Today's the first year anniversary of my NS liability! Amazing. I've really come a long way since 23 Apr 04.

Yearbook 2005

Apr 04 - Enlisted on 23 Apr 04. Underwent Basic Military Training at BMTC, Pulau Tekong. Lasted 7 weeks.

Jun 04 - Posted to MINDEF PAFF after BMT. First 3 weeks spent preparing for MINDEF Volunteers' Dinner.

Jul 04 - Scheduled for ACL reconstruction surgery on 2 Jul 05. Unbearable pain suffered.

Sep 04 - Returned to work on 23 Sep 04 after a close to 3 month MC.

Apr 05 - Endured crap from everywhere. Seen 2 officers from PRB leave.

And a new year starts. Let's hope it'll be as good as the best ever.

:)

My Wish List

1. IBM Laptop
2. Apple iPod 20Gb
3. New watch
4. Canon Ixus

Sushi buffet!! Gosh, it was great. Finally the long awaited sushi buffet at Suki sushi with Shu-en came true. Haha. First thing, I kinda expected a lot more after her continuous praising of the soft shelled crabs, etc. But in the end, it was only the soft shell crabs and lobster maki that were really good. I mean, good as in something that seems to be worth more than $4.90 per dish.

Honestly, I didn't really like the soft-shelled crabs that much actually. They were fricking deep-fried and dripping with oil, imagine the amount of calories and cholesterol. I had one entire soft shelled crab all to myself! Gosh! The lobster maki (should be a maki) was good though. It was wrapped in a slice of salmon sashimi. But somehow, the lobster just felt like prawn. The salmon sashimi was good though. Unfortunately, we only had one plate because Shu-en didn't really like raw stuff. We tried this raw scallop too. Bleah. That was a total disaster. Tasted like crap, indeed. Yuck. We had 3 plates of ikura sushi too. It was this sushi with large salmon eggs on it and those exploded when you bit them. It wasn't that nice, just that it was really easy to eat for a $4.90 dish. 2 plates of yakitori were also downed. They were not bad, at least better than the ones they serve at Tori-Q. What else, what else? Plates of ebi maki and unagi maki too. Those were really quite a lot for us. But we managed to tackle them. I guess that's about it for all. We spent $42.50 and ate in excess of $100. Though, I'm sure the restaurant still earns quite a lot from this. Buffets are really sucky. You force yourself to eat a lot and you don't really enjoy all the food in the end. Also, it really costs a lot to torture youself. Shu-en and I agreed that we shall never have another buffet together in our lives.

We saw a nice watch at Fossil today! It was a square-faced watch. Very classy and professional. Leather strap, making it look mature. For the formal and casual occasion. I'm thinking of buying it. Fell so in love with it. Just that the price is a little inhibiting. Why should I splash $135 on something that I already have and isn't spoilt or damaged yet. My Swatch has really come a long way with me, maybe I just shouldn't desert it..yet.

It was a good day yeah. Section dinner's been organised, but has been moved to Saturday, which is my mum's birthday. I wonder if I can make it. Serine, well, she probably couldn't.

:)

I'm really quite sick of being me. Is it destined for me to lead a life like this or has my time not come yet? Honestly, I've never felt as though I've had it good at all. Anything I've achieved feels like a forced result from my own hard work. Not that life isn't supposed to be about working hard, but when can I get a lucky break? When can I ever say to myself "that was really lucky"? Is luck really a factor in life? Do I not have that factor?

She just messaged me, to tell me that she won't be able to see me this Saturday. I kinda expected it though. I'm probably used to her erratic schedule. Last minute cancellations and stuff. Well nothing new. The disappointment as well, not new you know. When can I tell myself that it's the last straw, that enough is enough, that I don't want to have anything more to do with her, that I don't want to take this anymore, that I deserve better. Why is my heart so firmly set in place? Why do things always turn out this way for me? Will I even be happy if we get together?

I feel like kicking something. Let me cool down, and don't do this to me again, please.

:(

I realise I suck at Japanese. Totally. I really need to get down to some serious studying. Hmmm. So I've been thinking. Maybe I should take Saturday to sit down somewhere, maybe a library or something, and get down and familiarise myself with all things Jap.

Can this plan really work? I mean, hey, I do have better things to do on Saturday right? Like go out with friends and stuff. Now that alumni is finally over, I should have more time to myself, to have fun, to do the things that I like. Hmmm. I don't know. Japanese is really something I want to excel in. And currently I'm not. I've got to do something about it.

:?

It really is crap. How can I be having piles just a few days before the concert! Arhh. This is embarassing. Haha. But it really is pain. That growth there, right at a place where so many nerves are at. Dammit. I must really be down on my luck. But anyway, enough about that. I just want it to heal and get it over with.

Let's go about things in a reverse chronological order.

