A promise to love myself

so i sit here now after my second bath in 12 hours and am thinking of how i can make my first step to change.
Well i have derived that i will do something everyday that makes me happy even if its a teeny weeny bit and thus loving myself.
Therefore, for today i opened and ate the Macadamia Fudge i bought from Australia and actually am happy that i've tasted what fudge is (since i've never tasted it before), it's this really sweet cube of sugar, condensed milk and all those sinfully gorgeous stuff like chocolate and in the heart of it all is a macadamia nut.
It made me happy to love myself today.

It shall not wither.

i plant the rose in my heart and you are withering it. - i wrote this last night and went to bed.

The rose that i have planted in my/your heart shall not wither. - i write it now. In stone.

Cars i did like to drive/own by 30.

Daihatsu's 600cc coopen with a retractable top for under 60k! still crazily expensive.

Fiat's vintage 500. Btw... the woman is floating and doesnt have a shadow... hmmm...

Suzuki's zippy little swift! Driven it. Little cramp tho and even worse, NO boot space aka Crumple zone if someone rear ends you, your back will take its place.

Yes... i know its a proton. what model? i dont really care. Do you? A drive, why not... as long as it doesn't kill me. It's to truly set the bench mark of how bad a car can be. Mind you, i am being a little harsh. But nuff' said.

The elegant gentlemans' car - Wisemann Roadster (Tho i doubt i will ever get the chance to drive or own it because they dont sell it here and i probably have to sell a kidney to get one) but my god... doesnt it just scream Fancy ballroom dancing and harken back to the days after the war.

The adorable Mini One.

VW's underdog - The Golf GTI

Audi's famous TT


The last of its kind the 2009 Mx-5



Audi's mid range sedan - A4

Saab's 2009 twin turbo 9.3

Nissan's 350Z with its flawed crossmember hindering boot space.



With all that said, i did still like an MX-5 please. A car without a soul *AHEM* (is what proto... lack *ahem* nothing) is just metal to me.

My offical latest fetish is Wine and gardening!!!! Muhahahah... i find that when i want to know about something i must go all out for it and find out everything there is to be sought out for that particular hobby or aspiration that i want to be/have or become. Jaisie pointed out once thati was that sort of person that would find out everything i could about something and then potentially get bored of it - even in life and even my partners. what she said did hit me like a rock to sand, the message stopped almost immediately but yet sunk in enough to cause an indentation upon the surface. Sigh and that is why i fear that life did get boring... wait. CORRECTION. life is never boring. I mean, i did get bored of life. Cant believe im even bored of the Australia trip already!!! Once i've seen it all, experienced it all - then what? must i be in a near death experience (touch wood) in order to truly live? I should take up a hobby that can never be fully fufilled like UFO watching or Counting the grains of sand upon ever beach known to man. i fear... i live in fear and so do many others. But sometimes i guess it takes courage to step forward out of it or to even grab somebody else's hand to move forward with him - jaisie in my case. she encourages me and spurs me on even when she is down. Like a little duracell bunny (sounds kinky, yes i know) she takes my hand and hops away even if her battery is slowly draining away she would spare some for me and that i honor and treasure, hold to love, embraced to love.

i was surfing the net and settling my documents for my flight to australia.... Casey came upstairs because my maid had already left for her flight back to her home country. Fair enough, i allowed her to stay in my room. after numerous accidental kicks to her face, body etc etc. she finally shifted positions. Snuggling down she - you see she likes electrical plugs so that she can sit and rest her head upon the plug - so she sat down and unintentionally stepped upon the main switch which leads to the CPU!!!!!! ARGH! screamed and shouted at her. but all she did was to give me this blur look. Bah...

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!

MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! in a few weeks time it will bloom!
it was 1am, i came back from Jaisie's place, Plumeria Plumeria Plumeria (scientific name for frangipani) kept repeating in my head. I scouted - plentiful amount of targets. But which would fit in my car...? i chose my target, I silently parked the car, got out sheathed my spade under my arm as i went in for the kill. I crouched and waited to pounce. Moments pass. Silence. i made my move! First stab into the base, second to the front. A quick yank and it was out free from its fortress. Floundering in silent displeasure, i laid my victim down upon the grass. Retrieved my weapon and hastily made it to the get away vehicle. Am in. i drove off with my victim sprawling upon the ground in my rear view mirror. After a nonchalent round around the estate, i proceeded for the retrieval. dimmed headlights i swooped in, in one unhurried move of precision i stopped the car, opened the back door, grabbed it by the neck and shoved it in. Door closes. I jump in and make my escape. It stands tall and mighty now with me - its new owner.

HAHAHAHA! but can you imagine the look on the owner's face when he wakes up. WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY TREE?!?!?! it was just here a moment ago! And to imagine i actually went with my sister to get black bamboo (which we did manage to get hold of in the end) and saw the pricing for frangipanis' it was like $800 for a well grown tree and a small one that i've got can easily go up to one blue note! eep! But im just so glad we've got black bamboo! So elegant :)

ORH MAAA GAWD.... Fred - 0 Bamboo - 1.
can you believe it, i dug and dug and dug for over an hour even after jaisie went to sleep i dug AND still didnt manage to get the bamboo out. At first i was having fun digging, i dug till i saw the base of the bamboo, oh not bad, they are actually unsteady, i hope they do come out soon. Therefore i deduced that by bending the canes from side to side would help - it didnt. i was harvesting 6 canes, in the end 3 broke! was so disheartened.... like dig for so long and then they broke (thus cant grow cos no leaves to photosynthesize) i dug till the three pronged spade was distorted like how some foodcourt forks are abuse, i pulled till my hands bled, i wrestled it till i had micro spilters in my arms and YET it refused to budge! Absolutely refuse to budge one bit!!! Man what a hardy plant it is. im gonna have a rematch tomorrow! hahahha...I wanna plant bamboo in my garden!!!! hopefully if i can find black bamboo (above) :)