Friday, June 11, 2010
Monday, August 22, 2005
i hate myself for being so extremely vulnerable and helpless..
i hate myself for falling so easily when u tripped me.
i hate it. u're killing me.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Looks to my right....
looks to my right...
ahhh...i give up, both my left and right are siao pple, so i decided to be nice and join in! lols
alycia just can't stop rolling her eyes.
alycia seriously thought that she has enuff
pamela has turned into liang popo and i'm laughing my ass off
*stuck out tongues*
After so many shots...we are all tired... as u can see,except for pamela, the super ego
turning mischievious~~
I was so hungry i wanna eat her hands! And i think my mouthis big enuff to stuff her whole fist in
Muahahaha... now my turn! It's time for revenge!
Ouchs! Everyone is coming after me!
oops... i think i've just choked alycia... but she still looked so happyand satisfied being choked by me=X
haha... wad the hell are we doing man~
cannot take it liao... lol...laugh until wanna peng liao
bimbos in the making
haha... i look bad in this pic.. but i like it a lot cos i think evon is super cute in here, and i never fail to laugh whenever i see it!
ok... pamela teo is going crazy frm taking pics alr...
Haha...everyone is so acbu here! bth... -.-'
2 stupid pouting flowers
Hands in hands, we work to make the world a better place... wahahahahahahaha *faints*
Haha...wait lah, i'm nt ready lahhhh -.-'
Alycia is daydreaming : "what the hell is stupid pt doing... she must be saluting me cos she admires me"
Haha... SMUG faces... can't help it... we are too smug
Alycia's laughing so happily cos she's only to happy to see me XD
Evon caught on camera (after finish digging into her mouth) wahahah =X
Guilty look of evon after finding out that her disgraceful shot has been snapped!
Haha, the 2 presidents unite after long!
They all said pamela looks more matured... lol, do i look like her daughter when i'm beside her ?=X
Hehe... alycia and i acting cute
The 4 of us creating a lot of noise in cartel... look at all our cameras!
I dunno wad the hell is tht idiot hiding behind the menu for! Hahaha...i guess i'm gonna start feeling stress again... gdit assignment 4 is coming up, wad's worse is that i am in a grp of 3....which means more work, i dunno if this is wad i really want or if this unnecessary hard work is something i stupidly asked for. but somehw, hafing to do more work should be better than doing work wif pple whom u can't stand or work wif rite? I hope i'm rite this time... and i really pray that i will not fight wif laogong... i dun want the efforts i've put in to establish our frenship to go down the drain just becos of one stupid dumb project... somehow, i'm quite disappointed in someone frm my clique... maybe i'm not even qualified to sae that. hmm... i wanna put in my100% in this upcoming assignment... i noe that if i combine force wif laogong, we shd be able to produce work that may be a little beyond quality work... hmm.. or am i being too confident of ourselves? yeah, i think i better not have too high expectations, i dun wanna sink into depression or wadever... esp not during the period when we haf this assignment to rush. Everyone in my grp is very impt nw, we must be in tip top condition~! Jiayou~! We can do it if we want to!
Aniwae, went out wif evon, pamela and alycia on tues... wahahaha, it was so fun... we went cartel to eat and we were making so much noise! Being the zi lian 4, all of us brought camera~! So we were taking pics until SIAO! My camera ALONE is being used to take 128 pictures... yeah, u can definitely imagine how many pics we took in total... we're mad~ but tht's us. We went took neoprints, and according to pamela, that looks like studio shots, quite true lah, we all look quite good in it~ Lol... now whenever i look at the pics we took, i'll always laugh! It's so funny and hilarious... will post a few up, meanwhile... JIAYOU everyone! Read more...
