand clapping. Money well spent.
On a side note, I saw an angel..
Purple angel: A pity your wings are joined.
Since cab was sponsored as they desperately in need of cast; so why not? Took a 6.40 cab down to see the FMS block populated and equipment rolling all around. Entering the preview theatre, I met juvial, the third year student, and the only one who is IBPing in CTV. Next thing she says:
"Go put on makeup"
I suspected some frequency distortion, so I asked again..
"what..?"
"Why you sound so surprised? Go put on makeup. "
Wtf man, 18 years of my life I dont ever recall powder touching my face. Next thing I knew this young miss was dabbing pastel-like stuff all over me. There are like 16 tones of beige and my face is like some kind of canvas. Next comes their hair spray and all the weird shit. Finally, its done and seat waiting.
Though they tell me I'm some kind of crew, but I ended up as audience anyway. The set was some kind of love game show, where fann and chris had to answer questions to assess their understanding of each other. Fann was wearing some kind of bathrobe and a nightdress inside. So when she took the robe off could see her neck was quite long. I have a reason to believe she's kayan and she actually looks quite freaky and not pretty at all. Quite tall with an albino face, long neck and freaky make-up. eww?
They got us to rehearse the usual clapping stuff. Which only happened for ten seconds. We were then evicted to eat lunch.
After lunch, no filming took place, and as they were procrastinating for some reason. Loitered around and went the radio room to play some keyboard =D.
Eventually, it was 2pm and I had to leave. So came some long release form I had to sign to get paid.
So, they paid me 6.40 for the cab, 40 for my time there, and I offered 10 seconds of my hand clapping. Money well spent.
On a side note, I saw an angel..
Purple angel: A pity your wings are joined.
Neck Sprain
|
Many things guys do are stupid. Today's focal of stupidity will be on arm-wrestling.
Commonly misunderstood to be a ritual for guys to showcase biceps to their female counterparts, the excercise actually has many hidden layers of understanding; including embedded-pain that bounces alive once in awhile to bite you square in your ass.
Yesterday saw another 5 hour TVPROD class, where we always manage to extend our class hours. It was then decided that we would determine each other's strength. Justin happens to be quite strong, curling 12 with one arm is no problem for him. ( T_T 12 in one arm )
So it starts with right hand, which I lost, then left hand which I manage to win (most of the time) Perhaps its because I'm ambi-dexterous in some way.
So, we went to eat dinner, finish up MM, and leave for home.
Awoke with my maid chanting some arabic to me, she thinks she's speaking english but I've no idea what the hell shes trying to say. Char calls, and tells me to submit my work... next thing I realise when I try to get up, a sharp pain on my shoulder neck. The muscles contract so much that I'm unable to move.
Long story short: I went to see pharmacists, who wouldnt sell me meds because they think I'm some kind of idiot who cannot diagnose his own condition. 34 bucks fly as the clinic prescribes some muscle relaxants for me. Seems like I've gotten NECK SPRAIN.
The irony of this was that a week ago I just did my TVPROD on kayan women; the ones with the long long necks. Went to sleep again after applying some salompas almost my age.
Awoke again, this time the muscle spasms got even stronger. When I try to tilt my neck past a certain degree the muscle spasams come and I'm incapacitated for a while. Seriously retarded.
So my dad comes back and brings me to see some sinseh.
If you recall my post on scam doctors this one will top it.
Calling themselves TCM (The Con Men), these sinsehs are adept at discerning your illness even without you talking. I entered the room and before one word left my mouth.
"Take off your shirt and sit facing the wall"
I was like wtf? I havent even say anything? Maybe its diagnoses, so I proceeded. Next he removed my hand, which I was placing on my shoulder to prevent my neck from turning. I was about to tell him what my hand was doing there when he said.
"Too heaty, curry, biscuits spicy food eat less, drink more cooling tea and eat fruits"
I heard the bottle cap flip open and suddenly PIAK. he started slapping all over my back. Occasionally he would scratch and scratch I swear I assumed he was an enraged oversized cat pawing on me.
Thirty seconds into the "treatment" he starts slapping down hard on my shoulder, PIAK PIAK PIAK, which I really wanted to turn around and smack him so hard he'd need plastic (actually hes quite ugly already). Moving quickly he puts his hands around my head and starts to do the wavy wavy thing. Telling me to look left he pulls slightly, then he said I was being too stiff.
I relaxed abit and he suddenly jerks right, I swear I almost changed my name to lettuce, luckily nothing dislocated. He ends the session by throwing my dad a bottle of ointment. and 24 dollars flew away.
Masters of treatment, they can tell what's wrong with you in a single glance. Opening your mouth is unnecessary and a backrub like this cures everything. Scam-of-the-year...
If I really wanted a backrub I would have at least gone to one of those sleazy places at bukit timah. 24 dollars for a man rubbing my back and slapping me so hard is retarded.
Justin; this is your fault. I don't care.
3 packs, 6 salompas, so how much pain am I in?
Commonly misunderstood to be a ritual for guys to showcase biceps to their female counterparts, the excercise actually has many hidden layers of understanding; including embedded-pain that bounces alive once in awhile to bite you square in your ass.
Yesterday saw another 5 hour TVPROD class, where we always manage to extend our class hours. It was then decided that we would determine each other's strength. Justin happens to be quite strong, curling 12 with one arm is no problem for him. ( T_T 12 in one arm )
So it starts with right hand, which I lost, then left hand which I manage to win (most of the time) Perhaps its because I'm ambi-dexterous in some way.
So, we went to eat dinner, finish up MM, and leave for home.
Awoke with my maid chanting some arabic to me, she thinks she's speaking english but I've no idea what the hell shes trying to say. Char calls, and tells me to submit my work... next thing I realise when I try to get up, a sharp pain on my shoulder neck. The muscles contract so much that I'm unable to move.
Long story short: I went to see pharmacists, who wouldnt sell me meds because they think I'm some kind of idiot who cannot diagnose his own condition. 34 bucks fly as the clinic prescribes some muscle relaxants for me. Seems like I've gotten NECK SPRAIN.
The irony of this was that a week ago I just did my TVPROD on kayan women; the ones with the long long necks. Went to sleep again after applying some salompas almost my age.
Awoke again, this time the muscle spasms got even stronger. When I try to tilt my neck past a certain degree the muscle spasams come and I'm incapacitated for a while. Seriously retarded.
So my dad comes back and brings me to see some sinseh.
If you recall my post on scam doctors this one will top it.
Calling themselves TCM (The Con Men), these sinsehs are adept at discerning your illness even without you talking. I entered the room and before one word left my mouth.
"Take off your shirt and sit facing the wall"
I was like wtf? I havent even say anything? Maybe its diagnoses, so I proceeded. Next he removed my hand, which I was placing on my shoulder to prevent my neck from turning. I was about to tell him what my hand was doing there when he said.
"Too heaty, curry, biscuits spicy food eat less, drink more cooling tea and eat fruits"
I heard the bottle cap flip open and suddenly PIAK. he started slapping all over my back. Occasionally he would scratch and scratch I swear I assumed he was an enraged oversized cat pawing on me.
Thirty seconds into the "treatment" he starts slapping down hard on my shoulder, PIAK PIAK PIAK, which I really wanted to turn around and smack him so hard he'd need plastic (actually hes quite ugly already). Moving quickly he puts his hands around my head and starts to do the wavy wavy thing. Telling me to look left he pulls slightly, then he said I was being too stiff.
I relaxed abit and he suddenly jerks right, I swear I almost changed my name to lettuce, luckily nothing dislocated. He ends the session by throwing my dad a bottle of ointment. and 24 dollars flew away.
Masters of treatment, they can tell what's wrong with you in a single glance. Opening your mouth is unnecessary and a backrub like this cures everything. Scam-of-the-year...
If I really wanted a backrub I would have at least gone to one of those sleazy places at bukit timah. 24 dollars for a man rubbing my back and slapping me so hard is retarded.
Justin; this is your fault. I don't care.
3 packs, 6 salompas, so how much pain am I in?
Sold Kit Lens
|
Today marks the day I part with my beloved.. well, you were my first.
You will be missed....
NOT. I'm with Tammie now, and probably your longer cousin soon.
Ants; Interesting
|
I left some traces of egg while cooking them for my supper; on the table.
Five hours later when I returned to the kitchen I realised it was swarmed by ants.
Its close to 5 in the morning now; so I emptied part of my cup of cold water on them...
Only a few were caught in the flood. Other ants quickly began to enter the flood in an attempt to rescue their comrades. Not all of them shared the same ideal, a few continued to harvest the egg, others just went along their duties as if nothing happened... ok, except for the fact they realise Zeus is throwing waterbolts at them, so they moved a little faster.
I followed the trail to a small crack in the wall, tactfully hidden behind the kettle.. so this was their trick.
Then came an ant that didnt really look like the rest. It moved alot faster for starters, about 3-5 times normal speed; and it had feelers too, was slightly paler in colour.
Zooming quickly across the battlefield, it wasn't long before it reached the flood. However, it just probed around for a while before leaving the ants to drown.
By now, the ants whom have gone into the flood to save their comrades are mostly still; only a few were quivering around for their lives, in search for an escape. Somehow no matter how they tried, they could not break the water blot once they entered.
Looking again, I realise some of them were still busy gathering food. Now this will not do, you cannot leave comrades drowning while you are enjoying my eggs. Not because this is totally un-humanitarian and devoid of compassion; but because you did not pay for the eggs, much less rental in this house. I did what I could do to help; I threw a kitchen towel at them.
This seemed to knock some of the ants on the egg to join their comrades in the flood. I smile to myself, relishing in my success at burying a few more. However, one lone ant seemed to survive, by crawling up the kitchen towel, which soaked some of the water..
This reminds me of a certain scene in... Titanic was it? (Apple you loser. you wont know what I'm talking about)
Moments pass; finally.. all movement ceased in the waters... they were dead... dead trying to save a friend, dead with food for the queen.. only the ant which crawled up the towel stayed alive.
Moral of the story: Don't be a smart ass and try to save others when you dont know how to swim. You will leave my maid with more bodies to clear.
Idiots.
Five hours later when I returned to the kitchen I realised it was swarmed by ants.
Its close to 5 in the morning now; so I emptied part of my cup of cold water on them...
Only a few were caught in the flood. Other ants quickly began to enter the flood in an attempt to rescue their comrades. Not all of them shared the same ideal, a few continued to harvest the egg, others just went along their duties as if nothing happened... ok, except for the fact they realise Zeus is throwing waterbolts at them, so they moved a little faster.
I followed the trail to a small crack in the wall, tactfully hidden behind the kettle.. so this was their trick.
