By Popular Demand...

At the request of several of my so-called "blog fans", I've decided once again to resume my daily (or at least alternate daily) updates of this page with my rants.
I've been addicted to 3 things lately (among my many other addictions). First, Zuma. What is it you might ask. Well, in a nutshell, it's an arcade game that's pretty cute. You can download it for free from http://www.popcap.com and it's pretty addictive and fun. I've managed to get to level 5-4 for now and that seems to be my limit.

Second is Text Twist. It's a PDA game (which makes it all the more addictive cause I've got my PDA with me most of the time now) and it's something like scrabble. Do a google search for it cause I can't for the life of me remember where I got it from.

The last is of course HalfLife 2 and Counter-Strike:Source. An excellent (if I may say so myself) first-person shooter (FPS) which you can either play solo (Halflife) or online with other people (Counter-Strike:Source). The latter comes packaged with the former when you buy it and yes, you need the original since it has to be authenticated online. Forget about just buying it to play solo or offline cause it'll be too much a hassle to do so. Also, you'll be needing a pretty decent broadband internet connection cause the game updates are massive (i.e. over 100MB) etc.

As it is, it already took me more than a couple of hours to download the latest updates and to get the game authenticated online.

Now what have I been up to lately. No idea. The past couple of weeks have been pretty much a daze of running around taking photos of events so much so that I've lost count and can't really remember which ones I went to and which ones I handed over to others to do. I do remember, however, one that I did for Acer. Somehow, that one just sticks in my mind for some reason.

Anyway, I also got a free Creative MuvoFM MP3 player for sticking with Singtel's broadband. Talk about loyalty rewards. They should've given me the iPod Mini cause that's what I really wanted :P Anyway, it's better than nothing and holds 256MB of music/data and works like a thumbdrive so I'm okay with that. Anyway, just enjoying the festive season (although not enjoying getting stuck in traffic @ Orchard Road although that can be fun too cause I be blasting me stereo there HAHAHA!

*EDIT* Oh yeah...and in the past two months of my not updating this blog, my hair's grown back (more or less to its usual mess).

It all started with an MMS...

A lot has happened in the past few days that I've missed out on writing this. I'm not going to put every single detail down but the gist of it is that I found out that people tend to exaggerate.

For example, when I met Ace yesterday, he told me that he started his own photography business. "Good for him" I thought. Then he gave me his website and told me that he had posted some pictures in there. So I went in to take a look while I was at HP. The sure, he had access to certain events and was priviledged enough to photograph a bit celebrity like John Travolta when he toured to Singapore on his Qantas 707.

But upon looking at his namecard, the back of it had things such as "Celebrity photography", "Fashion" and "magazines". His "Magazines" photography were actually advertisement photos that had a lot of touching up in them. So much so that it no longer looked like the original photograph. Still, I suppose it wouldn't really be misrepresentation for him to put that in there.

K commented that he was in the CMI category of photographers and I agree (after looking at his shots posted in the website). Well, like I said, people tend to exaggerate. Especially when it comes to their capabilities.

On another note, I met C on friday morning for pancakes at Novena. I'm still flabbergasted at how my phone number managed to get into her phone. Perhaps sometime back in recent history, someone must have given her my number since I really have no idea who she was. Anyway, after pancakes I went to meet Nick downtown for "lunch" but since it was such a late and heavy breakfast, I passed on ordering more food to stuff myself silly with. The office at FH is decent if small. However, I feel that it will suit our purposes well.

I met Ed along with Nick during lunch...Nick might just be envious but I'd say that Ed is a pretty good looking guy. Anyway, after lunch, I went on to meet A at CP. And by then, I only had a couple of hours to spare before having to pick up SY and the kids home.

It's 3.15am now and I've got a shoot at 8.30 later. 3 hours of sleep might be enough cause I'm definitely still wide awake, even at this ungodly hour. Big sis got a surprise birthday celebration with the rest of the family today. We ate so much that till now, I'm still really quite full. I printed a 22 inch by 14 inch canvas of a family portrait of big sis taken a couple of years back during an XMas dinner at her house and she loved the present. Thank god for K who did all the printing. I feel so indebted to him.

Everything here is silent again as I stay awake in my darkened room typing this out. It felt good spending the weekend with KS and KH. Yesterday, we celebrated Aldon's 1st month anniversary. So I guess it's been pretty much a weekend of family, friends, colleagues and celebrations.

Ice Cream!!!!!

Yeah...that's Mainey enjoying her Ice Cream. She was so excited about getting one that honestly, she looked like my LuoHan fish when I'm about to feed him. The excited stare at the Ice-Cream with longing. I met up with her this morning after sending the M6 in for servicing and checking the Jag's remote control cause it seems to suffer from amnesia time and again.

I'm made an appointment to have it checked cause being the idiot that I am, I totally forgot that I need the spare remote in order for them to reprogram the one that's forgetful. Anyway, sufficed to say, I kinda looked like an idiot at Malayan Motors because of that.

I went on down to PS after picking Mainey up and then had Mac's Bfast. I was pretty stuffed by the time we were through cause you know...Mac's Bfast is awesome and I usually overeat when I think that it's awesome.

I then went to get a new Motorola charger since the old one seriously died. We then proceeded to Peninsula to get the strobe fixed (the one that came crashing down yesterday) and Steven said that it would be a couple of weeks. I hope it won't cost us a bomb though. :P

Went on to Funan where I got this awesome S+ARK mouse by Microsoft. It looks really cool (it's the one in the picture). And I'm loving it!

Anyway, after that I dropped Mainey off at Millenia Walk so that she could join Piotr n JuJu for lunch and went off to TM with ST. ST liked the Starfish so I got her one. I think she really likes it heh...had a nice long talk over lunch and coffee before sending her back and heading home to do this. I'm about to go MM to collect my car.

I guess I'll see if they've fixed the passenger sunvisor then.

The Uninvited

Things happened pretty much as planned. I promised to meet ST in the evening as well as have her photo taken.

Anyway, I decided to head to the airport after dropping mom off again to shoot the car in the carpark. I found that carpark some time ago and feel that it's a good spot to take a picture there. However, I felt that it was a little wasted that it had that many lights and that the lights were sodium.

Also, I didn't have the 70 Mz-5 which could be triggered remotely by the 54 Mz-3. Anyway, the 1Ds did what it was supposed to do and I'd say that the photo came up pretty good. Anyway, working with 1 strobe issn't as easy as it seems. Even though I still had the Metz as a fill/bounce I'd much prefer it if I had something more to work with.

Hopefully, KL can pass me the 70 Mz-5 today. I'm gonna have a go at the Agfa Dye-sub to see if it works as nicely as the Canons but based on the review that KL's given it, seems to be workable. Just wish the damn thing didn't cost as much.

ST's got certain angles where she looks good (depending on the lights) and she's quite open to experimentation. I enjoy shooting her. So much so that I'd probably spend lots of time going through the shots I've taken to figure out which are her good angles.

Mainey mentioned that I don't love her anymore. Hmm...it must be due to her PMS that she's behaving this way. Gawd. How could I ever not love her? She's found her polish prince and I'm giving them time and space to be together. Afterall, it's not very nice if I kept calling is it? Poor gal's a little confused as to her position with him though. They refuse to tell each other that they love each other.

Anyway, I'm not sure where I stand in their relationship except that I'm a bystander. I'm viewing it from the outside. And to top it off, I wasn't invited to Jiao Kia's Birthday Party as well. Talk about feeling left out! Oh well.

FreeSpirit

"You can't handle the truth"

Just realized that some people just can't face the facts and run away. I suppose that's their way of escaping the truth. It's about time that a long hard look in a mirror is taken. And of course, they tell others a different story and lay the blame on some scapegoat.

My snooker sucks. I've managed to badger S into playing another round with me and I still got a big can of whoop ass although it wasn't as big. I love the way S looks when playing. The sheer concentration in her eyes, her posture and poise. Ever so graceful. It's like watching a professional play. Wait a minute, she is kinda semi-pro. She's got lotsa hidden talent but doesn't really brag about it.

We watched Die Another Day later in the evening and all she could say was, "James Bond's car is so cool!". Well, yeah cause it's like and Aston Martin Vanquish V12 babe.

Spent most of the afternoon after my meetings with Maine. She's been a little down lately and desperately needed cheering up. Ah well, that's what I'm good at. Cheering people up. Heh. We bummed around FEP for a while checking out diffferent stores selling so-called "street" accesories as well as a quaint little shop selling women's undergarments at 50% discount (the price, not the amount of material).

Had Chicken Rice for lunch and I can swear that the chicken used was not as tender or yummy as before. Probably frozen chicken. However, that didn't stop me from whalloping down 2 bowls of rice cause I was absolutely farmished.

Maine was going on about her boobs and white top that she was wearing. She swore that they've gotten bigger. Well, maybe Bruce Almighty's been paying her a visit. But later, she figured that it was due to her period and raging hormones that caused the effect.

Maine's a wonderful friend to have. Mature for her age, except when she does the "Hmmm" thing with her eyes opened really big and innocent look. That would really melt any guy into a puddle of goo. She got frustrated and almost burst into tears when I mentioned that she had put the cigarettes into the case the wrong way round though. Gawd, if there's one thing I can't handle, it's a girl sobbing...

FreeSpirit

Time flies

Just got back from the airport and found out that the gate for SQ18's closed. I suppose she'd be getting the "in the event of a water landing" lecture right about now.

It was a tearful goodbye and the CH MoFo was there as well. Didn't have the guts to look me in the eye. Guess now I know what a chicken he really is.

