And yet again..

I don't know why, but I think it's happening all over again, that is me liking Serine again. Sigh. Somehow, our conversations online have become more meaningful and it's just sort of triggered a reaction in me.

On a side note, Shu'en, I've yet to tell you, but the girl that I started liking is Peiyan. Then again, she seems the bubbly kind without having any physical, mental or spritual connection or attachment to anything. It's sort of this aspect of her character that kind of attracts me to her. But still, there's so much about her that I don't know, it seems hard that anything will ever happen. At the end of the day, it might all be a crush. A plain ol' simple crush. Haha.

Anyway, back to Serine, she was telling me about her meeting with her classmates, about how they always ask her the same old things whenever they meet. Well, by "same old things", with my superior deduction and inferential skills, I'm thinking that it means whether she has a boyfriend, whether there's anyone she likes, or likes her, etc, etc. Okay anyway, she also asked me whether she looks like the kind who will be attached too. I didn't answer her, well not because I didn't want to, but because I was in Dota. :p Haha. Oh well, I don't know what to take of this. I'm afraid of making too large a mistake with my superior inference. Although it seems unlikely, but I still hope for the best. :)

Laziness to blog

I've really become rather lazy recently. Blogging now seems more of a chore than a good way for the archival of memories. I've decided that I shall not do any more recollections of the past. It's just too troublesome.

The most recent thing that happened was last Saturday. After band prac, I met up with Serine for dinner. We ate at Ajisen Ramen. Well, you couldn't really consider that a dinner because she only ate like 5 prawn fritters. I had the Tom Yam Ramen which was pretty good. Not exactly Thai style but it still tasted quite good. Serine gave me my birthday present then as well. It was this unique designer glass. Cool! Must really be pretty expensive though. Expensive but useless. The best combination. Anyway, it wasn't very exciting over dinner. I think I'm beginning to find it difficult communicating well with her after accepting the fact that she doesn't like me and that I've finally given up. Not that I could actually give up. I know somewhere deep down, I still like her a lot. Just that my anger, disappointment, resentment, etc. is pushing that part further from me. I'm weak, I know it and I can't help it.

Part 5: 30 July, First Alumni Prac, Raffles Re-winds

It was the first alumni prac for the new concert, Coda Raffles Re-winds. Been talking quite a lot with Peiyan, so we discussed and decided to meet up for lunch before the practice started. We had ban mian at S-11! Very nice. A good hot meal on a cold rainy day is heavenly. We talked about lots of stuff. From our futures to nothing and everything in between. It was a fairly comfortable first lunch I had with Peiyan, the mood was light, the weather was nice, the food was good.

Alumni practice was a disaster. There were so few people around and I didn't warm up properly. And that caused me to be tired quickly. The pieces that were tried were also crazily difficult. 7th Night of July (Tanabata), Highlights from Chess, Phantom of the Opera, some 9-11 piece (major trumpet parts), Carmina Burana, Alvamar Overture, etc. Really, really tiring for me to play first throughout. But it was fun to hold my instrument again after a period of inactivity since A Tempo.

Went to eat afterwards with Yahui and her seniors. I like Yahui (as a person), but her seniors were just a little weird for me. We had dinner at Thai Express and I ordered the pineapple rice (which was great), but it wasn't as good as the one Yahui ordered (olive rice and chicken, something like that).

We parted our ways soon after. Yahui came over to my place and I tried teaching her how to play Warcraft 3. But to no avail, she fell asleep instantly because she had like stayed up the past 2 nights playing World of Warcraft with Huawei. She slept rather long before we finally ate the prawn mee that my parents left me for dinner and then she went home.

All in all, quite a fun weekend. On to Part 6..I'm still way behind the present..sheesh.

Part 4: Unknown date, Revelations

It seemed that I was really snappy after the karaoke session. I just started getting irritated with lots of people, notably Serine. We had another conversation again about how she wouldn't want to be in a relationship with me, saying that it's better that we remain friends, how we can't go out because she has no time, how she would like to have time but she has no choice, how she doesn't think that people have to meet up often to remain friends. The argument sort of began from there. I think I was asking her to go to the zoo on 6 Aug but I put it in a way where I thought that she wouldn't be free. Although she said yes (which happened to catch me by surprise), I decided after the full conversation that she's not the person I want to go out with. I mean, I like her and I want to go out with her, anywhere. For her, she's probably just going out with me because she wants to go to the place and I happened to be convenient. I could have been selfish in my decision. But I just feel I can't click with someone who doesn't have the same goals as me.

That was the minor part of what I was enlightened on from the conversation. From this conversation, I just felt that our goals in life are different, vastly different. She's someone who wants to succeed in her career, and that's it. I should have seen that earlier, but I was oblivious to it because I really did like her and I thought that she would be able to see her what I see when I showed her my world. Apparently, that was not to be the case. Or rather, we didn't go far enough where she would take my goals seriously. Although she claims that we're good friends. I just feel that we know so little about each other, with her unwilling to open up, maybe because she doesn't want me to think even further ahead.

Ahh. So it seems that we would still remain the level of acquaintances, periodically helping each other out me helping her out when she needs my assistance. Rather disappointing it is, to finally give up on a girl whom I really did like for a really long time. But this resolution probably is for the best.

Part 3: 22 July, Karaoke

Karaoke..

I was beginning to like it. The best thing was Karen (my colleague) said that I could sing quite well. Honestly, I think I've quite a horrible voice. Irritating to an extent. Sexy..I really want it to be. But well, I can't really help it that my voice sounds so highly excited and child-like.

The session was fun though. I sang plenty of Chinese songs, which probably explains why I'm listening to Chinese songs now. How rare really. Oldies are kind of my favourites too. Stuff like..Seasons in the Sun (ooh I absolutely love this), It's My Life , Tell Laura I Love Her, songs that I listened to when I was young. Really brought back memories.

I could sing the song now.

Goodbye Papa, please pray for me.
etc.

Haha. I can't remember the lyrics! But it's a really nice song. Anyone who reads this, highly recommended to get these songs.

Onto Part 4! This is nevery-ending. I gotta blog more frequently, I'm forgetting the things that have happened.