Monday, August 15, 2005
FREAKING SHIT
I just fought with my mother...she is sometimes so freaking unreasonable, and i really hate it when she rants on and on and on... it's not as if my life isn't deprived enuff~! OMG! I AM SO FUCKING PISSED NOW THT I RECALL THE FIGHT~SHE SAID I SHDN'T GO OUT TOMOLO COS IT'S A SCHOOL DAE, SCH DAE IS MEANT TO STAY AT HOME AND STUDY! FREAKING SHIT LAH... I GO OUT ONLY WHEN DAY SHE GOT SO MUCH TO SAY, AND WAD ABOUT THE TIME WHEN I'VE STAYED UP SO LATE, STAYED UP THRU THE NITE JUST TO GET MY BLODDY WORK DONE? WHERE WAS THE COMPLIMENTS I DESERVED? SHE SAID I SHD ONLY GO OUT DURING THE WKENDS, BUT THE PROB IS I HATE GOING OUT DURING WEEKENDS, IT'S SO FREAKING CROWDED, AND IT'S SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE. WHY IS IT THAT SHE CAN'T FUCKIN UNDERSTAND THAT, IF SHE CAN GIVE ME ENUFF TO SPEND, I GOT NOTHING TO SAE, NOT IT'S ONLY 50, NOT SAY I HAVE EXTRA CASH. TRY TO UNDERSTAND MUM! I GOT A LIFE, STOP POUTING OR RANTING WHENEVER I GO OUT. I HAVE A BLOODY FREAKING LIFE TO LEAD. DAMMIT.
AHHHHHHHHHH..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM GOING NUTS. TO HELL WITH WAD SHE SAID , I AM GOING OUT TOMOLO ANIWAE, WHO CARES? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HER WORST AND MOST ROTTEN DAUGHTER ANIWAE.
yeah...why is it that i'm so concerned and so affected by all she does ?
becos she's my mother, and i love my mother
THIS IS FREAKING SHIT.
my god... time is passing by so freaking quickly, before i know it or get to enjoy, before i know it or get to cherish, everything is over by then. there's no turning back.. there nv was... actuallly i'm kinda worked up now....pissed and upset by the thing called time... why is it that time used to go by so much more slower back then when u didn't noe how to appreciate? and just when u learn to cherish it, it's flying pass as if it's nobody's business and there's nothing u can do to prevent that from happening.
wedding crashers wif lamu and ahbu was great... i thot i wld be angry wif them for being so late, but the thot of meeting them again eased away all the anger there is... i was so happy to meet them... i miss them so much... they sorta "brought me up", and i noe they'll always be a mentor.
tjb has not slept for 28 hrs alr. her life is so deprived i swear... she cldn't even fulfil her most basic requirements, slp. i can't believe that i can actually do something straight into the nite and thru the break of dawn, and not even resting at all, chiong to sch. is this wad we all called life ? i am hanging on now cos i haf someone out there to motivate me... but i dun wanna depend on tht motivation... i'm so afraid that history will repeat itself, although i felt that it's already beginning to.I'm struggling to hold back, i'm constantly reminding myself. I dun wanna see myself sinking deeper and deeper again, i wanna do something for myself but not for anibody. Will i hang on long enuff...to get thru it ?
i realised that i'm not the only unhappy soul out here... i've been reading a few blogs, seems like everyone's life is in a mess, is turning topsy turvy. somehw i noe wif the existence of that person, i'll temporary be quite alrite. is it really true that as a person grows older, she'll relishes less things and feel more lost than ever ? if that's the case, i rather i put a stop to my life, it's not as if life is anymore fantastic now, and if it gets any worse, can u imagine? cos i can't.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
oh just one last thing to sae.. pple can changeeee so fast...
todae when i went wif laogong to passup our crs, we saw a topic "shd same sex marriages be allowed?" den laogong and i had a discussion, and we both had different opinions, and maybe cos i'm frm a gal sch, i said it shd be allowed... afterall, everyone was borned differently... wanqing asked if i haf ever liked any gals before since she heard tht being frm a gal sch shd at least like at least someone of the same sex once...
den todae on my wae home, i saw a fren, better dun disclose her name here... she was once a les... and guess wad... todae i saw her kissing a guy, which shd be her boyfriend... i was like OMG... she changed so fast! I thot she was deeply in luv wif tht gal in sch... and less than a yr after going to jc, she got herself a boyfriend~! lol... oh well...guess tht when in a all same sex sch, u yearn for someone to erm... care for u and be there for u...den mixed feeling arises~ i guess this is how it happens... lol...oh wells... wadever it is... i got no further comments~! lol ;)
happy happy
heheh... i'm back...finally decided to do some blogging... hmms... actually i keep thinking if i shd close down this blog... still contemplating...