She should be arriving in BC in about 18 hours I guess, plus the 1 hour transit in Seoul. Right about morning there too. Damn I remember my JAL flight 18 years ago...I waas a 15 year old kid travelling on my own (the fourth time I can consciously remember taking a plane) and trasiting in Narita, Japan. I had like 12 hours to kill at Narita Hotel and about US$50 in my pocket along with a couple of coupons for meals.

Boy was I tempted to order room service but the money I had didn't get me far. But I distinctly remember jumping on the bed with joy at the new found freedom I had of not having any parents around. I was 15 years old and I was travelling ALONE! To a distant country where I didn't know anyone and was one of the coolest places on earth!

What irritated me though was the customs and immigration people back then. The Japanese dude didn't speak english, and the flight attendants all thought I was japanese and started conversing with me in Japanese...they were like super shocked to learn that I didn't have anyone with me and that I was only 15 (apparently, anyone under the age of 15 in some places had to be accompanied by an adult 21 years and above). What were my parents thinking?

Well, I'm glad I didn't get too lost and sold off to some third world country as a slave. HaHaHa...a bad slave I would've been too.

Anyway, R called me up last night to apologise for her behaviour. She was like "Oh I'm sorry and shit" and then, blamed me for being oversensitive. Oh well, you can't have the cake and eat it too I guess.

She's taken off now, and I'm sure I'll miss her. I guess I have until January before seeing her again. Can't wait.

Tattoos and Marriages

Most people discourage me from getting a tattoo. Some of them say it's the permanance factor that I'll have to consider very carefully.

Well, lets put it this way, I jumped into a marriage (which is supposed to be kinda permanent as well issn't it?); okay, so you can file for a divorce if you're really unhappy with it. How about kids? Once you have them, you can't get rid of them can you? That's kinda permanent as well. Duh.

So a tattoo is permanent. Yeah, but it doesn't have to be shown all the time. Unlike your family, kids etc etc. There are ways of hiding a tattoo. Afterall, Angelina Jolie has a fair number of them and they had to digitally remove them from her films. So that wasn't so much of a problem.

Times have changed. Of course I'm not gonna draw all over my body...just a small 8cmx4cm one at the bicep would be nice. It would be tasteful. I really don't think I'd get carried away with them.

It's Sunday night and everyone's home. KS and KH are both about to fall asleep and SY's bugging me to turn off the computer and lights since I'm writing this from my bed. Nah...not gonna happen just yet. Got some emails to send out and chee hong friends to flame.

Talking about CH guys, there are some guys that one should never introduce female friends to. They don't give a shit if she came with your or not and just take over cause they're feeling lonely, dejected and horny. Well, I guess their moralistic principle is "I managed to chat her up so too bad for you that she's going off with me instead" - well, it's not the first time he's done it but I think it's the first time he was actually succesful; and that truely surprised me.

Yeah...well, that's life huh?

FreeSpirit

4 Days and 4 Nights and 4 Minutes

7 days I do not post and people start complaining. Is my writing really that entertaining a read? A lot happens in 96 hours. J was frantic in figuring out what to buy so that she steals the show from the bride at a wedding dinner, photos of MCS were taken, a bright yellow FD RX-7 has been parked outside my mom's house (under the mango tree - what a dumb fuck), I got a tattoo (so what if it's airbrushed), a new cigarette box that's out of this world, got paid five-hundred bucks (for 5 hours' work), took some interesting photos, covered Takashimaya's 11th Anniversary D&D, felt like a fool (that only happened last night though), and consumed more MacDonald's ¼ Pounders than anyone else I know.

I so love the airbrush tattoo. Think I might actually go out n get a real one. That's probably gonna happen next week. We'll see. I also love the ciggy box that I got. It's fantastic. The ciggy pops up just enough for me to grip it with my lips. And to think that Mainey didn't think that it would pop up :P I'm just wondering how long the spring will last though.

Got a mild headache now. I suppose it could've come from the lack of sleep and the booze that I consumed at Balaclava and Eastside last night after work. I remember J saying something about someone a week (or two) ago. "Phew. I couldn't wait for him to leave." Yeah well, I guess it must've been what she probably said to C last night as well. I stuck around cause I really had nowhere else to go and nothing else to do. Besides, I needed the time for the booze to settle before driving home.

And yes, I was way below the limit. I only had 4 beers the whole night. And 1 of the beers was with food. Anyway, I guess that's why I feel the fool in me. Sometimes, I just don't get the hint. Ah well, c'est la vie, oui?

I've been hung up on retro music lately. Well, at least it's not retro dance music although kids here tend to dance to tunes such as "we didn't start the fire". I'll have to admit though, the lyrics of the song are just fantastic. Talking about what happened from the 40s to the 80s. Harry Truman, Doris Day, Studebakers, North Korea, Marrilyn Monroe (Norma Gene was her birth name by the way) etc...the song just summarizes a whole generation in 4 minutes.

Sometimes, I do wish I was some American hippie back in the 60s and 70s. Too bad I was born a decade late. Although I must say, that I did experience the cold war a little. Krushchev and Reagan at it, Jimmy Carter as President, men on the moon, the fall of the communism etc...and I understood what was going on then!

Tuesday was a kinda weird day. In that 1 day, I saw 2 Maseratis. 1 was the fantastic Quattroporte and the other, the Coupe Cambiocorsa. I think, ever since my dad got the brochure for the Maserati 420, 220 and Spyder back in the 80s sent to him, I've been in love with that brand. The Shamal and Ghibli...argh...mouth watering absolutely!

What are Italians good at? 3 things. Cars, Soccer and Fashion. Think Lamborghini, Ferarri, Maserati, Lancia etc, Inter Milan et al and Giorgio Armani, Versace and what have you. If you add female butt pinching, that'd be 4 things they're good at I suppose.

Ah well. It's been an interesting week to say the least. And yeah, I gotta go for Prata and Eggs again since they lifted the ban on eggs coming in from some Malaysian poultry farms. Time to call Jiao Kia I suppose. :)

FreeSpirit

True Friendship & False Acquaintances

Friend:

From http://www.Dictionary.com:

friend noun.

A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.


Word History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amcus “friend� and am “I love� is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos “friend� and phile “I love.� In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frond, the Old English word for “friend,� was simply the present participle of the verb fron, “to love.� The Germanic root behind this verb is *fr-, which meant “to like, love, be friendly to.� Closely linked to these concepts is that of “peace,� and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that. Ultimately descended from this noun are the personal names Frederick, “peaceful ruler,� and Siegfried, �victory peace.� The root also shows up in the name of the Germanic deity Frigg, the goddess of love, who lives on today in the word Friday, “day of Frigg,� from an ancient translation of Latin Veneris dis, “day of Venus.�

How do you define true friendship. Well, I'm not sure how everyone defines it but my definition is this:

Someone to takes you for what you are.
Someone whom you trust with intimate details of your personal life
Someone whom listens to your complaints and problems
Someone whom sees your flaws, accepts them, tells you about them
Someone whom will go out of the way to help you
Someone whom you accept and share parts of your life with.
Someone whom you can be open and honest with.

And vice versa.

From http://www.dictionary.com

ac·quain·tance noun.

Knowledge of a person acquired by a relationship less intimate than friendship.
A relationship based on such knowledge: struck up an acquaintance with our new neighbor.
A person whom one knows.
Knowledge or information about something or someone: has a passing acquaintance with Chinese history.

Yeah, that's pretty much my definition too. Plenty of those have I.

FreeSpirit

And the Rain Came

If there's one thing about anything related to so-called "Formula One", it's prestige.

I remember watching TV commercials of high life and they always either included boats of various sorts, or Formulat One cars. Yes, there are other forms of racing but somehow or other, Formula One seems to be the most prestigious of the lot. Following that, in my opinion is Le Mans 24hr Endurance.

Others have tried to reach their levels of prestige but somehow or other fail to do so. NASCAR is pretty much leatherneck blue collar and so's GT. No idea why. Perhaps it's because of the lack of big/prestigious names such as Sauber, Mercedes, BMW and Jaguar etc.

I've yet to see a Mercedes Benz WRC car, or even a BMW. Most WRC cars come from mid-range workhorse car manufacturers.

In any case, bikini clad babes and powerboats...the mix is absolutely lethal. But then again, ask them a question about those things and they'll most likely draw a blank.

I do love, however, ariel video shots of those amazing powerboats that you see in big budget movies (such as Bad Boys II) and ads for products like Drakka Noir and Hugo Boss.

Ah well, the high life. One day, I shall live it!

FreeSpirit

11 Days past

It's hard to believe that I've not blogged for 11 days.

It's hard to believe that I've been alive the past 11 days.

The past two days was mostly a blur since I was done with some crappy infection. and the past 9 before that, well, a short memory that I can't recollect.

I remember vaguely watching a movie, twice. I remember meeting friends from long ago. I remember the sea, I remember a small orange boat, I remember loosing something.

What have I done?

Zap back to current situation...I'm sitting on my couch, listening to Johnny Hates Jazz, going through blogs of other people, reading about their lives and how delariously happy they are; coming back to my own and finding out that several tags have been posted during my almost fortnight long sojourn away from blogging.

Gotta remember to build 1) File server for dad's office with redundancy drives and RAID if possible and; 2) Rebuild network and increase to gigabit. Ah hell. Like who's gonna notice the difference anyways?

Wayne's pretty good. He's totally keen on learning but sometimes, I feel a little too eager. Something like eager beaver from leave it to beaver days. :P I'm in my sentimental retro music moods now...and Secret Garden's gotta be one of the best "Lets get back together" songs. SY's listening to it. I'm hoping it'll do something to her.

