sleep-inducing

took my first step to rebellion and laziness this week.. haha.. as if... didnt go to skl yest.. but that was because i got sore eyes and i didnt want to infect anyone else.. how socially responsible of me hahah as sarah puts it.. and biz law was so brief and touch n go and laboriously chored thru of all things.. AN example.. which i think i partly started it.. n i realised i was confused over the defn when i asked the qn haha oops... well nonetheless i chatted with qr, junwan n halima hmm n kianfong who was actually sitting behind me.. cos i was damnn boreeedd.. n the thing is he touched n go everything, he even covered until the chapter i havent even read thru! and i took abt 2 days to read 100+ pages of that picture-less book! reading n rereading n rerererererereading the bloody cases..

then i had 5 hrs to slave thru.. was damn freaking bored lah.. in the end i went to the mosque and watched that 70s show on lappy while waiting for asar.. bencoolen mosque is damn nice.. n clean n empty n has nice new carpets and BIG toilet & really cooling aircon.. very comfortable.. just a bit far.. but its right in front of SESS where i had anal skills after anyway.. anal skills can be really retarded.. we were so confused by the end of the lesson that i guess the only thing i picked up was that.. whatever u believe is true, just argue yr way through! i dunno why but i tend to rhyme at times like these.. memories of jc captain balls agst the guys (when in doubt, throw out!) the tiny part of lit that exists in me haha.. i rem i attempted to write poems in pri skl.. but they were really lame.. n seemed to always be going on along the same line of thot.. n pri skl was still all cheesy rhymy.. so yea.. that was when i dared to have an artistic side before i got really intimidated with all the jargon and rules and analysis.. like come on, stupid sec skl gep had a mini test to see how much we knew abt poetry n lit.. stuff like what is a haiku and so on.. haha that was the first time i saw those words! and i still dunno what they are.. why be bounded anyway.. :P

anyway, i need more enthu pple ard me to psyche me up to go for things.. i need people like hon that go.. LETS GO FOR KAYAKING! when both of us actually half mean it hahaha.. but w/o the psyched up-ness its gonna remain a thought.. i need u TanTanTan! i wanna go for samba masala but the timing is awful.. i wanna go for touch n frisbee n soccer but im a bum.. n friday afternoons clash with absolutely everything.. i wanna go for archery & photog session but its just a thot.. well.. if there ever is a call for white water rafting tho, im signing up!!!

ooh yea.. leina says tt kelvin says tt if i take a foreign lang outside skl, it can possibly be converted as a GE in skl.. which mean i can save E-dollars and i prob can find a better timing AND i can continue with that particular skl till a higher level.. wooh.. since im pretty free these days.. think ill go find a course.. mebb ei can find one on wed in my 5 hr break.. will tt be too heavy? biz law is headache inducing after all.. anyone else wants to take up spanish on the side?

friends forever?

on my msn.. even with 30+ pple online, i don't chat with any of them..
its all hi bye friends.. n i am also guilty of striking up a convo just to gain some info..
its easier to make friends.. but its much harder to keep them.
i hate feeling so stranded after class..its not like in skl where u can just hang out with your classmates.. it feels kinda saddd.. but i guess ill get used to it..
n all friends have different timetables.. so i dont know when i can strike up an msn chat/sms rally.. :(

its been a long time since ive had a heart to heart talk with anyone these days. but as the days go by.. its getting harder to find someone to really click with.. n just share yr innermost thoughts.. and hey im only a freshie and im starting to feel like a 30+ yr old single whose friends are all attached.. better get used to it i guess.. hehehe...

