the week of WHATT THEEEE...

papers were shit.. im expecting a really REALLY bad GPA.. gross
a huge point to take note for next term onwards: do really REALLY well for presentations! final papers are impossible to score.. n perhaps get nice generous profs..

n it doesnt get any better.. biz law on friday.. *laughs hysterically*

ah well keep those fingers crossed hmm need to keep them cross for lots of things actually.. ssh shall not say or they wont come true..

anyways, reyes finally scored. good for him! hmm I suddenly feel like sarah is creating a whole blog of barca reports n im doing the gunners report.. so if henry does transfer all henry news moves from my blog to hers.. heheh.. ah well, wenger is definitely creating a team for the future and i cant wait till they all blossom! I was scouting around for more articles and found terribly funny ones.. like how bergkamp influenced fabregas' fashion sense for the better (thank god he cut the terrible hairdo), van persie's wife is morrocan! ie muslim.. , n there was an article comparing ROONEY n FABREGAS! the CAPS are to attract the man u fans to read this haha.. it says how rooney is so terribly educated tt he cant even speak english properly whereas fab mastered it in 3 mths n is currently learning french. n he's possibly going to london U, too bad smu isnt a partner uni :P n they showed tt rooney is earning gazillionss n spending it like water, whereas fab is actually earning a tiny sum in comparison to rooney.. n staying with senderos n the landlady.. all these tiny fun facts.. :)

anyway, was looking at all the UK partner unis smu has and the most appealing is prob City Uni cos its like almost right next to Highbury!!!! which should be near Ashburton Grove.. haha. the point in going for exchange prog is to have fun RIGHTTT.. so who cares if its a good uni or not.. haha..

Anyway, check out this really nice theme song from the anime samurai X - Starless

just a little pick-me-up

:)

whipeee!!!!!! cesc my man scored the opening goal with a classy curl! he's finally on the scoresheet! n persie's goal was a stunner! the young ones are becoming starlets of their own right! finally can arsenal be deemed a force to be reckoned with once again! hmm i know im talking lots of soccer but mark my words! fabregas is gonna be one hell of a spanish star! I hope he plays in the world cup!!

you know how the more stuff you have to do, the more you tend NOT to do them.. haha thats me alright right now.. its time to mugmugmug.. but noooo.. im surfing.. watching stuff on lappy & tv, playing stupid games, checking out fabregas news

speaking of which.. dont u think less is more? looks sooo much better w/o the sideburns and longish hair n earrings.. n waxed hair.. haha.. when he overwaxes, he looks like persie esp when he doesnt dye his hair.. and when he wears his earrings, he looks like cristiano ronaldo -gags- im sorry crystal, cronaldo is NOT hot.. haha.. see what i told u abt not muggingg... weeee pottering tomorrow..

Just finished watching Thun v Arsenal.. the afternoon telecast.. cos i wont be able to be conscious to watch it in the morning.. was tempted to look at soccernet for the results all morning but resisted.. anyway, v interesting match with a record number of offsides! I was half rooting for Thun cos they were really playing very well and i cudnt help but think tt the match was fixed from the number of offsides there were esp when the disallowed goal wasnt actually offisde.. plus.. Ferreira is kinda cute haha so poor thing.. he was in the middle of the protesting agst the penalty and the referee was just looking for someone to yellow card n he was so suay to get it.. but was also watching Fabregas play woohoo.. He is totally controlling that midfield! In the thick of all the action, distributing the ball well and plays very maturely.. not to mention he looked so adorable when he was gonna get subbed in.. haha.. and reyes was making so many plays in the first half.. there is hope for arsenal once the youngsters develop more.. i reaaalllly reallllyyy hope arsenal buys casillas n the other good prospects.. itll be a team of wonderful youngsters (who arent bad to look at :) led by the very person tt best represents arsenal.. henry! (if barca doesnt tempt him.. go away sarah!:P) yea!

