Ok, I may be a little biased considering the fact that the photographer is my husband, but seriously...could these pictures be any cuter???
Project Run & Play Repeat!
8 years ago
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The best photographer ever!
Ok, I may be a little biased considering the fact that the photographer is my husband, but seriously...could these pictures be any cuter???
Monday, December 8, 2008
Infected
Philip has the chickenpox.
Michael got them a week before Thanksgiving and he had to miss a week of school. He was immunized against chickenpox, but they got him anyway. His case was mild...only 60 or 70 pox...but it was still miserable.
Now, my baby is miserable. He is currently talking/crying in his crib after a whopping 30 minute nap. His morning nap was a no go. I am going to go love on him some more and count down the time till Matt gets home.
Michael got them a week before Thanksgiving and he had to miss a week of school. He was immunized against chickenpox, but they got him anyway. His case was mild...only 60 or 70 pox...but it was still miserable.
Now, my baby is miserable. He is currently talking/crying in his crib after a whopping 30 minute nap. His morning nap was a no go. I am going to go love on him some more and count down the time till Matt gets home.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sealed
On November 8, 2008 we were sealed to Philip.
This day was the culmination of all that I have waited for.
We arrived at the temple at 8:30 and ushured our kids into the playroom. The temple had staff there waiting to help our kids during the entire process and they were very helpful and kind.
Matt and I then went over all of our family information with a temple worker to make sure that everything was correct. This process took about 20 minutes to complete and when we were finished she asked us which two men we would like to be the witnesses of the sealing. A totally unexpected wave of grief hit me then...when I realized that I wanted my dad to be there to witness this event. Matt said he wanted his father and then asked me if I wanted to have Devin, my brother, stand in for dad. I said yes and was overwhelmed with how much I missed my dad. Since the time that he died four years ago, I don't think I have longed for his presence more than I did in the temple that morning. Tears started to stream down my cheeks and Matt held my hand tightly.
I whispered to Matt, "Dad will still be there, right?"
"Of course he will be, Carol, he wouldn't miss it," Matt replied.
I am crying as I write this because I know that my dad was there to witness this miraculous event in my life. I know that he was there to support this decision Matt and I had made. I am so grateful for the knowledge that life doesn't end when we die. This is the whole purpose of the temple and the reason why we wanted Philip to be sealed to us for time and eternity. I am so grateful for His gospel that doesn't deny anyone from receiving His choicest blessings.
Anyway, after we finished the paperwork, we headed back to our designated dressing rooms so that we could get changed into our white clothing. (We wear white in the temple to symbolize our purity and equality before our Father in Heaven.) Once I was dressed, the temple worker led me to the Celestial room where Matt was waiting for me.
It reminded me so much of our wedding day. We were married in the same temple and we were able to sit alone together in the Celestial room on that day as well. The peace I felt about my decision to marry Matt was overwhelming and it has been a sustaining influence on me when times were tough.
Once again, as we sat in the room together, I was overwhelmed with peace about our decision to adopt Philip. I knew that he was our son and that Heavenly Father wanted me to be his mother. When the time came, Matt and I were led into the Sealing Room where all of our friends and family waited. When we entered, the first thing I noticed was my Michael, James and Anne, all sitting in a row in their beautiful white clothing. They were all grinning up at us as we walked into the room and Michael had big tears in his eyes. The Spirit was so strong and once again witnessed to me the truthfullness of His gospel. I then noticed my mom who was holding Philip. He was as calm as can be and absolutely darling in his white outfit.
Before the sealing ordinance was performed, our sealer chose to share a scripture that he said had come to his mind. It was 1 Corinthians 2:9 and it says,
"Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."
For those sitting in the room with us, this scripture may not have meant much, but to me personally this scripture was a tender mercy from the Lord.
Remember this post, way back in April, about our journey to Philip? I quoted this particular scripture in that post because it described exactly how I felt about the whole process...heart altering process...that led us to Philip. And yet here I sat, with a man who was ordained of God to be with us in the temple this day and he 'thought' to share the one thing that would testify of Heavenly Father's love and awareness of me. "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."
Tears filled my eyes as I listened to him recite this scripture. It was as if Heavenly Father was once again telling me that He knows me...Carol...and that He loves me so much. He has known this path all along and He has been preparing me and leading me to this point. I just need to have the faith to follow His lead and I will never be left alone.
The Sealing Ordinance was then performed and Philip was as sweet as can be. Once it was over, Philip didn't want to let go of Matt and my hands...he just grinned at us and we were overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.
All of our kids were able to stand by us at that point and the sealer had us look into the large mirrors that they have hanging in the Sealing Room. The mirrors cover opposing walls and so when you look into one your image goes on forever and ever. The sealer took the opportunity to teach our kids that now that Philip was sealed to us he would be ours forever and ever, just like the images in the mirror.
I want to share the second verse of one of my favorite Primary Songs...I LOVE TO SEE THE TEMPLE
I love to see the temple.
I'll go inside someday.
I'll covenant with my Father;
I'll promise to obey.
For the temple is a holy place
Where we are sealed together.
As a child of God,
I've learned this truth;
A family is forever.
(Words and Music: Janice Kapp Perry)
I feel so blessed and so grateful. Thank you for all of your kind words and support during this process. They have meant more to me than you know and I am grateful for the positive influence and encouragement that good people have brought into my life.
All my love,
Carol
If you would like to know more about Temples and the work we do there or anything else about my religion please visit http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/
This day was the culmination of all that I have waited for.
We arrived at the temple at 8:30 and ushured our kids into the playroom. The temple had staff there waiting to help our kids during the entire process and they were very helpful and kind.
Matt and I then went over all of our family information with a temple worker to make sure that everything was correct. This process took about 20 minutes to complete and when we were finished she asked us which two men we would like to be the witnesses of the sealing. A totally unexpected wave of grief hit me then...when I realized that I wanted my dad to be there to witness this event. Matt said he wanted his father and then asked me if I wanted to have Devin, my brother, stand in for dad. I said yes and was overwhelmed with how much I missed my dad. Since the time that he died four years ago, I don't think I have longed for his presence more than I did in the temple that morning. Tears started to stream down my cheeks and Matt held my hand tightly.
I whispered to Matt, "Dad will still be there, right?"
"Of course he will be, Carol, he wouldn't miss it," Matt replied.
I am crying as I write this because I know that my dad was there to witness this miraculous event in my life. I know that he was there to support this decision Matt and I had made. I am so grateful for the knowledge that life doesn't end when we die. This is the whole purpose of the temple and the reason why we wanted Philip to be sealed to us for time and eternity. I am so grateful for His gospel that doesn't deny anyone from receiving His choicest blessings.
Anyway, after we finished the paperwork, we headed back to our designated dressing rooms so that we could get changed into our white clothing. (We wear white in the temple to symbolize our purity and equality before our Father in Heaven.) Once I was dressed, the temple worker led me to the Celestial room where Matt was waiting for me.
It reminded me so much of our wedding day. We were married in the same temple and we were able to sit alone together in the Celestial room on that day as well. The peace I felt about my decision to marry Matt was overwhelming and it has been a sustaining influence on me when times were tough.
Once again, as we sat in the room together, I was overwhelmed with peace about our decision to adopt Philip. I knew that he was our son and that Heavenly Father wanted me to be his mother. When the time came, Matt and I were led into the Sealing Room where all of our friends and family waited. When we entered, the first thing I noticed was my Michael, James and Anne, all sitting in a row in their beautiful white clothing. They were all grinning up at us as we walked into the room and Michael had big tears in his eyes. The Spirit was so strong and once again witnessed to me the truthfullness of His gospel. I then noticed my mom who was holding Philip. He was as calm as can be and absolutely darling in his white outfit.