bad service part 2

seriously, u would think with all the hooha regarding how service is so bad in Sg, people will actually take notice and make an effort to improve.. apparently not.. today my bloody sandals broke.. they just completely fell apart on me.. n so i was forced ard to walk to citylink in my sports shoes tt i was half thankful for bringing.. except i was wearing a skirt.. not even a denim skirt.. so i attempted to walk ard trying to look like whoa this is a new hot trend man n i dont care tt ure staring at me cos its a complete mismatch.. (paranoid i know) so went to mphosis where i was certain i cud get sth i liked.. the sales assistants were bitches! well.. fine they werent that bad.. but they werent tt great either.. i was standing there WAITING for them to finish their conversation before i cud get any service.. i got a little dissed so i just butted in and asked for my size.. one of them took notice but still continued to talk for another minute before getting my shoe.. n then she proceeded to steam the clothes.. like wth.. in an empty place is steaming a bloody piece more important than the ONLY customer in yr shop? so i continued to look at other shoes while she steamed.. n i had to practically yell for help again to get me the size i wanted.. n then there wasnt even my size.. even tho it was written on the back of the sample shoe.. n she doesnt even bother to check for me if any others have the size.. pls.. is the service sector so hard? i mean dealing with complaints and all that is tough.. but just treat a bloody customer the way u want to be treated! is that so hard for crying out loud..? so i was just irritated and left the shoes near the seat and walked out of the shop as the woman was still steaming her precious clothes..

so i stormed home in a really foul mood in sports shoes.. but i managed to chat with zz again after a really long time.. n that made me really happy.. :) i was actually in a good enough mood to get out of the house 1.5hrs later to mt sinai rj/nus high skl (which has the butt ugliest neighbourhood-ish uniform) for recre floorball.. yay weifa & steve were there (Mr incredible & ahbeng!) n met ian again! cool.. first fren made in recre.. n i met casibir.. the guy with the indian-ish name who is actually chinese and wants to start softball woohoo... nice named guy.. hmm the better one at the game was also there.. yay.. n there was an exchange student from Finland who played floorball since he was 10.. naturally, he thrashed us hahhaa. what fun.. i need to find another cca to join tho.. competitively or a non sport.. anyone wants to go for dikir barat? :D

bad service?

had my taste of disgusting service from a TIBS driver today..
he purposely refused to let me in.. i knocked on the door and he gave me a dirty look before driving off.. like come on! what is this nonsense? to be totally honest, i was holding a bag of bread and munching on it.. but u cud just kindly tell me NOT to eat on the bus right.. no need to be so anal and give pple dirty looks.. or maybe he's racist.. my initial reaction was shock.. turned into anger turned into lots of cursory words turning now to annoyance and digust.. and wow people ard me just didnt seem to care.. seriously... there is something awfully wrong with our society.. i was blog surfing and im reading blogs of all those people who are in the US right now and i'm hearing how helpful everyone is! i mean even when i was in turkey.. you could just step up to anyone and say hello! is our society so cold and time/money-chasing that they dont give a damn abt other pple? they dont even care that people have to step out of the mrt before you come in or itll be imposisble to get out? where is basic courtesy? its really something id like to enjoy and if its going to come naturally elsewhere.. id rather get out of the country.. for gods sakes.. its really simple to be friendly!! maybe i shud just start smilling to everyone on the street.. but then, they'll think im a wacko.. sigh.. singapore.. get some REAL manners.. not some thats enforced upon u and comes out fake like giordano and courtesy campaign for bus drivers which is ahem soooooooooooo not working..

well.. its TIBS loss at the end of it.. i took the free shuttle service home cos i was so dissed by them.. suppressed the singapore need to complain to authorities so im just whining here..

mwahhaa
gay fitch aka weijie! i love you! for bringing such wonderful news to my ears! well actually ure more of a messenger but ahh i can finally put to rest a matter which i nearly died figuring out what to bid for.. ahhhhh if u were here.. id hug you already hahahah..
4 mods/sem pple.. REJOICE! now i can still have my slack mondays and thursdays..

btw.. the idiot who said JC was the hardest part of skl life is a MORON.. hahaha

heeeelppp!!

i am SO gonna die for biz law.. i zone out every 10 secs.. and zone out EVERYTIME he asks a qn.. bother bother.. icant believe pple actually wanna do law haha..

went for lunch opp great world city.. tseyi drove us there in his really HOT red mitsubishi evil! i wanna take a photo!! :D laptop is dying hums.. 3 hrs more to my next class... bah

shagged!