Then came an ant that didnt really look like the rest. It moved alot faster for starters, about 3-5 times normal speed; and it had feelers too, was slightly paler in colour.
Zooming quickly across the battlefield, it wasn't long before it reached the flood. However, it just probed around for a while before leaving the ants to drown.
By now, the ants whom have gone into the flood to save their comrades are mostly still; only a few were quivering around for their lives, in search for an escape. Somehow no matter how they tried, they could not break the water blot once they entered.
Looking again, I realise some of them were still busy gathering food. Now this will not do, you cannot leave comrades drowning while you are enjoying my eggs. Not because this is totally un-humanitarian and devoid of compassion; but because you did not pay for the eggs, much less rental in this house. I did what I could do to help; I threw a kitchen towel at them.
This seemed to knock some of the ants on the egg to join their comrades in the flood. I smile to myself, relishing in my success at burying a few more. However, one lone ant seemed to survive, by crawling up the kitchen towel, which soaked some of the water..
This reminds me of a certain scene in... Titanic was it? (Apple you loser. you wont know what I'm talking about)
Moments pass; finally.. all movement ceased in the waters... they were dead... dead trying to save a friend, dead with food for the queen.. only the ant which crawled up the towel stayed alive.
Moral of the story: Don't be a smart ass and try to save others when you dont know how to swim. You will leave my maid with more bodies to clear.
Idiots.
Watch Exhibition
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Went for a very expensive dinner yesterday; happy belated pwecy if you're somehow wishing this. No wishes for dawn, who somehow managed to make me spend like 60 over bucks on her birthday excluding her ohana from china.
Dinner was at genghis khan parkmall (or so I think its called) then went to attend the cortina watch exhibition for my advert research.
I tell you the place is fucking awesome. (pardon my french). Located at paragon, its an extravagant display of glass (and money). They created a hall with glass pillars mounting 5-digit priced watches inside for display. Police guards more than I could count with one hand, waiters/waitresses with two and a DJ spinning off his macbook. Size 0 models parade their dresses in weird poses to show off the jewellery. I prefer to believe they are half-orge because of their height, which is somehow greater than mine.
Free champagne and small tarts that you know cost alfred his month's pay. Its seriously one of the more expensive events I've attended.
Best part was we were invited in on a.. mis-informed identity; credits to rz for managing to pull this off. On the invitation list wrote: Lin & Partners when it should be "Retarded Advert Students from Ngee Ann".
The watches are amazing; but really couldnt find a chance to sneak a photo. I guess since is NPNT; will not further elaborate. Lucky ruzie managed to try one on; after we gave false hope to the sales people.
Most of the time was spent going around, acting interested while asking for expensive brochures and finding excuses to skim away. What I felt most ashamed of was when we had to leave contacts to get more information, clearly the "address" field gave us away. No person with an block number in his/her address field can own a Girard Perregaux. What was better was the occupation field; which she turned to me and asked;
"what should I write"
Being the honest person that I am; I replied
"freeloader; unemployed"
Yes. This costs you 22k. How many madjacks hours is that Alfred.?
Dinner was at genghis khan parkmall (or so I think its called) then went to attend the cortina watch exhibition for my advert research.
I tell you the place is fucking awesome. (pardon my french). Located at paragon, its an extravagant display of glass (and money). They created a hall with glass pillars mounting 5-digit priced watches inside for display. Police guards more than I could count with one hand, waiters/waitresses with two and a DJ spinning off his macbook. Size 0 models parade their dresses in weird poses to show off the jewellery. I prefer to believe they are half-orge because of their height, which is somehow greater than mine.
Free champagne and small tarts that you know cost alfred his month's pay. Its seriously one of the more expensive events I've attended.
Best part was we were invited in on a.. mis-informed identity; credits to rz for managing to pull this off. On the invitation list wrote: Lin & Partners when it should be "Retarded Advert Students from Ngee Ann".
The watches are amazing; but really couldnt find a chance to sneak a photo. I guess since is NPNT; will not further elaborate. Lucky ruzie managed to try one on; after we gave false hope to the sales people.
Most of the time was spent going around, acting interested while asking for expensive brochures and finding excuses to skim away. What I felt most ashamed of was when we had to leave contacts to get more information, clearly the "address" field gave us away. No person with an block number in his/her address field can own a Girard Perregaux. What was better was the occupation field; which she turned to me and asked;
"what should I write"
Being the honest person that I am; I replied
"freeloader; unemployed"
Yes. This costs you 22k. How many madjacks hours is that Alfred.?
MAC party + Shisha
|
Many say one goes through many forms of change into adolescence, losing immature traits in the process, there are some inhibitions I just cannot seem to distance from; which is well... being immature.
Perhaps its my perpetual belief that not jokers, but children are the most jovial beings in existence that my subconscious becomes inclined to cling onto their relative behaviours. This begins over lunch at KAP Mac's where some wise-ass decides to throw the idea of a birthday party for dawn at macs.
For the spastics that have been imprisoned in the basement and those who drink detergent for breakfast; mac birthday parties are for humans whom are born IN the 21st century. Being the cutest idea that was available, I was somehow injected to believe this was a good idea in absence of alcohol; which I do not comprehend how possible.
The next thing I remember, it was Saturday and my phone was emitting enough radiation to power half of Singapore for the next 10 years. Despite my countless SMS-es that were tantamount to be classified as SPAM; many have the cheek to turn the invitation down. What's amazing was that I didn't even inform them of the.. genre of the party. Nevertheless, the show must go on..
4pm saw me trying to get dawn and ca to loiter around suspiciously in the NLB @ Bukit Merah to buy time. While others decide to come late, some try to outdo them by not turning up at all. Perhaps what they didn't mention in Business school was that invitations were like stock prices; decreasing in depressions.
Finally the guests.. (actually only 3) arrive and they were ushered into the Macs to "suprise" dawn. She gets there and becomes elated to see fion and jerms.
Games at macs were.. interesting, while our pride not so much. Nevertheless, it was still enjoyable, and detrimental to my jaw for laughing so much. Quan enjoyed himself the most and he will vouch for it.
Ralph having a good time
Perhaps its my perpetual belief that not jokers, but children are the most jovial beings in existence that my subconscious becomes inclined to cling onto their relative behaviours. This begins over lunch at KAP Mac's where some wise-ass decides to throw the idea of a birthday party for dawn at macs.
For the spastics that have been imprisoned in the basement and those who drink detergent for breakfast; mac birthday parties are for humans whom are born IN the 21st century. Being the cutest idea that was available, I was somehow injected to believe this was a good idea in absence of alcohol; which I do not comprehend how possible.
The next thing I remember, it was Saturday and my phone was emitting enough radiation to power half of Singapore for the next 10 years. Despite my countless SMS-es that were tantamount to be classified as SPAM; many have the cheek to turn the invitation down. What's amazing was that I didn't even inform them of the.. genre of the party. Nevertheless, the show must go on..
4pm saw me trying to get dawn and ca to loiter around suspiciously in the NLB @ Bukit Merah to buy time. While others decide to come late, some try to outdo them by not turning up at all. Perhaps what they didn't mention in Business school was that invitations were like stock prices; decreasing in depressions.
Finally the guests.. (actually only 3) arrive and they were ushered into the Macs to "suprise" dawn. She gets there and becomes elated to see fion and jerms.
Games at macs were.. interesting, while our pride not so much. Nevertheless, it was still enjoyable, and detrimental to my jaw for laughing so much. Quan enjoyed himself the most and he will vouch for it.
Ralph having a good time
Next we decide to go to PS to eat, and since ralph wasn't too keen on missing his Man U match, we decided to absolve our morals and try shisha.
Fabian comes along and suggests a dubious looking alley which I suspect doubled up as a crack joint. We finally settle on a table and a flavour to try.
Its actually quite stupid if you ask me, the flavours taste the same, but it was fun trying to blow funny smoke patterns. Before I realised; it was like 2am and I have spent well over 5 hours there.
It scares me how while others were feeling the lethargy and dread of the night, I grew increasingly active in conversation, thought and actions. I wish to attribute this to the nightstalker-ish element within me, and not that I was intoxicated by the shisha pipe which I somehow could'nt leave alone. Could there be a smoker in me? =O
Just of a few minutes I was browsing Wikipedia when I managed to chance upon this:
"Other research shows that a 45 minute session of hookah tobacco smoking (tobacco molasses) delivers slightly more tar and carbon monoxide (around 5-10%) than a pack of cigarettes"
For the first time; I am actually starting to pray Wikipedia isn't right.
Asshole.
|
I broke something yesterday.
Some say I'm a complete asshole. I disagree.
Some say I'm a complete asshole. I disagree.
I'm completely capable to be 110%.
paenite, amigo
Back from Wuhan and Chalet
|
Incase you aren't updated. I'm back from wuhan.. Okay it's been like a week.
More recently back from chalet. One discern able pattern that becomes more and more dominant over each stayover would be that we rely more and more on substance abuse or rather, vice, for sustenance. In this chalet, we call it alcohol.
Day 1
It begins with me running errands like sending the spite shirt to print, then celebrating my bro's 21st with the family.
I reach at about 10 plus to find them already restless. All it takes is some wise-guy to come up with the bright idea of abusing liquor before our night of inebriation would begin. Now if you by now, are still pondering who lacks restraint to ensure that we dont leave the chalet with more people then when we originally came in, then you need to start a new diet. Stop drinking detergent for breakfast. Enter alfred.
Perhaps its his background of No.4, or his inner inhibition to sign-on, whichever is stronger, alfred feels the need to lower the senses and release his inner Mr.Hyde and hunt his prey. Although it particularly ridiculous, it infact isnt. Beneath the alcoholic charade lies a viciously voracious vendetta for vengeance, a votive of vox populi to vanquish the vermin and its vice. (Enough V) He lays low, and simmers the mood, like a hunter to his prey. A little of the bait is used as sacrifice, but such an expense for the greater becomings is superfluous.
Anticipation unfolds as his prudence finally pays off. Unsuspectingly, it enters, obvious to the requiem of intent and scent of death. alfred moves quickly, becoming one with the night. Like the song of the siren, he coaxes and persuades. The plan is perfect, power almost infinite, as it enters the circle of death. He orchestrates the false pretence seamlessly, the pieces fall into place and it enters the dreamworld of intoxicated fantasy. Dazzling is his skill, flawless is his scheme closing on the borders of being enigmatic.
Much like good meat that dosent get served alone, alfred knows when to engage comrades. Second to none in deceit, nat begins his trickery. Not that it was really extravagant, but that some were really too inebriated to realise the sham behind the game. It drinks, shot after shot, diluting the blood and hazing the mind.