Spanish media have said that Premiership sides Manchester United and Arsenal are both interested in recruiting the 24-year-old Spanish international

THAT 24 yr old spanish international happens to be IKER CASILLAS! back off man u! u already have van der sar.. we NEED casillas to replace the incompetent lehmann & almunia.. that would be the smartest goalkeeper deal arsenal would make if it falls through! n one of the better deals in a realy long time..

http://www.q-news.com/index.htm
I just stumbled upon this site for a british muslim magazine. very good read especially about the relevance of Islam in the modern context, particularly in a western country; tempted to subscribe to it. It's something that is lacking in discussion here and I really do agree that our views are too much of a byproduct of the media. Even though i really do loathe reading, I don't want to be a simpleton believing every word the media feeds me. I appreciate the security we have in the country but I feel too sheltered that I can't even offer an original opinion to matters of concern. I really need to get out and experience life for what it really has to offer and what it really is.

i hate smu!!!!!!!!

why? cos it robs me of my friends.. EVERYONE is either busy in some project meeting. (thats YOU DENISE how can u be having a proj meeting when classes have ended!?) or busy mugging (thats you yanling.. how can u blow off lunch with me to mug!?). kirpal was right.. smu students have become like any other bunch where they put too much emphasis on the final exams.. im actually stoning NOWW cos i dunno what to doooo.. -pouts-

i want to watch movieessss.. but everyone will simply blow me off for... yes projects & mugging.. boohooooooo.. mebbe i shud go fazly's house tom haha after 5 hrs of CT with the other smu malays.. but i hardly even know them.. boooooo i have no life..

what a nice lazy day..
leong was nice to let us off at 1030 where i spent the rest of the time lounging on the couch waiting for the biz law pple to come out..

ended up borrowing the follow-up to the notebook & some random learn spanish book.. i realise i can only understand written spanish.. forming sentences are atrocious ahah n trying to decipher what they say is worst haha.. n rented madagascar.. where ive only watched the first cd cos i decided to take a nap in between n ended up sleeping till dinner.. the movie's kinda weirddd..

anyways, yays amal, asi n i prob gonna sign up for some buddy thingy next term where we'll buddy up with an exchange student.. one of us wants a hot turkish guy.. and the other 2 want a hot muslim spaniard.. u can try n decipher which of us it is haha.. budden.. whyyy are the guys in those region + the arabs so gatal.. its so ew.. for the lack of a better word. discovery travel n living was showing cairo, egypt and they were showing how gatal they were n sucking on their sheeshaas... its STILL smoking u knowww.. and.. how can u be talking abt a christian monastery when ure in egypt!? heloo.. when ure in italy.. u dont talk abt any other thing except the main religion tt is catholics rightt.. so when in egypt, could u pls show the main religion there!?

9) Ili Hazwaniaka Ilai / Hazwani / Gorilli
Our resident sprinter, Ili frequently hears remarks about her impressive leg muscles ("You must be a long-distance runner"). However, when she's not on the run (pun intended) during track training, Ili likes to indulge in her recently taken up pastime: aquisition of skirts. The number of these pieces of clothing that Ili has in her possession is presently unknown. Sources have indicated, that, owing to the recent passing of her birthday, that number might have taken a sudden leap. She is a friendly, honest person. Ili also endears herself to an active character with a sunny desposition named Tigger. Another passion: football.Ideal gift: a skirt, or an oversized stuffed Tigger.Quotable quote:"Tigger!""DON'T CALL ME GORILLI!!"

emily just showed me old OLD stuff.. from days yonder! ok fine sec2.. theres a hideous foto too my god.. n u know what.. i havent changed much.. DESCRIPTION-WISE.. im STILL acquiring skirts.. i think they're pretty! hahah hmm my Tigger has turned into Novi and will possibly turn into another kitty if she doesnt appear soon.. oh but no more impressive leg muscles haha

i stink

i literally do.. shall make a quickie before i jump into the shower

THANK YOU SYA!!! i had a nice surprise when i found yr letter in my mailbox.. was the only letter too.. great! altho I have no idea what the piece of wood in the letter was haha.. the flowers which I dont know if they were brown to begin with were falling off haha.. but weee! I have live things from france haha.. how cool is tt! snail mail rocks!