i havent been this mentally tired since.. A levels! had one lesson in the morning..came home and slept.. couldnt even wake myself up for dinner.. spent the rest of the night discussing The Body Shop case for assignment. and its only half done.. the amount of work we put in it.. seems so arduous.. n its only a one page thing.. personally i think we put in too much effort but hell..its the first assignment.. lets be enthu haha.. mebbe if its so great, prof will actually have good impressions of us and give us good grades in the future.. yay

overall, the lesson was pretty okay.. lots of stories and intro which made alot of pple zone out actually haha.. at least im not the only blur one ard.. :D plus i knew pple so that made things alot easier.. i hope toms one will go just as well.. even tho i seem to be one of the few idiots with the 5 hr break.. grr.. weekly movie trips here i come!!!! im gonna be damn broke tho cos of all the book buying.. its so freaking ex!!!!!! shall wait for the book allowance before i watch a movie i guess.. ill go sleep or play games then tom.. feel free to call me between 12 and 5 every wednesday... bahs..

mrt

mrt
Originally uploaded by ilihazwani.

i think this pic is really funny.. on the train to tiong bahru.. (from left) funny candid shot of weifa & lance.. steeevee with my failed attempt of bunny ears and huey woon busy messaging hehe.. part of the food trail-ers.. fun fun! (doesnt anyone else think weifa looks like Mr Incredible!? :D)

post convo

spent a whole day slacking/waiting/tying a scarf/mingling...
i feel so sad being og-less.... cudnt enjoy the after party with anyone.. so decided to leave after parents had tea.. well, vertigo didnt sound very good so hopefully i didnt miss anything hehe. .
we did look like a stewardess convention with the scarves on.. bleh.. but did find out that oh nice named one is in a fren's OG! wanted to intro online but i dont even have her msn! one day... n i forgot to bring cam so no photos darn.. dad let me drive home tho! so fun! but auto is kinda scary to drive.. i dont feel like i have enough control over the car and i like to use engine brake alot! humss.. at least my mom yawned when i drove meaning its good enough for her since shes relaxed hahaha..

interesting how the same ballroom marked the end of jc and the beginning of uni.. sigh.. im kind of scared but at least i realise i have no lesson tomorrow.. placates me a little..

and continuing with my whining
i hate sundays!
i hate stupid effing AKON which had the best timing on earth!
i hate minute region!

at least i didnt go green.. at least it didnt break into pieces.. i cant say it didnt hurt a little but it simply reminds me of what im not and what i lack. and that stings..

food trail!

was amazingly well planned. kudos to sarah, alex & steve! they planned the best food trail ever! its like an amazing food race :D it was a blast to solve the clues and go ard eating at places we would never go to before! breakfast at killeney road kaya toast then to tiong bahru market to find wally n the tiny scroll that made everyone cross eyed! then lunch at raffles city don's pies which is HALAL! terrific i love them for introduing the place! the pies are really quite good.. and drinks at mr teh tariK! yum.. ang siang hill was where the confusion began! we cudnt get the clue n had no idea where we were going and it turned out to be some place with ipoh hor fun where we cudnt even see the shop name cos it was covered.. so many grps got lost at this part.. including a really funny taxi story! then into chinatown for ahbohleng? n egg tarts? then to holland V's settlers cafe which rocks! i cant believe i never knew its existence the whole time i was in RJ! its a place to chill n play games! i love it! we played cranium (rem tt weird game tt ms wong tried to use for econs?) where we lost at the ultimate LAST step so we had to play taboo with the first team that arrived... we beat them!! at the last moment too! that was so funny! and off to essential brew which is such a terrific cosy place!! met pam tham there! hum.. we took forever to figure out the next stop was adam road food centre where we had yummy mutton soup! then since we split up, we got the guys to go to peace centre cos we thot that was where the next clue was! but we were so silly! it was actually serine center which was right opp! where we had to eat 4 scoops of ice cream using chopsticks.. there were only 3 girls to do the task there but we were amazed that we werent the last group! we coined one grp the dick lee grp since one of the guys looked like dick lee n they came just as we were finshing up.. we were cabbing to the final place at joan road which is really nice! n there was catered dinner which rocked.. n played really stupid games like yeeha n some card games.. yay the lkc pple are not bad.. i guess they are really something.. everyone was so open and frenly and we were just having alot of fun tog! so in 1 day i managed to meet 30 new pple n chatted up with abt half of that on top of the pple i already know.. thats cooL! and most of them are gonna be in my class anyway.. that rocks.....! aha! i just realised where i know one of the guys in my grp from! lance was in my first round interview grp n he was the guy with very succinct answers! ahah.. goody.. mebbe i wont feel lonely n ogless during convo after all.. :D

