Sunday, July 26, 2015
It has been such a long time since i updated this blog.
I am in a relationship with a girl for 1 yr 2weeks.
I thought i have finally found the one to settle down.But it seem that the ending remain the same..I dont understand why she always get into bad mood for no reason and she vent it out on me by remaining silence.I used to see the future with her but i cant see the path right in front of us anymore. It became so dark all of the sudden.
Words she said every time were these words"shhhhh。。不要吵。。“ and " Go away" .
It kept ringing in my mind and these words are like knives stabbing and stabbing in my heart.
No matter what i love her alot.
I am in a relationship with a girl for 1 yr 2weeks.
I thought i have finally found the one to settle down.But it seem that the ending remain the same..I dont understand why she always get into bad mood for no reason and she vent it out on me by remaining silence.I used to see the future with her but i cant see the path right in front of us anymore. It became so dark all of the sudden.
Words she said every time were these words"shhhhh。。不要吵。。“ and " Go away" .
It kept ringing in my mind and these words are like knives stabbing and stabbing in my heart.
No matter what i love her alot.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Everyday it feels like i am gonna die
Monday, February 10, 2014
It has been such a long time since i last blog.. almost abandon it.. but i am back here again.. life in working world is definitely tough and tiring.last 3 weeks was literally hell week as the amount of work load is like so much. Until now, i feel like want to leave this place for a period of time. perhaps take a 2mth unpaid leave just to get away.. thats kind of like burnt out feeling..
R/S was originally promising.. but everything seem to turn the other way round. I just wanna love a person with all my heart.But somehow is like something that is too much to ask for..
I am totally frightened to love again because i cant endure this pain anymore..its better off to be a living zombie seriously or a working robot emotionless.
R/S was originally promising.. but everything seem to turn the other way round. I just wanna love a person with all my heart.But somehow is like something that is too much to ask for..
I am totally frightened to love again because i cant endure this pain anymore..its better off to be a living zombie seriously or a working robot emotionless.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Dear all,
It has been a tough and long 6 years of struggling to break my 11.40s barrier for my 100m. Many attempts were make and the results were disappointing ranging from 12.0s to 11.59s. There were moments when i kept asking myself "why the hell am i doing this to suffer so much and when my timing doesnt improve at all?" The thoughts of giving up were in my mind during last year dec 12 when an old injury came back to haunt me It was a strained hamstring injury and it haunted me during my sec sch days n jc days. I thought it was all over as my competition was just 5weeks away and i will not make it in time.
However, i hang on to my belief, i want to end my track career with a blast and not end it with regrets and 6years of effort gone down to drain.Forced recovery was what i did to recover. During my recovery stage, i felt something unlocked in myself when i did 80m workout with others.I wasnt using any strength to run for fearing aggravate my injury. But i know i could go faster..I did some blocks start 2weeks before my competition..and i know that the jc me was back.The block starts were gd and smooth and most importantly i could accelerate. Did a 50m with a handtime of 6 sec. I know something miracle could happen and i know that this time round i can break my personal best.
The race day itself, i was very focused at the start line and i dint think abt my personal best.All i need was a good start and maintain my running form and frequency for as long as i could. The gun shot sounded and poof i am out of starting blocks, driving as hard as i could . during the 50m stage i was increasing the frequency of my leg.. until the 80m i couldnt drive anymore.. frequency was decreasing .. hang in there hang in there was all in my mind.. I dipped at the finishing line and almost fell..and the race was over..
The moment came when i walked back to reporting area. My friends shouted " TJ personal best !!! personal best!! 11.37s!" ." "Must treat dinner liao!!". I seriously couldnt believe my ear..but i am damn happy..but the best part is behind when i receive massage from the coach..my vice capt told me is a 11.22s timing.I was like "wtf, dun bluff me ok".My vice capt said really its a 11.22s timing.I was seriously stunned as i nv thought i could do a 11.22s timing. Considering the fact tt i have been constantly doing 11.8and 11.7s timing.
Seriously, no word can really explain how happy i am or how glad i am..how much joy there is..i almost cried.. it was the tears of joy..my 6 years effort had paid off finally..My team was inspired as they saw me breaking my personal best. I wanna thank those who stood by my side and believe in me ..those who kept supporting me and pull me up in times of difficulty during my track career.Esp my father who had always believe in me i can do it.
I am just glad i did it! Now , i have new targets new goals.. i wanna see where is my limit .. i wanna see how fast can i go..i gave myself a time limit of until june.. i will see whether i can break the 11.0 sec barrier.
It has been a tough and long 6 years of struggling to break my 11.40s barrier for my 100m. Many attempts were make and the results were disappointing ranging from 12.0s to 11.59s. There were moments when i kept asking myself "why the hell am i doing this to suffer so much and when my timing doesnt improve at all?" The thoughts of giving up were in my mind during last year dec 12 when an old injury came back to haunt me It was a strained hamstring injury and it haunted me during my sec sch days n jc days. I thought it was all over as my competition was just 5weeks away and i will not make it in time.