today alone was a whole rollercoater ride of emotions.. had a nice macs breakfast after being let off class early.. felt awful for letting my grpmates down cos of a miscommunication with ms chew.. but we solved the prob thank god.. then felt relieve that I finally achieve my first semblance of an A from *drumrolls* Biz law oral presentation.. haha.. i think im more worried for MA than for biz law. DIE DIE DIE.. then as usual videocams were giving us a problem n only solved it 2 hrs later.. (btw ain u will totally love my fren's brother who is a muslim vik, i liked his physique but u know i dont have a thing for viks, 2 yrs younger aha) right.. another down was i reached home at 620pm and i forgot the house key AGAIN.. so waited till mom came home at 645 and walked in to find Sya's letter yay! so all in all sya, you rounded up my topsy-turvy day on a good note.. or i hope no stupid things will occur with 4 hrs left to wednesday.. :)

indulgences are fun!
ms chew woke me up abt cancellation so I ended up reading the papers at 11am and decided to watch Zorro at 1145am! yeaaa I finally watched the wholeee thinggg. Catherine Zeta Jones was perfect, I always thot of her as ice queen-ish but after tt movie, wow she is just awesome.. and I admire her for raising a family and all.. i feel like breaking into 'she's a lady' haha.. Antonio Banderas looks a lil old and haggard but how can you hate him? and their son's antics are soooo hilarious.. the movie will probably rise up the ranks as my favorite movie.. :)

anyway, mark ruffalo is EVERYWHERE!.. he is in 3 movies this last stretch of the yr! theres just like heaven, this story with jennifer anniston & kevin costner and the family stone or sth liddat.. and he is surrounded by stars! woweee! i think 13 going 30 really shot him to fame! He's soooo adorable! oh wait.. the family stone is dermot mulroney not mark ruffalo... weee! my lovely leading men.. and to those who say every girl loves richard gere.. sorry EW.. i can name at least 5 other guys better than him..
1) Brad Pitt (come on... )
2) Dermot Mulroney (STILL swooning over my best friend's wedding singing scene)
3) Mark Ruffalo (he's rising up the ranks fast)
4) Michael Vartan (WHY did jenn garner choose ben affleck?)
5) Kevin Costner (he is totally swoonable in tt movie)

im sorry.. im a tabloids reader.. haha

im stuffed
i ate the last of the ketupats (yes my family takes ages to finish them) plus half a regular pizza leftover from the other night while watching one tree hill.. i totally enjoy my pure hour of heaven each time i watch one tree hill or oc.. plus there was gilmore girls today.. sad episode but i love all the characters still.. so quirky..

2 families came today.. 1 of which was jau's family minus the guy who's busy mugging haha..n we pointed out tt yet another pretty distant relative is currently teaching physics in RJ.. he's my... grandaunt's son.. i would really love to have a family version of friendster but quite paiseh to ask people for their names n everything when i dont even talk to them or know their existence hehe.. so far my family tree is prob only abt 1/2 done.. my 4 or 5 other grand aunt's/uncle's sides are still not filled.. n i started this project like eons ago.. mebbe ill only finish it in abt 10 yrs time.. parents are planning to celebrate their hmm 26th? wedding anniversary one day after my last paper.. n my sis n i told them to invite the whole family tree haha.. oh yaa.. another reason why its soooo paiseh to ask is cos it would sound like we're planning a wedding and writing the invites.. :S thats oh so wronggg!

i want to watch Zorro (the whole movie), just like heaven (yay to mark ruffalo!) & harry potter!

