No time.. no mood.. nothing to write.. after prelims den blog.. now study first.. remind me to study.. thx.. join my forum... plz.. we need ppl.. or else the forum will be dead..
http://s13.invisionfree.com/fren4everremember to register first.. so tat u can view all the contents.. thx.. big thx..
pandaboo penned at 8/28/2005 11:13:00 pm
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think free.live free
Thursday, August 18, 2005
today wanted to study... but den my fren come my hse.. but still manage to study my phy again.. but so sry i cant relpy hy and help anh all these.. cuz i really busy and i am nt using the comp.. but i got sa kc's conver..
he said tat he cant understand y i wan retake.. he say i am doing nth abt it.. but do u ever care to ask wad i doing first before u say tat? i was concentrating on my physics....and i yah i noe.. decision i make can destiny my whole life...i am nt regreting.. or at least YET...i choose my path.. and this is wad i wan.. i believe tat wif interest, i can do it well..
i know u all mean well.. but den.. a fren is different frm a teacher and a VP... and thgs said to a fren is different frm saying to a teacher or VP.. all of u say the same thg.. same as my parents.. no one gav me some encouraging comments.. i know also... except some my other frens say tat i must work hard to get it.. but frm my parents.. teachers.. even frens.. say tat i will NEVER get the grade.. now i am hearing the 'speech' frm my father.. saying the same old thg.. his mindset is tat.. "DONT OFFEND THE SCHOOL".. wtf? wanting to retake will offend the sch? he say if i dun offend.. the VP will help me by giving me tuition.. giving me better grades for prelims.. giving me more time for my other subject.. wtf?! how can exams like tat unfair? giving me better grades? bring up the grade?! frm C6 can change to B3?! wah lau.. wad kind of thg is this?! and by giving me tuition and help me?! when the hell VP says tat? she dun even hav time to sit down and slowly tok to ask!!! den giving me more time? change the chinese periods to those periods i wan?! omg?! he thinks he can really control the sch.. dun lame lah! i STRONGLY DISAGREE wif him.. i wanted to tok back.. but i noe if i say somethg like "VP where got like tat say...".. he will sure scold me and say "HAV! I SAY HAV MEANS HAV... u dun listen to me.. u will die.. sure die one.. " wah lau... i am nt convinced..
he dunno how sch is conducted also.. juz like i dropped bio.. wad we do during bio lessons? got chased out by the teacher and go other place to do own stuff.. or do phy even though we hav no qns.. den now becuz of these reasons.. he asked me to tell VP tat i dowan retake.. wah lau?! frankly speaking.. HAV HE EVER THOUGHT ABT HOW I FEEL?! he dunno how the results are calculated.. he dunno how we study.. he dunno when is my exam.. he dunno everythg.. i bet he dun even noe wad i get for chinese until VP told him today.. i am really disappointed.. i hav nth else to say.. are they being realistic? i think they contradict themselves.. how i wish i can record the conversation between him and me.. erm.. i mean the 'speech' by him.. but its rude.. i cant do tat.. but i'm sure teck hua noe quite well who my parents are.. ok.. everythg settle.. i dowan to say.. i dun care.. i will juz study....
pandaboo penned at 8/18/2005 06:26:00 pm
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think free.live free
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Rememeber to rest your eyes after every paragraph by looking far away.Especially those using LCD monitors... Don't spoil your own eyes. My text is small and background is dark.. so ur eyes may hurt when reading. My post is long :Dread biondi's post.. quite true...
http://spaces.msn.com/members/biondi/Blog/cns!1psUorbsFwe5H7Tuyh4z8Ezw!412.entryin reply to his post.. i feel tat wad he say is quite true.. but i think tat chinese is a better language than english.. english may seems to be easy but it is quite difficult.. in fact.. all languages are difficult.. it is also very difficult to master.. the basic of english is quite simple but to get to a standard range.. it is quite difficult in my opinion.. and i prefer chinese than english nt juz becuz tat i'm a chinese.. but i agree wif chinese tradition and wordings like poems and idioms more.. english hav a lot thgs tat contradict itself also.. i am not saying chinese dun hav.. but den english seems to hav more.. and it's also quite difficult to use different words to form a correct sentence.. chinese, in this case, seems to be easier..