It wasn't long before the deed was done. So deep the stab, so critical the hit, wolverine wouldn't have stood a chance. Recovery here was beyond redemption. It was now at the mercy of the sane. Laughter streaks the sky, shattering the silence of the melancholic darkness. Pity flowed like liquid out of me when I realised the night had only just begun.
It staggers, deadlocked in combat with the greatest enemy of all, itself. The force is too great, as the seeds sown began to manifest their malice. Finally, it collapsed, succumbing to the gods above.
What ensues becomes a violation of the Geneva convention and of course much less constitutes acceptance of mankind. I shall redeem my sins in hope for salvation by observing the secrey of silence.
If you want to see the award winning, National Geographic documentary, only alfred has exclusive rights. I will say no further.
This post is penned at 2am with Hotel California as ambient, maybe it is perhaps so that the colours flow and give life to the post. This, even I do not know.
Understand me,
that it really isnt there,
Hate me,
for you have none of the lefts,
Know me,
I feel sin in every tear,
Forgive me,
for what I'm about to do.
EDIT: The CHEL-edit : This is what happens when people have too much time...
In case you aren't updated, I'm back from Wuhan.. Okay, it's been like a week.
More recently back from chalet. One discernable pattern that becomes more and more dominant at each stayover is that we rely more and more on substance abuse or rather, vice for sustenance. In this chalet, we call it alcohol.
Day 1
It begins with me running errands like sending the spite shirt to print and then celebrating my bro's 21st with the family.
I reach at about 10 plus to find them already restless. All it takes is one wise guy to come up with the bright idea of abusing liquor before our night of inebriation begins. If you, by now, are still pondering who lacks restraint enough to ensure that we don’t leave the chalet with more people then when we originally came in, then you need to start a new diet – stop drinking detergent for breakfast. Enter Alfred.
Perhaps it’s his background of No.4 or his inner inhibition to sign-on, whichever is stronger, Alfred feels the need to shed his inhibitions and release his inner Mr.Hyde to commence the hunt. Although it seems particularly ridiculous, it really isn’t. Beneath the alcoholic charade lies a viciously voracious vendetta for vengeance, a votive of vox populi to vanquish the vermin and its vice. (Enough V.) He lies low, allowing the mood to simmer, a hunter stalking his prey. A little of the bait is sacrificed, but in the face of the greater good, it is easily overlooked.
Anticipation builds as his prudence finally pays off. Unsuspecting, his prey enters the fold, utterly oblivious to the requiem of intent and scent of imminent death. Alfred moves quickly, becoming one with the night; like the song of the siren, he coaxes and persuades. The plan is perfect: infinitely dazzling in its power, as the prey enters the circle of death. He orchestrates the false pretense seamlessly and the pieces fall into place. In a show of flawless skill and scheme bordering on the impossible, he traps his victim in the dreamscape of intoxicated fantasy.
Much like good meat that dosen’t get served alone, Alfred knows when to engage comrades. Second to none in the art of deceit, Nat begins his trickery. Not that it was really extravagant, but that some were really too inebriated to realise the sham behind the game. It drinks shot after shot, poisoning the blood and fogging the mind.
It wasn't long before the deed was done. So a wound so deep and fatal, Wolverine wouldn't have stood a chance. Recovery here was beyond reach. It was now at the mercy of the sane. Laughter streaks the sky, a comet shattering the silence of melancholic darkness. Pity flowed like liquid out of me when I realised the night had only just begun.
It staggers, deadlocked in combat with the greatest enemy of all: itself. The force is too great, as the seeds sown germinate to blossom their malice. Finally, it collapses, succumbing to the gods above.
What ensues is a violation of the Geneva Convention and, of course, much more than that which is within acceptance of mankind. I shall redeem my sins in hope of salvation by observing the secrecy of silence.
If you want to see the award-winning National Geographic documentary, only Alfred has exclusive rights. I will say no more.
This post was penned at 2am with Hotel California as ambient, perhaps it is that to which the credit due for the colours that flow and give life to the post. This, even I do not know.
Understand me,
that it really isnt there,
Hate me,
for you have none of the lefts,
Know me,
I feel sin in every tear,
Forgive me,
for what I'm about to do.
A note from the sub-ed: Your post is hilarious – dramatic to almost a fault. So ridiculous it becomes a brilliant use of sarcasm. I have no idea if you meant it that way. But gosh, I was trying not to laugh out loud on the bus. It made me queasy. (Or it could just be the cheap coffee.) Hahahahahaha. I had too much fun subbing this.
A note from me: YOU ARE ANNOYING. LEAVE MY BLOG ALONE. ALL THOSE WHO DIDNT GET UR FA2's SUBBED BY CHEL THIS IS THE REASON WHY. STONE HER !
More recently back from chalet. One discern able pattern that becomes more and more dominant over each stayover would be that we rely more and more on substance abuse or rather, vice, for sustenance. In this chalet, we call it alcohol.
Day 1
It begins with me running errands like sending the spite shirt to print, then celebrating my bro's 21st with the family.
I reach at about 10 plus to find them already restless. All it takes is some wise-guy to come up with the bright idea of abusing liquor before our night of inebriation would begin. Now if you by now, are still pondering who lacks restraint to ensure that we dont leave the chalet with more people then when we originally came in, then you need to start a new diet. Stop drinking detergent for breakfast. Enter alfred.
Perhaps its his background of No.4, or his inner inhibition to sign-on, whichever is stronger, alfred feels the need to lower the senses and release his inner Mr.Hyde and hunt his prey. Although it particularly ridiculous, it infact isnt. Beneath the alcoholic charade lies a viciously voracious vendetta for vengeance, a votive of vox populi to vanquish the vermin and its vice. (Enough V) He lays low, and simmers the mood, like a hunter to his prey. A little of the bait is used as sacrifice, but such an expense for the greater becomings is superfluous.
Anticipation unfolds as his prudence finally pays off. Unsuspectingly, it enters, obvious to the requiem of intent and scent of death. alfred moves quickly, becoming one with the night. Like the song of the siren, he coaxes and persuades. The plan is perfect, power almost infinite, as it enters the circle of death. He orchestrates the false pretence seamlessly, the pieces fall into place and it enters the dreamworld of intoxicated fantasy. Dazzling is his skill, flawless is his scheme closing on the borders of being enigmatic.
Much like good meat that dosent get served alone, alfred knows when to engage comrades. Second to none in deceit, nat begins his trickery. Not that it was really extravagant, but that some were really too inebriated to realise the sham behind the game. It drinks, shot after shot, diluting the blood and hazing the mind.
It wasn't long before the deed was done. So deep the stab, so critical the hit, wolverine wouldn't have stood a chance. Recovery here was beyond redemption. It was now at the mercy of the sane. Laughter streaks the sky, shattering the silence of the melancholic darkness. Pity flowed like liquid out of me when I realised the night had only just begun.
It staggers, deadlocked in combat with the greatest enemy of all, itself. The force is too great, as the seeds sown began to manifest their malice. Finally, it collapsed, succumbing to the gods above.
What ensues becomes a violation of the Geneva convention and of course much less constitutes acceptance of mankind. I shall redeem my sins in hope for salvation by observing the secrey of silence.
If you want to see the award winning, National Geographic documentary, only alfred has exclusive rights. I will say no further.
This post is penned at 2am with Hotel California as ambient, maybe it is perhaps so that the colours flow and give life to the post. This, even I do not know.
Understand me,
that it really isnt there,
Hate me,
for you have none of the lefts,
Know me,
I feel sin in every tear,
Forgive me,
for what I'm about to do.
EDIT: The CHEL-edit : This is what happens when people have too much time...
In case you aren't updated, I'm back from Wuhan.. Okay, it's been like a week.
More recently back from chalet. One discernable pattern that becomes more and more dominant at each stayover is that we rely more and more on substance abuse or rather, vice for sustenance. In this chalet, we call it alcohol.
Day 1
It begins with me running errands like sending the spite shirt to print and then celebrating my bro's 21st with the family.
I reach at about 10 plus to find them already restless. All it takes is one wise guy to come up with the bright idea of abusing liquor before our night of inebriation begins. If you, by now, are still pondering who lacks restraint enough to ensure that we don’t leave the chalet with more people then when we originally came in, then you need to start a new diet – stop drinking detergent for breakfast. Enter Alfred.
Perhaps it’s his background of No.4 or his inner inhibition to sign-on, whichever is stronger, Alfred feels the need to shed his inhibitions and release his inner Mr.Hyde to commence the hunt. Although it seems particularly ridiculous, it really isn’t. Beneath the alcoholic charade lies a viciously voracious vendetta for vengeance, a votive of vox populi to vanquish the vermin and its vice. (Enough V.) He lies low, allowing the mood to simmer, a hunter stalking his prey. A little of the bait is sacrificed, but in the face of the greater good, it is easily overlooked.
Anticipation builds as his prudence finally pays off. Unsuspecting, his prey enters the fold, utterly oblivious to the requiem of intent and scent of imminent death. Alfred moves quickly, becoming one with the night; like the song of the siren, he coaxes and persuades. The plan is perfect: infinitely dazzling in its power, as the prey enters the circle of death. He orchestrates the false pretense seamlessly and the pieces fall into place. In a show of flawless skill and scheme bordering on the impossible, he traps his victim in the dreamscape of intoxicated fantasy.
Much like good meat that dosen’t get served alone, Alfred knows when to engage comrades. Second to none in the art of deceit, Nat begins his trickery. Not that it was really extravagant, but that some were really too inebriated to realise the sham behind the game. It drinks shot after shot, poisoning the blood and fogging the mind.
It wasn't long before the deed was done. So a wound so deep and fatal, Wolverine wouldn't have stood a chance. Recovery here was beyond reach. It was now at the mercy of the sane. Laughter streaks the sky, a comet shattering the silence of melancholic darkness. Pity flowed like liquid out of me when I realised the night had only just begun.
It staggers, deadlocked in combat with the greatest enemy of all: itself. The force is too great, as the seeds sown germinate to blossom their malice. Finally, it collapses, succumbing to the gods above.
What ensues is a violation of the Geneva Convention and, of course, much more than that which is within acceptance of mankind. I shall redeem my sins in hope of salvation by observing the secrecy of silence.
If you want to see the award-winning National Geographic documentary, only Alfred has exclusive rights. I will say no more.
This post was penned at 2am with Hotel California as ambient, perhaps it is that to which the credit due for the colours that flow and give life to the post. This, even I do not know.
Understand me,
that it really isnt there,
Hate me,
for you have none of the lefts,
Know me,
I feel sin in every tear,
Forgive me,
for what I'm about to do.
A note from the sub-ed: Your post is hilarious – dramatic to almost a fault. So ridiculous it becomes a brilliant use of sarcasm. I have no idea if you meant it that way. But gosh, I was trying not to laugh out loud on the bus. It made me queasy. (Or it could just be the cheap coffee.) Hahahahahaha. I had too much fun subbing this.