oh no.. would it be so wrong to say im still alil hungry now!? :X

-poofed-

just came home in the pouring rain where the roads were damn flooded.. n guess what its sunny NOW.. grr.. in chronological order-
went for floorball this morning. felt less lousy probably cos there were fewer hockey players ard and i think the guys were being gentlemanly and didnt bother stealing balls from me that much haha.. n im this aggressive girl going after every ball (when im not catching my breath which takes up most of the time) who could love this garang girl? sobs.. anyway THE nice named one came.. starting to concede tt he isnt tt cute but still the best one ard nonetheless.. n he had bomba shoes.. what devastation haha.. n im pretty sure he's not from hockey haha.

then ran off to city campus for lunch with asoc mates.. we finally stopped stoning and actually cracked a joke tt made us laugh really loud hahaa. sth abt guys carrying handkerchiefs are romantic.. :S n the most unlikeliest of guys was carrying it haha.

then rushed off again to send halima off at the airport. farewells are no fun. one vegetable member has left.. dear ubi, i'll miss u so. she should be 1 hr + in the air already.. looong flight to LA.. she looked so scared and unsure.. one step to independence.. id like to take that step too..

oh sadness.. timetable is out and it looks like this
Mon: creative thinking 12pm - 315pm
Tues: Biz, gov & society 830am - 1145am
Wed: Biz Law 830am - 1145am
Analytical Skills 515pm - 645pm
Fri: Management Accountancy 830am - 1145am

look at the humongous time in between lessons on wednesday!!!!!!! GRRR hmm mebbe dad will let me drive home n back to skl.. :D somehow i feel cheated.. other pple are only assigned 4 modules and have 3 day weeks.. im not too upset abt the earliest lesson thing since i can get a ride to skl n it makes my afternoon so very free! seriously, i have no idea what to do with the time.. does project really take up so much time!? n how am i supposed to focus in a 3 hr lesson? :S haha definitely questions i shud have thot of before entering the skl oops.. i hope they assign me 4 modules next sem so i can take up spanish.. urh.. mondays lesson is so neither here nor there.. damn.. if just i lived near skl.. blah.. im freaking annoyed

WEE! i love getting lots of mail be it e or snail

*warning: gushing bimbo entry ahead

spotted the 1st cute malay guy.. am happy!! haha.. yay n i love his name! i love all who are of that name haha.. it is a very common name.. n i prob love that name because i love the pple who are named such haha. going all silly n incoherent now.. sheesh n i havent even gotten to know him... at least this is a step away from lumut haha altho he does have some lumut-like qualities n saw cute manjen senior! who im embarrassed to admit also has fido-dido looks.. his lankiness and hair probably.. n cos this is not common ill say it in malay so not everyone understands haha.. he's got an anting-anting! n as u know im not a fan of anting-antings but it looks good on him haha.. n i loved his shirt! -lebihkan keamanan!- falala floorball tom! mebbe ill see one nice named one there! whipee!

in hungeR!

it is the FINAL week of freedom!!!!
after 8 mths of pure slacking.. it comes to an end.. ive decided from the start that i wouldnt regret doing nothing cos id rather be doing nothing than die studying.. n yes.. im gonna miss not doing anything.. smu seems to be so fully of things i actually cant help but feel all psyched up and join everything! even tho my sis warned floorball is insanely tough to pick up esp to compete agst those with hockey bkgrd! n im not that into the other sports.. i am VERY interested in samba masala tho! its so happening haha..

