back from the dead

I can't sleep. Cause there are so many things in my mind. You me. And all me. And them. Haiya. Bulan puase ni. Byknye test.

post ns

haven't been dolling up this blog for quite awhile. thee spam shit on my taggie is totally an eyesore. omg. stop it already.

well. been wait. exactly yeah. been 1 month since I've orded. you know what. I miss being a fireman. the family feeling. the adrenaline rush dangs. well, my time is up. but it's good to be seeing some of them niggas once awhile. heading back to stn tmr for a farewell dinner with arep sens and pandi.

so one month has come and gone. I've been working it out at tbar. well, it's alright just that the hours aren't as many I'd preferred. need the ka$hingsx for the blingsz man. the rest of the week are filled up with lan gamings, amira, nnn and the rest. caught up with colinn. planning for a backpack trip to anywhere. we'll see. who knows.

so, one month. I think like as of now, I have not been pretty good. ladyy luck took a turn on me. been down since last week. first of all, paternal grandad passed away and I saw the whole thingy. you know. old people old sickness. just that we aren't that close so yeahh, quite fine actually. Al Fatihah goes to Allahyarham Abdullah Bin Mohd Ali. well, post events are as shitty. irrics people making a fool of themselves at the funeral. we kiddos just playing around with the baby goonsss.

other than the unfortunate event, my app for the asst teacher got rejected. degree in teaching rejected. diploma rejected. now assistant also rejected. wth. well I'd say this shit saddens me the most cause its my future here and I hate it when it's not of any certainty, yet. damnn. in addition to that, I've been making sins and my fugly face aren't helping. if all these are the way it should be for my misdeeds then I'm sorry. been in self doubt mode ever since.

but, came across tumblrrs telling us how do we do stuff and imma adhere. pray.

and pray and execute. and hope. that's the three basic life principles my uztad came up with. talking of which, things weren't that prettayy recently at home. well. it's over and done with so let's hope theee monsters run far away.

so, as of now, I think I feel kinda better. just got off the phone with amira and it didnt go pretty well. I'm sorry. I just needed time for myself. I love you. and yeah of course, we've been 37 months together. which i hope you know, things could go the way we do it in fantasy land.

gonna do my mind a favor and smoke a stick, wash up and head to bed. tmrs gonna be a better day. that's how quotes do them right? have to plan things out tmr and the day after. can't be selling shirts all my life. my slangszxz is like so cool right for this post. yeahh. a new thing. just trying it out. dev's style you know.

the sun out of this darkness are this upcoming bkk trip Imma have with sr people and prolly around sept/oct when imma be the best or second best that is, uncle in the world. but keep your mouth shut cause no one knows it yet. nobody knows fourintwoone exists though so yeah. don't start spamming my fb. I can't wait cause I love kids ill name her aliyah if it's a her. and let's pray for all to be good and safe.

ORD OH!!!!

Some would have like to see the back of ns but I think I just had an amazing 2 years to see it go. Let's see. I had a tough 6 months over at cda. And my next 16 months were spent in amk fs.

Ers. Cda. I remembered I cried on the first night cause it was a terrible first day in camp! Nabei cb. I got a culture shock sia. Hahaha. Then a came, b passed by and c followed. Bla bla bla. Highlights would be.. I peed in my leggings cause I cannot tahan! Que's bf was my instructor so mcm sometimes close one eye. Hehe. My specs melted, literally cause I dropped it at a stimulator which was burning. We were fasting when we had our exercises. Friendships made with people like Hafith, Hairil, Abg Long, Shuib, Syafiq especially. Still, the rest did enough to leave a mark in my heart.

Then amk fs was my destination. Posted there with Affandi and Iliyas. Hmm.. Highlights were.. 6 buses on fire in the middle of the night, which when we thought about it now, it's like, okayy, whatever. Lalang fire which we were required to spend our night in the middle of the jungle, which was behind the longkang besar behind serangoon sec sane sia! Da. Itu je. The rest of the fire calls, mcm okay je. Then rescue calls.. Locked door byk gile. Always happened when im with the same crew. Recently, nyonya punye whole right arm till the ketiak there got stuck in the you know, rumah punye longkang kecik yang selalu ade kat toilet. Lobang kecik tu. Lagi ape eh. I think like that only ah. Okay now tributes to... Alan Lim, Alan Tan, Ernest Ong. Then to Lutfhi, Tan and Yazeed. Then to Azman Petot. Padahal ni sume supervisor aku. Haha. Then to Hamid, Ah Cai, Sudirman, Othman, Shafeer, Ajit, Hus, Idros, Xavier, Iznan, Sadik, Zul, Shawn and Yim. Then to firemen like, Shahboy, Along, Walter, Uzair, Walid, David, Hubert, Jai Ho, Amir Sakai, Wang, Rijuvan. Okay. All these senior aku. Special mention goes to Haizad, Yank, Pandi, Firoz and Arep. Then junior akuu yang aku smlm belanje nasi lemak, Khairul Legong, Salihin, Fir, Man, Matan, Fred, Hadi, Amin, YanS, Huang, Faiz, Zack, Shah, Dan, Liu. K thank you very much. Xoxo. Tapi yang junior some mcm cock. Yang senior pon same. Tapi Lup them lots. Xoxo. Bye...

3years has come and gone. thats how long we've been together and like what some of you might know, ours isn't the best you could find. we've had, lots of problems. both internal and external, local and international. who remembers the feeling of which, you know, the first few weeks of your relationship, or the courtship, or the you know, whatever. I had it a couple of days ago. I liked it. Enjoyed it. And she capped it off by sending flowers, chocolates and a letter right to my stn. how nice was that? guess I've to come down to st hilda's for hers O.o

And tonight is my last night at amk. I can't sleep:( 16 months here has changed me. Forged new friends. Made enemies. You name it. We had it. Let's not talk about fires and rescues. I think I'm going to miss them. Especially people like the co gang. Batt's 3%. Gonna end it here. Maybe this is how we end it. I've too much to say. But couldn't express it totally. Goodbye amk. Goodbye friends. Goodbye bros.