and if one is able to master chinese.. it shows really how great the person is.. but no one can really master a language.. language can be improved when one use it for long and speak frequently.. even a 70 years old china man will also be learn more thgs.. yah.. i noe language is nt tat easy.. but i still decided to retake chinese o lvl exam.. language had change a lot since the olden days.. chinese have been simplified alot.. and wad students hav to do now is to memorise vocabs and the uses of the vocabs and some nice phrase for paper 1.. like tat.. A1 is somehow guarenteed.. haha.. tats y there is so many ppl getting A1 and 2 even though they dont speak well or write very well.. i feel tat this is quite stupid lo.. MOE hav this kind of examination where everyone juz hav to memorise.. memorise it and A1 and A2 is so easy to get liao.. i feel tat the MOE like tat only concentrate on the syllabus and teach wads in the textbook only.. like became learning deadly or blindly... wads the use like tat? all u need is juz memory work.. no wonder sg students is losing out... cuz everyone is taking the same subjects same exams.. talent cannot be noticed and developed further.. other countries hav lots of creative minds and talent becuz they hav a very different system... some ppl learn scoccer as young as 7 years old and the country is already helping him to improve on his skills and den.. win awards for the country... but in sg.. we muz hav 10 years of education.. standard education of eng MT maths sci all these.. den how to hav time for other thgs? and for those talents.. and they wanted to pursue their interest.. it will be a very very difficult task..
ok.. i was saying i retaking chinese.. hmm.. reasons for me to retake chinese.. firstly.. of course hope to get a better grade.. i wanted to count chinese in my L1R5 and my aim was A1!! but i got B3... quite disappointed.. i wanted to count chinese in as i hav no confidence in other subjects.. i consider chinese as one of my top subjects liao.. and i see chinese more important than any other sub except english.. cuz english u dun like u also muz learn.. english is needed almost everywhere.. no choice.. so... this 2 language is my top piority... i hav a mindset tat i am a chinese and i respect chinese and i expect myself to get a gd grade for chinese... i noe i am stubborn.. but this seems to be my set of 'principles'...so.. i am quite determined to retake chinese.. at least i try to get a better grade... another reason is also becuz i am nt satisfied wif my paper 1.. i know i did not do well for paper 1 section B.. cuz i hav no time to complete as i nv manage my time well.. it was my first paper tat time... nervous mah...so i dowan myself to regret for life abt this if i nv retake... if it happens tat i nv get a better grade.. nvm.. i wont regret retaking.. take it as an attempt to keep chinese in my mind.. to renew my chinese.. and improve my chinese.. if u all wan laugh.. go on.. and like wad kc say.. u all wan look down on me.. look down! i dun care...but i will admire myself for the courage to take again.. lol.. but wadever it is.. i am going to retake...
i dun care wad kc say.. say my opnions are wrong.. first time heard tat opinions hav right and wrong.. den he change his meaning.. say tat consequences are wrong.. omg.. i hav nth to say.. say until my consequence will be very bad.. y dont u think on the better side? like i get a gd grade..and it nv affect my other subject's grade.. isnt tat great? yes.. be more realistic.. but i think think think.. chinese.. not much to study also.. juz another revision of the vocabs and the skills to write a gd compo (u all may think i too simple minded).. further more.. i dropped bio.. i shld be able to manage.. u all may think tat i can spend this time on other subjects.. but to improve a subject frm an E8 to B3 is very very difficult.. like a maths.. i can i say i dun even noe the basics.. yes.. my e maths foundation may be gd.. but i find tat e maths and a maths is very different in the way the problems are being solved.. a maths require more thinking and manupilation... it is nt easy for me to master tat.. yes.. i can improve if i hav the time.. but nt much..