A note from me: YOU ARE ANNOYING. LEAVE MY BLOG ALONE. ALL THOSE WHO DIDNT GET UR FA2's SUBBED BY CHEL THIS IS THE REASON WHY. STONE HER !
3 Gorges - Wuhan
|
29 Sept
Back from 3 gorges cruise trip. Its some cruise trip that lasts for 3 days.
First I want to recall on how heaven bites you square in the ass.
Incase I haven't mentioned, there are 20 of us in this trip, 14 girls and 7 guys. Like gangsters, animals and social gatherings, it is only natural to form "cliques", or rather small groups we mingle in. 7 guys naturally split into 2-2-2-1.
It so happens this 4-star cruise that we are boarding dosent have a 3 bed room. So while one girl has to bunk with the lecturer, one lucky guy gets to bunk with a chinaman, simply because there's no animal that cannot be eaten in china, and no such things as homosexuals and cross-sex bunking.
Unfortunately, for those of you eager readers, I do not belong in the odd number group.
I was just sitting there quietly, doing NOTHING at all, playing POKEMON in class, (bulbasaur btw), when the lecturer decided it was time to draw lots to see who gets to bunk with the china guy.
Suddenly I got this very wise ole meat idea, to do reverse lot drawing, meaning instead of using the first drawn lot to determine the lucky guy, it would now be last. This is extremely logical as it builds suspense. THEN!? WHAT HAPPENS?!
GOD DECIDES TO COME BITE ME IN THE ASS FOR NOT GOING CHURCH, EVEN IN CHINA.
First he lets the lecturer draw the 1 person lot, (recall: 2-2-2-1 breakdown). THEN, he slowly draws one by one, finally closing in on my social circle (jerms, justin). THEN WAD DOES HE DO NEXT? HE LETS ME KENA.
Lets analyze: what are the chances?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ 7 slots.
By putting the "supposedly to fit into the bunk with china guy slot" its (1/7)
Avoiding the rest of the seats: 0.5^5 = 3.13%
CHANCES? (0.5^5) x (1 / 7) = 0.446%
By giving bright ideas, I effectively displace into his position, making an ass out of me.
Its one of those times when you think he wants you to suffer for not listening to "the words". Just like the many times where taxis just dont seem to arrive, some smart-ass christian decides to start praying and the next thing an empty cab shows up. I just bwg.
So we board the cruise, 4 star as it claims, boasting a mahjong room and a KTV. As usual disappointment awaits.. I shall not further my misery.
Back to my roommate... I enter and see him sitting on the bed.
He didnt really have the old-people smell or a face that makes you want to break a chair with.. so I thought it was OK.
Then he goes to bathe and comes out with only his underwear to sleep and I know this was divine punishment for refusing invitation to church.
I escape the room as quickly as I can, for this is the only way I can ensure I do not spend the rest of my life in a China prison.
Luckily (at least for me), some shuffling seemed to be in progress, and many thanks to justin for volunteering to take my spot. SERIOUSLY. 讲真的。
Rest of the trip ensued boredom. No post.
Next, I will attempt to analyze why shit always happens when I have a full bladder.
To reach the harbor of the boat usually we have long long bus rides, like 5 hour kind. While there are toilet breaks, they only occur every 1-2 hours. Naturally, being *experienced* in this kind of China travels, I have learnt to plan my bladder cycle well.
4 hours into the trip TOWARDS the habour to board the ship, we alighted for a toilet break, meaning there was only 1 hour of journey.. a normal bladder can hold 1 hour.
So I drank the whole bottle of 冰红茶.
What happens next? A motorcycle carrying 3 people decides to play bumper cars with our 30 seater bus. Luckily they chickened out last minute and swerved to the side, falling off the bike.
Shouting, quarrels and cat fights ensued while they play the blame game. Nothing much gets done here, except they stall our journey by 40 minutes while my bladder fills up. I finally know how to do Chandru's rain dance.
On the journey back, the same thing happens as my filling bladder magically alters astral waves, making the bus hit some guy while it was reversing to get water.
This time however, no cat-fights but fist fights as the driver starts exchanging blows with the guy who got knocked down (henceforth refered to as gwgkd)
Apparently this was a live demonstration of what our politics lecturer was talking about, the "weak people" of china. These people refuse to work, pursuing their hollywood dreams as they re-enact a car hitting scene. Their laws of physics impeccable, as they always manage to fall down and get hurt, their bodies similar to that of wolverine: with progressive healing properties. No sooner do they claim their arm injured do you see him throwing balboa shots at our driver.
Their scripts seem to be orchestrated with a crew of "passer-bys" stopping to "inject justice". Justice in china obviously has one wing, and its priced at 10 yuan going to the highest bidder. In the charade, they manage to pull the driver off the bus while the gwgkd takes on the role of the incredible hulk, doing stewpid things like trying to crash the bus into a wall. Nevertheless we survive after coaxing from the tour guide. The key was taken out and the boxing match continued off-bus.
If I was not doing the rain dance with an exploding bladder, I would certainly have enjoyed our first-class window seats, complete with drinks and chips. This is yet another divine intervention towards my pursuit of happiness.
Oh.................
Back from 3 gorges cruise trip. Its some cruise trip that lasts for 3 days.
First I want to recall on how heaven bites you square in the ass.
Incase I haven't mentioned, there are 20 of us in this trip, 14 girls and 7 guys. Like gangsters, animals and social gatherings, it is only natural to form "cliques", or rather small groups we mingle in. 7 guys naturally split into 2-2-2-1.
It so happens this 4-star cruise that we are boarding dosent have a 3 bed room. So while one girl has to bunk with the lecturer, one lucky guy gets to bunk with a chinaman, simply because there's no animal that cannot be eaten in china, and no such things as homosexuals and cross-sex bunking.
Unfortunately, for those of you eager readers, I do not belong in the odd number group.
I was just sitting there quietly, doing NOTHING at all, playing POKEMON in class, (bulbasaur btw), when the lecturer decided it was time to draw lots to see who gets to bunk with the china guy.
Suddenly I got this very wise ole meat idea, to do reverse lot drawing, meaning instead of using the first drawn lot to determine the lucky guy, it would now be last. This is extremely logical as it builds suspense. THEN!? WHAT HAPPENS?!
GOD DECIDES TO COME BITE ME IN THE ASS FOR NOT GOING CHURCH, EVEN IN CHINA.
First he lets the lecturer draw the 1 person lot, (recall: 2-2-2-1 breakdown). THEN, he slowly draws one by one, finally closing in on my social circle (jerms, justin). THEN WAD DOES HE DO NEXT? HE LETS ME KENA.
Lets analyze: what are the chances?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ 7 slots.
By putting the "supposedly to fit into the bunk with china guy slot" its (1/7)
Avoiding the rest of the seats: 0.5^5 = 3.13%
CHANCES? (0.5^5) x (1 / 7) = 0.446%
By giving bright ideas, I effectively displace into his position, making an ass out of me.
Its one of those times when you think he wants you to suffer for not listening to "the words". Just like the many times where taxis just dont seem to arrive, some smart-ass christian decides to start praying and the next thing an empty cab shows up. I just bwg.
So we board the cruise, 4 star as it claims, boasting a mahjong room and a KTV. As usual disappointment awaits.. I shall not further my misery.
Back to my roommate... I enter and see him sitting on the bed.
He didnt really have the old-people smell or a face that makes you want to break a chair with.. so I thought it was OK.
Then he goes to bathe and comes out with only his underwear to sleep and I know this was divine punishment for refusing invitation to church.
I escape the room as quickly as I can, for this is the only way I can ensure I do not spend the rest of my life in a China prison.
Luckily (at least for me), some shuffling seemed to be in progress, and many thanks to justin for volunteering to take my spot. SERIOUSLY. 讲真的。
Rest of the trip ensued boredom. No post.
Next, I will attempt to analyze why shit always happens when I have a full bladder.
To reach the harbor of the boat usually we have long long bus rides, like 5 hour kind. While there are toilet breaks, they only occur every 1-2 hours. Naturally, being *experienced* in this kind of China travels, I have learnt to plan my bladder cycle well.
4 hours into the trip TOWARDS the habour to board the ship, we alighted for a toilet break, meaning there was only 1 hour of journey.. a normal bladder can hold 1 hour.
So I drank the whole bottle of 冰红茶.
What happens next? A motorcycle carrying 3 people decides to play bumper cars with our 30 seater bus. Luckily they chickened out last minute and swerved to the side, falling off the bike.
Shouting, quarrels and cat fights ensued while they play the blame game. Nothing much gets done here, except they stall our journey by 40 minutes while my bladder fills up. I finally know how to do Chandru's rain dance.
On the journey back, the same thing happens as my filling bladder magically alters astral waves, making the bus hit some guy while it was reversing to get water.
This time however, no cat-fights but fist fights as the driver starts exchanging blows with the guy who got knocked down (henceforth refered to as gwgkd)
Apparently this was a live demonstration of what our politics lecturer was talking about, the "weak people" of china. These people refuse to work, pursuing their hollywood dreams as they re-enact a car hitting scene. Their laws of physics impeccable, as they always manage to fall down and get hurt, their bodies similar to that of wolverine: with progressive healing properties. No sooner do they claim their arm injured do you see him throwing balboa shots at our driver.
Their scripts seem to be orchestrated with a crew of "passer-bys" stopping to "inject justice". Justice in china obviously has one wing, and its priced at 10 yuan going to the highest bidder. In the charade, they manage to pull the driver off the bus while the gwgkd takes on the role of the incredible hulk, doing stewpid things like trying to crash the bus into a wall. Nevertheless we survive after coaxing from the tour guide. The key was taken out and the boxing match continued off-bus.
If I was not doing the rain dance with an exploding bladder, I would certainly have enjoyed our first-class window seats, complete with drinks and chips. This is yet another divine intervention towards my pursuit of happiness.
Oh.................
Sept 6-21 : Wuhan
|
Sept 2 - Red Cliff
Went to Red cliff today, Its actually just another one of china's big parks, other then its now a big attraction because of a recent movie..
Some pics here..
Some random buildings at the cliff
The old granny that lives on Red Cliff
She is interesting. First the dog barked to chase us away, however, just went in for the kodak moment. Turns out dogs in china very well trained... Especially this one.
Some wall fortress..
A statue of Zhou Yu, I think..
One of the highlights is the ba-gua-zhen that we played. Gay maze that took me 8 minutes to get out.
8 Minutes.. Q_Q
SEPT 9 - Bumper Cars!
Played bumper cars today...
Went to lunch at gui yuan, then went walmart. Of course we had alot of fun at the arcade first.