I've just realised that those people I saw literally being carried out of pubs along mohd sultan last night could have been what we were like during my days of constant binging on booze. Although I've never been pissed-stoned cold drunk (except for 1 time but that was at my own room in student housing so it doesn't count), I've had buddies which were in my situation. Somehow or other, I always managed to get home, pissed or not. Before venturing out on my own, having my own place, I remember driving home arriving to mom's laughter of me being high which became scolding later on. I guess she didn't really know whether or not to laugh at me, or to get pissed off by the fact that I drove her car home in a not-so-sober state.

Yeah...those were the days. I guess, everyone gets old, everyone grows up. NOT!
FreeSpirit

12.30AM...

It's 12.30am and I've just had a solid 5 hours of sleep. It feels weird getting up at this time. My fridge has fucked up on me again. I hope that it's only temporary. I've tried cleaning it up to see if it helps. Well, we'll see.

Just got down to charging the AAs for tomorrow's shooting. Hope I've got enough to last the day. 2.5gigs of storage might not last though.

The problem with having a heavy meal like bacon, eggs and mee goreng before heading to bed is that I tend to get hearburn when I get up 5 hours later. Hence, I'm feeling a little crappy now.

Perhaps some coke would be in order but it ain't getting cold so washing it down with room-temperature coke would be a little crappy.

It's all peaceful and quiet tonight. Not very hot either. I can't for the life of me, remember what woke me up but I had the feeling that people were looking for me. It's a sixth sense thingy...

Human Nature

It is human nature, I suppose, to ignore the old after something new arrives. Could it be the same with friends though? Hard to say.

I ripped the rubber surround and cone of one of the Wild Beast's subwoofer on friday. It hurt like hell cause those things cost a bomb to replace.

I'll be damned if I'm not tired. I konked off at 8.30pm last night and only woke up at 9am this morning. A solid 12­½ hours of sleep. Feels good this morning. I've got an early start tomorrow. 8am @ Cat High which means that most likely, everyone'll have to be at TBH tonight. Don't think I can make it that early and Tristan's a late riser.

Met up with a couple interested to do their bridal photography. They're on a tight budget and I understand. We'll try to cater towards their budget but obviously, they can't really expect the sun, the moon and the stars with that.

Friday's SGH event turned out quite well. Just hope that perhaps they'll make us of us again for other things.

Peace and Quiet

Woke up this morning to the phone ringing and a really bad throat. I guess I must've been really tired last night cause I just konked out after hitting the bed. Heard from D that Maine's gonna give it a go with the polish dude. I hope it works out well for them.

Surprisingly, this morning is awfully quiet and I'm able to hear the distant rumblings of the MRT trains, a solitary sneeze and and airliner flying by at high altitude.

When I was a kid, my ambition was to become a pilot. All hopes were dashed however, once I hit primary 3 when I started wearing glasses due to spending too much time infront of the idiot box playing Atari games.

It feels totally peaceful this morning. And I'm loving every moment of it.

The midweek post...

The weekend was interesting to say the least. Did some blading, met some buddies, had a little bit of fun. Monday comes, and then the guilt of the weekend sets in.

Did more photography. Seconday school kids are an enthusiastic bunch and are vain enough to wanna be photographed. So that was alright. Unfortunately, coming from a well disciplined school, they all looked like they could learn to relax and live a little.

Another day of roti pratas, eggs, luncheon meat and bread. This is fast becoming my only diet. After which I wash it all down with coca-cola.

It's pretty humid today and boy do I feel sleepy. Ran around like a headless chicken from Beach Rd to Jurong, to Town and back again. And I've still gotta go to Mandai later. Dang if I don't chalk up mileage today.

D's fun to be with and her innocence betrays her look of someone more grown up. It's not to say that she's childish but the innocence in her behaviour manages to escape once in a while and I'm reminded as to how old I really am.

SY, Darren and Tristan came back last night. However, Tristan, due to lack of sleep refused to get up this morning and thus SY was late going to work. I know cause I had to drive her there in a hurry. Not so fun nor recommended if you've got two kids sitting in their child restraints backseat.

After dropping everyone off, it was time to head down to dad's office. Why oh why does everyone think that I can pull off miracles with the computer is beyond me. I got bombarded by questions once I arrived and it didn't stop till I left, promising to return another day with the necessary spare parts to finish up.

Got the product, and now, it's sitting in the car, waiting to be photographed. I sure hope I've got the time to do it. Added Y to my MSN as well. We might be having a movie outing next week. We'll just have to see how it goes.

Cool factor

Am I cool or uncool? [CLICK] You are Super-Cool! Woah! Step back - the future's so bright for you it's blinding me! You are the coolest of the cool. Everyone looks up to you as the benchmark for being coooool. The fonze was your grandfather. Any cooler and you'd freeze! WOO it's chilly in here. Cool quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

Biting off more than one can chew

Have I bitten off too much? Work has been pretty crazy the past couple of days. Cat High is pretty demanding but to top it off with a porta right afterwards? Geez.

No wonder I slept all day.

I've been putting off too many things due to procrastination. Now it's all catching up. I need 48 hours a day and no sleep. That way, I might get things done better, see the people I want to see and spend time with who I choose to.

The 1Ds is getting craploads of boogers on the CMOS. I don't think it's because I've not looked after it. Contrary to that. I've hardly used the thing at all. Most of the time, I still rely on the 10D and it's pretty clear of boogers save for 1 or 2 small ones that don't really affect anything.
Ah well. Lugged all the equipment back to the studio after the shoot last night. My car feels like it handles way better now that the load's off.

I found my Earl Klugh/Bob James CD. Been listening to track 2 ever since. Boy that track certainly makes me feel good again.

I guess I've been a little too caught up with my own stuff and work lately. I feel that I've been neglecting a few people. Like I said, I need more hours in a day. This sucks. Our days are too short, our lives are too short. There's never enough time. Oh how I wish I could turn back the clock!

Sleepy heads...

Slept all day...watch a little LOTR, Starsky n Hutch and then slept somemore...

Yup. That's what I did today. SY made fabbo chicken pie though. And I slept through Wendy's visit. Man, I must've been totally worn out after yesterday's shooting.

Spent most of the afternoon at Catholic High followed by porta at Sheraton Towers. I hate that carpark...damages my undercarriage when I leave it.

I still can't find my sunglasses. Which means that I've probably lost them. Damn. Looks like I gotta go out n get a new pair. That seriously sucks. Tomorrow's gonna be a pretty full day. Blading with Maine, Piotr, Juls n Raf in the morning followed by an MCS meet up later on.

Ah...I seriously need nicotine right about now. Guess I'll have to go take a walk.

Reflections

Every day, every minute, every second draws us closer to death. If I was a doctor, and someone said to me, "Doctor, I'm dying" my reply would be "We're all dying". It's a rather pessimistic way of looking at life and living but I just realised that as we age, death looms just around the corner. Rather morbid thought at 3am I must say.

I radio's belching some music that I've no idea who it is composed or sung by. It just sounds good at this time. 3 empty coke cans sit on my coffee table. Boy am I addicted to it or what.

I was surprised that KopiTiam @ NUH did not have any eggs to serve this morning. I would think that of all places, KopiTiam would have plenty of stock. They must've swiped some home for their own consumption.

I've just completed watching The Twin Towers. It's pretty good. I am surprised that I didn't fancy watching the Trilogy in the cinema. There are a couple of movies that I'd want to watch though but they've come and gone. Oh well, I suppose I'll have to catch them on DVD. It rained heartily earlier this evening so now, the air is cool and fresh. Its freshness only spoilt by the smell of smoke emitting from the lighted tip of my cigarette.

A few lights on several apartment block are on here and there. I guess there are more people than me suffering from chronic insomnia. They're usually the same ones that remain on night after night. The air is cool preventing me from turning on the fan. I've got the balcony light on and that's the only light source that I'm typing this by. The laptop's screen does seem to be a little glaring though.

I feel that I'm at peace with myself. I haven't felt this relieved for quite a while. Darren's operation went smoothly without a hitch. That's a pretty good sign. Another note that I should make is that his ultrasound scan turned out negative for a hole in the heart but positive for narrowing arteries around the heart and thus the murmour that was heard by the anesthesist.

Vanilla ice-cream with milo powder on top. That's my latest concoction for dessert. Tastes wonderful. I haven't enjoyed a good dessert in a while and I'm thus indulging myself for the time being. Of course, a can of root beer right now would be perfect as well but I suppose I can't have the cake and eat it...or can I?

I've been pretty isolated for the past couple of days. Probably because I'm stressed out by the fact that Darren's gone for surgery. I saw some other kids in PICU which stands for Paediatric Intensive Care Unit. I can only try to imagine what the parents of those kids must be going through keeping toil day and night. How fragile life is.

The breeze right now is wonderful. I'm drifting to thoughts of the time I spend in Vancouver and going speedboating at horseshoe bay with Jason. Those were the days. My memories of the place dart back and forth since it has been more than 10 years since then.

I have little memories of Perth though...probably because the place was so boring that I almost died. I must say though, that I did enjoy the semester I was there, staying in student housing @ Mt Lawley campus, being with a bunch of rather crazy pals.

I do remember with great detail, the time I spent the whole night at Brian's 7-11 branch in Canada, and immediately after that, the next morning, we drove to Whistler and had a brilliant day of skiing. It was rather tiring at the end of the day when we had to make the 2+ hour drive back home though, remembering that we didn't sleep the night before. We kicked ass on the black diamond slope though, tackling the moguls with adrenaline-rushed enthusiasm.

Ah...to be skiing again. Well, the next best thing here to do is to go roller-blading. Dammit if I can't find my sunglasses though.

Malpractices

Doctors. If it's not one thing, it's another.

It began with a saccral dimple. It then moved to MRIs and Chromozome counts. Now, it's hernia and a heart murmur. Will these 'discoveries' never end?

