我是一只小小鸟


我和我的父母之间有一个大家都懂,却永远不会提起的秘密。

在我中学的时候,我并不是那么的自由,相对于其他同学,我算是被管的满严的。

当其他同学高高兴兴地约好一起出去的时候,

我经常被逼呆在家。

终于有那么一次,为了发泄,我写了一涨字条,

内容,早已忘了,只记得里头有那么一句,

“我感觉自己就像是笼子里的小鸟,什么都不能做,朋友们都开始不再找我出去了。”

纸条,就放在我房里的书桌上。

不久,门禁就开始放宽了,不懂他们究竟是看见了纸条?抑或是我开始反抗,不再理那门禁。

那是我生命里,最清楚的一次叛逆。


很多很多年后,在面临填写大学的选择时,几乎所有朋友都填写了西马的大学为第一选择。

在朋友间,印象里,只有那句话,我不要翅膀断掉。

当成绩出来后,幸运的,大部分的朋友的翅膀都没有断了;

大家高高兴兴地提着行李, 像出了笼子的小鸟,

吧嗒吧嗒的,飞离了家乡。

那时的我,不回头,也不敢回头。


三年后的今天,不知不觉地,

来到学习的尽头,

横在尽头的,竟然又是选择。

当初的小鸟们,

慢慢成长成了雄鹰,

准备翱翔在纸醉金迷的染缸,

却又忽然想起,远在海的那头的牵挂。


面试的那天,在等待的当儿,

突然接到她的来电,在谈天的当儿,

她突然问我在哪里,

挣扎了一番,终于选择坦白,

我在面试。

全世界的时间停在那一霎那。

短短的呼吸声伴着我们,

“你要注意些,不要。。。”

然后,就结束了谈话。

我听见了泪的踪影,

在一地的愕然中。


在步入社会这个大染缸前,

我回头看了看,

看见那个空荡荡的笼子,

在风中摇曳。

在飞翔的当儿,

才发觉,

寂寞的,不单单是小鸟。


很多很多年的以后,

我终于知道,

他们还是看见了那张纸条。

thanks you, 2010, see you 2011


there is around 25 and a half hour to 2011 when I starting to blog this.
getting the inspiration from my Friends, i come out with the idea that 1 hour come out with 1 appreciation.

24 things and person I want to thanks about


00.00 am 31/12/2010
my parent
thanks for giving a chance to survive til now.

01.00 am 31/12/2010
Mr Ang kh
my best best fren ever...rmb keep in touch

02.00 am 31/12/2010
Mr Lai yx
too much crap, but sometime motivate you

03.00 am 31/12/2010
Mr Kelvin and Miss Annie
pro stalker, but they treat u so nice....

04.00 am 31/12/2010
Miss Andrina
but i got quite some fun memory with her this year when i go Singapore with her, Alvin don't get angry. haha

05.00 am 31/12/2010
Mr Jacky Lim
hmm, i love to having talk with him, and i like his creativity.

06.00 am 31/12/2010
Miss Carrie
sing K wei

07.00 am
Miss Lee FJ
you can count on her and she is a best listener.

08.00 am 31/12/2010
Miss Sharon
if there is a girls i will treat it like a sister, she will be the one.

09.00 am 31/12/2010
Mr Michael
oh, i think he will surprise when he saw this, and most probably will give me a mlm.
his journey really motivate or encourage me a lot.

10.00 am 31/12/2010
Miss Betty
she really take a good care to my family.

11.00 am 31/12/2010
dear my course mate
thanks for letting me copying the assignment, and help me solve problem....

12.00 pm 31/12/2010
be beloved house mate.
thanks for tolerate for my not-so good temper, and sometimes the chit-chat time.

01.00 pm 31/12/2010
USM kakis
uni life is not fun without u guys

02.00 pm 31/12/2010
lecturer ?
i hope u treat me nicer ,give me better result le

03.00 pm 31/12/2010
JPA
buahahaha.
faster give me money le...

04.00 pm 31/12/2010
airasia
thanks for bringing me home and pls don create problem to me anymore.

05.00 pm 31/12/2010
kuching
I cant love you more~~

06.00 pm 31/12/2010
Penang
after all, I am starting get use of you in my life.

07.00 pm 31/12/2010
secondaly school mate
keep in tough, i hope time did not keep us far away.

08.00 pm 31/12/2010
social network
thanks for keep me touch with my friends.

