The internet connection finally came back up on Tuesday afternoon and things started to heat up on Wednesday and Thursday. Haha. The past week has been slack, which is probably still and understatement, and the work came back fast and furious. Still, it's been a rather uneventful week and it culminated with Boss giving a treat at Thai Express on Friday after the visit. I ordered quite a lot of stuff though. Ate till I couldn't really eat anything else. Haha. Tried to take a bus from Tiong Bahru to NUH, but it backfired badly. I got kinda lost and the bus took really long getting there. But I managed to rush home early enough, got changed and rushed out again for the SAF Central Band concert.

Now, the concert. James Barnes is really one of my favourite composers, maybe on par or just slightly behind Johan de Meij. Fantasy Variations played by the band was almost perfect and sounded really incredible. But alas, it had to end with Symphony No. 5 and I totally dislike symphonies of any kind. Junjie sent us back after that, he got his driver's license on his first try. But he forgot to turn off the headlights before going for the concert and by the time we got to his car, the batteries were flat and he couldn't start up the engine. Fortunately, there was a kind samaritan who aided us with a jumper cable. Took slightly more than an hour to repair the problem but at least it was done. We were really fortunate though. There were lots of drivers who didn't have the cable and Cassandra and Shumei had actually given up asking before I thought that if we don't try we won't know. So, I approached this couple and, thank the heavens, they had the jumper cable and were willing to help.

So I say, my dears, that we should always try if there is a slight chance that it may succeed. If you don't try, the chance of success is zero. If you try, it's at least anything more than zero. This all came from The Success Principles. When I was asking the couple, that was exactly what I was thinking of.

*I think this post is quite boring. I just don't really feel like blogging now.*

Went shopping this morning. Wanted to get the iPod Mini at $250 but it was all sold out when I got to the Apple Centre@ Wheelock at 11.15am. Well, at least I managed to save that $250. I bought other stuff though. I got this really nice long sleeve shirt from Guess that was on a 50% sale. The usual price was $97! Fricking expensive! It's stuff like this that are really definitely worth buying. But at $47.95, it's still pretty expensive. At least it's Guess.

I think that's it for the week. Taa~

She's finally left for Cambodia today. Should be back on 16 June and I can't wait for that day to come. Over the past few days, we've been talking quite a bit. Somehow, I feel that we've gotten a little closer. But sometimes, it's only in the direction of friends. I don't know, really. This has been a really confusing period for me. I just don't know how to go about this anymore. What are the choices that I should make? What are the right choices I should make. What does my heart think. Will my heart think differently again in maybe a few months or years time? Does the heart and mind mature?

I think I've been a jerk in the past. It's just so easy for me to just have a crush on any girl with a cute face, regardless of their personality. Was I that desperate then? Maybe. Probably. I was desperate and I will not be anymore. Why do I need to look presentable when I go out then? So that others can look at me and say, "Wow, look at that cool guy. He looks pretty cute too!" Haha. I think I'm quite deluded. Most people don't think about others. They are too busy thinking about themselves and what other people think about them. I probably fall into that category. So, I've to quit it.

Start afresh, I say.

Friday was a great day. Okay, the morning was pretty slack and boring. But I had a badminton session with Hong Ming, Cassandra, Karen and Debra! Fun! Okay, the girls pretty much sucked and Hong Ming is practicallly good in all games. Haha. I'm quite alright lah. Just that I didn't have that much strength to hit the shuttle cork from one end to the other. Somehow, I really envy badminton players like Hamon and tennis players like Jensen. I'm not really a badminton player, so I'd really love to excel in tennis. I AM a fantastically talented tennis player.

Kino is having their sale over the weekend, some Vesak day special sale or whatever. I bought quite a lot of books. My total bill was over $90, but the 20% discount cut it to about $77 i think. Cool! I bought this tennis book that I thought was really good the last time I read it. It's called "Play Better Tennis in 2 hours". And another 2 business books or whatever kind you label them. They are "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell and "The Wisdom of Crowds" by James Surowiecki. Thought they were pretty cool the previous time I picked them up as well. Bought about $30 worth of magazines as well. Men's Health, FHM, Maxim and Tennis. Tennis is really expensive though. It's $9.92! Wow!

Yesterday was a fun day. Ruxin, Yahui, Yale and Dennis came over to play tennis. But unfortunately, it was raining and we switched to squash and table tennis. Haha. It was fun though. We pretty much all sucked at squash but I was still quite good at table tennis. Probably not as good as say 1 or 2 years back. But definitely better than all the rest. Haha. Can't wait to play with Shanon again, both tennis and table tennis. We had dinner after that. Dennis left to join his friends and the rest of us headed for J8. Wen't to Sakae Sushi first as Yahui had a craving for Ramen. But the queue was rather long so we headed to Thai Express. We waited for about 10-15min before we got a table. Placed our orders and had to wait like 20min before they came. Meanwhile, we started a number guessing game. I pretty much sucked at it as I kept having to eat chilli, which was the forfeit for being the one to guess the correct number. It was pretty fun. I ordered Fire Noodles, which was really fiery. Initially, it wasn't that hot but kept getting hotter and hotter the more I ate. Haha. But I successfully finished it. Walked about after dinner and left for home after the shops closed, one by one.