I seem to have lost faith in our public healthcare. Perhaps, now a second or third opinion might be in order. Doctors here are no cajuns. I feel that all they care about is their own malpractice coverage. Well, if you live in a country of mercenaries, what else can you expect?

Perhaps the government should review it's public healthcare system. And the hippocratic oath? Here's it's hypocritical alright. Damn it all.

The weather's hot tonight. When will it all end?

Haircuts

SY now looks like Dr Lilly Neo with her new haircut. I look like an NSF boy, fresh out of boot camp. It's refreshing but I'd probably use too much shampoo the first couple of times.

The dude that cut my hair, while claiming to have 20 years experience, tells me that it's nicer after the cut because it's got shape now. Well, the cut cost me $10 and for the amount of hair shaved off, I think it's pretty worth it.

My camp's RSM would be proud of me right now. My hair's probably shorter than his. Too bad I'm only due in for reservist in November.

Picked up Tristan's parcel from the Post Office at Westmall today. I never had a parcel delivered to me when I was 3 years old. It's amazing what kids get nowadays. There's a crescent moon tonight. The kids love hanging out at the garden staring at it.

Sis has got a bad throat. She's walking around with a surgical mask on to prevent what she thinks might be a virus from spreading to the kids and everyone around. She looks weird with it on.

Met up with Juls last night for a coffee at Toh Yi. Had quite an interesting talk with him. Will probably go rollerblading with them next weekend if I'm free. Well...that's about it for now. I'll see if I can think of something else to write about later..

FreeSpirit

Forsan miseros meliora sequentur

I've read in books about parenting, fathers having the feeling of loss and neglect after a child is born. It's never been evident to me until now. I stay over at the MIL's and yet, SY chooses to ignore me most of the night. Well, it's either ignore me or dump the kid on my lap while she enjoys a round of ice-cream.

It's not that I don't want to take care of Darren but the fact of the matter is, I feel that we should do it together and not one at a time parenting. Anyway, we went to watch "The Stepford Wives" and I must say, that I was quite entertained if not for the fact that GV at Marina South totally sucks now. You'd have to walk a huge round just to get to the damn cinema and even so, the signs were inadequate.

I was pretty ticked off by the fact that it was such a long walk, and the fact that we got lost since I parked at Pan Pacific Hotel side and it takes a fucking hike to timbuctoo in order to get access to MS shopping centre from Pan Pac Hotel. I then decided to move the friggin car instead. I feel that patrons should be warned at entry or at the carpark that it would take a fucking long walk to reach the shopping centre even though it's the same fucking carpark in the same fucking building.

I've not stepped into MS for some time and will probably not do so again for a while to come. The MC and/or contractor should at least have that half a brain to allow patrons walking space in between renovation sites. Obviously, whoever came up with the idea of the renovation and implemented it doesn't have any common sense at all. No wonder the mall's deserted.

Worrying about being late for the movie, I had to settle for a quick bite at Burger King which incidentally, is not my favourite fast food joint. Their fries suck and they really need to work on their front counter staff's skills. MacDonald's is way more efficient. One up for the big boys. That in itself already began to show signs of an evening that wasn't meant to be enjoyable for me.

At least the movie was entertaining. If nothing else was. Maine SMSed me during the movie and I didn't return the call till after. Turns out, she's got someone asking her out on a date tomorrow. She's so worried about the date tomorrow and the disaster that will ensue. Well, my advice is to bite the bullet and take things one step at a time. Well, that's not my entire solution to her. I shan't blog it so only she and I and probably Manda know about it for the time being.

Yeah I'm a big fan of latin quotes. So what? Everyone needs a vice or two. Go figure.

It's fucking hot and I really do not like staying over at MIL's. I just feel uncomforatable here. That's all. My keyboard is beginning to fuck up since I'm down to using the ultra-portable to blog. My notebook seems to be having trouble connecting to the wireless network that exists here. Obviously it wasn't set up by me.

There comes a time, when a man feels so neglected that his sense of belonging disappears and he just wants to be left completely alone. I think I'm feeling one of those times. Yes, I love getting all the attention. So what? I'm selfish and conceited. Big deal.
Well, it looks like everyone wants to sleep now and the pressure on me to sleep as well is mounting. I hate this feeling. I hate being here. I hate everything. Ah...complaints complaints.

Well, I'm sorry if you have to read it but this is just my fucked up mood at the moment.

LostSpirit

Manga Madness

I'm now watching "Ghost in a Shell" at the moment. Pretty unique show. I've kinda figured that the Wachowski Brothers got the idea for the plugs and wires going into Neo's head. And of course all the weapons and shit.

Dropped Tristan off in school today, followed by MIL and SIL at the Eye Centre. I don't expect them back till about 6pm. SY's gonna go watch a movie with me tonight. The last movie we watched together was Spiderman 2. Been a while since we've gone for a movie together.

Anyway, I seriously gotta admire Japanese artwork. The translation sucks and sounds like they're trying too hard so make their characters sound cool. I guess to a certain extent, that's what makes the show a little on the adolescent side as with all cartoons/manga.

I did enjoy Akira tremendously though. I felt that it was a little too psychadelic and really a sensory overdose but it's still a good film. I'm surprised to find an October 2002 copy of FHM US Edition in KA's room. Didn't figure him for an FHM reader.

Ah well, looks can be deceiving and I've been deceived plenty of times.

FreeSpirit

45 minutes past 9am

Fat lady's at it again. Or at least her car's at it again. Every morning since I can remember, her car alarm goes off. It's not the usual electronic siren as well. It's her horn that goes beep beep beep.

I'm awakened by 2-stroke engines clacking as the rider speeds out of the carpark. A car horn goes off occasionally. I think to myself, don't these people know the meaning of peace and quiet? Maybe I should just get into my car and blast Usher at full volume.

I'm supposed to be at SY's mom's place in a couple of hours. God, I really don't feel like leaving my sanctuary. I gotta get my tube amp fixed. I can only listen to music at the most miniscule volumes lest the distortions come in and grate my ears.

My new coffee table's full of coke cans. Well, at least they're not beer cans. Unfortunately, I'll have to return the Motorola V80 today. I kinda like the phone and have gotten used to it. But it's okay. I still have my trusty V878. I've been let down by Nokia too many times in different ways to bother about the fact that everyone says that they make good phones. Okay, so I'm sour about the fact that I didn't get the job there. So what?

Moira Kelly looked dead good back in 1994. She still looked okay in 1999's West Wing but they made her look so much like an 'auntie' that honestly, she's not all that attractive anymore. Movies like "With Honors" and "St Elmo's Fire" always reminded me of the time I had in Uni of Oregon. Too bad it didn't last as long as I wanted it to.

They don't make movies like they used to. I feel that the current movies lineup lacks 'coming of age' movies. Stuff like "The Breakfast Club", "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" etc. Well, the 80's and early 90's were times that new genres of movies were defined.

I'd say that the this decade is the decade of TV serials and Mini-Series. Shows such as "E.R.", "Boston Public", "The Practice", "Sex and the City", "The West Wing", "Band of Brothers" etc.
They're funny, they're witty, they're emotional, they've got a great cast and crew and they're well written and filmed. What more can I ask for? Free entertainment except foe a couple of them which are cable.

I look out at the world from my glass managerie and wonder. What's everyone thinking of and doing right at this instant? I guess humans are so diversified that I really doubt that two people are the same or share the same thoughts. Sure you might agree on something with someone but there're bound to be variations in both perception and thought.

Hmm...My LuoHan is hungry. Time to go feed it.

FreeSpirit

3 Meals a Day

Mom always told me to eat right. "Eat right". I've no real idea what that includes. Anyway, I totally pigged out today. I skipped breakfast...who doesn't on occasion anyway, right?

I had lunch at about 4pm which consisted of Swensen's Fish n' Chips, sauteed mushrooms, calamari rings and ended with an absolutely fabulous topless 5 ice-cream. At 7pm, I was at SY's mom's place and had a huge bowl of homemade Laksa.

It's now 10.30pm and I feel like a couple of eggs and luncheon meat with bread. Am I totally pigging out or what???? Dang...something's seriously making me hungry.

I'm now vegetating on my couch, watching Dave on LD. It's pretty much a feel-good movie and it never fails to make me feel good. It's even got Arnold Schwarzenegger in a cameo appearance. And to think that Arnie is now Governor of California. Another Ronald Reagan in the making perhaps?

I'm surprised Clint Eastwood issn't running for president come november.

Kerry or Bush? Personally, I'd prefer a Democrat in the house. Clinton was pretty good, until mucked up by Monica. Republicans tend to be over-aggressive on defence. But I suppose their arguement would be, the best defence is a good offence.

But then Senetor Kerry doesn't look very presidential...more like a horse if you ask me. Lacks charisma. Reminds me a little too much of the Prince of Wales. Anyway, enough politics! People are gonna start saying that I should mind my business and keep an eye on what's going on at home instead.

I hate home theatres!! One minute, the voices are soft as hell which makes it almost impossible for me to hear, the next minute, the full 150-piece orchestra is blaring their french horns, clarinets, oboes and cornets in my ears! And to think that with the projector, I can only watch LDs after dark. Darn it...

I suppose I'll have to try keeping the doors closed in order to keep the peace around the neighbourhood. I doubt I'd ever watch an action movie past 10pm. I haven't read the papers in ages. Took 1 look today at yesterday's Streats and found that Lee Hsien Loong has taken over the office of the Prime Minister of Singapore. I'll join everyone in sending him my regards and congradulating him on the position. I do like to note, however, that his speaking skills or perhaps his speachess could do with improvement.

He is articulate but still lacks the charisma.