ahh.. im in such bliss right now.. fixed up the lappy on my desk with the VERY chio black optical mouse with blue light.. with earphones listening to radio on my favourite swivelly chair.. just a tad hungry..

went for my cousin's wife's nephew's cukur rumbur today at jalan kechot.. that bloody estate is filled with toy cars! (ie expensive beautiful 2 door shits) and the houses were like heeuge.. getting to my pt, we met the granny and immediately my sis n i thought of our own granny.. the similarities are uncanny.. n well, we miss her.. i think i have her to thank for the way ive been brought up.. a tight-knit family n a proper upbringing where there was always someone at home to take care of us.. made sure we had good food.. made sure we ate.. n someone to just shower u with attention when u needed it.. n she would massage us if we were aching.. n her antics were hilarious.. ive never lived w/o her before.. n the house feels empty w/o her.. but i always think that she's nearby taking care of us.. like a guardian angel.. id like to imagine that.. wherever i am haha one thought that did ever cross my mind was if u can travel anywhere in the afterlife, does tt mean u can travel to other countries? just a thought hehe..

nus jam & hop? or hip n jam?
was kind of lame.. people should not be sitting down at a concert.. and we shudnt be subjected to a gyrating pelvis tt was so ill fitting.. i felt like i needed garlic to shoo away a vamp..n how quaint tt she was surrounded by angmohs (who were the only ones who were willing to dance there!) so that was my orientation to the local music scene.. eic was not bad.. half of electrico songs were half dead and parking lot pimp are pimpin alright.. the girl is really good.. but i had a very BEP vibe coming off them.. cool nonetheless!

ah yes.. my first time entering NUS by public transport. thought nus was pretty ulu.. guess i was wrong haha..its not THAT ulu hahaha.. well unless i had such terrific company that the journey was a breeze.. :P n i was wrong abt the hostels too.. babas room looked cosy.. unless its the newer one n i have been deceived haha.. hums there sure are alot more angmohs/foreigners in NUS.. how come didnt see any at smu?

eurgh on a whole other issue, im peeling like crazy.. i didnt realise i was peeling that bad till ain gave me a whole -euargghh- response haha.. i was staring at the peel today and trying to figure out where the peel would end such that there wouldnt be a weird tan line or line distinguishing old and new skin.. i feel like a snake.. the only way tts gonna happen is if i shed the whole outermost skin layerrr.. :S thats not gonna be pretty or very possible.. well.. sleeves are good.. no one can tell haha.. ooh im poofed.. how am i gonna survive skl..

Pupus - Dewa
Aku tak mengerti, apa yang kurasa
Rindu yang tak pernah begitu hebatnya
Aku mencintaimu lebih dari yang kau tahu
Meski kau takkan pernah tahu

Aku persembahkan hidupku untukmu
Telah kurelakan, hatiku padamu
Namun kau masih bisu, diam seribu bahasa
Dan hati kecilku bicara

Baru kusedari cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan
Kau buat remuk seluruh hatiku

Semoga waktu akan mengilhami sisi hatimu yang beku
Semoga akan datang keajaiban hingga akhirnya kau pun mau

Aku mencintaimu lebih dari yang kau tau
Meski kau takkan pernah tahu

ocs orientation
was cheesyy! haha but i guess they try to make it as painless as possible.. i think i might be able to survive skl after all cos i realise that class contribution feels less painful when the class is actually fun and interactive and when yr teachers are human and dont make u feel small.. i mean i kinda liked the asking those bio qns after each topic in hc.. i think it made learning more meaningful..

n then we watched bewitched which was sadly not very good tho nicole kidman is so adorable. did some retail therapy at charles & keith n topshop.. yay i bought sth at topshop for 1/2 price and im loving it now.. a tshirt over halter punkrock look.. im a girl who loves the excesses.. but i wished i was slightly taller to make the top look better..