Soccer started when I got home. Arsenal vs Man Utd in the FA Cup Final. The game was truly exciting. Every moment was lived on the edge of my seat. Man Utd hit the woodwork twice and had some glorious chances. But their wastefulness made them pay as the game petered out to a goalless stalemate. Extra time and penalties ensued. Man Utd lost 5-4 as Scholes missed the second spot kick. Arhhh. Sometimes, life just isn't fair. When you put in so much effort, you still end up with nothing. When you don't do anything about it, things just keep going your way.

A sad day this Sunday. How long will this cup final live on in my memory?

I realise I've not blogged in a really long time. Well, I've been really busy over the past few days/ weeks.

Malcolm has finally left, though i had the pleasure/ displeasure of meeting him at Suntec City last Thursday night after my Jap lessons. Derrick's the new officer that has come in. He's a pretty nice chap, capable as well. I'll probably have a much better life from now than in the torturous past year.

Another new assistant has come in as well to take over Jamie. She's Karen. She's rather pretty, 23 years old, and married with a kid. Haha. Amazing. I wonder why some people are getting married so early and having kids just as early. Isn't it the trend to postpone marriage and having kids? What happened to career coming first?

About her. No updates. I was pretty close to telling myself that I want to and should give up and go for someone else. But then again, there's no one to go for. Those that I currently know do not interest me in the slightest bit. I mean, there's just no romantic attraction. Maybe, in future, I will have. But still, whenever I talk to her or see her or whatever, there's just that tingling feeling that she's the one I want to be with. I don't know. Maybe, I'm holding on too much to the past or something.

I had quite a lot to say yesterday actually. But right now, everything just seems blank as i while away the hours before sleep and Monday and another week. It's going to be a tough week next week with tuition coming fast and furious. It's just quite disappointing that I won't make any money in June when the school holidays start. I just hope my students do well in their exams and not waste their parents money.

Cheers to a great week ahead. :)

I was just thinking to myself the other day, why do people get attached. People of the ages say 12-16/17? Is a future really possible for people who get together at these ages? Unlikely. So, I was thinking, is it a social status? Is it such a cool thing to be able to say to your friends, "Hey, I've got a girlfriend/ boyfriend!"

I think I'm pretty dumb too, in that sense. Will I really have a future with her? Highly unlikely as well. Even in university, if her reason is to study, then it would definitely not work out at all. When she starts out in the workforce, she'll be surrounded by guys, guys who are richer, older, in high positions, probably better than me in a hundred ways.

Or let's say, they need companionship? At such an age? Impossible. People need friends more than a partner. Friends to stick by them in times of need, to grow up together with, to experience life-changing experiences with.

So what am I thinking. Do I really need a relationship now? in 2 years? in 5 years? I probably need to grow up and see the truth. What will having a girlfriend bring me? Love? Probably, but devotion as well? I don't need that right now. Commitment? Hey, I'm still young. Although, committing to myself to a relationship isn't a tough thing, but can it really be mutual and work out? The trouble probably is with my attitude to be satisfied with current situations. Being a perfectionist is definitely not a good thing. I';; definitely have to learn to be happy, contented with what I have and what I will get. Sigh, a disturbing thought. Something that invalidates my current existence so far.

Do I exist? Or do I live. Can I say that I've lived my life the past 19 years or so. Have I lived or have I merely existed in this so-called world. Is this just a passing dream? Will I wake up one day and find that the life I've been living so far is void and meaningless? Where can I find meaning to my existence? Where can I get a life, a real life?

So many questions, so little answers.

My Wish List (updated 1 May 05)

1. IBM Laptop
2. iPod 20Gb
3. Wilson Tennis Racket n Series
4. Fossil Watch
5. Casio Exilim Digital Still Camera

I was shopping with Karen yesterday when I suddenly realised that one of my regular shopping partners would no longer be regular. Yeah, Shu'en, I just suddenly felt a sense of loss that you weren't in Singapore anymore. How many girls are there, really, that I'm close with? This would probably date back to the times in JC when I joined band knowing that the people I would know would definitely not be many. Besides, having a class such as mine, well, I can just say that it's a little sad. But more importantly, it's probably myself. I just don't seem to be able to make friends easily. Or rather, my friends drift.

I bought a nice pair of 3/4s from Topman. It was expensive though. At $69, it didn't seem worthy enough to command such a hefty price tag. But it was comfortable and it fit just right. So, I guess it was probably worth it in other ways.

Saw a nice bag there too, a nice cap and a nice shirt. Decided to get those when Topman's having their sale in June. I just hope the stuff won't get bought soon. I'm going to shop a lot on the first day of their sale. Better save up money now! Haha.