09.00 pm 31/12/2010
failure
without you, i cant be a better person

10.00 pm 31/12/2010
Me
thanks because still did not give up.

11.00 pm 31/12/2010
someone who is very important to me. if you know who is the person, pls don mention it here. haha
at the last hour in 2010, thanks to be with me.
will personaly text you .

if i did not mention you in the post, pls don feel offended. I am still thanks for a the way you help me,, guide me. and so on. I just cant listed all.

happy new year 2011 ! that is wat i want to wish all of you
thanks 2010 and welcome 2011

最想念的季节




最近,突然怀念起这首歌。
年终,常是个伤感的季节,
当一年的逝去,当又一年的繁华在烟火中落幕,
当,笑声再也掩盖不住梦想陨落的惆怅。

在平安夜里,与朋友一起聚餐。
没有疯狂的倒数,没有太多的激情,
选择在一家自助餐厅里,和朋友谈笑风生。
有那么的一瞬间,
我们都感觉,我们不再年轻。
那0.01 秒的沉默,
在热闹里 静止。
美好的时光,在那静止的霎那缓缓重播。
在记忆中
绽放一朵又一朵笑容。

人生,有多少个十年。
电视剧中震撼人心的一句话。
离开中学的日子,不知不觉中,竟然接近5年了。
一包快熟面,放了五年,终究会变质;
更何况,
更脆弱的人?
也许我们不承认,也不愿去证实,
那些年的形影不离,
早在生活的石砾中被磨得支离破碎。

当雏鹰展翅翱翔的时候,
接近的,是梦想已久的天空,
远离的,是回不去的年少轻狂。
落下的,是随风远去的记忆,
静静的,飘落在某个角落,
再被岁月埋没。



保持联络。
多简单,又多困难的一句话 ?

Love urself before u love others



there is a shocking news that spread widely in FB.
someone do count down for his suicide because for love matter.
and in the end, he succeed.

I never been in love, so i cant imagine how hurt can it be about love matter.
but only things i knows nothing and no one have the right to end their life.
ppl says, if u wanna gains other's respect, respect urself first.
same things apply to the same condition, you want other love you, pls love urself first.

do you really think that ur death able to retain ur love ?
if she still love you, then this will cause her suffer.
yes, you die and no need to bother so much,
but u just ruin the one u love's whole life.

if she did not love you at all.
who cares about ur death ?
then the purpose u did that ,
seriously become a joke.

ya, it is hurt when break up. but pls don transfer ur pain to others.
they have their own life to bear with,
pls don kacau their life la.
life is not easy nowadays,
everythings rise but not salary.
don make them pay for your funeral.

life sometimes is hard to bear with,
i noe that, sometimes even i hope god is taking away my life.
Attnetion: is take away, not give up .
sometimes I just hope when i walking on street , there is a vase falling from skill and hit on me....
haha.
so if u saw me die unnaturely , pls tell police that i am murdered.
life is sometimes hard for me, but i am sure I will not defeated by them.
It's my life and no one can determine how long i gonna live, not even myself.

it is somethings funny ,
life is just like rape by other, if u cant avoid it, then try to enjoy it.
just a heart breaking, get rid of it then u will find there is somebody better in front u.
when u give up now, mean u give up the chance to get the right one.

I hope that will be a good lessons to all.
p/s : pls care to those if they showing suicide intension. study shows that they can be saved if someone really care about them. DON't comment, but Call. show ur kepo-ness. you will be thanks forever.

完美



最完美的产品在广告里,
最完美的人在悼词里,
最完美的爱情在小说里,
最完美的婚姻在梦境里。


记得以前见过这样的句子,很久很久以后的今天,对这些句子开始有了不一样的体悟。
当我们的见识越来越广,我们就会了解到,完美就像是几率学里的0和1 的1,看似简单,却不容易达到。
于是,我们开始接受自己的不完美,去欣赏世界的不完美,然后,发现,残缺所拼凑起来的生命截然有着不一样的味道。
就像刘墉描述绘画牡丹花,每一瓣花瓣的边缘都是不是完美的圆,但那么多的残缺,却又凑成了花中之王的妖艳。

最完美的人在悼词里,
从前会觉得那是一种嘲讽的语气,
但细嚼以后,突然有一种想法,那不是我应该要达到的完美吗?
我们都是慢慢在的前往完美的路途上。
从一出生,我们学会呼吸,学会吃,学会跑,再学会说,学会思考,到学会谋生,学会爱。
哪一样不是引领我们成为更完美的人呢?
我们都在学,学着把自己变得更完美。
人以铜为镜,可以正衣冠,以古为镜,可以见兴替,以人为镜,可以知得失
对着镜子,我们完美着自己的外形;
参考历史,我们完美着自己的知识;
观察别人,我们则完美着自己的人格。