anyway, at dinner my parents started talking abt kiamat (end of the world) and how there are so many signs already.. i seriously got spooked.. but do watch out for 2 gerhanas (eclipses) during ramadhan this yr.. theres alot of talk abt how its very soon.. but soon is very relative.. soon means its nearer.. it got me thinking.. would it better if the day came when i was older.. , when i believe that i will be more prepared or now, when im in the middle of growing up.. learning to be a true muslim.. there is so much to learn and its the toughest thing to digest everything.. the history, the practices, the rationale.. the jargon! but its exciting too.. i thought mebbe i dont want kiamat to come now, cos i havent lived enough and im not prepared for the end and i feel like ive so many sins to repent for that i got so scared. but it will come at anytime.. and what relieved me alittle was when my mom said that what matters is what lies in your heart, your niat and intentions n tt is what u really are.. and u dont have to be afraid.. it would be better than to have lived a superficial life where u think tt ull learn it as u grow older but u never do.. and the thing is, you can never learn these things by books.. but i wished i could just have my own tutor where i would be comfortable to ask absolutely everything i wanted to know and break it down to me simply and truthfully. at least i have my parents... goodness.. i cant imagine relaying such information to other pple and who knows if i some day have kids?? i read somewhere that Islam gets weaker cos with every generation, there are fewer scholars to pass on the knowledge and therefore ignorance becomes so rampant.. well its very disappointing esp when less than half of a supposed Muslim country actually practices the religion..
but i have faith!
another sign of the beginning of the end is the kebangkitan (rise) Islam and i always thought that that would be an incredible time to live thru.. not to simply hear the legends and stories but to see it for yourself.. when you listen to all the stories of all the prophets, they simply sound like fairy tales.. and impossible to have happened.. so if we could live through this important chapter of life would be marvellous but i'm pretty excited of things to come.. as eery as they may be..

prob the most celebrating ive done for independence day..
altho it was for halima's surprise farewell party which wasnt so much a surprise haha..
halima met parvin's mom outside the condo lah wth.. and parvin didnt act very surprised.. haha.. nonsense.. but im full and im happy to have seen halima before she left..

arrkkkk.. people are starting to leave.. its time to camp out at changi airport!! sobs.. it just hit me that people are actually leavinggg us foreverrrr (sort of haha) n they are starting brand new elsewhere.. i partly dont want to send them off cos im half jealous haha..

i dont care.. in a years time.. it will be MY turn i WILL go overseas!!!!! its such a scary thought but such an adventure that i couldnt possibly miss out on! to all you guys leaving.. DONT miss singapore.. haha.. cos 4 years is too shorttt!! enjoy yourself fully so you'll have no regrets when those years past by.. and who knows.. i could have that european fling ive dreamt of hahaha..

have u seen gwen stefani's latest music vid called cool??
i love it cos it's everything i imagine a european fling would be.. and she's so pretty as a brunette!




n that look of absolute jealousy and devastation masked by a -imsohappyforyou- look....


cos it always ends like this...


sobs

Gwen Stefani - Cool

It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life...
Passes things get more comfortable
Everything is going right
And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain
Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool

am back after a disappointing match with chelsea..