The arcade there is incredible, spending 50 yuan worth ($10) gets you a chance to play those spinning token games. In addition to getting tickets, you get coins.
So got 18 extra tokens, LOL if you hit jackpot can get about 100 extra.
1 token is 1 yuan.
House of the dead 4 costs 2 yuan, so its about... 40 cents a game LOL.
Played alot of funny shit, then got this guy playing basketball.. tsktsk
Bumper cars was LOL, fun. Lack of safety has its benefits, the impact here was really good, unlike normal bumper cars... the pain rocks. LOL
10 Sept - Crazy Girl
Some crazy ang mo girl was trying to open my door at 3am. I slammed the door at her face..
suddenly josh came LOL.
11 Sept -
Went to jin san li today for dinner. Goooood fooooood.
Lost my keys there. Imbal, lucky i learnt to pick my door lock just two days ago
12 Sept -
Found the piano centre today on my way out of school.. WOOOO!
When the people saw me they started screaming LOL
Went out for lunch then later went to han zheng jie again. However, wanted to save money so we took a bus and ended up god knows where... in another part of han zheng jie. Simply put, we were lost.
Sandy called then wanted to ask us about where we were. Not only her, but she has this irritating habit of passing the phone to someone else before im done talking, like its some kind of baton race, so i just scolded the next person whom she passed to.
" WHY YOU LIKE TO KEEP ON PASSING THE PHONE AROUND? "
" I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF AGAIN LIKE AN IDIOT, DOES IT MAKE SENSE?!"
Returned to Jin San Li for dinner again, where we paid the extravagant 45 yuan T_T
Went back to play guitar in yuxian's room when mrs sng said her internet was malfunctioning again.
Upon reaching her room suddenly, they started laughing and telling me about earlier in the morning the phone call. Apparently it was her they put thru LOL. GG LIAO HGAHAHHAHAA
Chel called, saying someone i needed to meet, so I went to the convenince store.
Enter james. He was sitting there with chel fion and jerms, so the girls didnt want to drink, and we helped them finish. He apparently, wasnt too happy. Either he was too horny or he was drunk, probably both. Finishing his cup, he unleashed a burp. Naturally I followed, thats when they said we were alike -____-.
Jerms fion and chel left, while I continued "interacting' with them. I got the impression they were trying to screw my ass after I was drunk, since they kept pouring cup after cup for me, then keep on gan-being where i had to finish.....
Nevertheless, escaped after like 6 cups. T_T
14 Sept
Mid autum fest today, went out to look for gu zhuang, but started having fever and nausea.
Left at lunch even without touching the food, slept in and out.... but still didnt feel too good.
KX asked me to emcee the event im like -_-!?
Eventually did it anyway, was really comical but yea..
Setting off the KongMing lantern. It floats.
the highlight event of the day was the fireworks bought by jerms.
SERIOUSLY. PA LING. THIS TIME DIDNT GET GOOD SHOTS. SO NVM, WILL POST AGAIN WHEN WE MANAGE TO SET WUHAN ON FIRE WITH LIKE 1000 FIREWORKS.
BOOOM!
Went to eat golden han's....
The queuing part was the most funny as u can seriously see the difference between chinese nationals and singaporeans.
First, the queue was retarded as today happened to be the congregation of a sunday, public holiday, mid-autum festival and unofficial "valentines day" in china.
What is usually an empty restaurant became a fullhouse +++.
For 38 yuan, or about 8 SGD, you get a carnivorous buffet. SERIOUSLY PA LING.
Suddenly, the crowd started coming in, the influx of people was like they were giving free food.
Their crowd control was terrible, having no fixed order of priority.
They split the queuing system into tables, means like there was a queue for 1 table, which could seat 2 people, and 2 tables, which could seat 4 people.
You had to get a queue number, and wait for your number to be called. This is where the fun starts.
First I see alot of nerdy looking guys around, SERIOUSLY. By nerd I mean NERD NERD. Then theres this male dominance effect there.
While waiting, there was a chair so a guy sat down, while letting his girlfriend stand. Chivalrous right? LOL. i saw liao was like WTF
Then, there was this guy, who was very tall, and looked like a farmer. Our queue number was 15, and I saw his was like 40. It was damn funny cos the queue was moving at like 5 minutes for a table.
He tapped the attendant and said, "Eh, 我这样等不好吧?"
LOL. LIKE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT U WHEN THERE ARE LIKE 20+ PEOPLE AHEAD!? HAHHAHAHAH
21 Sept
Will only be updating entries worth updating now.
Back from Wudang. nice place. Alot of climbing, cheap cha-ye dans. beautiful scenery. lots of steps... did I mention alot of steps?
Stayed one night at wudang, at the height of the clouds.. not kidding.
All day long and night its mist around, I have to wipe my specs and camera lens every few minutes, the water keeps condensing on the lenses.
At least the half hour cable car ride was awesome.
5 hour bus ride thru and fro... very T.T
The red cloth hanging..
Flowers..
More Flowers...
Still more flowers...
On a side-note, this trip really seems to reveal many secretX.... it kind of shows what time does to people congregated in a small group.
My advice is, better watch your gf/bf's when they go on 6 week immersions... no shitting here.
Welcome to wuhan - the land of a thousand scandals.
Went to Red cliff today, Its actually just another one of china's big parks, other then its now a big attraction because of a recent movie..
Some pics here..
Some random buildings at the cliff
The old granny that lives on Red Cliff
She is interesting. First the dog barked to chase us away, however, just went in for the kodak moment. Turns out dogs in china very well trained... Especially this one.
Some wall fortress..
A statue of Zhou Yu, I think..
One of the highlights is the ba-gua-zhen that we played. Gay maze that took me 8 minutes to get out.
8 Minutes.. Q_Q
SEPT 9 - Bumper Cars!
Played bumper cars today...
Went to lunch at gui yuan, then went walmart. Of course we had alot of fun at the arcade first.
The arcade there is incredible, spending 50 yuan worth ($10) gets you a chance to play those spinning token games. In addition to getting tickets, you get coins.
So got 18 extra tokens, LOL if you hit jackpot can get about 100 extra.
1 token is 1 yuan.
House of the dead 4 costs 2 yuan, so its about... 40 cents a game LOL.
Played alot of funny shit, then got this guy playing basketball.. tsktsk
Bumper cars was LOL, fun. Lack of safety has its benefits, the impact here was really good, unlike normal bumper cars... the pain rocks. LOL
10 Sept - Crazy Girl
Some crazy ang mo girl was trying to open my door at 3am. I slammed the door at her face..
suddenly josh came LOL.
11 Sept -
Went to jin san li today for dinner. Goooood fooooood.
Lost my keys there. Imbal, lucky i learnt to pick my door lock just two days ago
12 Sept -
Found the piano centre today on my way out of school.. WOOOO!
When the people saw me they started screaming LOL
Went out for lunch then later went to han zheng jie again. However, wanted to save money so we took a bus and ended up god knows where... in another part of han zheng jie. Simply put, we were lost.
Sandy called then wanted to ask us about where we were. Not only her, but she has this irritating habit of passing the phone to someone else before im done talking, like its some kind of baton race, so i just scolded the next person whom she passed to.
" WHY YOU LIKE TO KEEP ON PASSING THE PHONE AROUND? "
" I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF AGAIN LIKE AN IDIOT, DOES IT MAKE SENSE?!"
Returned to Jin San Li for dinner again, where we paid the extravagant 45 yuan T_T
Went back to play guitar in yuxian's room when mrs sng said her internet was malfunctioning again.
Upon reaching her room suddenly, they started laughing and telling me about earlier in the morning the phone call. Apparently it was her they put thru LOL. GG LIAO HGAHAHHAHAA
Chel called, saying someone i needed to meet, so I went to the convenince store.
Enter james. He was sitting there with chel fion and jerms, so the girls didnt want to drink, and we helped them finish. He apparently, wasnt too happy. Either he was too horny or he was drunk, probably both. Finishing his cup, he unleashed a burp. Naturally I followed, thats when they said we were alike -____-.
Jerms fion and chel left, while I continued "interacting' with them. I got the impression they were trying to screw my ass after I was drunk, since they kept pouring cup after cup for me, then keep on gan-being where i had to finish.....
Nevertheless, escaped after like 6 cups. T_T
14 Sept
Mid autum fest today, went out to look for gu zhuang, but started having fever and nausea.
Left at lunch even without touching the food, slept in and out.... but still didnt feel too good.
KX asked me to emcee the event im like -_-!?
Eventually did it anyway, was really comical but yea..
Setting off the KongMing lantern. It floats.
the highlight event of the day was the fireworks bought by jerms.
SERIOUSLY. PA LING. THIS TIME DIDNT GET GOOD SHOTS. SO NVM, WILL POST AGAIN WHEN WE MANAGE TO SET WUHAN ON FIRE WITH LIKE 1000 FIREWORKS.
BOOOM!
Went to eat golden han's....
The queuing part was the most funny as u can seriously see the difference between chinese nationals and singaporeans.
First, the queue was retarded as today happened to be the congregation of a sunday, public holiday, mid-autum festival and unofficial "valentines day" in china.
What is usually an empty restaurant became a fullhouse +++.
For 38 yuan, or about 8 SGD, you get a carnivorous buffet. SERIOUSLY PA LING.
Suddenly, the crowd started coming in, the influx of people was like they were giving free food.
Their crowd control was terrible, having no fixed order of priority.
They split the queuing system into tables, means like there was a queue for 1 table, which could seat 2 people, and 2 tables, which could seat 4 people.
You had to get a queue number, and wait for your number to be called. This is where the fun starts.
First I see alot of nerdy looking guys around, SERIOUSLY. By nerd I mean NERD NERD. Then theres this male dominance effect there.
While waiting, there was a chair so a guy sat down, while letting his girlfriend stand. Chivalrous right? LOL. i saw liao was like WTF
Then, there was this guy, who was very tall, and looked like a farmer. Our queue number was 15, and I saw his was like 40. It was damn funny cos the queue was moving at like 5 minutes for a table.
He tapped the attendant and said, "Eh, 我这样等不好吧?"
LOL. LIKE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT U WHEN THERE ARE LIKE 20+ PEOPLE AHEAD!? HAHHAHAHAH
21 Sept
Will only be updating entries worth updating now.
Back from Wudang. nice place. Alot of climbing, cheap cha-ye dans. beautiful scenery. lots of steps... did I mention alot of steps?
Stayed one night at wudang, at the height of the clouds.. not kidding.
All day long and night its mist around, I have to wipe my specs and camera lens every few minutes, the water keeps condensing on the lenses.
At least the half hour cable car ride was awesome.
5 hour bus ride thru and fro... very T.T
The red cloth hanging..
Flowers..
More Flowers...