However, i hang on to my belief, i want to end my track career with a blast and not end it with regrets and 6years of effort gone down to drain.Forced recovery was what i did to recover. During my recovery stage, i felt something unlocked in myself when i did 80m workout with others.I wasnt using any strength to run for fearing aggravate my injury. But i know i could go faster..I did some blocks start 2weeks before my competition..and i know that the jc me was back.The block starts were gd and smooth and most importantly i could accelerate. Did a 50m with a handtime of 6 sec. I know something miracle could happen and i know that this time round i can break my personal best.
The race day itself, i was very focused at the start line and i dint think abt my personal best.All i need was a good start and maintain my running form and frequency for as long as i could. The gun shot sounded and poof i am out of starting blocks, driving as hard as i could . during the 50m stage i was increasing the frequency of my leg.. until the 80m i couldnt drive anymore.. frequency was decreasing .. hang in there hang in there was all in my mind.. I dipped at the finishing line and almost fell..and the race was over..
The moment came when i walked back to reporting area. My friends shouted " TJ personal best !!! personal best!! 11.37s!" ." "Must treat dinner liao!!". I seriously couldnt believe my ear..but i am damn happy..but the best part is behind when i receive massage from the coach..my vice capt told me is a 11.22s timing.I was like "wtf, dun bluff me ok".My vice capt said really its a 11.22s timing.I was seriously stunned as i nv thought i could do a 11.22s timing. Considering the fact tt i have been constantly doing 11.8and 11.7s timing.
Seriously, no word can really explain how happy i am or how glad i am..how much joy there is..i almost cried.. it was the tears of joy..my 6 years effort had paid off finally..My team was inspired as they saw me breaking my personal best. I wanna thank those who stood by my side and believe in me ..those who kept supporting me and pull me up in times of difficulty during my track career.Esp my father who had always believe in me i can do it.
I am just glad i did it! Now , i have new targets new goals.. i wanna see where is my limit .. i wanna see how fast can i go..i gave myself a time limit of until june.. i will see whether i can break the 11.0 sec barrier.
Thursday, November 01, 2012
还有七个月，莹你等我好不好。。？现在的我什么都不能给你。但以后的我，我可以很确定我自己一定有能力让你幸福和快乐一辈子。所以请你一定要相信我。
Train yourself to let go of those that you fear to lose.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Cried again after 5 years
I cried this morning while listening to the song "再痛也没管系".
Please dun ask why i cried..because i also duno why did i cried.. just tt when i listened to this song i think of qy.every scenes of her flashes in my mind.garden by the bay and the time spent with her.tears just came up to my eyes. i duno what have i done wrong .i dun understand why..but i miss her ..i really miss her alot..
Please dun ask why i cried..because i also duno why did i cried.. just tt when i listened to this song i think of qy.every scenes of her flashes in my mind.garden by the bay and the time spent with her.tears just came up to my eyes. i duno what have i done wrong .i dun understand why..but i miss her ..i really miss her alot..
I never thought that i would cry again..i dint cried when my 2nd ex or 3rd ex left me..but this time round ,i cried just like when 1st ex left..我的心再痛也没管系
The rain falls because the cloud can no longer handle the weight.The tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain
再痛也没管系
我的心 被你悬在 到不了的天际
想念你 弥漫着空气 快不能呼吸
我的心 被雨困在 挥不去的记忆
眼泪 蒸发了思绪 不让我看清
Friday, September 28, 2012
I am back to blog again..somehow i feel very 纳闷.. 总觉得我错过了很多东西。。今天我错过了陪她去看演唱会的机会。。感到一点失望因为她和她的朋友去看了。
可是我更怪我自己为什么不够细心，不够体贴。。我心里不断的想着要以她开心为最重要。。在这个过程中我好像也停止了自己的防卫系统。如果我不这么做，那么就可能真的没结果了。因为她的防御系统是跟我一模一样的模式。就不在乎。。可是其实很在乎对方。。
有时她也不会发简讯回来，我也为她给很多理由来说服自己。等待的感觉一点都不好受。
突然间也发现了 我在她心里是什么位子。感到心里很痛。。失望的感觉。。
我到了现在还是找不到那所谓的幸福到底是什么..
seriously I miss you so much QY
可是我更怪我自己为什么不够细心，不够体贴。。我心里不断的想着要以她开心为最重要。。在这个过程中我好像也停止了自己的防卫系统。如果我不这么做，那么就可能真的没结果了。因为她的防御系统是跟我一模一样的模式。就不在乎。。可是其实很在乎对方。。
有时她也不会发简讯回来，我也为她给很多理由来说服自己。等待的感觉一点都不好受。
突然间也发现了 我在她心里是什么位子。感到心里很痛。。失望的感觉。。
我到了现在还是找不到那所谓的幸福到底是什么..
seriously I miss you so much QY