Ahh...time to go to the kitchen and start cooking!

FreeSpirit

3am...

It is now 3am in the morning but I can't for the life of me fall asleep. My mind is very active right now and it's a little overwhelmed by numerous thoughts. I've just finished my staple diet of eggs and pork luncheon meat.

Maine was really bored at school today. I can understand her boredom because I felt pretty much the same way when they started teaching me about webpage design and authoring back in Uni. I had already designed a webpage at the time and knew the fundamentals of the world wide web. I guess she'll just have to bear with it for a while.

The HIDs on the car now rocks! I love night driving once again heh...

Mandy's a really fun and funky person to hang out with. She really knows how to enjoy by making fun of herself and yakking to people around her. The model that was supposed to shoot tomorrow night called up to cancel the shoot since he had to "Tone up his body first" in order to better prepare himself. I definitely do not have the discipline to do something like that. Hence, I am not a model. HaHaHa!

I explained to SY the reasons why I can't carry a credit card. It's not so much that I can't get one but rather the fact that I shouldn't get one. My first reason is that it's too much hassle to have to pay for something using a credit card, then have to write out another check to pay the credit card bill. If I forget, I incur late charges and additional interest.

The second reason is that I purchase items based on affordability. If I can buy something outright, it's affordable. With a credit card and a credit limit that makes most day-to-day items and gadgets that I want buyable. I tend to have a bad habit of not thinking about the product's worth, or the interest that would accumulate if I don't pay the bill then the statement comes in. I believe that most people whom suffer from credit card debts probably have the same problem as I do, but they won't admit it.

Since I've admitted it, I believe that resisting the ability to hold a credit card would relieve me of the burden (and worry) thereafter. I can see the uses of a credit card, however, but I've lived without one for many years and I don't think that not having one now would be that much of a disadvantage. Besides, I can keep track of my expenditures clearly as well. I might perhaps keep 1 card and cancel the rest.

Well, now that my stomach is full, I think that my eyelids are beginning to slowly come down real hard and shut with a loud clang. I'm typing this in between moments of utter and complete state of comatose. It's a pretty warm night so I guess I might just turn on the air-conditioner.

FreeSpirit

On the road

I'm now sitting along Orchard road, soaking in the sights. Motorola's having a roadshow here at the moment and I'm logged in via 802.11b.

Unfortunately, I believe that they'ce started a little early and the crowd's not exactly here yet. Given the opportunity to suggest, I'd suggest that they'd start from 2pm all the way to 6pm. Afterall, most are either still at work, sleeping off the alcohol from last night's partying or just bumming at home.

The hustle and bustle of Orchard Rd will not really hit its peak until about 4pm on a Saturday anyway.

Been up almost all night working on the three things mentioned previously. Obviously, I'm a little too concussed to really remember what they are.

Well, gotta make this blog a short one. People are beginning to wonder what I'm doing typing on the laptop and are poking their busybody heads to have a peek.

Besides, this is an unsecure/unencrypted connection and I'm at one of the busiest places in Singapore at the moment. Good opportunity to hijack and be hijacked :P

Definitely From the Road, FreeSpirit

Motoro Wha...???

I'm up to my ears in work and it's all my fault. I should definitely learn to under-promise and over-deliver. First rule of business. I gotta start the rules of business thingy. If not, I'm gonna end up just like the majority of businesses out there.

I still have 3 things to do after this. 1) Install Canon's PhotoRecord to print the stickers; 2) Install Motorola's phone software and 3) Edit Motorola's Ads into a single VCD/DVD.

Gawd...I'm already feeling a little sleepy and VERY hungy. Spent part of the day working on Cal's blog (to which I've link but he's yet to reciprocate). Maine is incredibly impatient when it comes to designing websites, blogs etc etc. I could almost feel her frustration through MSN.

She's probably frustrated also because her mobile phone is cut off.Ah well, you'll learn to live without one anyway. I remember not having a mobile or cellular phone until 1992. I bought it simply because I was on my own and it looked so cool to be able to walk around acting cool. But the phones back then were HUGE...and I mean huge!

Took the Jag out for a spin after picking up the ads from Christine. She needs them done by sunday which is actually tomorrow. Oh well, obviously I need to get some sleep soon or else I'm so gonna zombue tomorrow.

FreeSpirit

Chicken Rice and TV Shows

Just got home after chicken rice and 4 episodes of the West Wing. If ever I idolise anyone, it would be Sam Seaborn in the show. He's role in the film is White House Deputy Communications Director and is played by Rob Lowe. I can't imagine a better actor to play the role. Sadly enough, he leaves the series in its fifth season.

Another night of Bacon, eggs and bread...it's my staple diet. Whoever came up with bacon must've been a cullinary genious. Ham's good as well but bacon beats everything hands down.

I'm updating my Windows XP to SP 2. Seems to have additional features that improve on the OS. Nathan's PC at Hotprint's got this fantastic Mac OSX-alike expanding icons. I'm now looking for the dock for Windows XP.

Apart from the fact that my apartment now smells like breakfast at red robin's or white spot (both great restaurants in Vancouver, B.C.), I'm pretty satisfied at what I just ate. It's a pretty quiet night tonight. No wind of anysort, no rustling of leaves, nothing.

I'm finding it more and more impossible to level in HB. Now, at level 160, I require about 2million exp in order to level up once. Gets kinda tedious after a while. The HIDs on my car are brilliant! I missed having them in my car for the two plus months that it took them to find me replacements (the older ballasts kept blowing).

I'm beginning to feel the effects of a heavy meal at this time of the night. Trying to keep my eyes open so that when the download of WindowsXP SP 2 is complete, I can do an unattended update.

Fuel consumption on my car has improved since I installed the Apex'i dual funnel ait filter. It's amazing the difference an air filter can do. My cellphones' giving me constant reminders that its battery is low, the sound of the bubbles rising to the surface and popping plus the sound of the water leaving the rainbar is having a hypnotic effect on me.

Hey, that's to be expected, right?

FreeSpirit

With my own eyes

Just when I thought that my problems with the HID headlamps were solved, the wires melt and catch fire. Good thing they were still installing it when it happened. A car fire can be pretty serious. Time for me to get a couple of fire extinguishers. One for the car and the other for my kitchen :P

Apart from that, it was a pretty uneventful day. I guess I must've poked a thorn in K cause he grouchily explained that the reason he doesn't answer the phone was either because he was asleep or because he's in the loo. Well, at least he could return the call after noticing a missed call. But I guess if it were really important, I'd call him again anyways.

Anyway, I can't really fault him cause he's been out canvassing for jobs running himself ragged while I'm just canvassing from home. I'm getting a little hungry now but I don't think I'll have anything to eat yet cause I'm supposed to have chicken rice for dinner and I don't wanna miss out on that.

Going off to pick up SY from the office soon...take a shower and remember to bring baking dish since I forgot the last time round.

Raf n Maine were in HB. I guess they have lotsa spare time on their hands. I have lotsa things to do...but just downright can't be bothered to do it. Ah well...alls swell huh.

FreeSpirit

Frustrations...

Typed out a full blog yesterday only to have it disappear while trying to post. Most unfortunate. Oh well.

Woke up to the phone clanging it's usual ringtone. Someone wants a portfolio done. But to call before 8.30am?

It's good to have friends by my side. Helps me cheer up sometimes. I enjoy staying up late at night. The sound of silence, the lack of neighbours screeming, and of course the ability to watch my favourite DVDs on my big screen projector.

Sharon's bought a new car. It's a Peugeot 206CC. She promised to give me a ride in it. I can't wait. The trill of driving topless once again. I remember the time when I had my Renault 19 Cabrio. Man did I get noticed in it! Too bad the car was quite crappy. Sharon's a nice girl. Sometimes, I feel that she gets bullied a little too often though.

Watched "The American President" again last night. I love the way Annette Bening looks. She's just so glamourous in that film...but then, since when is she not? Soemtimes, I feel that movie makers and actors are just people who live out their childhood fantasies of play-acting. Of being someone that they're not. I guess it's an excuse to remove oneself from the reality and live in fantasyland for a couple of hours.

It's entertainment afterall. I wonder how Maine's doing. I haven't seen her since Sunday. I hope she gets well soon. Been reading her blog. She seems to enjoy her little moments more and more. Ah...to be single and free...

FreeSpirit

Candid Camera

Atenza Club Singapore got dragged into something which didn't really concern it. Kinda pissed cause the last thing I wanted was to be dragged into a policy fight with members of MCS.

3 weeks of non-stop photography. And it's starting today. I guess I'll have to see how I can schedule my time so that I've got some available for R&R.

How do I know I'm good in bed? Well, to be honest, I don't. I haven't slept with enough women to find out from them anyways. So I'd probably suck at it.

Was out last night/this morning. Just went to east coast and sat on the bench near Macs and talked from 11.30pm last night till about 3am this morning. I got home at 4.15 am and dropped like a log once I hit the sack.

We talked about a great many things but the thing that stuck in my mind was that when I die, I'd like for it to be a quick one. That's why I don't go for annual health checkups I guess. Uncle Fook was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and since the diagnosis was made, he's been depressed and chemotherapy made him even more sick.

All that just to extend his life by 3 months. Is it worth it? Enduring an extra 3 months of pain? I'd rather not be diagnosed, and perhaps find out I have cancer about a month before I drop dead.

Of Parents and Children

We should never fault our parents for being unreasonable. Afterall, they're the ones that gave us life in the first place. Parents don't apologise to their children. It just unheard of. Also, to them, it gives the impression to children that they are vulnerable and prone to mistakes.