Still more flowers...
On a side-note, this trip really seems to reveal many secretX.... it kind of shows what time does to people congregated in a small group.
My advice is, better watch your gf/bf's when they go on 6 week immersions... no shitting here.
Welcome to wuhan - the land of a thousand scandals.
Day 4 - 5 - Wuhan
|
DAY 4 - NEXT SCH DAY
Basically nothing much happened today, stupid internet still refuses to work, left class early in pursuit for the "I" connection.
However, failed my coursemates because the system of the school is seriously too farking stupid. I mean farking stupid. srisly.
Next, went to do stupid stuff.
Bunking with 3 photographers, all armed with DSLRs, we attempted to smash a remote control car into the wall and taking the shrapnels in bullet time.
Failed.
Suddenly, I realised some black dude walked past my bag.
My first instinct was, "Did the nigger just take my bag?"
It was said out loud too. Justin has a damn spastic photo but I shall not post it.
Official usage of my english name, Jason also began.
This is done just so we can name our bunk the J-Room.
For dinner, went to this restaurant in the campus, so damn big we had to take a bus there.
Ordered alot of food, which included the usual chinese dishes.
So happens got this tofu dish, which had black beans in it.
Suddenly, someone screamed and stood up.
One of the black beans crawled out onto the table, and dropped to the floor.
Turns out it was a cockroach, and the staff there didnt even want to change the dish for us. wtf!?
In china, ignorance is not a bliss, its a necessity, things you dont know wont hurt you, so just eat and shit it out, or you really will starve.
Day 5 - Outing day.
No class today, so we took a trip down to some river to take a look. Rather beautiful, but nothing really compared to the other scenic places of china.
What was different was that you get to camwhore with friends, and spend your own time, the pressure of a tour group simply isnt there.
Then went to some duno what jie to buy food, where I tried this re-gan mian. (My laosai medicine all ready)
DVDs were going at like 5 yuan each, ($1) excellent quality. I see suakus buying like theres no tomorrow.
Went to carrefour again, where we bought more stuff, that totalled 700, including shit like hotplate, pans to fry, rice cooker. LOL
Because the chinese nationals behave like ill-bred animals in out NTUCs, we decided we should'nt lose out...
I shit you not, this went on for the whole journey of about 2 hours.
Then some of us decided that we were overspending and we wanted to share the hotplate with Kenneth and friends, so we decided to REFUND it.
This is where the fun starts.
As usual, the chinese people play the blame game, and start directing me around, nevertheless, the manager came out and eventually accepted the refund request.
Next was directed to a refund counter where the had to fill in SEPERATE forms for each refund.
Once we saw the policy that refunds were accepted, we started taking shit out like nobody's business, refunding everything and making them TOO-LARN. LOL
Next went around with my remote control to turn off their TVs.
Camwhored abit, when I realised this pic of Justin looks exactly like something I saw a while back...
LOL
Things in china are really really really different.... even their mahjong sets, wtf do you mean by no animals?! only flowers!?
played 3-jiao mahjong, as we were really desperate, the tiles are like even smaller then A2, i think its an A3. LOL
3-jiao is nonsense bah, so easy to hu, and so big, srisly
Saw something today which confirmed my initital perceptions. If you somehow are reading this MA you will know what I mean.
I've seen too much of this stuff to know the next thing that comes is enough shit to fertilze the amazon forest.
If you really have a chance, good luck. If not, don't make it awkrawrd and be a jerome. REALLY. I really dont wish to see this kind of things happening again.
MA, pls.. help ?
Basically nothing much happened today, stupid internet still refuses to work, left class early in pursuit for the "I" connection.
However, failed my coursemates because the system of the school is seriously too farking stupid. I mean farking stupid. srisly.
Next, went to do stupid stuff.
Bunking with 3 photographers, all armed with DSLRs, we attempted to smash a remote control car into the wall and taking the shrapnels in bullet time.
Failed.
Suddenly, I realised some black dude walked past my bag.
My first instinct was, "Did the nigger just take my bag?"
It was said out loud too. Justin has a damn spastic photo but I shall not post it.
Official usage of my english name, Jason also began.
This is done just so we can name our bunk the J-Room.
For dinner, went to this restaurant in the campus, so damn big we had to take a bus there.
Ordered alot of food, which included the usual chinese dishes.
So happens got this tofu dish, which had black beans in it.
Suddenly, someone screamed and stood up.
One of the black beans crawled out onto the table, and dropped to the floor.
Turns out it was a cockroach, and the staff there didnt even want to change the dish for us. wtf!?
In china, ignorance is not a bliss, its a necessity, things you dont know wont hurt you, so just eat and shit it out, or you really will starve.
Day 5 - Outing day.
No class today, so we took a trip down to some river to take a look. Rather beautiful, but nothing really compared to the other scenic places of china.
What was different was that you get to camwhore with friends, and spend your own time, the pressure of a tour group simply isnt there.
Then went to some duno what jie to buy food, where I tried this re-gan mian. (My laosai medicine all ready)
DVDs were going at like 5 yuan each, ($1) excellent quality. I see suakus buying like theres no tomorrow.
Went to carrefour again, where we bought more stuff, that totalled 700, including shit like hotplate, pans to fry, rice cooker. LOL
Because the chinese nationals behave like ill-bred animals in out NTUCs, we decided we should'nt lose out...
I shit you not, this went on for the whole journey of about 2 hours.
Then some of us decided that we were overspending and we wanted to share the hotplate with Kenneth and friends, so we decided to REFUND it.
This is where the fun starts.
As usual, the chinese people play the blame game, and start directing me around, nevertheless, the manager came out and eventually accepted the refund request.
Next was directed to a refund counter where the had to fill in SEPERATE forms for each refund.
Once we saw the policy that refunds were accepted, we started taking shit out like nobody's business, refunding everything and making them TOO-LARN. LOL
Next went around with my remote control to turn off their TVs.
Camwhored abit, when I realised this pic of Justin looks exactly like something I saw a while back...
LOL
Things in china are really really really different.... even their mahjong sets, wtf do you mean by no animals?! only flowers!?
played 3-jiao mahjong, as we were really desperate, the tiles are like even smaller then A2, i think its an A3. LOL
3-jiao is nonsense bah, so easy to hu, and so big, srisly
Saw something today which confirmed my initital perceptions. If you somehow are reading this MA you will know what I mean.
I've seen too much of this stuff to know the next thing that comes is enough shit to fertilze the amazon forest.
If you really have a chance, good luck. If not, don't make it awkrawrd and be a jerome. REALLY. I really dont wish to see this kind of things happening again.
MA, pls.. help ?
Day2-3 Wuhan
|
DAY 2: Exploring Wuhan, Carrefour.
Was dreaming of something pleasant, cant really recall what.... suddenly. BOOM,
I awake.
The place looks unfamilar...
Oh.. Wuhan.
Going to Carrefour today, its called 家乐福 here. Gathered at 9am, where the temperature was a ridiculous 30+ degrees. Nevertheless, took cab to carrefour.
The view outside school was good though...
The taxi here is very very very cheap, so cheap I wonder why buses even exist.
Carrefour was over 10km away from the university. The end fare was only 10 yuan.. or 2 dollars.
WE PAY EVEN MORE THEN THAT JUST TO SEE THE UNCLE'S FACE IN SG.
Went to carrefour, where we just went on a frenzy and started buying stuff.
To put a very clear picture, we looked like chinese in singapore's supermarkets
I was sure I didnt get hit by a flying luggage on the plane, but the only words I knew how to say at the supermarket was "very cheap" like an idiot, reptatively.
Just look at the alcohol price, btw its 1SGD to about 4.8 yuan.
Vodka 750ml at 10SGD? WTF?
Bought so much nonsense, we totalled 1700 yuan.
Buying like theres no tommorow, we bought alot of shit that included:
Fridge,
Remote Control Car,
Mop,
Broom,
Basket,
Glass
Vodka
Gin
If you are looking for a place to experience total culture shock, be embarrassed and hated by locals, China is your place. You can also at the same time, piss the hell out of the locals.
The service staff was being so grouchy about us buying too much she was practically sulking all the way. I really felt I should have used the mop to slap her across the face.
Next, we magically discovered that they dont give plastic bags. Somehow they expect you to grow hooks and hang your purchase on.
I asked her to give us plastic bags for our and her response was:
"六个够了吗?"
Like wtf, isnt that your job to know? Giving us 6 small plastic bags, we tried to put as many things in as we could, making it clear we were taking our own sweet time and pissing everyone in the queue off.
We actually had to use 3 trolleys to store our stuff.
Next, we went to take a cab.
In singapore, you usually see drivers stopping early and giving way to the pedestrains, simply because knocking one of them down would probably mean you never touch another steering wheel.
In china? No.
Its like a dodgeball game, you actually have to try to cross the road while the taxis somehow are aiming you, trying their best to beat the high score.
Also, their taxi drivers have the right not to care about you just because they see you have alot of shit to load.
While we were trying to get a cab, weird people started coming up to us and speaking in some language they thought we understood.
Sorry, I speak little bit chinese, but i have no clue wtf you are trying to say.
Their hanyu pinyun has only 3 sounds, the 4th one is missing and this I am not kidding. So if the sentence contains any 4th sound words it basically converts the sentence to arabic, and you dont understand shit.
Asking for the weirdest things like what price we bought our containers for, we tried our very best to smile, although the auntie clearly made me think MINDS wasnt such a dull place anymore.
Some man came to me and told me to put my purchase out to the road. Maybe he got hit by a flying luggage?
Finally we got a taxi and chionged back to the hostel....
Whew.
Dinner came, and we found ourselves with... no food.
I asked around and others were spending only like 400 or 500, and they had food and all the other stuff we had. We spent 1700 and we're like starving.
Somehow its very unwise to bunk all guys together simply because we will buy the stupidest of things like fridges, vodka and remote control cars. Next thing we know we've just spent 70 yuan on chips and noodles and we're still hungry.
Luckily, fiona came over and offered to let us go over and pinch their food. Also came over to make milo for us. Bery sweet of euu, thankssx. We didnt even have a spoon to stir the milo with..
She even bothered to help wash the cups, which after she reminded we forgot the washing liquid. wtf man. Srisly, tmr I'm like going to town again, abusing the taxi fare and buying enough shit to eat for like a week.
Having to ration off others people's food when we've spent 1700 is not only disgraceful, but a clear demonstration of our mental retardation.
Day 3 - School Starts
Today marks the start of the academics as I awoke to pay a fine of 5 yuan for being 5 minutes late.
knn, ytd we waited like an hour at the carrefour for them for being late they dont pay anything.
First lesson was Chinese culture, lecturer began talking about he geographical divisions of china, and explaining why the natives couldnt explore further.