u all may say.. i jump frm E8 to C5 is 3 grades jump and its very gd.. but consider.. will i include this C5 in L1R5 or the B3 for chinese? tat means i lik waste my time on a maths to improve but in the end nt counted.. yah.. u can say i can improve my other sub like phy and chem tat i am weak in.. however, i believe i can do better for both of them and obtain at least a B3.. better still.. an A for both. firstly.. dun think i cant.. kc say i muz believe in myself to think tat i can achieve it (tat day when i told him i going malaysia study).. den another day.. he wans me to be realistic and think tat i cannot make it (tat day tat i insist tat i wan to retake).. wah lau.. contradiction? same as my parents.. haiz.. den say this and tat... kc den say tat if i think chinese is more imp den other subjects.. den go retake.. and of course i answer.. yah.. chinese is always my top piority subject.. den he giv me his shit face and say i muz change my mindset.. -.-" .. tat was wad i think... my opinion and how i rank chinese.. now u wan me change mindset to? forget abt chinese and concentrate on other sub? its like.. i love to drink milo and now becuz the milo will make my teeth abit yellow so i dun drink milo liao? this mindset is built into myself liao.. and i wont change my mindset juz becuz chi will affect my other sub.. i dunno how to exlpain it well.. but i find wad kc say is abit ridiculous..dun get offended.. but put urself in my position.. yah.. u can say tat "u are so stubborn and u dunno how to think.. " i rememeber u said tat... say i am stubborn in this way.. but i use all the concepts u all say! yah.. u can say i dunno how to apply them.. but this is the way i think...mayb i juz cant explain it clearly and i am nt persuasive or influential or effective or wad in wad i say...
like u expect urself to get very gd result for a certain subject since young.. mayb.. maths.. but den u gt a B3 instead of an A1.. u knew u could do it and u knew u nv did well is becuz... lets say u got stomachache in paper 2 and u din manage to finish it.. and lose quite alot marks.. u knew tat wif those marks.. u sure can score better.. will u wan to retake if u hav the chance? i dunno abt u.. mayb u see it another way or u will say this case and another is different.. dunno y.. ur views always change one lah.. for me i will retake.. dun waste this gd chance.. its like a chance for u to do better... u might say tat it will affect other sub.. i dun see how other sub can be affected in any way leh.. its quite normal like in most exams.. also like during midyear tat time.. i dunno lah.. but i juz think tat i can do it and i must do it.... my dream since i was in pri sch was to make sure i get gd grades for chinese and maths in big exams.. i know i nv did well in all our sch's exams and quite absurd/unbelievable tat now i expect an A.. mayb its quite impossible.. but it is my dream.. really.. it is my dream.. and i will achieve this dream.
pandaboo penned at 8/17/2005 05:07:00 pm
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think free.live free
haiz... haiz... u all shld noe wad i will say le bah.. i am sad.. disappointed wif myself.. english oral juz ended.. juz came home.. haiz.. passage was quite ok but i'm very nervous and tend to skip words and read them wrongly.. i see the marking scheme, i may get marks of 4-8 / 12... i hope i can pass.. and i think i can pass..
next is the picture.. i prepared quite well..and trying to say as much thgs i can.. but i took quite a long time to phrase it into sentences.. jonas took more than 10mins.. and i sat in the middle chair and waited.. heart beat rate increases... and finally.. when come to the picture part.. she asked a qn "wad to u think this event is.." somethg like tat.. den somehow all my ideas all messed up.. den i replied the qn saying tat it was a cycling competition or a race.. den suddenly i dunno how to continue liao.. den den.. i try add in my ideas abit abit.. den very short and messy.. words anyhow use.. den i waited for another prompt.. den she asked.. "wad u think will happen in a few mins time.." den i say the race will start all these.. and the person will win.. den.. ohya.. before tat.. she asked "wad do u think the man at the extreme left will think".. den i say abit abit only.. den go to conversation part liao..
they asked wad race i took part in.. omg.. this qn same as last year one.. i read before but i nv care to think abt it.. sian! den i think think awhile den say i participated in 2 amazing race recently.. one of them is the NPCC one.. den the male teacher noe leh! den he suddenly say "organised by monk's hill?" .. den i was shocked tat he know lo.. den i like nth to say liao.. den say we go around the country to look for.. for... den i suddenly mental block.. he helped and said "looking for clues?" den i say "yah.. clues and checkpoints".. heng i remember the word...den he say his students called him to ask qn.. den he continue to ask me qn "do u think u r very competative in this race?" .. den i say no.. den i suddenly cant think of the word "competes" or wadsoever lah.. den i say other word den he correct me.. omg.. i am so dead.. haiz...!!! den like nth better to say.. den next qn.. asked abt the olympics for the disabled.. ohno.. i got nth to say.. den i like say its a gd thg like tat.. very short.. den he say thank you... nv smile leh.. die.. arghh!! i am so worried!! i hope i can pass this oral.. and in fact.. i MUST pass the whole english paper.. Good luck to everyone also!