Before the sealing ordinance was performed, our sealer chose to share a scripture that he said had come to his mind. It was 1 Corinthians 2:9 and it says,
"Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."
For those sitting in the room with us, this scripture may not have meant much, but to me personally this scripture was a tender mercy from the Lord.
Remember this post, way back in April, about our journey to Philip? I quoted this particular scripture in that post because it described exactly how I felt about the whole process...heart altering process...that led us to Philip. And yet here I sat, with a man who was ordained of God to be with us in the temple this day and he 'thought' to share the one thing that would testify of Heavenly Father's love and awareness of me. "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."
Tears filled my eyes as I listened to him recite this scripture. It was as if Heavenly Father was once again telling me that He knows me...Carol...and that He loves me so much. He has known this path all along and He has been preparing me and leading me to this point. I just need to have the faith to follow His lead and I will never be left alone.
The Sealing Ordinance was then performed and Philip was as sweet as can be. Once it was over, Philip didn't want to let go of Matt and my hands...he just grinned at us and we were overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.
All of our kids were able to stand by us at that point and the sealer had us look into the large mirrors that they have hanging in the Sealing Room. The mirrors cover opposing walls and so when you look into one your image goes on forever and ever. The sealer took the opportunity to teach our kids that now that Philip was sealed to us he would be ours forever and ever, just like the images in the mirror.
I want to share the second verse of one of my favorite Primary Songs...I LOVE TO SEE THE TEMPLE
I love to see the temple.
I'll go inside someday.
I'll covenant with my Father;
I'll promise to obey.
For the temple is a holy place
Where we are sealed together.
As a child of God,
I've learned this truth;
A family is forever.
(Words and Music: Janice Kapp Perry)
I feel so blessed and so grateful. Thank you for all of your kind words and support during this process. They have meant more to me than you know and I am grateful for the positive influence and encouragement that good people have brought into my life.
All my love,
Carol
If you would like to know more about Temples and the work we do there or anything else about my religion please visit http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
November 7, 2008
On November 7, 2008 Philip was declared our son in every legal sense. Words cannot adequately describe how I felt this day, but I will do my best.
Our court time was set for 2:00pm and the kids were out of school due to Parent/Teacher Conferences and so it was perfect. Grandma decided to join us at the courthouse to show her support. As she said, "I wouldn't miss it." It was an absolutely beautiful fall day. The sun was shining and it was crisp without being too cold. We loaded into our van and headed down to the courthouse. We arrived extra early and after sitting in the wrong hallway for 20 minutes, I realized my mistake and we found our way to the correct room. Luckily, we still had five minutes to spare. Our caseworker and our lawyer were there waiting for us and we filed into the courtroom. It was the first time I had ever been in a courtroom and I was very grateful it was under such happy circumstances. Matt and I were asked to hold Philip and then sit at the Plaintiff's desk. Our lawyer and caseworker sat at the Defendant's desk, while Michael, James, Anne and Grandma Charlotte sat behind us in the general seating area. Our lawyer explained how the process would work and brought the adoption papers over for us to review.
Our judge entered the room shortly thereafter and Matt and I were sworn in "to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God." The whole experience was a little surreal. We stated our names for the court and when it came time for Anne to say her name she absolutely froze and looked at me with pure terror in her eyes and said, "I don't know..." (Later, she told Grandma that she couldn't remember her middle name and she didn't know what to do.) While I didn't want her to feel afraid, her response was rather cute.
The judge then turned the time over to our lawyer who asked us some basic questions about our identity and then asked us how we felt about Philip. Matt went first and told the court how much we loved him and considered him to be our son. Then it was my turn, and I tried to express how much love and devotion I felt toward this little boy. I told the judge that I knew that God had led us to him and what joy and love he had brought into our home. I told her how much I loved him and how much my other kids loved him as well.
Our attorney asked Matt, and then me, if we understood that we would be Philip's parents with all of the rights and responsibilities pertaining to parenthood and we said yes. The judge then informed us that she had reviewed Philip's entire case as well as our home study and she thought that it was in his best interest to be our son.
A wave of gratitude washed over me and I started to cry at the realization that he was finally ours. I looked over at Matt and realized that he was crying too. We both felt so happy and peaceful. Our kids were absolutely beaming out of their seats and they couldn't wait to come and give Philip a hug. James said, "Now you are really my brother for ever and ever." It was so sweet.
After we signed the adoption documents we took a picture with the judge that declared us a family. Hooray!!!
"Oh no, I'm stuck with these guys forever..."
This post wouldn't be complete without me expressing my gratitude to my mom. We are so grateful for the consistent love and support she has shown us since the day Philip was placed in our home. It is amazing really, considering how much she had to open her heart (and risk it being broken), but she has loved Philip unconditionally. Her love for him has been a gift from Heavenly Father and I am blessed to have witnessed it. Consequently, Philip is drawn to Grandma Charlotte as much as she is drawn to him. What a blessing Grandma's can be.
Also, I must acknowledge my Heavenly Father's hand in this entire process. Matt and I are consistently amazed at how we were carefully led to this little boy. This heart changing process took us years to complete, but I know that Heavenly Father was the driving force behind it. He loves me, He loves Matt, and He loves Philip. He is accutely aware of my strengths and my weaknesses and I am grateful for His patience with me. I cannot adequately express the gratitude and love I feel for Him.
Our court time was set for 2:00pm and the kids were out of school due to Parent/Teacher Conferences and so it was perfect. Grandma decided to join us at the courthouse to show her support. As she said, "I wouldn't miss it." It was an absolutely beautiful fall day. The sun was shining and it was crisp without being too cold. We loaded into our van and headed down to the courthouse. We arrived extra early and after sitting in the wrong hallway for 20 minutes, I realized my mistake and we found our way to the correct room. Luckily, we still had five minutes to spare. Our caseworker and our lawyer were there waiting for us and we filed into the courtroom. It was the first time I had ever been in a courtroom and I was very grateful it was under such happy circumstances. Matt and I were asked to hold Philip and then sit at the Plaintiff's desk. Our lawyer and caseworker sat at the Defendant's desk, while Michael, James, Anne and Grandma Charlotte sat behind us in the general seating area. Our lawyer explained how the process would work and brought the adoption papers over for us to review.
Our judge entered the room shortly thereafter and Matt and I were sworn in "to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God." The whole experience was a little surreal. We stated our names for the court and when it came time for Anne to say her name she absolutely froze and looked at me with pure terror in her eyes and said, "I don't know..." (Later, she told Grandma that she couldn't remember her middle name and she didn't know what to do.) While I didn't want her to feel afraid, her response was rather cute.
The judge then turned the time over to our lawyer who asked us some basic questions about our identity and then asked us how we felt about Philip. Matt went first and told the court how much we loved him and considered him to be our son. Then it was my turn, and I tried to express how much love and devotion I felt toward this little boy. I told the judge that I knew that God had led us to him and what joy and love he had brought into our home. I told her how much I loved him and how much my other kids loved him as well.
Our attorney asked Matt, and then me, if we understood that we would be Philip's parents with all of the rights and responsibilities pertaining to parenthood and we said yes. The judge then informed us that she had reviewed Philip's entire case as well as our home study and she thought that it was in his best interest to be our son.
A wave of gratitude washed over me and I started to cry at the realization that he was finally ours. I looked over at Matt and realized that he was crying too. We both felt so happy and peaceful. Our kids were absolutely beaming out of their seats and they couldn't wait to come and give Philip a hug. James said, "Now you are really my brother for ever and ever." It was so sweet.
After we signed the adoption documents we took a picture with the judge that declared us a family. Hooray!!!
"Oh no, I'm stuck with these guys forever..."