一路上的跌跌撞撞,一路上的遗憾,一路上的酸甜苦辣,
竟然在不知不觉间,铺成了一篇完美的悼文,
在生命的最后,朗朗的诵读着--完美的一生。


how far your kiasu-ness will bring you to?


i just watch another nice movie named "3 idiots."
i saw it at forum there few days before and once again, it taught me don judge a book by its cover.
don judge a movie by its title.
I thought is just a comedy at first, until i saw the video clip posted at FB. talking about education.

I don like the current education system, i notice that there is some serious problem inside.
i din see any creative traits in nowadays student.
if student show some different idea, what waiting for them is a big X.
or like in the movie, get out of my class.

do u still rmb y u study ?
i hear people slam the table when he saw other cheating.
i see people keep on saying they din study but in fact, they already swallowed the book.
i see people complaining why they cant get full mark.

why we are here ?
get an first class honour and graduate ?
how many of us really want to gain knowledge ?
how are u goin to apply the things u learn ?
only at exam paper ?

we are told to think out of the box,
but we just building more and more box for ourselves and others.
every question must only hav an fixed answer.
we just want to get the asnwer and without thinking wat is the question.

ppl say, chinese are kiasu people.
if u get 90, i must get 91.

but i wonder. how far the kiasu-ness take us to ?

岁月。神偷



在幻变的生命里,岁月原是最大的小偷--《岁月神偷》
60 年代,是个满艰苦的年代,却是我相当喜欢的一个年代。

而故事的卷轴就在这艰辛的时代缓缓摊开。
没有纸醉金迷的背景,只有一家四口和一间鞋店。

日子再怎么艰难,还是会过去的,就像吴君如在戏里的台词;一步难,一步佳,难一步,佳一步。
生活不就是这么样吗? 常常的,我们说,雨后,终会有彩虹。
故事的结尾,喜欢那云淡风轻的感觉,日子啊,还是要过。

整部剧充满动人心弦的剧情,浓浓的温情,苦涩的初恋,乐观的天真,相偎相依爱情。
罗妈妈的一句,做人,总要信。
多简单的一句话?又多不简单的一句话?
在漆着招牌的时候,听着罗妈妈一遍又一遍的重复做人,总要信。
心里也不禁在想,她,是在安慰罗爸爸?还是在告诫自己,不能倒下?
那是一种怎样的心情?
我想,连她也不了解自己能够撑多久吧?
做人,总要信,一切都会过去的。

罗爸爸:做人,最紧要系保住个顶。
是啊,只要还有块瓦遮顶,又有什么困难是过不去的呢?
在儿子的坟前,他坚持为儿子种上一棵树,还是那句话 ,做人,最紧要系保住个顶。
也许,在他心中会有那么一句,
儿子,爸爸再也不能为你遮风挡雨了,你一路走好。
露在外的,是坚强的义无反顾,是望子成龙的严厉;
锁在心的,是有口难言的深情。

接近结尾时,弟弟把偷来的宝贝,一样样的扔进海里,
奶奶说,人总有一天要走,如果你把你心爱的东西全部扔进苦海,把苦海填满,你就会和亲人重逢。
很有意思的一句话,不是吗?
人生不就是这样?一路走来,把一件件心爱的东西往身上背,
有那么一天,在苦海的这一端,我们看见了在另一端的他们。
也许是亲爱家人,或是忘不了的情人,
还是埋没在名利中已久的自己。
那一刻,也许我们才了解,所谓心爱的东西,在他们面前,根本就不值得一提。
于是,我们把那执著抛入苦海,轻轻地,拥进他们的怀抱。
让我们梦魂牵绕的他们,才是我们一生的归宿。
功名利禄?就留给后人去评断吧。

岁月,他真是一名神奇的小偷,
他偷去爸爸头上的黑发,
妈妈水汪汪的皮肤,
弟弟的童真,
有时,亲爱的家人,也在不知不觉中被偷了。
所幸,他也带走了悲伤和苦难。
唯一偷不走的,
是那份情感,那份爱。
像故事结尾,罗妈妈说的,只要是你哥说的,我都信。

死者已矣,生者追忆。