so asoc camp.. lets just gloss thru some highlights..
i like that smu peeps are mostly very approachable and open.. or mebbe tts just the orientation part heh..
i got very high after playing 2 mins of rounders haha.. where i got to taunt laura batting.. :P which made me pretty excited to start softball.. if i can get ard to finding enough pple..
thankfully got a lift from clara out of sentosa in her really pretty alfa romeo!
scavenger hunt was pretty fun with steven enjoying wayyy too much in a bikini.. :P n the evil seniors making a guy wax their leg! n eugene pretending to be a tourguide on the shuttle bus.. that was so embarassing esp when a real sentosa staff got onto the bus.. haha.. thankful for really nice facis.. n really caring groupmates.. they'll force u to wash off anything tt bleeds haha..
amused that alot of pple have never heard of Merlin.. (and i thot my literature was bad)
and felt completely pathetic to be the only girl in the group who has never/is not attached.. its not like i really want to be but it just feels like ill never be.. and adding to the feeling of patheticness, i got really agitated with the comment that i made rgs statements ie male bashing.. to be honest, male bashing never crossed my mind until i felt like bashing up the guy who said tt.. he was just being ultra sensitive and im sorry but i really am not a fan of rgs.. i have my demons with it.. and i dont exactly like to be seen as a typical rgs girl.. still, it did upset me a little cos mebbe that could possibly be a reason im hmm.. unwanted.. i guess i wouldnt respect a guy who couldnt handle a mere tease and felt so paranoid that we were all out for feministic views and equal standing.. and its impossible to argue cos the more i do that, the more i will be seen as a strong-willed feminist. so wow.. im supposed to be more docile n shut up to prove my point? ill never be a demure, pretty, docile girl or a social butterfly and im not the other end of the spectrum where i attract people with my zest for life and everlasting enthusiasm.. i guess ill be that dented can at the back of the shelf..

gonna make a mini entry since the community shield is gonna start in a bit..

asoc camp was pretty fun! in short im burnt.. im bruised.. im happy.. haha
came home and slept for hours before waking up still abit sore and achy.. but group 7 is a great bunch.. who love to gamble and love hydrating ourselves with large amts of water thru indian poker.. who would think our bunch of stoners would come in first on the 1st day and 3rd overall.. who would have thot we wud come in first for the night games ahah.. even our facis were surprised haha.. but at least im happy that i chose to go for the one camp that turned out to be fun.. and the great thing was debriefs were no longer than 2 mins each time haha.. yay.. who said accountants were boring.. :P

but *rawr* to a certain estupido chico who caused us lots of injuries and another ultra sensitive chico who thot i kept making rgs-like statements.. grrr

So i apparently look 17 or perhaps even younger..
:( i have such a childish face.. but trying to take it into stride that I'd be very pleasantly complimented in abt 30 years time.. ( if i live that long :) about 3 people in the past 2 days commented how young i look.. sigh! i think its the cheek fat.. i need to do some serious cheek exercises.. hums since smiling uses more muscles i guess thats a good exercise hahaa.. so when im looking stupid and if u think im flirting with u.. no worries.. im just working off those cheek fats.. :P geez.. actually all parts of me need working out.. im actually aching from like 5 mins of floorball? im sooo embarassed.. im gonna be dead on sat.. after 2 days of apparently solid running during ASOC camp in sentosa aeekss.. help!

FINALLY met up with joon today.. i hate her.. she's officially taller than me now.. that biatch! haha.. she was supposed to come over at 1 for lunch.. but someone overslept.. the worst part was that she continued to sleep after telling me that she will be late! *rolls eyes* so i only met her at like 240!! almost 2 hours late.. thats officially the longest ive waited for someone.. well not that i wasnt busy doing the laundry n bumming ard the house haha.. well at least it prolonged hunger for our sushi buffet!! arks.. im still so full from it.. im not gonna be touching sushi for a very long time... mebbe just sashimi.. the sight of rice just makes me wanna puke! n junwan eats crazy fast! i was struggling to break even with the price we paid!! but it came with ice cream for dessert so it was worth it haha.. gosh being around her reminded me of how lovably silly she is and how real it is that my frens are leaving! well its only a few years but still.. uniform wearing, rule bending days are over! no more organised fun for us.. :( heh.. dont u think organised fun sounds incredibly singaporean.. im gonna miss her..

hah tonight was tv marathoN! the best lineup of shows ive had in a long time! missed friends at 730.. but there was one tree hill thats just awesome! n i cant believe sophia bush n chad michael murray are married.. its so rachelbilson&adambrody-ish.. forgive me for being so shallow n superficial.. but wth its enjoyable! then there was rockstar INXS.. i totally love Mig and Marty.. the rest suck.. I thot marty butchered the song tonight .. apparently the judges didnt think so.. its so unfun when theres no simon cowell to pick on every detail.. but well id rather watch rockers audition than mainstream droning AI..

