2008/12/19
Moved to lostliterature.wordpress.com
recorded on 12/19/2008 10:32:00 PM
2008/12/07
I've not been free like this for a long time.
I think the last time when there was even a slight tinge of what I call absolute freedom occured back in BMT, during the block leave period.
Its coming to the end of my leave period. Tomorrow I return back to my working position with my employer.
During the past 4 days, have been the better days of my entire past 2 months at least. ( As far as my brain remembers anyway).
Last week, my cousin got married. Seeing and taking part actively in a marriage procedure has re-ignited certain dying embers within the heart. Setting these things aflame now is definitely a bad choice. Still, the sheer trill of being involved with a wedding is indeed refreshing after the deadpan lifestyle with my company.
Back on topic though.
Thursday : Left the gates of the company building. Felt an overwhelming sense of freedom. Dined properly at a good tim sum place at Thomson Plaza. Gamed till the cows came home that night.
Friday : Help Cousin with HC's Prom. More time could and should have been spent with the APG; (as Katerina so aptly named them), touched base with two of my core concerns.
Saturday : Just simply enjoyed the significantly slower pace of life in the morning. Afternoon till night was involved with the awesome Bunk 3. Much talk was made, great day overall.
Sunday : Helped Edmund with his dance troupe. Touched base yet again with another core. Gained 1,900+ pictures to look at. I love my life.
I should be thankful for everything.
Its always a conflict of the serious side of me VS the relaxed side.
sigh.
-confused.
recorded on 12/07/2008 11:28:00 PM
2008/12/06
I feel ridiculously old.
It's a feeling thats difficult to put down in words. In writing at least.
There's a tingle of loss, regret, remorse. The kind that doesn't consume your entire heart, but constantly chews on its edges, making the pain a nagging, relentless one.
It's like being cheated of a good deal.
It's pain in its purest. The very knowledge that it is impossible for me to turn back the clock 389 days to go back to that moment. The moment that happened once and was lost forever.
Still 389 days from that day, I find myself a very different man.
Its an ongoing metamorphsis. A slow evolution. But a change that is happening nevertheless.
Regret makes a person reflect and consider the life choices he made.
It helps a person to grow, and with time, to heal the deep wounds it has inflicted.
What was the word for this feeling again?
Ahh.
Heartache.
-out
recorded on 12/06/2008 10:08:00 AM
2008/11/23
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
For me, I choose to defy the odds.
recorded on 11/23/2008 01:04:00 AM
2008/11/22
I am a passing cloud. One that has no shape, no true element to belong to.
I conture myself into shapes others desire to see.
I take no definite form.
I am a passing cloud.
I can turn myself into the raindrops that fall on the Earth,
Moisturizing, nuturing the plants to grow and stand strong.
On a bad day, I can be a violent thunderstorm,
Drenching and hurting all who stand in my way.
I am a passing cloud.
Sometimes, when I feel that the Earth is too polluted to continue living,
I rise back to the skies,
To take back the values of purity and goodness.
To prepare to give it back to the world.
I am a passing cloud.
I am a passing cloud.
I have no shape, no element, no one to lean upon.
Because I have no other intent,
Then to see the best in people.
To tell them I care.
2 weeks have gone. I am officially a 3SGT now. Endurance, End of Course function. Everything.
Thank you IC2, TCTC, SI.
Bunk 3
Sam Seah Guo Hao
Shaun Chia
Gregory Ho
Vincent Lau Bing Chang
Derrick Ng
Martin
Nicholas Teo
Nicholas Wong
Zilly
Eugene Lee
Thank you for the memories.
What did I wanted to say during our parting?
This I believe.
As a specialist, as a person in life, there is only 2 things you can leave behind.
Your actions and your words.
For you all, I have left both.
I may not be the best.
I can only try to do the best, and leave you words that will push you on in the days to come.
In times when you can't find me, or when I'm gone.
My words and my actions.
Are all that will remain.
Those will form memories of me.
Good ones I hope.
Thank you Bunk3.
I should really stop blogging cryptic.
But I can't. Cause sometimes things hurt too much for me to state the facts out.
Stating it is simple. But getting over it is way harder.
I am weird. I know.
But who am I?
A human.
-out
recorded on 11/22/2008 08:11:00 AM
2008/11/09
I like watching movies.
recorded on 11/09/2008 12:11:00 PM
2008/11/06
When the day comes when you've all grown up,
And have the strength to walk alone, to carry on with your life.
I will quietly leave your side.
I am no noble creature by any right,
Not a prince, by day or night.
I will keep it within my heart, to protect you when the need arises.
I may be a person that is weird, that always had the ideals.
I have one sole guiding strength, and that is to the best I can for everyone I care for.
Forever in the shadows, quiet. Waiting.
A lone warrior in a desert.
Waiting.
recorded on 11/06/2008 11:15:00 AM