now that my shallow side has had enough
was reading the malay papers today, yes one of the rare times & they were talking abt all the measures they want to put into place to help teenagers at risk, esp the ones who end up pregnant & all. Seriously speaking, I don't know how these programs work and how effective they really are. I don't think it reaches the bulk of the community cos I've never even seen any of the programs. Perhaps the only ones I know about are the ones that are too late when those who become pregnant & want to use marriage as a cover-up are forced into counseling. For something to be effective, it's got to be so widespread that it reaches everyone. I mean when its a national problem theres always schools and education to be the -rollyoureyes- main solution cos it addresses the root of the problem.. Interestingly enough, there was another article that mentioned why address it as only a community problem, when we are part of the nation? Everyone has a whole has got to do more to tackle the problem. I was reading Nizam's blog too and he was commenting about blaming certain failures as the innate nature of a Malay. and its true, whenever there is a problem, the root is always seen as that and its all the parents fault. But I do blame the parents. I blame them for not kicking enough sense into their children and i blame the children for being too materialistic and shallow, too narrow minded and too easily satisfied. I see traces of talent even within my own family but I'm scared for them because they might not succeed in our cookie-cutter environment. It makes me think how much we as a community have to offer but when we're too caught up with all these silly social problems, too easily satisfied, its a shame to see that talent waste away. Not to mention, it makes me think how inadequate I am and I shamefully admit that I am a cookie cutout with nothing extra to offer. Maybe one day, I will be able to help my own community shine through. Don't scorn my dreams.

technophobe

i REALLY hate anything electrical.. they are the BANE of my life..
why cant all things be idiot proof!? and cant every connection be a USB connection?? it makes life SO MUCH simpler..

heres the hair-pulling details of the day
1) started out realising leina's videocam is super old.. its soooooo old u have to look thru the small hole & it seems like its black and white..
2)thenn.. i realise her cam n my cam dont share the same wire.. so essentially i cant use it to transfer footage to the comp since my cam is relatively newer and thankgod has a screen u can open n flip for easy recording..
3) last night i was turning the house upside down trying to find my own wire and couldnt find it
4) after skl, i turned funan upside down trying to find my wire but cudnt either
5) kicked up a tantrum cos i STILL cudnt find the wire after more searching at home
6) dad miraculously finds the wire.. in my cupboard compartmentn with all the comp stuff
7) stupid muvee program refuses to be installed saying the product key is invalid
8) Brilliantly decides to move moviemaker from lappy to PC via thumb drive
9) I didnt move the whole file so that didnt work
10) home PC ALREADY had moviemaker..
11) vidcam is not detected by PC
12) -3 hours later- muvee program decides that it will finally let me install
13) -30mins later after (12)- dad finds out the connection to the camera is loose... & PC detects vidcam
14) Uses movie maker to extract footage but resolution sucks!
15) Uses muvee to extract footage but cannot edit!
16) Moviedirector refuses to be opened, saying it only opens with resolution higher than 16bit but my comp was on 32bit!!!
17)Finds a way to manipulate muvee so tt hopefully in the future i can burn the bloody footage on cd..

i started this nonsense at 830pm.. its now 1am.. its really WTF.. i hatee technology.. hateithateithateit!!!! my dad was all.. oh shall we buy another tape & another wire & another card? but that would mean I would have to figure the whole thing out.. n as u can see from above.. i AM not technically inclined.. every single time i have to work with vidcams, the amount tt i curse & swear is astronomical. it seems to get worst with each time... i want imovies.. it was the most user friendly software ive used so far... :(

and more rantings
GPA is screwed
its officially Novi's 6th bday.. why isnt she home!??

I don't know why but it seems that bad luck seem to fall on me like dominoes.. i could sulk and say its not my fault but i guess its partly my doing. Mostly, I'm still confused over a billion things. Life, religion, who I am, studies, socialising.. i feel so lost and normally I feel theres something invisible hand guiding me along.. but this time, I really do feel lost. I don't know how to strike a balance. I don't know what I have to do. For instance, I relish just wallowing in my own selfish shallowness and then I see & hear other people and really admire what they are trying to achieve. This is exactly what I am. Just like it says above, like iron eaten away by rust; my jealousy head is too big for words. But all I want is to be happy. If you say I can take a stand and be happy for what I have.. bullshit. How can I be happy with what I am now? It's unacceptable. I hate cheesy ohthatssofuckingobvious advise. You think simplifying the solution like tt makes pple have a new look on life? it makes u feel worst actually cos ure trivialising the problems. like. don't worrry you're not alone in this.. whats tt supposed to mean? like ure one of the common problematic people? and ure a problem to be fixed by a fixed set of steps? thats why I never know what to say when someone's sad. No matter what you say, the person's gonna think the worst anyway.. at least in my position. i really dont want to be this self absorbed.