This post wouldn't be complete without me expressing my gratitude to my mom. We are so grateful for the consistent love and support she has shown us since the day Philip was placed in our home. It is amazing really, considering how much she had to open her heart (and risk it being broken), but she has loved Philip unconditionally. Her love for him has been a gift from Heavenly Father and I am blessed to have witnessed it. Consequently, Philip is drawn to Grandma Charlotte as much as she is drawn to him. What a blessing Grandma's can be.
Also, I must acknowledge my Heavenly Father's hand in this entire process. Matt and I are consistently amazed at how we were carefully led to this little boy. This heart changing process took us years to complete, but I know that Heavenly Father was the driving force behind it. He loves me, He loves Matt, and He loves Philip. He is accutely aware of my strengths and my weaknesses and I am grateful for His patience with me. I cannot adequately express the gratitude and love I feel for Him.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
He's Ours...Forever!!!
For with God nothing shall be impossible.
St. Luke 1:37
After many months of praying and waiting,
we feel blessed to announce the adoption of
our son and brother,
Philip Bennett
Born: June 18, 2007
7 lbs. 4 oz.
19 inches
Forever placed in our arms: June 25, 2007
Adoption Finalized: November 7, 2008
Love,
Matt, Carol, Michael, James, and Anne
I have so much more to say, but I haven't been able to get my thoughts down on paper. I will post again soon so that you can know all of the details.
St. Luke 1:37
After many months of praying and waiting,
we feel blessed to announce the adoption of
our son and brother,
Philip Bennett
Born: June 18, 2007
7 lbs. 4 oz.
19 inches
Forever placed in our arms: June 25, 2007
Adoption Finalized: November 7, 2008
Love,
Matt, Carol, Michael, James, and Anne
I have so much more to say, but I haven't been able to get my thoughts down on paper. I will post again soon so that you can know all of the details.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Not Everyone Can Cook Like Me
Papa came into town for the first time in 6 years. Papa is my grandpa on my mother's side and he and I have always had a really special bond. I look up to him more than I can express and he has taught me what it truly means to serve and love your spouse. I watched him lovingly take care of his wife up until the very end. This was not always an easy task, but he rose to the challenge and I will always admire him for the way that he loved her.
After Tutu's (my grandma's) passing, my mom convinced him to join her at her house for a couple of weeks and we were lucky to have him agree. During his visit, he came to our church to see the kids in their Primary Program and we had him over to dinner a couple of times. The first time he came over I made a concerted effort to have everything be just so. I cleaned the house and prepared a particularly yummy dinner...which included homemade garlic breadsticks and lasagna.
While the lasagna was cooking, I made the breadsticks
(which turned out perfectly, by the way) and Papa let the kids create a stuffed animal extravaganza all around him. James and Anne had a wonderful time posing the animals 'just so' and then getting their pictures taken. Papa was, of course, as patient and loving as ever.
Even Philip had a great time playing with Papa.
Once the lasagna was finished cooking, I removed it from the oven and set it on the counter. At least, that is what I had planned in my mind.
In reality, once the lasagna was finished cooking, I removed it from the oven and then promptly dropped the entire thing on the floor. No...I am not kidding. It was cooking in one of those flimsy metal pans and the whole thing just bent in half from the weight of the lasagna and I couldn't stop it from falling to the ground below. Here I was trying to show my Papa what a mature, responsible mother I had become and instead I dropped his dinner on the floor.
As you can see, most of the cheese and the sauce was lost on the floor, so the only thing remaining of the lasagna was the noodles. Luckily, my mom, husband, and Papa were all very kind about the whole thing and they all suggested that we eat it anyway. I sprinkled the top with some new cheese, dumped a bunch of spaghetti sauce over the top and served my masterpiece for dinner.
In the end, I guess I am still the little girl dying for approval from the adults that I adore. On this night, I learned that the only thing I have to do to gain their approval is to be myself. I don't have to be the best cook or the most accomplished mother. I only have to be me and that is enough...failed dinners and all.
After Tutu's (my grandma's) passing, my mom convinced him to join her at her house for a couple of weeks and we were lucky to have him agree. During his visit, he came to our church to see the kids in their Primary Program and we had him over to dinner a couple of times. The first time he came over I made a concerted effort to have everything be just so. I cleaned the house and prepared a particularly yummy dinner...which included homemade garlic breadsticks and lasagna.
While the lasagna was cooking, I made the breadsticks
(which turned out perfectly, by the way) and Papa let the kids create a stuffed animal extravaganza all around him. James and Anne had a wonderful time posing the animals 'just so' and then getting their pictures taken. Papa was, of course, as patient and loving as ever.
Even Philip had a great time playing with Papa.
Once the lasagna was finished cooking, I removed it from the oven and set it on the counter. At least, that is what I had planned in my mind.
In reality, once the lasagna was finished cooking, I removed it from the oven and then promptly dropped the entire thing on the floor. No...I am not kidding. It was cooking in one of those flimsy metal pans and the whole thing just bent in half from the weight of the lasagna and I couldn't stop it from falling to the ground below. Here I was trying to show my Papa what a mature, responsible mother I had become and instead I dropped his dinner on the floor.
As you can see, most of the cheese and the sauce was lost on the floor, so the only thing remaining of the lasagna was the noodles. Luckily, my mom, husband, and Papa were all very kind about the whole thing and they all suggested that we eat it anyway. I sprinkled the top with some new cheese, dumped a bunch of spaghetti sauce over the top and served my masterpiece for dinner.
In the end, I guess I am still the little girl dying for approval from the adults that I adore. On this night, I learned that the only thing I have to do to gain their approval is to be myself. I don't have to be the best cook or the most accomplished mother. I only have to be me and that is enough...failed dinners and all.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Nemesis
When I was about 8 years old I was stung by a bee while I was asleep in my bed...in the armpit. It got horribly infected and caused me all sorts of pain. In order to help me feel better, my mom used to sit with me and read all of the information about bees/wasps/yellow jackets out of our 1977 Encyclopedia Britanica. My one condolence was the hope that it was a bee that had stung me and therefore had given his life to do so.
When I was about 10 a bee/wasp got me on my ankle while I was playing on my Grandparents teeter-totter in their back yard. I was minding my own business and everything. We then headed up the mountain to Snowbird and I remember being awake that night in the hotel hating bees with all my 10 year old heart.
When I was 15 I went boating with some friends in a nearby reservoir. I jumped off the boat to go up to the picnic area without my shoes and...you guessed it...I stepped on a bee. I think he was even dead, but the bugger got me anyway...right in between my toes. That one got really infected as well, to the point where you couldn't tell which toes the sting had occured between because it was all so red and swollen.
As you can see, I do not have a great history with bees, so when I found the huge nest the wasps had built under our gable roof I was a little intimidated. My sister Joanne saw it as well and advised me to wait until dusk to kill it. Apparently the bees are at their calmest at this point in the day and they are all back at home, allowing the greatest number of the little buzzing beasts to be killed.
On this particular evening, Matt was out mountain biking and so I could not defer to him to be the in-house pest killer. So, I herded all of the kids inside, made sure our patio door was unlocked (so that I could make my quick escape inside), and I got out my can of wasp killer. This wasp killer is the kind that shoots up to 20+ feet away. Anyway, with my heart pounding in my chest, I did a test run to make sure that the can really worked correctly and then I aimed and fired. Wow, that stuff works great!!! The 20+ wasps on the nest immediately started to fall dead to the ground. After emptying a quarter of the can on them, I decided I had done my job really well...and I wasn't even going to have to run for it.
Here is the mega nest and the remaining dead wasps that got stuck onto it as I sprayed them.