aniwaes, lots haf happened...everydae everytime, there's something happening every dae... i got a lot of things to be completed... but todae is a good dae, tjb is in a good mood...so i shall not complain~! haha... i got oc to complete, draw to do and gdit to try to complete too~!
had a long dae in sch todae, class was quite shittish in the morning, cos the first lesson was dbm, which sucks... and to make things worse, stupid quek said i kept toking... which was UNTRUE. freaking shit lah... always sae i tok, i mean not tht i didn't tok at all, but it gets really irritating when she scolds me for asking my frens questions on the things she teaches. it's precisely cos she's such a mediocre tht i haf to ask my frens wad's going on. and obviously because her lessons are so darn boring, i gotta find entertainment to keep myself awake rite... i admit i do tok in cls at times... but it's not as if i was toking at the top of my voice or something rite...but todae i swear i wasn't really toking a lot... and she was still pointing her finger at me... hw shit is tht... hehe... luckily got ahma and laogong to calm me down.
lunch was terrible, pizza hut suddenly tasted terrible... haiz... and i was damn full... so different from the usual me...
after lunch was gdit... gdit was everything i need to brighten up this stupid dae of mine~ i got back my first assignment in poly... and my first gdit assignment... hehehe... i'm head over heels~! i got an A~! and i am also in the top 20s~! Lalala... together wif ahma and laogong~! Whoots... we rawk! pamela teo~! just in case u're reading this... haha, gotta give ur credit too lah... lol.. thanks for giving me the copyright for ur sadako pics~! Hahaha... u rawk too!
ok lah... better get back to work liao, gonna do my draw, den oc project, den gdit~! lalalala... tjb...for the time being... is a happy happy gal... hees
Thursday, July 21, 2005
i am a freaking tyrant
I am so freaking pissed now... why is it that everything must be thrown to me to decide... and if any steps i take goes wrong... den someone can just freaking congratulate me... wah lau, we're a freaking group and they want me to freaking decide on everything..i think it's so freaking selfish ?? Cos this is my part that i'll be presenting, and if i screw up my part, den thanks, i'll so bloody fail the freaking presentation. fine lor, if this is how u wanna do it, fine... be it this wae. freaking hell.
Read more...Thursday, July 07, 2005
thanks pam
Everyone is working so hard, strving for the fullest. Yet i am doing nothing... i'm unsure of what to do. Sometimes what you think and what you can do or wanna do is so different. U can nv push urself to achieve wad u think u wanna achieve. Or it's simply just me, not willing to push myself. Obviously, that's the case, i'm forever enjoying life.
Why is it that i forever gotta think i'm so smart when i'm darn rite stupid. Why is it that everytime i've fallen i can nv pick myself up. Why is it that everytime when i fell i will nv learn my lesson. Why ? Nobody's gonna suffer but myself in the end.
I'm so gonna die in poly. Forever slpping in class. No revision done at home to. Skills not there, knowledge not there. Everything tht's essential is not there. So? Die lah. Eileen once told me, luck will be used up, and i think my time's up. I must start pushing myself.. starting this weekend. Push myself to the extreme limit. There's too many pple out there that i dun wish to disappoint. Maybe i'm afraid of disappointing myselft too... but deep down within i know that's not the reason why i will want to push myself that hard. I'm a rotten person who can simply just slack there and await death, rot my life awae. My source of motivation has just been back, and besides, i got my mummy to satisfy. I always hear pple telling me, strive for no one but urself, but i nv am able to do tht and i dunno y... i'm forever only working for pple...maybe cos i dun love myself enuff to do that.
During MORG tutorial todae...i so nearly wanna die... he's going so fast and everyone's not knowing everything. I was so frustrated. I dun understand the software, i dun understand the system. I'm so dying.