I've never heard dad apologise to me for yelling or even giving me the belt. It's terribly unfair since I never asked to be born in the first place. Well, what can I say? I do feel the pain when I hear my kid crying after giving him a good spanking though. And I do feel sorry. But how do I apologise after hitting him? It's impossible if you ask me.


The problem with parents is, that as the child grows older, he/she usually gets wiser. Parents always think that they're the wise ones. I told dad this: "When I was born, you were 40 times my age, however, now that I'm in my 30s, you're only twice my age". They have to realise sooner or later that their children do grow up.

Teenage times must have been the most trying. I've been through the embarrasing moments when I get scolding infront of my friends and they get questioned as well. But after some time, I let it pass. Of course, one can never remain hostile towards one's parents for long...afterall, they do love us like nobody else can.

FreeSpirit

Punishments and retributions...

I hate the word.

I hate it even more when I feel that I've been punished for something that I didn't really do or wasn't really involved in.

But well, I suppose if the punishment has to be served, then I'm the one to serve it.

It's like the time when I made fun of the Oregon Ducks to the head coach. I was punished by being dressed up as the mascot and made to reveal my identity during half-time. Boy did I feel stupid. But I did deserve it that time cause I did make fun of the ducks...and they're still Sitting DUCKS!!!!

It's National Day and I'm not filled with nationalistic pride. Why? Cause they're having a big ass party and I ain't invited that's why. There're a lot worse places than to be I suppose. Downtown's like a ghost town. It's really empty. I guess everyone's staying home to watch the parade.

It's entertaining enough I suppose but it used to be punishment for watching too much TV.

FreeSpirit

Dreams...

1) Aston Martin Vanquish V12
2) Maserati Quattroporte
3) Bentley Continental GT

My 3 dream cars.

1) Volvo XC90
2) Porshe Cayenne Turbo
3) Land Rover Discovery

My 3 dream SUVs.

1) Kate Beckinsale
2) Femke Jensen
3) Charlize Theron

My 3 dream dates.

1) Whistler Mountain, British Columbia
2) The Arlberg, Austria
3) Vail/Beaver Creek, Colorado

My 3 dream ski vacations

1) Vanua Levu, Fiji
2) Anguilla, British Virgin Islands
3) South Male' Atoll, Maldives

My 3 dream island vacations

1) To own a castle
2) To own a private jet
3) To own a luxury yacht

My 3 dreams in life

I don't gamble so we can forget about sudden winnings. I'm sorta lazy so we can forget about working for it. My family ain't rich (unless I've got a billionare aunt somewhere with no offspring that I never knew about) so forget inheritence.

Oh well, I suppose the dreams will just have to be that. Dreams. I've read about rags to riches stories. I don't think it'll happen to me hahaha!

I'm awoken by the noise of my various nephews and nieces running and screaming at the top of their lungs. I suppose it's not all that bad that I'm uncle to 6 children. It beats being my parents who are grandparents to 8 spoiled brats.

It's amazing how to some, getting married and bearing children is their dream in life. Seriously, they've gotta dream more. Live a little. Life can be all champagne wishes and caviar dreams. If you try hard enough to live out those dreams.

When I was studying photo-journalism, I wanted to go to some war zone and perhaps show the world how ugly war is through images. Of course there're plenty of those around but everyone has a unique perspective and I think it includes me. Unfortunately, I got married and settled down so that didn't work out too well.

Today is National Day (or Independance Day). There's gonna be a parade, flying helicopters and aeroplanes and fireworks. Every year, it's the same thing. I missed the time when the new government had just taken over from SM Lee and they had this fantastic street party called Swing Singapore. The last party we had of that scale was the Millennium Party although we did celebrate the millennium a year too early.

For those who believe that the new millennium begins in year 2000, I'm afraid you're wrong. There's no such thing as 0 BC or AD. It was 1 BC to 1 AD. Imagine the significance of that rollover if it were to occur today. I'd party like it's the end of the world.

I've gotta get out there and watch some movies. I, Robot is one of them. Oh well, when time permits and when I have a date I suppose. I'd better get up soon. This lounging and lazing in bed can't be all that healthy. Besides, I feel like I need a fag now.

FreeSpirit

Rhythm Divine

Escucha el ritmo de tu corazon (Whispered)

From the coast of Ipanema
to the Island of Capri
all the way to Kuala Lumpur
I will follow you wherever you may be

From the moment, I first saw you
Knew my heart could not be free
Had to hold you in my arms
There can never be another for me

All I need is
THE RHYTHM DIVINE
Lost in the music
You're heart will be mine
All I need is
to look in your eyes
Viva la musica
Say you'll be mine

Can you feel the heat of passion
Can you taste our love's sweet wine
Join the dance and let it happen
Put tomorrow's cares right out of your mind
As the music draws you closer
And you fall under my spell
I will catch you In my arms now
Where the night can take us no can tell

All I need is
THE RHYTHM DIVINE
Lost in the music
You're heart will be mine
All I need is
the look in your eyes
Viva la musica
Say you'll be mine

Gotta have this feeling forever
Gotta live this moment together
Nothing else matters
just you and the night
Follow on the wings of desire
now the rhythm is taking you higher
No one can stop us from havin' it all

You are my heart......you are my soul
All I need is
THE RHYTHM DIVINE
Lost in the music
You're heart will be mine
All I need is
the look in your eyes
Viva la muscia
Say you'll be mine

Can you feel the rhythm?
Can you feel the rhythm?
Can you feel the rhythm?
Burning .....Burning

Darkness falls...

Supper was pretty fab and consisted of Indo Mee's Mee Goreng and a couple of eggs. The can of coke came later together with the fags...

Equinox's Asia Bar is a pretty wannabe place. Apart from the nice view, the crowd kinda sucked and the music was worse. But, all things considered, they have a lot going for them so that's why I figured that they're still packed.

They're still playing Mahjong next door...and shouting a fair bit. I'm surprised the secret service issn't here cause the near-future prime minister's in-laws live just across the street.

I remember having a function at this place when I was doing my LLB at SIC. Made such a racket that the cops came to tell me to tone it down a little...gosh how times have changed...nobody has functions anymore.

I guess going to a disco is too convenient now.

FreeSpirit

Moments...

I'm sitting at the patio. There's a cool breeze. The neighbour's playing Mahjong and those who are always fashionably late are on their way to their rendezvous with their party-mates.

I hear a BMW drive by, it's headlight giving me a momentary glimpse of the houses around me. The Jag's parked in the garage...I'm staring at it as the light from the energy savers bounce of it's muscular curves.

The mango tree outside casts a lone shadow as it's lit by the single sodium lamp. The leaves flutter in the wind and russle eerily. A fruit bat darts in and out of the dense leaves and branches as it searches for its dinner. I can hear it's almost ultrasonic squeeks as it navigates the web of branches.

I'm savouring this moment of peace and quiet. Maine's online now. She can't figure out what to do with her blog page and it's driving her up the wall. Serenz just came online as well.

SY's pretty docile tonight. Might have something to do with the fact that she went shopping the whole day at Suntec and bought a couple of handbags. I'm amazed at what shopping can do for someone.

I've never had an extra-marital affair and most likely will not/dare not go that far. I probably wouldn't be able to live with the guilt anyways. But is it at all possible to have sex so completely without emotion that there is no guilt involved afterwards? Doubtful but it's possible. Afterall, we're men.

I've been listening and re-listening to Enrique Iglasias' Rhythm Divine. It's a good song.

Serenz told me that she went for a movie with a stupid twist. Based on her review, I shall not waste my $8.50 on a ticket to watch it. Aparently, it began okay but the twist was the big block of cheese.

Time to go rummage for sustenance...stomach is making grotesque noises and I haven't burped or farted in a while which can only mean that I'm hungry.

FreeSpirit

Misgivings...

I'm not proud of myself. There are better people in this world to be with. For some strange reason, people dislike to see some others pissed off or frustrated. But it's usually at the expense of someone else.

I am reading Leadership by Rudolph W. Giuliani. It's interesting that I'm reading a book written by a Republican. I'm so a liberal democrat. I'm all for freedom of speech, the 1st 4th and 8th amendments of the constitution etc.

Maine says that I try too hard to impress people with my intelligence. Well, to be honest, I'm probably the least intelligent of her friends. That's why I try to act smart. I get stale after a while and then the dumbness shows through.

Ad lost a close friend to cancer a few days ago. I'm not feeling proud of myself about the fact that I had to take a raincheck on our meeting yesterday. I'll have to make it up to her somehow. Perhaps, I'm not such a fantastic friend afterall.

I'm listening to Brothers in Arms by Dire Straits. It's a pretty old song but nonetheless a very meaningful one. I also love Don Henley's New York Minute...another meaningful song.

I'm gonna start pigging out (i.e. Making SuperSized Me out of myself). Maybe it might make me feel better if I'm a little more beefy. Oh...lunch just arrived.

FreeSpirit

New York Minute

Harry got up
Dressed all in black
Went down to the station
And he never came back
They found his clothing
Scattered somewhere down the track
And he won't be down on Wall Street
in the morning

He had a home
The love of a girl
But men get lost sometimes
As years unfurl
One day he crossed some line
And he was too much in this world
But I guess it doesn't matter anymore

In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
Things can get pretty strange
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute

Lying here in the darkness
I hear the sirens wail
Somebody going to emergency
Somebody's going to jail
If you find somebody to love in this world
You better hang on tooth and nail
The wolf is always at the door

In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
Things can get a little strange
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute

And in these days
When darkness falls early
And people rush home
To the ones they love
You better take a fool's advice
And take care of your own
One day they're here;
Next day they're gone

I pulled my coat around my shoulders
And took a walk down through the park
The leaves were falling around me
The groaning city in the gathering dark
On some solitary rock
A desperate lover left his mark,
"Baby, I've changed. Please come back."