then finally watched the last episode of cinta internet where we saw khai overact.. making me cringe like crazy.. n exclaim that our juniors could have done a better job!! im sure jauhari in laila made a better lovesick puppy than khai haha.. n iylia would be wonderful too! hell.. bomba prob would have done a better job hahaha.. i mean are there really so few pple who wanna be actors or are they not cute enough for the role?! my dad was all for azhar norlesta which i agree would make every girls knees weak :) and yes the script on the singapore side was so awful! the choice of words are just so jarring.. acting next to the indos.. feel so inferior! so much that suria has to work on!

aha and next was the fun one! theres this show on discovery travel & living (which has become the family's fav channel) called faking it.. where some people have a month to learn something completely different and sth they have never done before and go to a panel of judges together with other pros and try to fake it! there doesnt seem to be any material benefits coming out of it if u manage to fake it successfully but its all fun to watch.. tonight, this pretty tall fat gruffy guy faked being a male model! he looked so awful in the beginning, but with the miracles of a haircut and exercise they actually made him look pretty good.. (i want a makeover too!) but he was struggling in terms of expressing his emotions on the camera.. but he made a pretty good catwalker haha.. and i would never had thot he could fool the judges but all 3 judges pick other pple!!!! dunno why this supposed pro kept walking out of the catwalk! but he looked totally metrosexual oozing sexiness and all.. n they picked him to be the fake.. how interesting.. any o how.. one of the male judges was really hot haha.. ay that is what a male model is supposed to be like hahah.. not beefcake at all too.. n the behind the scenes of the catwalk was so funny.. one guy was all girly and said 'people! dont get out of your lines! please!' with that stereotypical gayness! these pple actually exist!!! haha

ay.. meanwhile.. still trying to learn spanish.. the grammar is killing me! the words keep changing for every single thing! grrrr! so i have to memorise a whole lotta things before i can be successful at this! geez im still having grammatical problems with english and malay.. this is gonna be a disaster haha.. however this linguistically challenged person shall press on! Meanwhile, hasta la vista! (be seeing you!)

so went for floorball this morning.. people were pretty great except I realised that i SUCK at the sport.. well at least i dont have to worry abt cca points and getting into the team etc etc anymore.. mebbe ill just be a bum and be ccaless hehe.. came back home where i got a good 2 hr nap next to my cat doing the same thing.. haha.. she was lying on her back perfectly straight.. she looked more tired than i did for some reason.. then went back out for asoc dinner.. it was ok i guess.. found out tt one of the facilitators live practically opposite me..

all was fine until tonight..
until someone spoke to me the truth that i didnt want to see
and when i realised the years ahead of me will be a challenge. its pre jitters.. there are so many worries and so many things that i dont see myself as but have to live thru cos i chose this.. im getting myself so scared that ill fail, that i made a wrong choice..my dreams are so much different from my reality and i see that now.. i've always chosen things that gave me buffer zones.. but now i have none.. and im freaked out.. i feel like finding a way out but its too late.. i dont want to fail.. ive gotta suck it up and carry on.. hopefully there is a reason to all of this..

I feel completely incapable of having an intellectual conversation or entry.. hah when did i ever? I'm whiny.. so bear with me.. :)

Vivace'd yesterday.. so I concluded that I either have a dao face or don't look freshmen cos people in general dont approach me hehe.. not that its a bad thing to look like a senior.. hehe or mebbe i look like i dont belong to the skl.. hums.. well thats fine with me.. signed up for floorball n womens soccer.. :S n ooh samba masala.. funky bunch.. n malay soc gave cookies.. yum! so I'm wondering if I should go for floorball training tomorrow.. it's so fast! and they technically didnt tell me abt it.. shiqin told me but i did get a missed call that i assume was them haha since i signed up just after her.. I hope my fitness hasnt deteriorated that badly and my sports sense is still working..

hums.. for the antisocialite that i am, i certainly am glad that siti fathimah and asilah are in smu.. feels like family.. :) and met eleina who is so chio and sweet.. haha