I'm in such a bad mood now, cos i feel so darn right stupid. I can't stand the feeling of being stupid, but yet i am so stupid. I need a break. Actually i've been breaking all along. Sometimes i wish that i haf no brain. SO that i dun haf to think.So that i wun think so much. SO tht i wun think i'm stupid.
Pamela just made me cry. I'm glad i still haf my frens. I miss IJ. I thankful for her presence. When i'm in a bad mood she touched my heart. At least nw i know and am for sure she'll be there when i need someone to fall back on. Thanks so much pam~ thanks.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Just suddenly decided to update... or shd i sae i haf an urge to update
Saw my tagboard just now...made me miss IJ so much again.
Was at friendster earlier on...seems like i've lost contact with a few of my frens.
Yeah that always happen to me... guess i'm the one at fault...
Didn't put much effort to keep everything going.
Sometimes there's so much thing i wanna do, not just keeping in contact.
So many more things i wanna do...but i can't.
What i CAN do is so very limited...and the thoughts saddens me.
Haha... guess i'm feeling kinda emotional now, but i'm nt in a bad mood or anything.
Just emotional i guess, cos all of a sudden, i miss everyone so much.
I wanna do something bout it, but sometimes i think i'm so egoistic and prideful.
Haha... i'm so shit lah... aniwae, dun haf much time to blog...came here to say a few words
to a few of my very much missed frens.
I hope they don't blame me... but just wanna let u all know tht i've nv ever forgotten all of u.
Tiff: Hey gal... i haven't forgotten all bout u...in fact i think this is quite a miracle...cos u've only just crossed my mind a moment ago and there i see ur msg on the tag... how's everything going ? Did u change ur no?Hmm...shd we like go out one dae? I dunno when was the last time i even went out with u... i think i was like my bdae last last yr...
Yipin: Hey hw are ya in aust? Still adapting well to it and coping along fine ? By the looks of all ur photos of ur environment on ur blog, i dun think u shd haf much of a trouble ? Haha... when u do come back to sg...do do do tell me k~ We didn't get to meet on our last outing... and yeah, although u only haf like 21 days of hols, do still come back to sg ok~ cos we all miss u so.
Cecilia: Although i noe u wldn't be reading this, i just need to let u noe that i've nv forgotten u and i nv will...cos u're the one who made me partially who i am todae. Haha... brother i miss u... haha, and guess wad? U're still my one and only brother~! I haf no other brothers~! Haha... man... i miss u... i haven't even like spoken to u for the longest period of time liao... will find time to give u a ring sometime soon. I promise.
Pamela: Haha.. i dunno if u still come here anymore of haf u probably gave up coming here... lol.. but if u do, just wanna tell u i miss u too and so sorry for not being able to go watch initial d wif u... terribly sorry... eh soon we'll go out k.. do all the crazy and stupid stuff that we always do. Watch movie, sing kbox, be tourist, take neoprints... anything u wanna do i'll go do with u k~ yeah even if it means watching opera... erm provided it's free... lol, but i doubt u even need anyone else besides ur opera khakis to watch opera with u liao~ haha ;)
Collen: Hey there, thanks for always dropping by here to leave a msg even though i seldom reply or update my blog. Haha, it means a lot.. thanks man~
Edrea: Haha, i also dunno if u still come here esp nw that u haf so many new frens in JC...which prob means u still haf so many blogs to visits. But in case u still drop by, just wanna u to noe that i miss u too... even though u may haf forgotten me. Haha.
Alycia: U probably wldn't stumble along here cos u nv did... but well, just wanna noe hw are u doing...u nv seem to reply my msg or anything... or u that busy or haf u changed ur hp no. w/o telling me or are u simply not interested in having me as ur fren anymore ? Haha... oh well... i'll be waiting for ur call or msg or wadever~ haha.
That's all for now... so yeah... too tired to think of anything nw... but kinda felt better...cos all these were tugging at my heartstings just nw... i wanna let all my frens noe tht i haven't forgotten them~! Really... =(
Monday, June 27, 2005
short update
i finally decided to do something to this blog
but this post is not gonna be long,
cos i'm rushing off to slp.
Poly life is fun.
But
It has deprived me of slp.