Basically quite geography+history stuff, and not really relevant for your future life, so I shut off.
Clearly an interesting class...
Next came Chinese political systems, luckily this time was conducted in English. However, the english was quite. un-understandable, so basically didnt understand what he was trying to say except for the fact that he was actually a member of the CPC himself (Communist Party of China)
Turns out CPC members must shed their religion before they are granted admission into the party. O_O
Next was a tour of the campus where I finally started to see some scenery.
Dosent change my mind that wuhan is terribly ugly, I still do not comprehend how they can shamelessly proclaim themselves to be the most beautiful university China.
Had lunch at KFC.
Another fun thing you can do in a country where the people speak foreign language is to try to make special orders.
We didnt want drumsticks and thighs so we tried to find the correct word for thighs, however, chi-tui* didnt seem too right. Somehow I figured it meant drumsticks.
So the problem now was how to tell her we didnt wanted only thighs and breasts, wtihout knowing how to say it.
Nevertheless, finally managed to get it done by saying that we DIDNT want drumsticks and wings.
Moving on, went to carrefour to buy food so we might survive the night. Thanks to fee-no-ah for helping us to buy stuff.
Had some "welcoming ceremony" where they started talking nonsense which we werent really interested in, and it included a self-introduction we had to do each about ourselves.
This banner, and their principal..
The day ended with jems and josh tapaoing dinner for us, which.. WOOTS, was 24/7 delivery! NO MORE STARVING, NO MORE INSTANT NOODLES. THIS IS BY FAR THE GREATEST INVENTION OF CHINA, TAPAO FOOD.
Derrick came over, and as usual we played cards, LOL, this time won 300, but I bet 100 hands to let jeremy win back again. Ended up losing a few hundered, but covered with the winnings of the first day, not bad.
Vodka + coke was very smooth. Seriously pawns the expensive shitty vodka they sell in SG.
Oh well, when some of us get high, its really very funny LOL.
Waking up in 5 hours, and I promised myself a good night's rest today. tsktsk.
Gambling is becoming a major problem here, we are conforming to chinese stereotypes...
Was dreaming of something pleasant, cant really recall what.... suddenly. BOOM,
I awake.
The place looks unfamilar...
Oh.. Wuhan.
Going to Carrefour today, its called 家乐福 here. Gathered at 9am, where the temperature was a ridiculous 30+ degrees. Nevertheless, took cab to carrefour.
The view outside school was good though...
The taxi here is very very very cheap, so cheap I wonder why buses even exist.
Carrefour was over 10km away from the university. The end fare was only 10 yuan.. or 2 dollars.
WE PAY EVEN MORE THEN THAT JUST TO SEE THE UNCLE'S FACE IN SG.
Went to carrefour, where we just went on a frenzy and started buying stuff.
To put a very clear picture, we looked like chinese in singapore's supermarkets
I was sure I didnt get hit by a flying luggage on the plane, but the only words I knew how to say at the supermarket was "very cheap" like an idiot, reptatively.
Just look at the alcohol price, btw its 1SGD to about 4.8 yuan.
Vodka 750ml at 10SGD? WTF?
Bought so much nonsense, we totalled 1700 yuan.
Buying like theres no tommorow, we bought alot of shit that included:
Fridge,
Remote Control Car,
Mop,
Broom,
Basket,
Glass
Vodka
Gin
If you are looking for a place to experience total culture shock, be embarrassed and hated by locals, China is your place. You can also at the same time, piss the hell out of the locals.
The service staff was being so grouchy about us buying too much she was practically sulking all the way. I really felt I should have used the mop to slap her across the face.
Next, we magically discovered that they dont give plastic bags. Somehow they expect you to grow hooks and hang your purchase on.
I asked her to give us plastic bags for our and her response was:
"六个够了吗?"
Like wtf, isnt that your job to know? Giving us 6 small plastic bags, we tried to put as many things in as we could, making it clear we were taking our own sweet time and pissing everyone in the queue off.
We actually had to use 3 trolleys to store our stuff.
Next, we went to take a cab.
In singapore, you usually see drivers stopping early and giving way to the pedestrains, simply because knocking one of them down would probably mean you never touch another steering wheel.
In china? No.
Its like a dodgeball game, you actually have to try to cross the road while the taxis somehow are aiming you, trying their best to beat the high score.
Also, their taxi drivers have the right not to care about you just because they see you have alot of shit to load.
While we were trying to get a cab, weird people started coming up to us and speaking in some language they thought we understood.
Sorry, I speak little bit chinese, but i have no clue wtf you are trying to say.
Their hanyu pinyun has only 3 sounds, the 4th one is missing and this I am not kidding. So if the sentence contains any 4th sound words it basically converts the sentence to arabic, and you dont understand shit.
Asking for the weirdest things like what price we bought our containers for, we tried our very best to smile, although the auntie clearly made me think MINDS wasnt such a dull place anymore.
Some man came to me and told me to put my purchase out to the road. Maybe he got hit by a flying luggage?
Finally we got a taxi and chionged back to the hostel....
Whew.
Dinner came, and we found ourselves with... no food.
I asked around and others were spending only like 400 or 500, and they had food and all the other stuff we had. We spent 1700 and we're like starving.
Somehow its very unwise to bunk all guys together simply because we will buy the stupidest of things like fridges, vodka and remote control cars. Next thing we know we've just spent 70 yuan on chips and noodles and we're still hungry.
Luckily, fiona came over and offered to let us go over and pinch their food. Also came over to make milo for us. Bery sweet of euu, thankssx. We didnt even have a spoon to stir the milo with..
She even bothered to help wash the cups, which after she reminded we forgot the washing liquid. wtf man. Srisly, tmr I'm like going to town again, abusing the taxi fare and buying enough shit to eat for like a week.
Having to ration off others people's food when we've spent 1700 is not only disgraceful, but a clear demonstration of our mental retardation.
Day 3 - School Starts
Today marks the start of the academics as I awoke to pay a fine of 5 yuan for being 5 minutes late.
knn, ytd we waited like an hour at the carrefour for them for being late they dont pay anything.
First lesson was Chinese culture, lecturer began talking about he geographical divisions of china, and explaining why the natives couldnt explore further.
Basically quite geography+history stuff, and not really relevant for your future life, so I shut off.
Clearly an interesting class...
Next came Chinese political systems, luckily this time was conducted in English. However, the english was quite. un-understandable, so basically didnt understand what he was trying to say except for the fact that he was actually a member of the CPC himself (Communist Party of China)
Turns out CPC members must shed their religion before they are granted admission into the party. O_O
Next was a tour of the campus where I finally started to see some scenery.
Dosent change my mind that wuhan is terribly ugly, I still do not comprehend how they can shamelessly proclaim themselves to be the most beautiful university China.
Had lunch at KFC.
Another fun thing you can do in a country where the people speak foreign language is to try to make special orders.
We didnt want drumsticks and thighs so we tried to find the correct word for thighs, however, chi-tui* didnt seem too right. Somehow I figured it meant drumsticks.
So the problem now was how to tell her we didnt wanted only thighs and breasts, wtihout knowing how to say it.
Nevertheless, finally managed to get it done by saying that we DIDNT want drumsticks and wings.
Moving on, went to carrefour to buy food so we might survive the night. Thanks to fee-no-ah for helping us to buy stuff.
Had some "welcoming ceremony" where they started talking nonsense which we werent really interested in, and it included a self-introduction we had to do each about ourselves.
This banner, and their principal..
The day ended with jems and josh tapaoing dinner for us, which.. WOOTS, was 24/7 delivery! NO MORE STARVING, NO MORE INSTANT NOODLES. THIS IS BY FAR THE GREATEST INVENTION OF CHINA, TAPAO FOOD.
Derrick came over, and as usual we played cards, LOL, this time won 300, but I bet 100 hands to let jeremy win back again. Ended up losing a few hundered, but covered with the winnings of the first day, not bad.
Vodka + coke was very smooth. Seriously pawns the expensive shitty vodka they sell in SG.
Oh well, when some of us get high, its really very funny LOL.
Waking up in 5 hours, and I promised myself a good night's rest today. tsktsk.
Gambling is becoming a major problem here, we are conforming to chinese stereotypes...
Day1 - Wuhan
|
DAY 1 - SIN - GUANGZ - WU
Awoke early in the morning, 4am, with less then 3 hours sleep. Ma promised to come send us off, even though I predicted she would ps as usual. Nevertheless, boarded a cab, which upon entering, the fare was already 10 dollars. (Midnight + Booking + etc + Airport charge)
Was gona pick up MA, but the smart girl as usual managed to do sth stupid, even at 4am. So her dad was awake, then saw went into the room to ask her mom what she was doing up so early. Ma at this time already was at the main door, when she heard her parent's door open.
Smartly, she sat down in the living room, trying to act normalX.
Mom saw her there, dressed in denim skirts and all, asked her what she was doing. She replied, "Nothing."
MA! x)
Went to pick up Jeremy before heading to the airport together.
Cab fare reached a peak of 50 SGD, sth I have to add to my list of wise things, just beside the 90 dollar crabs.
More people were at the airport then I expected, course mates actually came to send their friends off. Some brought parents and relative... but wtf, only 6 week or -_-?
take peekturess
After some very ralphy check-in nonsense, finally boarded the plane to guangzhou for a connecting flight. Thx to my surname bearing a close resemblance to my lecturer Sng, I got the prestigious seat beside her. QQ
Conturary to popular belief, chinese people are very very racist, and they hate me alot.
Bwg... racistsxxx
The plane landed, and the announcing crew declared the temperature to be 38 degrees.
I dont understand how it can be 38 degrees. This is a city not some desert. The only thing 38 degrees should be my body temperature. WTF-d
Somehow, it was cloudy, and the temperature was only about 30. Seems like some mistake was made.
Got stuck about an hour at the transit dept. Airports in China make you proud to be Singaporean. They have advertistments and all sorts of nonsense hanging around. It looks like some mall on discount then a place to fly planes.
Since had so much time to burn, took some very qew qew pics..
Soft toys make good models
Soft toys on fiona make better models
Artistik shot. Not by me thou,
Sunset is best on a plane..
Ngeah!
Eventually, the connecting flight came, and I reached Wuhan, but it was already night.
Wuhan university is seriously so big, the bus almost got lost inside.... and its THEIR bus, not ours.
After some turns, we managed to get to our hostel area, but the journey was just beginning.
Its ok to have wires hanging loose from poles. However, when your bus gets entangled it in, the fun starts.
The bus jerked to a stop, because the driver felt something.
He got down to check, and they realised the bus caught the wires from the pole, probably the bus was too tall.
So he went to get help and soon a few men appeared with wooden planks on their head. Like zombies in silent hill, scaryx.