cutey kitties!

i want my kitty! -whine-

anyway, just watched all the videos i have of the rgs & rj class.. and now i realise the need to keep such tapes.. the unedited versions of rj were especially funny! wish i cud tape all the funny & nice moments in life!

silly laugh-filled day.. even tho i woked up not wanting to go to skl..

got back biz law written report today.. ayeeee.. why is tch so strict? :( other classes have A- as the lowest grade and the top in our class was still lower than that... he must really hate us or sth to give us such shitty grades.. and i thought he was nice... :( ah wells.. at least according to some pple its impossible to get out..

anyways, while waiting for AS class, we started playing all the songs we had on our laptops, and bingkai was playing the Captain Planet's theme song.. with eileen singing TOTALLY out of tune & with the wrong lyrics hahah.. its damn rofl.. being all silly is good.. then we had meeting which was just as laughter inducing.. cos its Creative thinking project! I hope we get good footage! anyway, ended up meeting sixuan by chance outside SESS while going to 7-11 with elizer, this really damn funny RI-VJ filipino guy.. relishing our old times was really fun!

oh and after class on tuesday, the whole contingent of us trooped to suntec for jap buffet where we could get it cheaper if we finished up in an hour. The sashimi was HEAVEN! and everyone just kept eating n eating their money's worth! and Alvin being on my table was TRYING to be helpful and took extra helpings of everything.. so we ended up being the table with the most food still on our table with little time left.. 10mins before the hour was up, he decided to take dessert, someone wanted a particular dessert, and he took... NINE pieces of it!!! not to mention the OTHER food that was still on our table and the OTHER types of dessert that he took together with it.. PLUS ice cream & mini puddings.. so in 10mins, we were scolding him for taking too much, he was stuffing his face silly with ALL the food, defending himself by saying he was being nice... & we were just laughing to bits, being unable to put food in our mouths watching him eat everything in 3 mins! haha we ended up being the last table to get out while we got the rest to pay for us first haha. so that we would get an extra 5 mins haha.. alvin still could tapao his ice cream out..

it turned out to be a happy day.. even tho skl is sooo boring.. i hope happy days persist...

renew..

the most stupid thing happened while i was watching Zorro.. i was thinking. wow this has the possibility of making the ranks in the list of movies i would watching.. and then what happens next is a fire alarm announcement telling pple to move out to the auditoriuM!??! so we did.. n no one explained anything to us.. so we just got back a refund.. but i WANTED to watch it dammit..

so em n i trooped off to KFc cos i wanted to try the fish ole burger.. the sauce is quite nice.. then went off to mt sinai to hang out in rj.. its the perfect place to have a picnic.. now tt grass is actually growing.. and if not the spex gal is good enough. perhaps em n gang will meet again for a picnic in rj.. i was thinking.. when nus high skl moves out they shud just preserve the skl for pple like US! for ex rj peeps to come down n hang out or study and play handball and what not since smu is severely lacking in such facilities (interesting tt im actually supporting rj facilities when its terrible aha)

anyway, i try to start anew.. somehow visiting 10 houses in 12 hours on sunday put some things into perspective n i feel more than ever the need to stop seeing the bad side of things and throw myself into the moment. to persist with whats good for me even tho its painful and more than ever.. to get out of here.