Terribly.
So Yep.
This post is just to let all u guys noe that
THIS BLOG IS STILL ALIVE.
Only that there'll be less update.,
More complains.
I'm sorry.
I'll try to make PLESANT complains. Ahahas..
Alritey, running to catch my slp~
Take care all u peeps out there.
I promise i'll be back.
Soon.
A promise is a promise.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Happy mother's day
Fri: GUESS WAD?! I BROKE THE 2ND THING IN 1 WEEK! MY MOTHER'S BIG CHINA 'ANTIQUE' VASE! OMG~ I dun understand hw can i be so lucky and so clumsy and so better fingers and shit... ahaha...all pamela's and fc's fault... if pamela told me she'll be late, i wldn't haf to rush was i was doing and i wldn't haf broke it, and if fc wasn't coming, i wldn't haf vaccummed the floor... yes, the idiot, me, broke the stupid vase while vaccuming the floor... lol, but just kidding lah, it's totally unrelated to them. Luckily my parent's nt in SG, otherwise i'm gonna haf a hell outta it again... haiz... i broke the vase and the vase broke me... cos i went out to buy a replacement vase, in the event of hoping tht my mother wldn't find out tht i've broken the vase... haha... and guess wad... till nw, she really hasn't noticed it *oh yay* Haha... yeah, and tht darn vase caused me like wad?! $85 bucks... TERRIBLE... nw u noe why i said the vase broke me... but guess wad again, when i bought back the vase den i realised hw different it looked frm the original one... haiz... and shd i haf known, i'll just buy those cheap ones i saw earlier at a shop... Haha... Aniwae, i also went to buy a new comp tht dae.. haha, thanks to FC~ haha, thanks for taking so much trouble to help me find the vase, bring it back to my hse, den go back to sim lim and collect the comp, set up the comp, go back home to take ur xp cd and come back again to finish setting up my comp... haha, really thanks a lot... my comp rawks now... hahs~ it's so damn shiok to haf my own comp, no more conflicts~ ah shiok... i haf everything i needed nw, every electronic gadget i wanted i haf it nw... i haf my mp3 player, i haf video cam, i haf digital camp, i haf my portable dvd player and i haf my own comp~ ahhhh hw shiok is this man... oohhhhh hahaha.... -.-' ignore me =P
Todae: Met up wif the gals again; bro and cecilia~ Yipin was supposed to come but cldn't make it last min... so in the end only 3 of us. Both of them were late again and i was the earliest~! Waited for them again... haiz........... den we went to coffee club at wisma, everything was self svc and i hated tht.... haha...we sat there for bout 2 hr+ chatting... haha... it's been long man... den after tht just roamed bout orchard lor... walked down to cine... actually wanted to play arcade, but the arcade sucked. We went into the more than words shop... and ed and i went crazy...we bought stickers...cos we thinking of starting to collect stickers again...crazy pple we are...den after tht, we went down to buy bubbletea lor...but i didn't buy any...cos quite bloated...so didn't buy any. Cecilia left first cos she gotta go back for mother's day dinner... ed and i cont walking ard...went hmv and stayed there for quite sometime... listened to Jolin cd...and i thot it was really quite gd...hmmmmm....too bad, no money nw... maybe if by sch start i still haven't get sick of her song, i'll buy... Haha...after tht headed home but went out again wif my family again for mother's day dinner too...brought my mother to marina south for the bbq steamboat... we(my sisters) quite enjoyed it lah, but as for my mother, it was too hot to really be able to enjoy... and we went to a nt so gd store... pls ok... nxt time dun go chong pang...it sucks...the food variety is really limited until cannot be anymore limited... yeah... so waste money...somemore more exp den other stores tht offers better food and more varieties too... yep... after dinner, went to play arcade wif my da jie while the rest of the family watched on.,.. haha... it was good... didn't spend tht much too...my game skills are improving~ Haha... ok lah... tht's all for nw...i'm going to slp soon liao... so yep...
Oh yeah one last thing before i go... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY~! I lurve my mama...~! I love all my mothers~! But my real mother the most of cos~! Haha... *Muacks*