pandaboo penned at 8/17/2005 04:38:00 pm
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think free.live free
Finally got home after a long day. quite a boring day.. juz now in the afternoon hav a phy test..and i think i wont do well for tat test even though i studied.. so difficult or i can say tat the qn is confusing.. nt so clear type.. den again.. its those old old qn wif those old old fonts which i hate alot.. haha.. tats the reason y i hate to study frm notes.. i dun memorise well.. but den textbook dun teach everythg.. tats my weakness.. haiz..
den after tat i went for npcc.. we hav our passing out parade today.. as usual... very disappointed.. their marching suxs.. not tat i very gd.. but.. dunno lah.. they like nv gone thru training like tat.. den even the overall in-charge also suxs.. keep giving wrong command.. anyhow sia.. den they still think so highly of him.. say he got potential.. his marching also got prob ar.. dunno how he passed.. i think mrs mohan really too kind liao...den.. we proceed to hav a performance by the cadets.. it was very very boring as usual.. the best part of the whole ceremony is tat they hav free food!!! wahahaha...the bee hoon was nice.. wif fishballs and a chicken wing.. waaa... quite shiok... lol..
ok.. this morning recieved my chinese results... was quite disappointed when i saw my results.. abit happy abit sad.. i got a B3 grade.. i wanted at least an A actually.. but before today.. i knew i did not do well for my papers and i may not even get a B.. so i was quite relieved when i see a 3.. but i was quite sad when i remember how hungry am i for an A1.. i dun mind A2.. but i got a 3!!! count count.. i left 7 subjects.. my eng.. i think if i do very well.. best i can get shld be B4.. nvm.. i write down the expected results if i do well.. not wad i wan.. but be realistic.. the best i can get... mayb better :D
English - B4
Chinese - B3 (set for now)
E maths - A1
A maths - C5 (try my very best)
Chemistry - B3
Physics - A1 (i believe i can do it)
Comb Hum. - B3
ok.. these are the 7 subjects and the grades that i shld be able to get....total for L1R5...15 liao.. minus my A1 for CCA.. den 13.. quite not bad.. but if i get an A1 or 2 for my chinese.. means i can get 12 or even 11.. but next situation.. i do badly...
English - C6 (MUST PASS)
Chinese - B3 (if i nv retake)
E maths - A2 ( or even B3)
A maths - E8
Chemistry - C6
Physics - B4
Comb Hum. - C6
count lo.. today L1R5... 27 leh! if i get an A1 for chinese.. i will get 25.. its like got alot of help.. i know that is was my paper 1 tat pull me down frm getting an A for chinese.. and i believe i can get an A if i try again.. but will it affect my other subjects? i am not sure.. if i got into the 2nd situation.. i still can survive.. by going malaysia study.. if first situation den best! go in sg JC.. probably meridian.. but my parents say i cant cope with their high standard of english.. under influence.. of course i abit scare lah.. but den i wanted to get into sg uni! i frm young wanted to get into sg uni.. i wan to stay wif my age grp.. somemore in sg uni all same sg ppl.. better communication and sure more fun.. den after NS.. will be older than the gals there.. sure can find a gf mah =X ....haha...
going malaysia study is easy.. juz get 5 passes can liao.. but nt include chinese.. but den muz consider.. i may not mix well wif the ppl there.. i may need to learn some malay.. more stress.. and live in a foriegn country away frm home really suxs...den come NS mix wif different age ppl also sian... den wan find a gf also very difficult unless lucky go a work place tat hav lo.. haha.. think too much.. nvm.. but i dun really wan go overseas...haiz....