What the head makes cloudy
The heart makes very clear
The days were so much brighter
In the time when she was here
But I know there's somebody somewhere
Make these dark clouds disappear
Until that day, I have to believe
I believe, I believe

In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
You can get out of the rain
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute

The first train...

5.30am is when the first train runs by my neighbourhood. How do I know this? I'm sitting here writing this and the first train just rumbled by. I heard it.

Local TV should spend more time watching American TV. How the filming's done, how the actors communicate with one another. They shouldn't be thrown together with the blatant hope that some chemistry will develop between the actors because they're told to and paid to do so.

Who writes those scripts anyway?

By penning down my thoughts in this blog, I've been told that I'm attention seeking and egoistic. Well, yes. It's true. I am an egomaniac and I love the feeling of being showered with attention. Who doesn't? Hypocrites them I say.

My consistant badgering of Maine on her looks has made her self conscious. She hates it cause she can't tell the difference between when I'm making fun of her and when I'm serious. I suppose I may have myself to blame for that. I do feel that she has little or nothing to worry about though.

She claims that women obsess over their hair. I'd say that they fuss over it and she obsesses over it. It's true. Not once have I met her and she not say that her hair is crappy or ask me if her hair is perfect. I may be missing something but I think I have to remind myself to tell her that her hair is perfect (or not) as the first thing I say when I see her.

I now hear car alarms being disarmed from the carpark below. I guess people are beginning to get up and go to work/school or wherever they have to go at 5.45 in the morning.

One last thing. I write blogs because I like to write. I put it up on the web because it saves me space on my harddrives, my internet offers me unlimited access and it's already properly organised for me when I post here. I do look at my own writing from time to time and comment on it (silently). Everybody has an ego. The only difference is the size of the ego.

Sunrise sunrise...

I'm wide awake now that I've slept most of the afternoon away. I think I'm spending too much time infront of the computer. I might be mistaken for a geek (which I am soooo not!).

Went to NTUC TP and this nice ang moh lady gave way to me at the cashier cause I only had 3 items to pay for and she had a basketfull. Such consideration is hard to find in locals although I've met some that are like that.

SY looked fab today. She was wearing a cyan top with a yellow skirt mixed with light green/cyan colours. We almost had an arguement but I stopped her by saying that I wanted to keep the moment of admiration of the way she looked. That kinda worked.

The car engine's pinging a little so I decided to pump a full tank of very expensive V-Power. It's better now and according to Lawrence, it's due to the fact that the A'pexi's improved breathability by a lot. I suppose I'll have to monitor the engine closely for the next couple of days.

I'm still thinking of this morning. Watching the sunrise and the sky lightening up must have one of the best soothing and calming effects on me. Just plain admiring the beauty nature has to offer at the break of dawn gives me such a warm wonderful feeling inside.

I'll be meeting A on friday at ECP. She wants to sit by the beach and talk. It's fun provided I don't do it too often I guess. Once in a while, I do enjoy such moments. Maine says that she had a good day today and I agree. I had a great day too. This will probably be one of the better days that I've had and my worries seemed so far away. She burned me a CD of some really good oldies. I love those songs!

I like our friendship as it is now. It's like we're best buddies kinda feeling. I've never really had a best buddy of the opposite sex and I find it rather refreshing. I do, however, feel a tinge of jealousy when she starts talking about other guys and how great they are or what they've accomplished. I suppose it's that sense of insecurity and lack of self-confidence that's making me do that. It seems to happen to me a lot. I've seriously gotta work on that.

Maine looked really funny today trying to bite a mutton satay off it's stick. It's one of those moments that she looks really cute without trying.

I could savour that moment forever.

Messy me...

I have to admit that I'm a little messed up. I'm married but I live alone, I have a company but jobs are few and far in between and I love drinking canned soup. Went out for breakfast with Maine at 5am and spent about 4 hours at Yishun dam talking about relationships, music and how nice the morning sunrise is as it infiltrates the dark skies.

Blasting my car stereo at 6am in the morning is not my idea of a Yishun dam picnic though. It's usually done at between 11pm and 3am afterall. I feel much better after the carbon pills and what nots. At least I don't have to spend anymore time sitting in the toilet waiting for explosive wet outgassing to occur.

Having someone beside me when I'm feeling rock bottom helps. It gives me the feeling that someone at least is concerned about me. My place is a mess. Maybe I should pack it up a little. I might find stuff that I've been missing for some time.

Well, I'll go pack up some stuff. See if I can dig anything up.

Am I a blockhead?

I had a pretty weird conversation with a coursemate. It all started when I was talking about creative writing for MA11. I asked her to give me Nigel's email address so that I might ask him to grade me based on my blogs (I'm trying to flatter myself. Not that I think I'm a good writer but hey...I gotta boost my own miniscule ego if no one else does it for me, right?)

Anyway, I believe it started with me saying that I have low confidence and suddenly, out of the blue, she says that a couple of course-mates of mine have suddenly taken an interest with me, and my background. I mean, how interesting can my background get??? Oh well...I must be some blockhead and that's why they're interested.

How does one actually notice physical behaviour and/or read signs from it? I have no idea. A girl would have to be pretty direct with me in order to get me to notice something. It's not that I'm an egoistic blockhead but I am a blockhead when it comes to reading signs. Besides, I like things out in the open, and spoken. It's plain and simple and leaves little chance of a misunderstanding which could end up rather embarrasing for both parties later on.

Speaking of MA11. It feels that since the course has ended, everyone's gotten along with their own lives, moving on and drifting apart. I suppose some of us have gotten closer and tend to chat a little more than others might have on MSN. I do wonder if the others besides Elgen and Lindy have MSN accounts/software as well.

I've just return from the Glamour shot pre-event for a hotel staff dinner and dance. I can't imagine how thrifty Singaporeans can get. First question that I usually hear doing these pre-events are, "is it free?" or, "must pay or not ah? If must pay then don't want." Geez...come on! It's a Dinner & Dance and you're supposed to be dressed in your best for the night! Live a little! So what's with spending $2 or even $5 to get the shot done? They'd only do it if it were free (or prepaid by their companies).

I think I'll hang around online for a while longer...see if anything else interesting will happen today. It has been, afterall, a strange and a little weird day.

FreeSpirit

Broken traditions...

I have finally broken my tradition. And all it took was 3 blogs. I just read Maine's blog and something she said kinda stuck in my head. I brought about a totally different train of thought though. Not so much what she said but when I read it, it just brought this flood of thoughts about romance.

Romance is a warm feeling. A feeling of being loved and loving someone. Being with someone and sharing an intimate, non-sexual moment. Lust, for all its worth, is neither romantic or warm. But rather a cold feeling of desperation to release sexual tention. Love on the other hand, is the feeling of security, and a person feels most secure when he/she is held close to someone warm. However, guys being guys, the feeling of love tends to be overpowered by lust once the senstion of touch is felt.

I make a lousy boyfiend/husband. I am conceited, selfish, smoke like a chimney and I fart at odd times. Why someone would have put up with me for more than 15 years is as much as mystery to me as the Lochness Monster, Sasquach and Area 51. I can understand, however that after such a long period of time, being with the same person, that the fire of passion dies down. But I hate that feeling. No more intimacy, bye bye kisses and farewell "I love yous" in a phone conversation. It's just not the same as dating.

I've tried. God I've tried but when the other side doesn't reciprocate, after 5 years, it's about time I give up and face the facts that the relationship issn't gonna be what it was during the first 10 years.

I'm about to embark on a great business crusade. I hope I'll do well in it. In desperation, my loving, doting parents have decided to visit traditional Chinese fortune tellers. Surprising as it may seem, those that have been said to be reliable ones, even though they're miles apart and probably don't know each other say the same thing. 3 years is what it's gonna take for my business to take off. I hope I can last that long. My supplies are beginning to dwindle.

Nick thinks that I'm old-fashioned and live in the past. Well, that's probably because I'm afraid of what the future holds for me, as well as the fact that the past has been the best time I've had so far. I'd love to move away from this place. Start fresh. It's an easy way out but the other road's too much a killer. I can't take the easy way out though so I'd probably die taking the alternative route.

Finally caught up with sleep. Gosh it felt good getting my full 8 hours for once. I guess all I needed was a little sleep and to be able to live in my little dreamland for a few hours does miracles.

Time to cook brunch. Bacon and eggs it will be today.

Reminder: Do it with a shirt on!

FreeSpirit

I'll be damned...

I was about to break my two-day tradition by blogging before 11pm...but alas, it was not to be.

My make-shift ashtray is filled up to its brim. Yet, I am too lazy to go empty it. Says alot about me doesn't it?

K's been pretty docile the past couple of days. He even didn't bother to mention about my crappy shooting style today. Kinda weird if you ask me.

I realise that given time, I tend to rub people the wrong way. Not sure why. Perhaps, it's the reason why I've been called a "social butterfly" by Zender. He called me that when we were still in Perth. Boy I miss those good ol' carefree days.

Met Tang yesterday after not seeing him since I got back from Canada. Man he's put on a fair bit of weight. Not to mention the fact that he no longer keeps his hippie hairstyle to cover up those bulbous jaws of his.

Not putting down what I was thinking earlier today, I've completely forgotten what I wanted to think about. However, I remember telling myself yesterday to think about self-confidence and to blog it today. After 20 seconds of deliberation. I think I'll not put it down yet. Talk about lack of it!

What am I in the mood for right now? A little bourbon coke would be nice except that I won't stop at "a little" so it's a bad idea. I tend to live in a dreamworld. I'm a dreamy sort of person. Everyone wishes their life was perfect. Even those with seemingly perfect lives. It's ridiculous but once a person gets what they want, they tend not to want what they've got.

