Finally comes the day that my life long companion of 14 years since january 94', chinese new year, is finally gone. my heart feels the pinch, just a little, i've been preparing for this day. Maybe the reality of it all has not hit me. i've seen my sister cry but not my maid. to see both of them break down, sheltered from prying eyes is just.... sigh. im ok with banker going, its just the fact that my mom called the spca to come without even telling me or my sister! it all started when banker pissed on the carpetted staircase due to incontinence and my mom "joked" about putting him so sleep cos he did that. that was a few days back... even if she did it was such a horrid thought tt i was disturbed by it. i knew one day that banker had to be put down or die from fits but not such such sudden notice. So today was woken up by my sister to hear that the spca has arrived and i had no doubt about who called them and why. She could have just fucking told us from the start or given us the responsibility to call the spca, its not like she really cares for banker anyway. i know she wanted this to pass quickly and painlessly but frankly it has not and i will forever bear this grudge against my mom. she did it before to my previous dog, Baron and now to Banker?! the thinkings of some nutcase i reckon. Call the spca, fine im ok with it cos i want his suffering to end, but NOT to tell us that the spca is on its way? is just selfish. You knew it you tell us, not just sit on your bloody arse and ride it out. i had an arguement with my mom on saturday and basically it was about her wanting me to tell her where i was going and whether im coming home at night. ok fine i will... but now that this has happened what makes you think that i would? God, to even think that she joked and called me an animal because i refered to her incestant breathing down my neck as one that treats an animal or a pet, always under lock and leash. i got so pissed that i pinned her against e wall and said to her, "your jokes are never funny, they are hurtful". it is almost like she wanted to get back at me and the only way she could and with the most lethal effect was to get rid of banker, backing up her claim by "he's having fits, end his suffering" but to me it was more like, he peed on your carpet so your angry and decided to get rid of him by killing two birds with one stone. To get back at me and to get rid of him. But.... i shall not jump to conclusions now eh... ill never forgive her. maybe i did send her off to a nursing home or ask e doctors to pull e plug if she's in a coma. Hur hur... its a joke.
In Loving Memory
Jan 94' - Dec 10th 07'