Yesterday was my dad's birthday. My sis brought us to this restaurant at Swissotel called The Market Cafe. This restaurant serves Peranakan cuisin. Not that I'm an avid fan of this cuisine, but it was seriously smacking good. It was buffet style at $36.80+++ so it had better be. For starters I had rojak and tahu goreng..not my favourites but still alright I guess. Next came some slimy jellyfish. It tasted like shit, like I was slurping worms. They were bright red and totally disgusting. Fortunately, I didn't take much of that, so I only suffered the agony for about 3 slurps. There were fresh oysters too and those tasted great, unlike those pathetic imitations from Marriot (or Meridien) Hotel. There was tomyam soup too and that was great. But I didn't drink much of it because of the pain in the ass. The crayfish was also fantastic but I didn't have too much either. Next was dessert and fruit. There was this fruits on a crispy crust that was fantastic. Didn't catch the name but I ate it anyway. I wouldn't mind going back there but it's really quite expensive. Sigh!

I bought my dad a Pierre Cardin wallet. It was on offer at $46 and it's almost perfect. Haha. I wish I had one like that too. But my current Pierre Cardin from my mum is almost just as good. So not complains there. My sis gave me a shirt too. It's quite a cool shirt and the front reads "Do not use cats as shark bait". Purrrfect. I really hate cats by the way.

The stupid trip to Pulau Tekong was crap. The programme was really thrown out of the window and we were late by an hour! Believe that. One whole fricking hour. I'm not going to blame anyone here. Don't want whatever I say here to be used against me. Haha. You can't be too careful you know. The dry run on Friday was just as crap. I realised something as well. He's really very uptight when events come, thinking that the world will come crashing down and everything's going to screw up. If it screws up, it will, and you can't really predict all the ways that it's going to. You never know, you might be driving halfway and a cat runs out of the bushes and you bang it down. You drive off hurriedly but you're seen by a cat-loving idiot who reports you to the "I'm a stupid cat-lover" Society and you get sued. Things like this, you just can't prevent. Luck? Or bad luck? Yeah, you better believe it man.

The other days weren't that memorable. I can't really remember much just that I was pretty happy that he was going to leave. So I tried treating him a little nicer. A little, yeah. Not as if I'm not nice to him in the first place.

She's going to have her exams soon. Like tomorrow. Been talking to her the past few days. She's quite open now, not really just turning me away at the first opportunity. I don't know, I hope this relationship has the potential to go far. But it's still early to say anything. I'll just hope for the best you know.

Curse the ass. :\

I don't know how I came to love tennis so much. Gosh. It really is such an amazing sport. How did I even come to support Roger Federer? Haha. I vaguely recall watching a match on ESPN/ Starsports at my sister's place at Bishan in 2003. And I just felt that Federer was cool. Told Shanon about it and he agreed. Haha. So that was how tennis actually started for me. But I didn't really follow up with the interest though. It was moreof a "hey, there's tennis now, let's watch" kind of thing. But I'm still glad I've found something I really like now. Oh by the way, it was a magnificent match although I slept at 4.15am. Federer was imploding but managed to come back and win. I feel sad for Nadal though after he played some really magnificent and spectacular tennis. I absolutely have to master tennis!

:)

It's been quite a good week so far. Work has been pretty fine although it started off poorly. There are still many things that he forces me to do that are trivial and a complete waste of time. Time is a precious commondity. I've never felt this way before, until now. It's really all pretty cool. I think April has started off great, at least in a different way that March began. Now, at least the damned month is over.

Roger Federer's into the finals of the Nasdaq-100 Open and he's going to play my namesake, Rafael Nadal. Honestly, I think he looks pretty spastic, his face and everything. Haha. I really do hope Federer wins, there's something about Nadal that I don't particularly like.

Chatted a little with her on Tuesday I think. It's hard to admit but it's indeed her who convinced me to continue taking Japanese. There's just so much about her that I admire and like. Her easy-going personality, her ambitious nature, her determination, her motivation, her focus and countless others. Hmm, finally she's going to be free for 6 days in April after her exams well and she asked me out on a day between the 19th and 24th, when she'll be flying off to Cambodia. Amidst my busy schedule, I've hardly thought about her anymore. I don't think I've even thought about asking her out for about a month already. I don't know, really, the hope is dying but not completely extinguished. Will it ever? Will I ever be able to put her out of my heart? Will I be able to love another the same I love her? Can I really say that I love her? There's so much uncertainty about the future. On one hand, I feel the anticipation and the excitement, on the other, I feel afraid of what it will hold in store for me. My head is confused, but my heart isn't, I'm sure.

Hmmm. I think in future, I shouldn't pen down my thoughts about her first, because now, I don't really feel like blogging anything else. Oh yeah, Blink is a really good book. It's interesting without getting heavy and hard to understand.

Sometimes, it's just crazy how you can suddenly lose interest in something. I don't know if it's happening to me. This competitiveness streak in me can almost kill. Why am I so obsessed about being the best. How is it that I can appear so nonchalent about competition but still feel so strongly about winning? The only good thing is that I've learnt how to control my emotions about being competitive and be able to overlook occasions when I do not win. Is winning everything? Is life about winning? Is survival about winning? It just feels so primal, so part of human nature that I can't shake it off. How is it possible that others don't see a need to win? Honestly, I feel so flawed sometimes.

Okay, that's it for today. I'm feeling a little melancholic now and I shan't let that continue.

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