*Saturday, November 15, 2008*
when i'm stressed, i crave for chocolate. there are way too many things happening now. i'm having panic-induced cravings for chocolate.
exams. receiving a phone call of missing cakes. lost customer where we had to call 20 handphone number combinations and still remained elusive. car breaks down in the middle of the ecp. managing perhaps my a little unrealistic expectations of some grades. mum asking me to find christmast decors when i totally feel unchristmassy. skipping final review lectures and knowing nothing about the exam format. multiple implications for the visa. trouble finding housing. mapping modules. EVERYTHING.
this is definitely a bad week gone worse.
Jesus, i call out to you. 1:20 AM
... Elle a parle
*Thursday, November 13, 2008*
i just love the way this quote was written:
Singaporeans have no discipline and drive to do things, that is why most of them are stuck in the rat race. The others who are driven are too extreme and are branded as overachievers or the indigenous competitive wankers. The middle people who are half disciplined and half lazy are spared from this, but somehow they feel empty and they want to achieve something but they can't because all the other competitive bastards have robbed them of the oppurtunity in this meritocratic society. But however, to face this, is to ignore all the other wankers and focus on your task at hand. It doesn't matter what other people say as long you know that you are focused. The middle class can also make it up there as long as you have the guts and the passion to be more than an indegenous competitive wanker.credits from one of the boys from a tour that i led recently. tp's definitely got talent.
9:01 AM
... Elle a parle
*Saturday, November 8, 2008*
as i grudgingly, gingerly muttered under my breath when i parked my car next to a not-so-friendly-looking lorry just outside a rubbish chute, thinking 'great, first accompany my mum to a baby shower where i knew no one, then this' i immediately regretted when i first saw-
THIS:
ELMO AND COOOOOOOOOOOKIE.
in that instant, i saw grey skies clearing after the rain. and i watched with great happiness to see a little girl enjoying elmo so much
she was really such a cutie pie. she kept beaming throughout her little elmo expedition.
then, the rainbow, the highlight of the day appeared. he was none other than fashion designer david wang, the brother of the hostess of the baby shower!
boy, was i excited! here's a picture of him on the runway. my mum says she sees him around in church too.
he's definitely one of singapore fashion's brightest stars, as he has achieved the position of AFF Singapore's chairman - which is no easy feat.
after the motherness coyly, and openly revealed my secret admiration for (1) fashion designers (2) photographers, the hostess of the party kindly asked her brother to have him oblige this red-faced tomato with a picture. now that's what i call true fashion chivalry. and as my msn nic today reflects, 'thank God he didn't sigh with exasperation at my outfit'. 10,000 versions of the word 'paiseh' must have came to my mind in the whole affair that lasted 3 minutes.
and then he was gone, with his sidekick noticeably missing - leaving me stuttering to a string of helium balloons what i should have uttered -
"you've done singapore fashion proud you know."
... Elle a parle
*Monday, November 3, 2008*
I totally love jokes that involve Ah Bengs. Some of them turn out to be the best. Here's one -
"Night Courses"
Ah Beng went to take night courses with the reasoning in future can get promotion or better job. During work, Ah Beng likes to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.
Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses for 3 months already,next week is the exam.
Ah Seng: Oh... Good luck ah.
Then Ah Beng started show off...
Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?
Ah Seng: Don't know Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876, see... if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ....................... *speechless*
The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...
Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?
Ah Beng: No! He's the author of 'Confessions', nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: .......................... *speechless + frustrated*
The next day, once again...
Ah Beng: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
Ah Seng: Your gay partner? Ah Beng: Choiii!!! If you don't know don't simply answer la. He's the author of 'The 3 Musketeers', if you take night courses, you would know this.
Ah Seng: ....................... *speechless + frustrated + irritated
This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask Ah Beng...
Ah Seng: Eh... Do you know who is Ah Kaw?
Ah Beng: Errrr... No!
Ah Seng: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses,you would know this!!
Ah Beng: ......................... *fainted*
No wonder ah bengs wouldn't be interested in the Skills Development Fund. Try harder, MOM (ministry of manpower).
moral of the story: ultimately, we all need what's practical for realistic living. so who wants to know how moral
fried-rich-leach-zard (friedrich nietzsche) is anyway?
3:53 AM
... Elle a parle
*Friday, October 31, 2008*
it's confirmed,
plus ou mois that i'll be breathing new year air on the plane. i'm half hoping that the cabin crew will wear party hats and pop streamers. it'll be a rather funny sight indeed, definitely a rare one too.
with that note, perhaps i can compose a list of essentials for the singaporean living abroad, which in seetoh's words, albeit in this context,
"die, die must buy"1. INSTANT NOODLES in flavours such as tom yam, chilli crab, curry.
2. the quintessential rice-cooker with a small bag of rice. for the convenience of the singaporean who doesn't treat bread as a staple like the french do.
3. poh chai pills - don't snort. it's for a stomach unused to foie gras
4. homemade chilli. i can't emphasize enough on this point.
5. an expandable suitcase for all that shopping
6. packets of teh si and 3-in-1 old man coffee. nothing beats the real stock from a sock.
7. kaya, which i remember clearly explaining in broken french to my famille d'accueil that it's singaporean jam. i had tried to convince her that coconuts are the only fruits that (really) grow on this soil.
8. pineapple tarts - i wonder whether they sell these in advance?
put a-man then in alaska or anywhere for that matter, now. you'll still have someone who will live it up like a true singaporean.
11:23 PM
... Elle a parle
*Thursday, October 23, 2008*
there's been so much happening recently in the world that launched regret, depression and desperation.
the answer that the people needs: JESUS.
the university education that i've received so far if it has taught me anything,
is not to take theory seriously.
which is probably the only thing i'll remember after the 3 or 4 years 5:47 AM
... Elle a parle
*Saturday, August 23, 2008*
i felt embarressed that PM Lee had to reach the extent of giving us dating tips and overtly asking singles not to be choosy and to be realistic about finding a life partner.
i mean, that has got to be the most father-like political speech that i would ever expect to hear in my life.
9:11 AM
... Elle a parle
after the motherness coyly, and openly revealed my secret admiration for (1) fashion designers (2) photographers, the hostess of the party kindly asked her brother to have him oblige this red-faced tomato with a picture. now that's what i call true fashion chivalry. and as my msn nic today reflects, 'thank God he didn't sigh with exasperation at my outfit'. 10,000 versions of the word 'paiseh' must have came to my mind in the whole affair that lasted 3 minutes.