Am I a deep person? Depends on your definition of deep. I tend to think alot about what's gonna happen when I die and spend about 40 minutes before I fall asleep doing so. Will I be reincarnated? What's it gonna be like? Will I die and go to heaven? or will it be just darkness and a complete loss of consciousness. Many people find solace to such questions in the form of religion. Mind you, I'm not a particular religious person but I worry about it alot.

I'm impressed by people with faith. Faith for which they believe that when they die, whatever their religious teachings offer will be what happens then. But lets not go into a religious discussion. There'll be no end to it. Besides, wars have begun because of religious intolerability.

I'd start a war for someone I love. I've never watched Troy and I'm not much of an historian but from the trailers, I gathered that the war (with the trojan horse) was begun because of love. It's romantic. Fighting for your love but has anyone ever considered the fact that the sun does rise the next morning? or the fact that sex usually ends up as a totally unromantic, messy affair? I guess that's why most, if not all romantic novels fall into the "Fiction" catergory in a bookstore. Simply because it never happens as it is written.

I must be high on caffeine. My thoughts seem to be drifting from one place to another; one subject to another. It's quite a possibility that I suffer from ADD (or better known as Attention Deficit Disorder) I can't hold a thought for long. Am I the only one that this happens to?

I may be unique but this should not be a phenomenon unique only to me. I'm sure that there are other people out there whom are like me. Went to Starbucks for a coffee with GMH today. All we did was talk rots but I do like to hear her speak. She's eloquent, she's got spunk and she's articulate. Traits that are hard to find in this society. Or perhaps, I'm too engrossed in whatever I'm doing to notice those qualities in others...it's hard to say.

I hope that we can be lifelong friends. Someone special is worth keeping as a friend. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship by going any further. Much as I'd hate to admit, most of the time, a friendship that goes beyond, when the relationship ends, it has a tendency to break down and loose touch. I, for one, hate the idea of that happening so I'll just suffer in silence. I'd rather do so than to jeapordize any friendship I may have with that person. Afterall, it might be a passing phase, but I really doubt that that's what it is.

Well, I guess I've gone on long enough for today. Perhaps I'll remember to jot down my thoughts in preparation for my next blog. But then again, I might just give it a miss since I hardly ever carry a pen and paper around. One thing to note though is to remember to purchase an A'zone diary for someone. I suspect that the company might have since gone under due to the increase in online diaries but well, I'll give it a shot nonetheless.

FreeSpirit

What's in my head (for the moment)...part deux

1. Guilty pleasures
2. Impulsive buying
3. Reckless driving

What do they have in common?

My guess is, they tend leave the impression that one is irresponsible and/or an infantile egomaniac.

A person thinks that because he has a more powerful machine, he can stomp the rest of the road users into submission. Or was he just trying to impress the young lady riding shotgun? Hard to say. All things considered (especially the amount of weight my tub's carrying around), I did rather well at not submitting to his consistant tailgating.

My gripe of the day. And that was it.

Fast forward a day from my last blog...

TSOML...yet again

Am I too persistant? Naggy perhaps? No idea. But for fear of pissing someone off, I get nervous and freak out if that person doesn't answer the phone after I've called twice. Mobile phones are disgusting gadgets. It robs you of privacy (although one might argue that there's always the pwoer switch. But if you keep switching it off, what's stopping you from not having one in the first place?).

Freedom should be a right. Not a privilege. After all, I didn't ask to be born in this or any country. People who are lost tend to look for leadership. Those that can't be bothered, as long as they're not too inconvenienced by whatever leadership is in place, obviously have a good life going for them.

And why the hell bother? What I earn should be what I can keep. I pay for what I use, and no more. But nope. Society doesn't work that way. It's way too time consuming to calculate the amount of taxes paid that way and most would probably end up paying more.

I do enjoy a good TV programme. Sad to say, that there're hardly any nowadays BUT, I've read in the papers (for which I have little faith in), that there's a new series that's out there. How does one write an unbiased review of the programme if the employer also owns the station that's airing it? A pretty difficult task, especially in Singapore.

This tiny speck of land which we call home. Zap...back to the past. I was born on March 14, 1971 (am I really that old already?). I suppose, most of my childhood memories are fuzzy and in a chronological mess. However, I do remember incidents happening when I was pretty young. Or don't I? Photographs help relive certain memories. One of my earliest would be...the time when I was about three, and dad & mom brought my 2 sisters and I to Cameron Highlands. I remember it because:

1. I recently saw a photo taken while we were on the trip
2. I needed to pee urgently and it was about the first time I realised that I could actually control my bladder and;
3. The freakin' jumpsuit that mom made me wear was dead uncomfortable and kept running up the crack between my butt cheeks (oh yes, I was quite a chubby kid and had a pair of buns).

But apart from the fact that I remember those details, the rest of the trip is lost to me. Perhaps, hypnosis might help bring those memories back.

I suppose I'm writing this in case I forget about what I have in my mind at 2am in the morning. This getting old thing...it's really getting on my nerves.

Not being able to see someone that you have feelings for tends to feel like you're suffering from withdrawal symptoms. I get that uneasy feeling in my stomach. I tend to live for the moment since I don't know when exactly my short, lack-of-purpose life would end. That's pretty pessimistic don't you think? I'm having that uneasy feeling now. Thinking about someone special...and that's very distracting (especially when they ignore my phone calls).

Tomorrow (or later this morning), I'll be headed down to the Bug Eyes. Some pictures that have been taken of the place look good but some others really do no justice. I can't say that every photograph I've taken as a professional has ended up good, but I do believe that a large raio of them are actually passable (to me that is). I'm my worst photography critic. Perhaps it's because of the lack of self confidence.

Ah...self confidence. I think I'll talk a little more about that in my next entry. To sign off again, I'm gonna put into writing (which is almost equivelent to blood), something to get off my chest.

How can I develop feelings when I've already got them? Issn't it strange how the mind, body and soul plays tricks? It's sad. Not being able to see someone special has made me cranky, moody and someone a pain to be with. A short spoken word or two made up for some of that but the disappointment's still there. Well, tomorrow/today is the sabbeth day. I guess there was nothing created. That's probably why my creativity is on a low. I'll think about that too.

FreeSpirit

The Story of My Life...(more like what's in my head at the moment)

Lets not start with the usual popping outta momma but fast forward instead, to the present.

Here I am, sitting infront of my computer, at 11pm, contemplating what's so important about my life and what I can make of it. 

I'm a lazy person and a procrastinator by nature.  Is it normal?  Well, it depends, doesn't it?

I become lazy and procrastinate when I have to do things that I don't want to.  Otherwise, I suppose, you could call me a somewhat regular guy.  It's intesresting because "regular" is as beauty, in the eyes of the beholder but we tend to group ourselves socially.

I'm and introverted extrovert.  Sounds like rhetorical nonesense doesn't it?  Here, let me explain...

I love getting attention for what I am and what I do.  But I hate being in a crowd.  If at all possible, I'd probably be happy staying put at home all day, staring at my computer screen with someone I love in my arms. I love lots of people.  There's the usual family love, friendly love, and that someone (or two) special that just sticks in your mind and refuses to get out no matter how hard you try. Would I even want to try anyway? I have no idea; because I've never wanted to.

I enjoy people talking behind my back...good things that is; or even when someone envies me and talks behind my back. Afterall, what's behind my back should hopefully, stay there.  I don't think I'd like someone to idolise me.  Anyone can, if they wanted to.  Afterall, I did say that I was a kinda regular guy.

Are you still reading this?  Or have you moved on to some other more interesting website?

Well, good.  Looks like I've managed to keep your attention till here.  Don't worry, I'm not out to sell you anything or ask you to spend any money (of course, if you like what I read, a little donation to a pauper wouldn't hurt).

I'm pretty amazed at how some people can develop feelings easily.  I, unfortunately, happen to be one of those that requires a certain communication flair before I can get along with that person.  As quoted from Quintin Tarrentino's Pulp Fiction, "I hate uncomfortable silences". Could it be because I'm bad at talking?  I've no idea.  I've been told that I'm quite a conversationalist but to have a conversation, it requires two or more people doesn't it?  Or so I'm told.

I've been asking myself the same question over and over again. "Why am I here?"  Issn't it weird that everyone requires some sense of purpose before they feel that they deserve this pathetic life that they've been given?  I would love to do good.  Help the poor, the disabled and all but to be honest, I'm just too darned lazy to get off my boney ass to go do it.

Plus it's a commitment thing.  I don't have problems committing myself to something; the problem is, I tend to commit myself to anything and everything I like.  That sounds stupid but it's my nature or character or whatevery you want to call it.  If Sigmund Freud were alive today, I'm pretty sure he would find me an interesting subject.  Of course I'm not willing to submit myself to the humiliation of being a lab rat but, hey, if that's my purpose in life, who am I to argue with destiny?

Well, I guess this would be end of TSOML Part I.  It's short ain't it?  But then, I hate typing long draggy stuff.  But this I have to add...to get off my chest.

I've enjoyed myself tremendously the past week or so.  So much so that it feels sinful and I'm haunted by guilt.  It's a crappy feeling that I get whenever things go great.  I think I'm a pessimist by nature but expose an optimistic front.  Oh well.  The best feeling in the world is when you're able to spend time with someone special. Good quiet time and your worries are temporarily suspended.  You tend to think of the past and the memory of that person's face, expressions, voice and even scent are permanently engraved in your mind.  You get over it, yes but you never really forget the sensation of being with that person.

Well, I guess I've gone on long enough...time to remove myself from this world of words, into the world of reality.

FreeSpirit.