Just at that moment, I noticed a renegade wasp come swooping down on me. I tried to swat him away with my hand, but...you guessed it...he STUNG me! Aaii yai yai! Those stings hurt bad. I (rather quickly) made my escape to the aforementioned patio door...silently cursing the entire breed of my nemesis. I got on the computer and looked up what to do for a bee sting and discoved the best thing was to
1. Scrape the stinger out with a credit card
2. Wash the site thoroughly with soap and water
3. Apply ice for swelling and pain
4. Apply some type of antibiotic ointment
5. Take ibuprofen for pain
So, I fished out my handy credit card and scraped away. It hurt like crazy, but I hoped it would help. I then washed my hands with soap and cold water and already the burning sensation started to subside. I decided that the scraping had removed the stinger and so I didn't feel like I needed the ibuprofen and to be perfectly honest, I completely forgot about the Neosporin.
Mostly, the whole event just made me angry. Angry at the nasty little beasts (which are very fast and vindictive...now I know why people use the term bee-line), angry at myself for not spraying and running (which was my original plan), and angry that my hand now hurt.
In the end though, I had killed them, and I had done it on my own. Lesson learned...right? I had even decided that the sting was mostly my own fault and the wasp was just trying to protect his family. I mean, how would I like it if a huge creature came and doused my home with poison?
Fast forward to two days later. I woke up this morning and unconsciously scratched my hand. OWWWEEEE! What was that?!? I looked down at my old bee sting and realized why step number 4 was so important and should not be forgotten. Yep. My hand is infected. It isn't too terrible (not like the armpit or in between the toes) and I know my immune system will fight it off, but man oh man, I really do not like wasps!
So much for me feeling bad about destroying his home.
When I was about 10 a bee/wasp got me on my ankle while I was playing on my Grandparents teeter-totter in their back yard. I was minding my own business and everything. We then headed up the mountain to Snowbird and I remember being awake that night in the hotel hating bees with all my 10 year old heart.
When I was 15 I went boating with some friends in a nearby reservoir. I jumped off the boat to go up to the picnic area without my shoes and...you guessed it...I stepped on a bee. I think he was even dead, but the bugger got me anyway...right in between my toes. That one got really infected as well, to the point where you couldn't tell which toes the sting had occured between because it was all so red and swollen.
As you can see, I do not have a great history with bees, so when I found the huge nest the wasps had built under our gable roof I was a little intimidated. My sister Joanne saw it as well and advised me to wait until dusk to kill it. Apparently the bees are at their calmest at this point in the day and they are all back at home, allowing the greatest number of the little buzzing beasts to be killed.
On this particular evening, Matt was out mountain biking and so I could not defer to him to be the in-house pest killer. So, I herded all of the kids inside, made sure our patio door was unlocked (so that I could make my quick escape inside), and I got out my can of wasp killer. This wasp killer is the kind that shoots up to 20+ feet away. Anyway, with my heart pounding in my chest, I did a test run to make sure that the can really worked correctly and then I aimed and fired. Wow, that stuff works great!!! The 20+ wasps on the nest immediately started to fall dead to the ground. After emptying a quarter of the can on them, I decided I had done my job really well...and I wasn't even going to have to run for it.
Here is the mega nest and the remaining dead wasps that got stuck onto it as I sprayed them.
Just at that moment, I noticed a renegade wasp come swooping down on me. I tried to swat him away with my hand, but...you guessed it...he STUNG me! Aaii yai yai! Those stings hurt bad. I (rather quickly) made my escape to the aforementioned patio door...silently cursing the entire breed of my nemesis. I got on the computer and looked up what to do for a bee sting and discoved the best thing was to
1. Scrape the stinger out with a credit card
2. Wash the site thoroughly with soap and water
3. Apply ice for swelling and pain
4. Apply some type of antibiotic ointment
5. Take ibuprofen for pain
So, I fished out my handy credit card and scraped away. It hurt like crazy, but I hoped it would help. I then washed my hands with soap and cold water and already the burning sensation started to subside. I decided that the scraping had removed the stinger and so I didn't feel like I needed the ibuprofen and to be perfectly honest, I completely forgot about the Neosporin.
Mostly, the whole event just made me angry. Angry at the nasty little beasts (which are very fast and vindictive...now I know why people use the term bee-line), angry at myself for not spraying and running (which was my original plan), and angry that my hand now hurt.
In the end though, I had killed them, and I had done it on my own. Lesson learned...right? I had even decided that the sting was mostly my own fault and the wasp was just trying to protect his family. I mean, how would I like it if a huge creature came and doused my home with poison?
Fast forward to two days later. I woke up this morning and unconsciously scratched my hand. OWWWEEEE! What was that?!? I looked down at my old bee sting and realized why step number 4 was so important and should not be forgotten. Yep. My hand is infected. It isn't too terrible (not like the armpit or in between the toes) and I know my immune system will fight it off, but man oh man, I really do not like wasps!
So much for me feeling bad about destroying his home.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
ER Visit
Philip's caseworker came to our house yesterday to deliver all of the documents related to Philip's case. It is one of the final steps in this adoption process and I was excited to sign for their release. We had a nice visit and then Philip and I walked her out to her car.
I held Philip in my arms and he waved bye bye while she drove off. I then turned to get the mail out of the mailbox and Philip twisted back out of my arms at the worst moment because the mailbox blocked my other arms' ability to grab him. He fell from my grasp and landed flat on his head in the gutter. It was one of those slow motion moments and I just couldn't stop it from happening. (I am still sick as I replay it in my mind.) Unfortunately his head is what hit first and so it made the most sickening thud I have ever heard. I immediately swooped him up as he screamed into my neck, rushed inside to grab some ice, and called the doctor. After talking to the nurse, she confirmed my fear, a fall from that high onto concrete needed to be evaluated at the ER and I needed to take him in right away. Oh no...what have I done? Needless to say, I was sick at the possibility of his injury. All of the color had drained out of Philip's face, so I hurried him into the car and headed to the ER. He fell sound asleep on the way which made me even more worried.
When we arrived at the hospital, the Doctor determined that he needed a CT scan to rule out a head bleed. CT scans are amazing diagnostic tools, but they also emit a tremendous amount of radiation and there are risks that I had to consider. After conferencing with the doctor, we decided that it would be most prudent to have one done since he is so young and can't tell us his symptoms.
So, we headed off to CT where we attempted to keep Philip still while they got the image they needed. It took two tries, but they were able to get a good picture and so we headed back to the room to wait. While waiting for the news, my friend Anna unexpectedly showed up to support me and I was so grateful for her thoughtfulness.
After waiting for about a half an hour, the doctor came in and said that there was no bleeding around his brain (which was the primary concern), but he did have a skull fracture. What?!? I had literally broken my baby's head. Once again I felt sick, but the doctor reassured me that he wasn't in any more danger, the fracture wasn't creating any pressure on his brain, and that he would heal on his own. While it was good news, it didn't really help to dispel my guilt. After she consulted with the on call Neuro-surgeon, she gave us permission to be released.
After we arrived home, I asked my brother, Devin, to come over and help Matt give Philip a Priesthood blessing. Matt gave him a blessing in which he blessed him with the ability to heal and reminded him of Heavenly Father's love for him and our whole family.
I am very grateful for the Priesthood and my husband's worthiness. I am grateful for the health services that we have so accesible to us. I am grateful for life saving diagnostic technology. I am grateful for the kindness and compassion that was shown to Philip and me on this stressful day. Most importantly, I am grateful that Philip is going to be ok and that there will be no lasting damage.
This whole event made it very clear to me just how desperate I am to get this baby to the temple so that he can be sealed to us. As I replayed the events of the day I couldn't help but realize that the outcome could have been very different. If anything happened to him right now I would have no claim to him. Not in the legal sense or the spiritual sense. I am more anxious then ever to make this adoption final. Thank goodness we are almost done.