so now.. my parents also say dun need retake.. so... so.... i still nt very happy with the B leh.. haiz..! and if i say i wan retake.. principal also wont allow cuz my other subjects is nt doing well...haiz.. i dunno lah.. now muz work very hard for my other subjects.. try to understand a maths faster.. cuz i always understand the thgs and formulas very very slow.. den phy.. all the qn confusing to me.. actually quite easy...chemistry.. hav nt been working hard since last year.. so i hav disadvantage.. now den starting to learn.. to learn wad is soluble in wad.. react wad wif wad to form wad...now den start to learn.. but sometimes i still dunno wads the use of this reagent or wad.. cuz textbooks nv say.. my notes all dunno fly where.. haha.. so.. hav chance den ask frens bah...
den.. english is the subject i worry the most.. next week is the o lvl english oral exam.. but my mind will still go blank if u pass me a picture and ask me describe... arghh.. i dunno y!!!! nt enough training i think...i am scared.. english is a compulsory subject for everythg lo.. i hope i can get a B... no.. i WANT and MUST get a B!!!!! arghh!!! i must not be myself for oral.. i must act to be ver gd in english and tok as much crap as i can! i can do it! the examiners also dunno me.. y be so shy?! speak out loud! wrong nvm!! afterall its READING ALOUD and picture discussion and juz normal conversation! ok.. blog long enough liao... k bye...
today's idiom : " 天有不测风云, 人有旦夕祸福 "
pandaboo penned at 8/12/2005 07:08:00 pm
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think free.live free
Thursday, August 04, 2005
ok darn it... forget abt my chem pract.. its over.. its OVER.. BUT I'M NOT OVER...arghh...
ok.. today.. can say is first day sitting in the new position.. but same partner.. ok lah.. dun hav like dislike partner or wad.. but i hate tat position.. its the 3rd row.. juz infront of the teacher.. under the damn bright light.. worse thg is i cant slp in class liao! but i noe i will.. and in the end will kena scold.. den also cannot use hp liao.. cannot do other stuffs liao.. and den..! around me almost all gals!! only diagonally.. hav gilvin and teck hua.. seldom tok to them also.. den.. wah lau! bored to death ah! cannot tok! ask me tok to my partner? abt wad? she nv start topic.. i also nv start topic.. she dun gossip i think.. and she study almost every min.. and i am dreaming almost every min.. hav somehow nth in common to tok abt... den today mrs khoo giv us a lecture.. saying tat she will nt attend the prom nite cuz we are nt united as a class.. cuz somehow the class dislike some ppl and make them outcast.. den she make example like lp and yr got outcasted.. i was surprised.. why izzit them? they are juz quite quiet.. so we seldom tok to them much.. like tat call outcast liao? den i saw lp cried lo.. y sia.. den suddenly teacher move jessica juz beside me.. i was shocked! and i try nt to giv any expression.. but my shocked expression i think too obvious liao...den cher keep say say say.. i noe is refer to me lah.. but really lo.. suddenly move beside me.. means my place there more worse liao!.. den after her 'speech'.. i still feel nth.. i nv do alot thgs to show i dislike ppl.. actually i also nv dislike.. i'm neutral neutral type...but now my seat there more sian liao!!! no one to tok to! nt even a guy around me to tok! i dun mind anyone! i juz one someone around me to tok!!! arghh!
but i noe its impossible.. juz live wif it.. its gonna be until the end of my secondary life.. so wad i can do now is to concentrate in lessons.. but i think i will fall asleep much faster than expected... now i like phy lesson tat is in ITR3.. sit wif joel only.. finally got listen.. den joel also listening.. den got aircon.. dunno y nt sleepy one... nt like last time.. ARGGGHHH!