The planks eventually got removed and we reached our hostel.......
"5th floor?! WTF?"
No elevator... stairs galore. My luggage is like 20kg....
As part of the natural duty of a guy, it becomes a divine right that we carry baggage for girls.
Some of them pack 30kg + wtf, do they think I'm some cow? 30kg luggage and lots of stairs are not fun.
After we returned from helping female coursemates with their baggage, more fun was in store for us...
The door lock jammed........
The janitor eventually used some cheap cardboard card and put it inbetween the door ledges, swiping the lock open. (Plagirist of ideas) You can see the high tech security our hostel provides.
Unpacked at last, here are some pics of the hostel. Its nothing nice.. but, it will do. Air-con rocks too. Cold.
..... no hot water. nicedx
Cannot believe we already started ban-lut on the first day. Was losing like 200 yuan? omg?
Then they started betting big to let me win, and jeremy one bet 100 on two hands, ended up with me nor-leng-ing and him QQing.
Compulsive Gambling is bad people. Do learn to prevent QQs
Morning View:
Awoke early in the morning, 4am, with less then 3 hours sleep. Ma promised to come send us off, even though I predicted she would ps as usual. Nevertheless, boarded a cab, which upon entering, the fare was already 10 dollars. (Midnight + Booking + etc + Airport charge)
Was gona pick up MA, but the smart girl as usual managed to do sth stupid, even at 4am. So her dad was awake, then saw went into the room to ask her mom what she was doing up so early. Ma at this time already was at the main door, when she heard her parent's door open.
Smartly, she sat down in the living room, trying to act normalX.
Mom saw her there, dressed in denim skirts and all, asked her what she was doing. She replied, "Nothing."
MA! x)
Went to pick up Jeremy before heading to the airport together.
Cab fare reached a peak of 50 SGD, sth I have to add to my list of wise things, just beside the 90 dollar crabs.
More people were at the airport then I expected, course mates actually came to send their friends off. Some brought parents and relative... but wtf, only 6 week or -_-?
take peekturess
After some very ralphy check-in nonsense, finally boarded the plane to guangzhou for a connecting flight. Thx to my surname bearing a close resemblance to my lecturer Sng, I got the prestigious seat beside her. QQ
Conturary to popular belief, chinese people are very very racist, and they hate me alot.
Bwg... racistsxxx
The plane landed, and the announcing crew declared the temperature to be 38 degrees.
I dont understand how it can be 38 degrees. This is a city not some desert. The only thing 38 degrees should be my body temperature. WTF-d
Somehow, it was cloudy, and the temperature was only about 30. Seems like some mistake was made.
Got stuck about an hour at the transit dept. Airports in China make you proud to be Singaporean. They have advertistments and all sorts of nonsense hanging around. It looks like some mall on discount then a place to fly planes.
Since had so much time to burn, took some very qew qew pics..
Soft toys make good models
Soft toys on fiona make better models
Artistik shot. Not by me thou,
Sunset is best on a plane..
Ngeah!
Eventually, the connecting flight came, and I reached Wuhan, but it was already night.
Wuhan university is seriously so big, the bus almost got lost inside.... and its THEIR bus, not ours.
After some turns, we managed to get to our hostel area, but the journey was just beginning.
Its ok to have wires hanging loose from poles. However, when your bus gets entangled it in, the fun starts.
The bus jerked to a stop, because the driver felt something.
He got down to check, and they realised the bus caught the wires from the pole, probably the bus was too tall.
So he went to get help and soon a few men appeared with wooden planks on their head. Like zombies in silent hill, scaryx.
The planks eventually got removed and we reached our hostel.......
"5th floor?! WTF?"
No elevator... stairs galore. My luggage is like 20kg....
As part of the natural duty of a guy, it becomes a divine right that we carry baggage for girls.
Some of them pack 30kg + wtf, do they think I'm some cow? 30kg luggage and lots of stairs are not fun.
After we returned from helping female coursemates with their baggage, more fun was in store for us...
The door lock jammed........
The janitor eventually used some cheap cardboard card and put it inbetween the door ledges, swiping the lock open. (Plagirist of ideas) You can see the high tech security our hostel provides.
Unpacked at last, here are some pics of the hostel. Its nothing nice.. but, it will do. Air-con rocks too. Cold.
..... no hot water. nicedx
Cannot believe we already started ban-lut on the first day. Was losing like 200 yuan? omg?
Then they started betting big to let me win, and jeremy one bet 100 on two hands, ended up with me nor-leng-ing and him QQing.
Compulsive Gambling is bad people. Do learn to prevent QQs
Morning View:
Places to hang out
|
I was staring out of my window when I saw this kodak moment...
hmm? Whats this? Lets zoom in..
12.1MP imbaness
The couple made my mind itch for a second before it came as a recall...
They were exactly like us, no space... expect ours was to mahjong.
Parents nowadays ah, tsktsk. More and more strict... nut good.
Maybe next time we mahjong on the roof guys?
hmm? Whats this? Lets zoom in..
12.1MP imbaness
The couple made my mind itch for a second before it came as a recall...
They were exactly like us, no space... expect ours was to mahjong.
Parents nowadays ah, tsktsk. More and more strict... nut good.
Maybe next time we mahjong on the roof guys?
Ulcer Alcohol
|
I have this very ralphy ulcer in my mouth.
I don't know if this is for most people. Ulcers for me start growing concave, probably from trauma. Then, they start "opening up" increasing the surface area, intensifying the pain in the process.
For the past week, if I have been talking funny, its that mampat ulcer. Many old wive's cures dont work on me. Afterall I am not of this earth. Salt water, watermelon powder, bactidol mouthwash... are all effective marketing scams.
Of course I've invented my own cure. Actually its thanks to Mrs.Ooi.
Ulcers contain acidic properties. Hence....
Based on Chemistry theories:
Acid + Metal = Salt & Water
Now if you use Ozy theories:
Since Salt causes pain, indicating a reaction between the acidic ulcer and the salt:
Acid + Salt = Water + Metal
Metal is the iron which is found in the blood after the salt touches your ulcer.
I've also come up with my own TAO theory.
Acid + Alcohol = Salt + Water
Vodka + Ulcer = Shiok.
I'm like licking it now.. no pain (:
I don't know if this is for most people. Ulcers for me start growing concave, probably from trauma. Then, they start "opening up" increasing the surface area, intensifying the pain in the process.
For the past week, if I have been talking funny, its that mampat ulcer. Many old wive's cures dont work on me. Afterall I am not of this earth. Salt water, watermelon powder, bactidol mouthwash... are all effective marketing scams.
Of course I've invented my own cure. Actually its thanks to Mrs.Ooi.
Ulcers contain acidic properties. Hence....
Based on Chemistry theories:
Acid + Metal = Salt & Water
Now if you use Ozy theories:
Since Salt causes pain, indicating a reaction between the acidic ulcer and the salt:
Acid + Salt = Water + Metal
Metal is the iron which is found in the blood after the salt touches your ulcer.
I've also come up with my own TAO theory.
Acid + Alcohol = Salt + Water
Vodka + Ulcer = Shiok.
I'm like licking it now.. no pain (:
Rubicks Cube
|
After spending like.. 30 minutes in the games room...
I finally completed a masterpiece..
As mampat as ah hu's cheeks
Update: I feel like a Timothy now. Just fiddled with the cube and found it can be done from a complete cube in like 6 twists.. I actually bothered to reconstruct it...
I finally completed a masterpiece..
As mampat as ah hu's cheeks
Update: I feel like a Timothy now. Just fiddled with the cube and found it can be done from a complete cube in like 6 twists.. I actually bothered to reconstruct it...
crab scammer
|
Time and again I ask myself how I manage to be the only student spending over a hundered dollars on a module.
Last year, LOCVID ensured a 100 repair bill for damages in a jamming studio. This year, it comes in a different way but still bit me squarely in the ass.
So twohill manages to submit a lousy photo, and my editor requests I help retake the photo.
Okay, fair enough, I take MRT to AMK to help take the photo.
Reach there didnt really find a kodak moment, the scene just wasn't there. So I went to snap a few photos of people eating crabs.
Busy even at night..
Decided I would tapao some crabs home to eat, since I was already here anyway.
So I told the uncle, crabs for 4 people, takeaway. He takes down my number, I ask him how much he didnt seem to hear me. So I left.. to come back 30 mins later to collect the order. (Its a really popular store)
30 Mins later I return, the guy hands me an order that writes 84 dollars. I was like WTF?! 84 dollars? 2 crabs leh!? You sure!?
The uncle double checks the order, and sees that the HP number indicated there was wrong.
"Heng ah.." I thought..
He hands me another order. This time I see my number there... with it...
nice, crab scammers..
NBCB?! WTF!? 94.4 FOR 2 CRABS!?
me: "UNCLE YOU SURE ANOT? 94.4 FOR 2 CRABS?"
he: "yes yes sure, come I show u price"
*he points to a very tiny price list stuck to the gigantic aquarium of crabs*
Thinking fast. I did the only honourable thing... try to run away..
me: "Uncle, I now not enough money, can go withdraw first?"
Uncle turns around with a suprised look.
he: "oh?! No problem..."
*whips out a wireless machine*
he: "We accept NETS!"
Last year, LOCVID ensured a 100 repair bill for damages in a jamming studio. This year, it comes in a different way but still bit me squarely in the ass.
So twohill manages to submit a lousy photo, and my editor requests I help retake the photo.
Okay, fair enough, I take MRT to AMK to help take the photo.
Reach there didnt really find a kodak moment, the scene just wasn't there. So I went to snap a few photos of people eating crabs.
Busy even at night..
Decided I would tapao some crabs home to eat, since I was already here anyway.
So I told the uncle, crabs for 4 people, takeaway. He takes down my number, I ask him how much he didnt seem to hear me. So I left.. to come back 30 mins later to collect the order. (Its a really popular store)
30 Mins later I return, the guy hands me an order that writes 84 dollars. I was like WTF?! 84 dollars? 2 crabs leh!? You sure!?
The uncle double checks the order, and sees that the HP number indicated there was wrong.
"Heng ah.." I thought..
He hands me another order. This time I see my number there... with it...
nice, crab scammers..
NBCB?! WTF!? 94.4 FOR 2 CRABS!?
me: "UNCLE YOU SURE ANOT? 94.4 FOR 2 CRABS?"
he: "yes yes sure, come I show u price"
*he points to a very tiny price list stuck to the gigantic aquarium of crabs*
Thinking fast. I did the only honourable thing... try to run away..
me: "Uncle, I now not enough money, can go withdraw first?"
Uncle turns around with a suprised look.
he: "oh?! No problem..."
*whips out a wireless machine*
he: "We accept NETS!"