I held Philip in my arms and he waved bye bye while she drove off. I then turned to get the mail out of the mailbox and Philip twisted back out of my arms at the worst moment because the mailbox blocked my other arms' ability to grab him. He fell from my grasp and landed flat on his head in the gutter. It was one of those slow motion moments and I just couldn't stop it from happening. (I am still sick as I replay it in my mind.) Unfortunately his head is what hit first and so it made the most sickening thud I have ever heard. I immediately swooped him up as he screamed into my neck, rushed inside to grab some ice, and called the doctor. After talking to the nurse, she confirmed my fear, a fall from that high onto concrete needed to be evaluated at the ER and I needed to take him in right away. Oh no...what have I done? Needless to say, I was sick at the possibility of his injury. All of the color had drained out of Philip's face, so I hurried him into the car and headed to the ER. He fell sound asleep on the way which made me even more worried.
When we arrived at the hospital, the Doctor determined that he needed a CT scan to rule out a head bleed. CT scans are amazing diagnostic tools, but they also emit a tremendous amount of radiation and there are risks that I had to consider. After conferencing with the doctor, we decided that it would be most prudent to have one done since he is so young and can't tell us his symptoms.
So, we headed off to CT where we attempted to keep Philip still while they got the image they needed. It took two tries, but they were able to get a good picture and so we headed back to the room to wait. While waiting for the news, my friend Anna unexpectedly showed up to support me and I was so grateful for her thoughtfulness.
After waiting for about a half an hour, the doctor came in and said that there was no bleeding around his brain (which was the primary concern), but he did have a skull fracture. What?!? I had literally broken my baby's head. Once again I felt sick, but the doctor reassured me that he wasn't in any more danger, the fracture wasn't creating any pressure on his brain, and that he would heal on his own. While it was good news, it didn't really help to dispel my guilt. After she consulted with the on call Neuro-surgeon, she gave us permission to be released.
After we arrived home, I asked my brother, Devin, to come over and help Matt give Philip a Priesthood blessing. Matt gave him a blessing in which he blessed him with the ability to heal and reminded him of Heavenly Father's love for him and our whole family.
I am very grateful for the Priesthood and my husband's worthiness. I am grateful for the health services that we have so accesible to us. I am grateful for life saving diagnostic technology. I am grateful for the kindness and compassion that was shown to Philip and me on this stressful day. Most importantly, I am grateful that Philip is going to be ok and that there will be no lasting damage.
This whole event made it very clear to me just how desperate I am to get this baby to the temple so that he can be sealed to us. As I replayed the events of the day I couldn't help but realize that the outcome could have been very different. If anything happened to him right now I would have no claim to him. Not in the legal sense or the spiritual sense. I am more anxious then ever to make this adoption final. Thank goodness we are almost done.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The light at the end of the tunnel
I can finally see it.
Our journey to adoption is finally coming to a close. We are officially counting down weeks instead of months. Today I took the notarized copy of our Petition to Adopt to our attorney. We have waited and waited for the paperwork to all fall into place so that we could finally file our Petition...and now it is done. Hooray!!!
We still have about 3 to 4 weeks of waiting left, but then we will be able to stand in front of the county judge and promise to love Philip as our own. Then, even more significantly, we will be able to take him to the Holy Temple where we will be sealed to him for time and all eternity. Philip will be ours in every sense of the word.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I am accutely aware of Heavenly Father's love for me and my family. I am so grateful that He led us to adoption and that we were willing to follow. I can only hope that I will be willing to follow His lead in other aspects of my life as well. His plan is perfect...I just need to be willing to submit.
Our journey to adoption is finally coming to a close. We are officially counting down weeks instead of months. Today I took the notarized copy of our Petition to Adopt to our attorney. We have waited and waited for the paperwork to all fall into place so that we could finally file our Petition...and now it is done. Hooray!!!
We still have about 3 to 4 weeks of waiting left, but then we will be able to stand in front of the county judge and promise to love Philip as our own. Then, even more significantly, we will be able to take him to the Holy Temple where we will be sealed to him for time and all eternity. Philip will be ours in every sense of the word.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I am accutely aware of Heavenly Father's love for me and my family. I am so grateful that He led us to adoption and that we were willing to follow. I can only hope that I will be willing to follow His lead in other aspects of my life as well. His plan is perfect...I just need to be willing to submit.
Monday, August 25, 2008
How do YOU fold your laundry?
Matt took these pictures while I was away getting groceries and when I downloaded them on the computer I laughed out loud. I hope they do the same for you.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Anne's Perspective
Anne is still at an age where her brain is trying to understand all that is around her and therefore she says some really cute things. Here are some of her latest...
June 2008
Anne: Momma, why do police cars have those bars in them?
Me: They have those bars in there to protect the policemen from the bad guys when they have to take them to the jail.
Anne: (After a few minutes.) But we don't have any bad guys in this city, right?
Me: Well Anne, unfortunately we do have bad guys in this city and that is why we have the policemen to help us and to protect us.
Anne: (Without a moments pause) We have ninjas in this city?
July 2008
One afternoon the power went out in our house and once Anne realized what had happened she ran up to me and exclaimed, "Oh no, momma, our house ran out of batteries!
August 22, 2008
While leaving our neighborhood a car pulled out in front of us that looked just like Matt's.
Anne: Is that daddy?
Me: No, daddy is at work, but that car sure looks like daddy's.
Anne: Is it daddy's car?
Me: No, but they do look the exact same.
Anne: Oh yeah, it's not daddy's because daddy's has black handles and that one doesn't.
Me: Oh my goodness, Anne, you are so smart.
Anne: Why?
Me: Because I never noticed the handles on daddy's car before and you noticed all the little details.
Anne: (after a few moments) Did Jesus make me smart?
Me: Heavenly Father made you smart. He made all of the things that are wonderful about you.
Anne: But He didn't make you smart like me, right?
June 2008
Anne: Momma, why do police cars have those bars in them?
Me: They have those bars in there to protect the policemen from the bad guys when they have to take them to the jail.
Anne: (After a few minutes.) But we don't have any bad guys in this city, right?
Me: Well Anne, unfortunately we do have bad guys in this city and that is why we have the policemen to help us and to protect us.
Anne: (Without a moments pause) We have ninjas in this city?
July 2008
One afternoon the power went out in our house and once Anne realized what had happened she ran up to me and exclaimed, "Oh no, momma, our house ran out of batteries!
August 22, 2008
While leaving our neighborhood a car pulled out in front of us that looked just like Matt's.
Anne: Is that daddy?
Me: No, daddy is at work, but that car sure looks like daddy's.
Anne: Is it daddy's car?
Me: No, but they do look the exact same.
Anne: Oh yeah, it's not daddy's because daddy's has black handles and that one doesn't.
Me: Oh my goodness, Anne, you are so smart.
Anne: Why?
Me: Because I never noticed the handles on daddy's car before and you noticed all the little details.
Anne: (after a few moments) Did Jesus make me smart?
Me: Heavenly Father made you smart. He made all of the things that are wonderful about you.
Anne: But He didn't make you smart like me, right?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Exhausted
Our present to Anne for her birthday this year was a trip to Build-a-Bear, where I told her she could pick out any of the stuffed animals for her birthday. She has been there once before for a friends' birthday and she has absolutely loved the Hello Kitty she received. Also, the box (house) that it came in has entertained her for hours and hours because she has water-color painted the entire thing...inside and out.
One day we had a free afternoon and so Anne and I headed off to Build-a-Bear...just the two of us. A rare occasion around here. I haven't ever been there before, but I had heard it was really cute. When we got there, I pointed out all of the darling stuffed bears and bunnies, but Anne was determined to get what I would describe as the least cuddly looking one in the bunch. She thought it was perfection though, so what could I say? We waited and waited and waited to get her chosen dog stuffed (it took about 45 minutes to get through the line). Then we printed the birth certificate for "Wolfy" and headed to the checkout counter. We decided not to purchase clothes for the dog or else it would have taken much longer. Overall the trip was fun because Anne and I were alone together and the store really is darling, just make sure you have a lot of time on your hands when you go there.