den now we hav more prob liao.. mrs khoo say she nt going.. i feel tat she will still go in the end.. but den now.. temporary a problem.. cuz anh asked her again.. and she say she is nt going.. wah lau.. if she nt going.. is like destroying our whole plan liao.. haiz.. i dunno wad to write liao.. i am still so damn sad and angry... today also got scolded by tat lame rahma.. dowan to say reason lah.. very lame.. haiz.. I AM SO SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pandaboo penned at 8/04/2005 05:13:00 pm
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think free.live free
so DAMN IT! i am very unhappy now.. sad and angry.. very very very sad!! juz came back frm sch.. and u all shld noe.. its abt my chem pract.. its PRELIM chem pract.. and u noe waD? i think it will be very GOOD already if i pass.. cuz i left 8marks of blank! yes.. i dint finish my practical.. i was too slow.. the qn abit abit misleading.. especially the first part.. say add solid T.. but they wrote "add YOUR SAMPLE OF T.." .. at first i tot it was one spoon.. the small spoon.. but den like somehow saw ppl put the whole pack.. den i also put lo.. den see teachers bringing in beakers of the solid.. den i noe somethg is wrong liao.. so i redo.. damn it.. it react so slow..
den do do do.. titration do 4 times somemore.. den i skip the calculations first.. cuz i only left 40mins or less.. so i do the qn 2.. i noe i do very slowly.. i tot still wil hav time left.. but by the time i finish the experiments.. only left 10mins for my conclusions all these... the worse part is.. i nv record my observations in pen.. i record it in pencil at another side.. so i hav to copy all the results in.. dammit.. and i forgot wad i wanna add in to my observations.. like the reddish brown ppt all these.. den i nv write the ions for qn 2.. 3 marks.. i knew its was somethg like iron ammonia and one more.. forgot liao.. den the first qn muz identify T.. nv write also.. 2marks.. den the calculation part.. 3 marks blank.. dun even hav time to read the qn.. all together 8marks + some observations wrong + forgot add in.. i wanted to write partially soluble for the T in aq ammonia.. but den i forgot.. i was in a rush and juz copy every thg frm my observations in pencil...
so.. dammit... the whole paper is 25 marks i think.. and i lose abt 10marks liao.. WTF IS THIS?! WTF AM I DOING TODAY?!....PRACTICAL SUPPOSE TO PULL ME UP! MIDYEAR WAS MY PRACT TAT MADE ME PASS! now how! its PRELIMS and i do such a stupid thg!
den somemore.. my parents keep saying i cant study.. i dunno how to 'read books' in chinese.. its du shu.. like say until i dunno how to read like tat.. very angry.. den now my father ask me consider going to malaysia for my future studies.. WAH LAU.. malaysia! i think its quite ok.. but i dun like.. cuz like wad kc say.. like downgrade liao tat.. but its an australian university tat locate their brunch in malaysia.. i dunno wan go anot.. and very little courses...either busniess or engineering.. i hav only 2 choice.. IT business or juz electrical engineering... wah lau! i dunno lah! i juz wish i can go into sg uni! i wan to be like everyone else!!!
i now very very sad.. very low mood.. how? i noe u all can say juz do better for o lvl one.. but den.. this is prelims.. which decides alot of thg.. my phy pract also.. took a spoilt micrometer srew guage i also dunno.. tat really suxs....and.. and... i have nth to say.. i now feel tat there is somethg pressing on me.. until i cant even raise my head.. i now walk wif my head face down.. i hav no face to see ppl around me.. especially teachers.. some hav so much hope on me but i giv such a result...wad a shame.. i promised nt to play game.. i done it.. except for testing my new battlefield 2 game for juz awhile.. nv really play.. tats it.. but i still spend alot of my time on my computer.. dling wad windows vista.. and those movies.. waste my time.. now hw starts to stack up again.. in fact.. already got alot maths hw..den now hav to really buck up my chem.. today will nt be easy to spend.. i regret i always nv pay attention in class.. so alot thgs i dunno.. cuz textbook dun hav.. but wad textbook hav... i sure noe.. cuz i always study textbook.. i cant study my notes.. cuz i dun even noe how to file my notes.. tat suxs.. i now den noe listening in class is so important.. phy.. i nv study for dc motor.. but i listen in class only.. i passed a test while quite alot ppl fail... listening in class is important.. arghh!!!!!
Lesson Learnt today.. "Don't do thgs slowly" .. "Pay attention in class"... "do all the hw"... " study frm notes.. not textbook"...dammit!!!!!!! i suxs...
pandaboo penned at 8/04/2005 05:12:00 pm
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think free.live free
: 5:52 pm