This guy right here is my ljungberg substitue (since he's out with injury).. francesc fabregas! :D He's cut off his sloppy long hair, he's on the starting 11, he's a terrific midfielder and he's ONLY 18! AND he's a spaniard.. if he found the back of the net more often, he'd be PERFECT!

ooh i esp wonder why theres an orange/red line across his face everytime he plays.. but he's grreat to look at hahaha.. sorry.. but it's not wrong to look at nice things.. :)

its ooooooooooooover....
the presentations at least.. ive still got a tonne of written work to do but im taking it easy for now... blehblehbleh..
so since kak isnt coming home today, we're not going visitng and i ended up in C&K (not CK.. haha very big gap in prices there) and bought the white bag that ouyang says is ugly for..... $9! i had a discount voucher so whipee.. so now i have a bimbo bag which i plan to bring with me if i ever go for my exchange prog.. to put all my passports and stuff haha. i tend to think toooo far ahead..
the lowdown on hari raya:
went for solat raya which felt really fast this year.. wore my pretty pretty black baju kurung.. (finally one in a dark colour!) its great to wear black cos no one knows when u spill stuff on yrself haha.. which happened ALOT throughout the day haha.. hmm however it issss a mat colour haha.. :X oooh the funniest part was when we were driving back home from masjid kampung ahmad ibrahim, there was this merc in front of us that looked like it wasnt driving straight n it would come so close to us.. then we realised, it was our uncle's car! haha he was slowing down, waiting for us to pass them so that he could pass us lepat hahah.. so motorists behind us could see someone transferring food from one window to another haha.. it was incredibly funny

ahah.. well most of the time was actually spent doing MA blech n sleeping.. ahah yes i was napping.. damn tired lahh.. n the quiz today was SHIT.. gd thing i didnt spend too much time studying cos it wudnt have mattered haha.. im so gonna fail skl.. im abt to embark on a fallacy of slippery slope where it ends with me having a pathetic life and being poor.. haha.. for more info, ask peiyan what that means.. :p

but at night there was like a rombongan who came over.. where there were like.... 24 of them.. 6 adults.. and most of the kids were like my age and male haha.. didnt get a good look though.. n were mostly mats... plus.. they are my 2nd cousins who i did not know existed.. so they're family.. im actually linked to them by BLOOODDD..however diluted it may be.. it just makes me think how easy it is to get a bf who happens to be related to u.. well taking into the fact it supposedly is easy to get a bf in the first place haha.. anyway, they were all mostly outside on the swing anyway while i was busy trynig to get enough drinks for the whole gang.. funnily, they all mistook the newly renovated bathroom as someone's bedroom.. so like when one person entered, there were a few otheres who were peering in at the same time haha.. imagine having that many people with that many hyperactive kids bouncing around in a 3 room flat! surely spill into the corridor already haha..

yay.. next week the legend of zorro and/or max brenner with emily! i wished that were the only thing i had to do next weekk.... boooo....

so ramadhan's come and gone
i do wonder if shes gotten my card...
anyway, i love making ketupats.. a dying art.. haha.. well.. how many of u know how to weave anyway! so fun.. n to think i couldnt do it cos my hand was too small for the leaf to wind round my hand thrice.. my.. how big my hands have grown..

anyway, note the marble cake at the background.. its freshly baked right out of the oven.. yum.. they're so good, even my cat eats them.. well when she decides to greet us with her presence..

what a stinkingly workaholic deepavali i had.. lets hope i get a break thurs.. n let the horrible project-filled week be over~!

Let me fall - One tree hill
let me feel
i don't care if i break down
let me fall
even if I hit the ground
and if i cry a little
die a little
at least i know i lived
just a little

I've become much too good
at being invincible
i'm an expert at play it safe and keep it cool
but i swear this isn't who i meant to be
i refuse to let my life roll over me

I want to be someone
I want to be somebody
who can face the things that i've been running from

it's october again
leaves are coming down
one more year's come and gone
and nothing's changed at all.


the words couldnt' ring more true..
there's so many things unresolved, so many wants, so many things I just don't know how to handle.. and who to turn to. this is just one of many paths i can take though at times I can't help but feel regret. It's such an ugly word..