Anyway, on the way home I noticed that Anne was really quiet, so I looked back and discovered she had fallen sound asleep. This is a RARE occasion for Anne so I had Matt take a picture of her once we pulled into the garage. Apparently bear (or dog) building is exhausting work!!!
Darn it! She really is so cute!
One day we had a free afternoon and so Anne and I headed off to Build-a-Bear...just the two of us. A rare occasion around here. I haven't ever been there before, but I had heard it was really cute. When we got there, I pointed out all of the darling stuffed bears and bunnies, but Anne was determined to get what I would describe as the least cuddly looking one in the bunch. She thought it was perfection though, so what could I say? We waited and waited and waited to get her chosen dog stuffed (it took about 45 minutes to get through the line). Then we printed the birth certificate for "Wolfy" and headed to the checkout counter. We decided not to purchase clothes for the dog or else it would have taken much longer. Overall the trip was fun because Anne and I were alone together and the store really is darling, just make sure you have a lot of time on your hands when you go there.
Anyway, on the way home I noticed that Anne was really quiet, so I looked back and discovered she had fallen sound asleep. This is a RARE occasion for Anne so I had Matt take a picture of her once we pulled into the garage. Apparently bear (or dog) building is exhausting work!!!
Darn it! She really is so cute!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Bend in the Road
Oh my...I just finished Anne of Green Gables last night and I bawled like a baby. I thoroughly enjoy a good cry from a well written book. :) If you haven't read it, please be aware that there are spoilers below, if you have... well then, read on.
At the end of the book, Anne has received the scholarship to go to college, but Marilla's (her adoptive mother's) eyesight is failing and Marilla's solution is to sell Green Gables (their home). At this point Anne decides to give up her scholarship so that she can stay at home and take care of Marilla.
Anne says, about her decision "I shall give life here my best, and I believe it will give its best to me in return. When I left Queen's my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend, Marilla. I wonder how the road beyond it goes--what there is of green glory and soft, checkered light and shadows--what new landscapes--what new beauties--what curves and hills and valleys further on."
I cried and cried as I read this because it is exactly how I feel right now. Before Philip, I could see my life just like a straight road as well (Anne would go into Kindergarten and I would start my nursing degree), but now I have come to the bend. A decision has to be made and at long last I (with the help of my good husband and Heavenly Father's patience) have made it.
I will stay at home and be the best mother and daughter of God that I can be. I am now willing to take the bend in the road, but my oh my, how my heart keeps searching out the straight one before me. It only made perfect sense for me to pursue my nursing degree (I would have to retake a very difficult class in order to reapply now, it would cost us some $8,000+ more because the Associates program will not be offered after this semester and I will have to complete my Bachelors, and I want to go), but in the end it just didn't feel right.
I have been fairly miserable the last month or so...ever since I thought I could make the scheduling for this semester work. My sister-in-law gave the lesson in church a couple of weeks ago and it was on Obedience. A sweet woman in our ward made a comment and it stuck with me. She said that instead of focusing on when she did feel the spirit, she needed to focus on when she didn't. Wow. I have been, as Anne would say, "In the depths of despair" these last few weeks, and I can't help but feel that this was because the Spirit was absent from my decision to proceed with school.
Has my desire to go right now changed? No. Am I sincerely sad that I must wait? Yes. But... I know that the decision to let full-time schooling wait until another season in my life is the correct one. So..."I shall give life here my best, and I believe it will give its best to me in return."
At the end of the book, Anne has received the scholarship to go to college, but Marilla's (her adoptive mother's) eyesight is failing and Marilla's solution is to sell Green Gables (their home). At this point Anne decides to give up her scholarship so that she can stay at home and take care of Marilla.
Anne says, about her decision "I shall give life here my best, and I believe it will give its best to me in return. When I left Queen's my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend, Marilla. I wonder how the road beyond it goes--what there is of green glory and soft, checkered light and shadows--what new landscapes--what new beauties--what curves and hills and valleys further on."
I cried and cried as I read this because it is exactly how I feel right now. Before Philip, I could see my life just like a straight road as well (Anne would go into Kindergarten and I would start my nursing degree), but now I have come to the bend. A decision has to be made and at long last I (with the help of my good husband and Heavenly Father's patience) have made it.
I will stay at home and be the best mother and daughter of God that I can be. I am now willing to take the bend in the road, but my oh my, how my heart keeps searching out the straight one before me. It only made perfect sense for me to pursue my nursing degree (I would have to retake a very difficult class in order to reapply now, it would cost us some $8,000+ more because the Associates program will not be offered after this semester and I will have to complete my Bachelors, and I want to go), but in the end it just didn't feel right.
I have been fairly miserable the last month or so...ever since I thought I could make the scheduling for this semester work. My sister-in-law gave the lesson in church a couple of weeks ago and it was on Obedience. A sweet woman in our ward made a comment and it stuck with me. She said that instead of focusing on when she did feel the spirit, she needed to focus on when she didn't. Wow. I have been, as Anne would say, "In the depths of despair" these last few weeks, and I can't help but feel that this was because the Spirit was absent from my decision to proceed with school.
Has my desire to go right now changed? No. Am I sincerely sad that I must wait? Yes. But... I know that the decision to let full-time schooling wait until another season in my life is the correct one. So..."I shall give life here my best, and I believe it will give its best to me in return."
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Book Tag
1- Get the book nearest to you, or one that you are currently reading that is over 123 pages.
2-Go to page 123.
3-Find the 5th sentence.
4-Post the 5th sentence.
5- Tag 5 people.
My cousin Audge book tagged me over a month ago and I have been a slacker and not continued the tagging. Better late then never I say (actually I am not the one that said this, but I think it goes without saying that everyone likes to say it as theirs) :) :) :)
I digress...I am currently obsessed with the Twilight Saga and have read all of the books twice as well as every ounce of extra writing on Stephenie's website. The fourth book in the series, Breaking Dawn, comes out on August 2nd and I am literally counting down the days. Anyway, when I was on her site, she mentioned some of her favorite heroines of all time and one of them is my personal favorite as well. In fact, I love this character so much that I named my daughter after her. I'll give you a hint...her name ends in an e because without the e on the end, it would look "dreadful".
You guessed it...Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables. I loved these movies growing up, but I didn't ever read the series until I was a mother and I absolutely adored them. It has been around 8 years since I read them last, so I thought my sweet Anne deserved a re-reading. So, if you flip to page 123 and go down five sentences, this is the descriptive one you get...
"The orchard, with its great sweeping boughs that bent to the ground with fruit, proved so delightful that the little girls spent most of the afternoon in it, sitting in a grassy corner where the frost had spared the green and the mellow autumn sunshine lingered warmly, eating apples and talking as hard as they could."
Whoooh! Now, that's a sentence!!!
I tag Angie, Anna, Barbie, Carrie, and Jacob. Make sure you leave me a comment when you finish so that I can see the exciting books that you are reading. :)
2-Go to page 123.
3-Find the 5th sentence.
4-Post the 5th sentence.
5- Tag 5 people.
My cousin Audge book tagged me over a month ago and I have been a slacker and not continued the tagging. Better late then never I say (actually I am not the one that said this, but I think it goes without saying that everyone likes to say it as theirs) :) :) :)
I digress...I am currently obsessed with the Twilight Saga and have read all of the books twice as well as every ounce of extra writing on Stephenie's website. The fourth book in the series, Breaking Dawn, comes out on August 2nd and I am literally counting down the days. Anyway, when I was on her site, she mentioned some of her favorite heroines of all time and one of them is my personal favorite as well. In fact, I love this character so much that I named my daughter after her. I'll give you a hint...her name ends in an e because without the e on the end, it would look "dreadful".
You guessed it...Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables. I loved these movies growing up, but I didn't ever read the series until I was a mother and I absolutely adored them. It has been around 8 years since I read them last, so I thought my sweet Anne deserved a re-reading. So, if you flip to page 123 and go down five sentences, this is the descriptive one you get...
"The orchard, with its great sweeping boughs that bent to the ground with fruit, proved so delightful that the little girls spent most of the afternoon in it, sitting in a grassy corner where the frost had spared the green and the mellow autumn sunshine lingered warmly, eating apples and talking as hard as they could."
Whoooh! Now, that's a sentence!!!
I tag Angie, Anna, Barbie, Carrie, and Jacob. Make sure you leave me a comment when you finish so that I can see the exciting books that you are reading. :)
Monday, July 21, 2008
The Gift
Yesterday my eldest sister received the most immense gift anyone could ever give. She and her husband were handed their precious cargo around 10:00pm...and they immediately understood the miracle of adoption.
Their two day old baby girl is healthy and strong and she is theirs. I am overcome with love for their daughter's birth-mother. I cannot adequately express how much compassion my heart feels for her. Her's was the most Christ-like and selfless gift imaginable. I love her.
Next week we will travel to meet our new niece and celebrate with my sister and her family. This little girl is their 5th child and she is blessed to have such an incredible family. I feel so grateful that I now have a sister who has experienced the beauty of adoption. It gives me great joy to know that I will always be able to talk to her about it and know that she truly understands how I feel.
Each and every one of my children have been a gift from my loving Heavenly Father, but when I gave birth, I took it for granted and didn't fully appreciate the magnitude of the gift. When a child comes to you through adoption (I imagine it is very similar for couples with infertility as well), it is a totally different experience. I was intimately aware of Heavenly Father's love for me and my family. He was in the very details of my life and I cannot deny His hand. He loves me, just like He loves you, and His plan for me was so much better then my plan. The experience of adoption was one of the greatest testimony builders I have ever had and I will be forever grateful.
My heart is filled with joy that my kind, compassionate, giving, faithful, trustworthy, and beautiful sister could experience it as well. All my love, Lala.
Their two day old baby girl is healthy and strong and she is theirs. I am overcome with love for their daughter's birth-mother. I cannot adequately express how much compassion my heart feels for her. Her's was the most Christ-like and selfless gift imaginable. I love her.
Next week we will travel to meet our new niece and celebrate with my sister and her family. This little girl is their 5th child and she is blessed to have such an incredible family. I feel so grateful that I now have a sister who has experienced the beauty of adoption. It gives me great joy to know that I will always be able to talk to her about it and know that she truly understands how I feel.
Each and every one of my children have been a gift from my loving Heavenly Father, but when I gave birth, I took it for granted and didn't fully appreciate the magnitude of the gift. When a child comes to you through adoption (I imagine it is very similar for couples with infertility as well), it is a totally different experience. I was intimately aware of Heavenly Father's love for me and my family. He was in the very details of my life and I cannot deny His hand. He loves me, just like He loves you, and His plan for me was so much better then my plan. The experience of adoption was one of the greatest testimony builders I have ever had and I will be forever grateful.
My heart is filled with joy that my kind, compassionate, giving, faithful, trustworthy, and beautiful sister could experience it as well. All my love, Lala.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Failure?
Do you ever just feel like a failure? Like everything you do day in and day out just isn't enough? I have been swimming in my insecurities for the past month and I haven't yet found a way out.
It's wierd.
I know that Heavenly Father loves me and that He knows I am doing my best, so why do I have this 'voice' in my head that tells me I'm not enough? Satan has been working hard on me. He does this every single time I have to make a big decision and this summer I have had to make a lot of big decisions.
First, my schooling. I know, I know, I already decided about that...right? I felt peaceful about my decision and yet I have been sick over it for the last few weeks. When I say sick, I mean literally torn apart. I have registered for the classes and sent in my health requirements, but I haven't been able to go purchase the books or order the scrubs because I am so torn. I am trying really hard to discern whether or not Heavenly Father is trying to tell me it is ok to try to go to school, or whether I just need to submit to His will for me and let go of my own ambitions. I am usually pretty good at discerning answers from Him, but this time...
Secondly, a new baby. Again, Matt and I KNOW the right answer on this one, but Satan has literally camped out on my shoulder and whispered to me every chance he gets that I am not a good enough mother.
"You just yelled at your kids and they didn't deserve that."
"James only wants to play with you and you never seem to have enough time for him."
"Remember how you were going to put your foot down and teach your kids an amazing work ethic this summer?...Why are you letting them watch TV?"
"You can't do it Carol, you know that you will be overwhelmed and cranky."
"Remember how fat you get when you are pregnant?"
"Remember how you only get fatter when you nurse?"
"I mean really, what kind of a mother needs to take a nap every day?"
"In the end, you are selfish and lazy, and you will never be good enough."
Oh man, it hurts to type these words (which my heart tells me are lies), but I have heard them sooooo many times that it's hard not to listen. I realize that these 'thoughts' may seem trivial, but to me personally, they cut to the bone.
Please do not misunderstand me, I do not doubt for one minute that my Savior and Heavenly Father are aware of me and my pain. I KNOW that They know that I am good enough, but right now I am in the midst of battle.
I am, once again, in need of your prayers.
It's wierd.
I know that Heavenly Father loves me and that He knows I am doing my best, so why do I have this 'voice' in my head that tells me I'm not enough? Satan has been working hard on me. He does this every single time I have to make a big decision and this summer I have had to make a lot of big decisions.
First, my schooling. I know, I know, I already decided about that...right? I felt peaceful about my decision and yet I have been sick over it for the last few weeks. When I say sick, I mean literally torn apart. I have registered for the classes and sent in my health requirements, but I haven't been able to go purchase the books or order the scrubs because I am so torn. I am trying really hard to discern whether or not Heavenly Father is trying to tell me it is ok to try to go to school, or whether I just need to submit to His will for me and let go of my own ambitions. I am usually pretty good at discerning answers from Him, but this time...
Secondly, a new baby. Again, Matt and I KNOW the right answer on this one, but Satan has literally camped out on my shoulder and whispered to me every chance he gets that I am not a good enough mother.
"You just yelled at your kids and they didn't deserve that."
"James only wants to play with you and you never seem to have enough time for him."
"Remember how you were going to put your foot down and teach your kids an amazing work ethic this summer?...Why are you letting them watch TV?"
"You can't do it Carol, you know that you will be overwhelmed and cranky."
"Remember how fat you get when you are pregnant?"
"Remember how you only get fatter when you nurse?"
"I mean really, what kind of a mother needs to take a nap every day?"
"In the end, you are selfish and lazy, and you will never be good enough."
Oh man, it hurts to type these words (which my heart tells me are lies), but I have heard them sooooo many times that it's hard not to listen. I realize that these 'thoughts' may seem trivial, but to me personally, they cut to the bone.
Please do not misunderstand me, I do not doubt for one minute that my Savior and Heavenly Father are aware of me and my pain. I KNOW that They know that I am good enough, but right now I am in the midst of battle.
I am, once again, in need of your prayers.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Birthday Party Extravaganza!!!
The general rule at our house is that my kids can invite as many friends to their birthday party as they are old. (This rule may need to be modified as my kids are now getting older and older and older.) But this year I was feeling a little brave and so I let Anne invite eight friends to her party...that's how many invitations there were in the much desired Hello Kitty pack. :) It turned out to be a really good thing because half of them couldn't make it for various reasons. In the end, Anne ended up with five friends at her party...the same number as her age...and so no rules were officially broken at our house. :) :) :) We celebrated with cake, ice cream, and good old fashioned slip-n-slide in the back yard. We handed out sidewalk chalk and bubbles for party favors at which point one of the guests replied, "Usually I get candy when I go to parties, do you have any candy instead?" I had to hold back my laugh in front of her, but I loved it because I am sure my kids would say something very similar. Oh the joys of birthdays!!!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
My little girl is five!
Anne is 5 years old!!!
We invited Grandma Charlotte, Aunt Linda, Stephen, and Andrew to celebrate Anne's birthday with some yummy cake. We were lucky that they could join us because Linda and her boys were in town for only a short while.
Ever since she was really small, Anne has watched her older brothers get on the school bus and she has wanted to go with them. I have had to tell her repeatedly through the years that when she is 5 she can ride on the bus as well. Well, she's five now, and one of the first things out of her mouth was, "Now I can ride the school bus, right?" Unfortunately she has to wait just a while longer, but then yes, my little girl will be off to kindergarten.
As a side note, we have gotten into a bad habit at our house. We have the family birthday party with cake and then we have the friend's birthday party with even more cake. (I will post pictures from that party soon.) I didn't ever set out to have this be our plan, but around our house, there is no shortage of cake eating at birthday time. Oh, well.
Happy Birthday Anne! I love you so much!!!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Swimming Lessons
Every summer I enroll my kids in swimming lessons and this summer was no exception. I know how to swim, but I would not call myself a strong swimmer and I want my kids to be strong swimmers. Anyway, we have a friend that teaches swimming lessons in her pool and the kids did great this year. Michael has learned all of the strokes and he surprises me with his speed. James is getting more confident and his swimming lessons took place in the deep end. Anne has finally learned how to enjoy the water and her teacher officially describes her as a little fish. I am grateful that we have lessons available to us so close and that the kids have done so well. Here are some pics of the lessons.
James and Michael
Anne
Michael perfecting his sidestroke.
James working on his elementary backstroke.
Anne "diving" into the pool to race in a relay. She was the youngest one in the race and she didn't really know how to freestyle yet, so she just put her arms to her sides and kicked as hard as she could. Her teacher had to grab her at the half-way point so that she could take a breath, but then she just went for it again. She was like a little torpedo and she beat the older boy she was swimming against. Like I said, a little fish.
James and Michael
Anne
Michael perfecting his sidestroke.
James working on his elementary backstroke.
Anne "diving" into the pool to race in a relay. She was the youngest one in the race and she didn't really know how to freestyle yet, so she just put her arms to her sides and kicked as hard as she could. Her teacher had to grab her at the half-way point so that she could take a breath, but then she just went for it again. She was like a little torpedo and she beat the older boy she was swimming against. Like I said, a little fish.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Philip's First Birthday!
We just finished celebrating Philip's first birthday. Matt and I can hardly believe that we have had him in our home for an entire year...it just goes by so fast.
This last year with Philip has been filled with triumphant highs and desperate lows. He is our leap-of-faith baby and I am so grateful that we took that leap. No matter what, I hope that he knows how much he is loved and that God designed for him to be in our family. Heavenly Father led our hearts to Philip before he was even conceived by his birth parents. When I look back at our path to him, I am in awe of the perfect timing of it. Heavenly Father knew us and all of our trials and He was preparing us for this perfect little boy.
We love you so much Philip and we are privileged to have you in our family.
Happy Birthday!!!
Isn't he cute?
It is hard to be patient when you are waiting for birthday cake!
None of my babies have ever devoured their cake as quickly as Philip did. He certainly seems to be a pro.
Matt, Michael, James, Anne, and Philip
James and Philip
Anne and Philip
Mommy doing her best to wash off all of the goo.
I forgot to take a before picture, but I made a yellow cake with homemade chocolate icing. It had one tiny candle in the middle.
Surprisingly, Philip didn't want very much milk that night. I think it may have had something to do with the enormous quantity of cake he had just consumed. :) :) :)
Goodnight our little one year old. We love you!!!
This last year with Philip has been filled with triumphant highs and desperate lows. He is our leap-of-faith baby and I am so grateful that we took that leap. No matter what, I hope that he knows how much he is loved and that God designed for him to be in our family. Heavenly Father led our hearts to Philip before he was even conceived by his birth parents. When I look back at our path to him, I am in awe of the perfect timing of it. Heavenly Father knew us and all of our trials and He was preparing us for this perfect little boy.
We love you so much Philip and we are privileged to have you in our family.
Happy Birthday!!!
Isn't he cute?
It is hard to be patient when you are waiting for birthday cake!
None of my babies have ever devoured their cake as quickly as Philip did. He certainly seems to be a pro.
Matt, Michael, James, Anne, and Philip
James and Philip
Anne and Philip
Mommy doing her best to wash off all of the goo.
I forgot to take a before picture, but I made a yellow cake with homemade chocolate icing. It had one tiny candle in the middle.
Surprisingly, Philip didn't want very much milk that night. I think it may have had something to do with the enormous quantity of cake he had just consumed. :) :) :)
Goodnight our little one year old. We love you!!!
Angels Cluster Here
My little sister is in the throes of labor at this very moment. She is expecting her third child, a little girl, and her induced labor is progressing really s-l-o-w-l-y.
My heart is aching. Aching for the pain I know she must endure. Aching for her husband in his efforts to support her in this marathon. Aching that I live so far away and that being with her right now, in this moment, is impossible.
I had the sacred privilege of being at the delivery of her first two babies. I drove all day to be with her when she had her son Isaac and when Molly was born she lived in town.
She is a never-ending example of love, kindness, and compassion. Everyone who knows her will vouch for this. I have never known a more selfless person in my entire life. I have always (even when we were teenagers) tried to emulate her.
This quote by J Reuben Clark Jr. sums up exactly how I am feeling and I hope my sweet sister feels it too. "Who will dare to say that angels did not cluster round and guard her and ease her...bed, for she had given another choice spirit its mortal body that it might work out its God-given destiny?”
Brenda, I love you. You are strong. Your body was designed to do this. Soon she will be in your arms. Did I mention I love you?
***Update*** She's here, she's absolutely beautiful, and mother and baby are both doing really well.
My heart is aching. Aching for the pain I know she must endure. Aching for her husband in his efforts to support her in this marathon. Aching that I live so far away and that being with her right now, in this moment, is impossible.
I had the sacred privilege of being at the delivery of her first two babies. I drove all day to be with her when she had her son Isaac and when Molly was born she lived in town.
She is a never-ending example of love, kindness, and compassion. Everyone who knows her will vouch for this. I have never known a more selfless person in my entire life. I have always (even when we were teenagers) tried to emulate her.
This quote by J Reuben Clark Jr. sums up exactly how I am feeling and I hope my sweet sister feels it too. "Who will dare to say that angels did not cluster round and guard her and ease her...bed, for she had given another choice spirit its mortal body that it might work out its God-given destiny?”
Brenda, I love you. You are strong. Your body was designed to do this. Soon she will be in your arms. Did I mention I love you?
***Update*** She's here, she's absolutely beautiful, and mother and baby are both doing really well.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Summer Vacation Part 3 of 3
The room at Snowbird has a balcony with a hot tub on it. It has an absolutely gorgeous view of the mountains and the kids loved sitting in the steamy water.
Time for bed. Grandma is the most amazing help and all of the kids naturally gravitate to her.
This picture cracked me up because Anne had her brothers giving her bunny ears in numerous photos throughout the day. It was fairly frustrating to her, but by the end of the day she decided to do a preemptive strike and give herself some bunny ears. So cute.
Here we are all packed up and ready to head home. Philip loved riding in the cart all the way down to the lobby.
Overall our summer vacation was a huge success. The kids were really good, we were able to visit with Tutu and Papa, and the weather was perfect. Now, what do I do with the rest of the summer?
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)