In a couple of days from now, my dreamy summer will feel miles away. Maybe not. I really hope not. It's been an amazing summer full of blue water, sore muscles, custom ice cream orders, pillows, Hawaiian ice, family parties, internet sales, aloe vera, laughter, purple + pink hair dye, (smelly meals from the downstairs neighbors) windy walks, long drives, and love.

I'm grateful for change. I'm even more grateful for gradual change. I have always been so awful at "Endings" or "Goodbyes" or "Last Times" [e.i. "The last time we'll..."] For some reason I've always felt acutely aware of them. And in being acutely aware of the last times, I got all misty and something inside me turned hot and mushy and melty and I focused on how it wouldn't be the same tomorrow as it is today, and felt it as a loss. I felt it as a death of that part of me. I realized, though, that that is a really bad way of appreciating the chapters of life.

Mourning the loss of the chapter you're still living is a waste of time. 

Mourning isn't gratitude. Instead, I'm trying to think not of how different it will be in the next few days when I move out of my summer apartment. I'm nudging my brain back to right now: Let the change happen. Don't worry about it happening or try to stop it from happening. Let it wash over me gradually, and remember that: I've shared this place, these sights, and these experiences with my important people and now I have these great memories. It's the old line, that I really do believe... "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened!" And also when all mental will power is fading, just distract yourself with all the details of something else in the future.. Like a Triathalon. Or school.

That's what I'm trying to do. I'm transitioning WITH my important people, we'll all change and keep alive and keep excited. I got tired of feeling empty. It's crazy how a little perspective can take you from feeling like you're losing something to feeling full and hopeful and smiley. It's the end of an era, and boy has it been a great ride. Bring on the next one!

Beautiful illustration by Amy Borrell.

This is my little buddy Allie getting to hug her great-grandpa. It's heart-warming to be able to see + capture things like this.
I had the chance to take pictures at my boyfriend's family reunion last month, and boy was it easy to snap this fun, good-lookin bunch! His mom put the whole thing together basically single-handedly. Some families came from as far as 3,000 miles away! It was great to see how happy everyone coming together made her. I'll be lucky if I can get in on this gene pool.

I just finished going back through all the journals and blogs I could remember writing in, and goodness gracious.. I have so much to be thankful for these days of my life! 

The times they are a-changin.

A lot of living has made me more grateful than ever.

And just a side-note (just kidding, it's a huge deal); Missy is getting married!! Wow. There are so many ways I'm feeling about it, but mostly I'm trying to buck up and get ready for the changes coming. I'm also trying to be the best Maid of Honor I can be!

I love my sister, and I really admire the two of them for going after what they want.


You've probably noticed I re-vamped the blog. Makes me feel refreshed.

I used to write much more personal things on this slice of the internet. Life gets complicated, and more and more people read my writings. For that I am both grateful and a little resentful. I think I've said something to that extent before, now that I think about it. But I just wanted to apologize because my very most favorite blogs are the ones that have no filters, people just say what they're thinking or what they've been living. They're honest and alive and refreshing.

I'm worried my blog is becoming boring, and less and less personal.

I've been sort of cataloging my days in my head by deciding on a quote from that day that kind of encapsulates (big word) everything I should/want to remember about it. Maybe I should start writing the quote from my day on flutterby. What do you think? Whenever possible, I'd also write about why I chose those words specifically. Sometimes it might not be a good idea though.

Previous day-quotes include:

"Why don't you expelliomus him?"
-Someone sweet, who knows I love Harry Potter, even though he doesn't love it himself... yet.
"I like Allie, Mom."
-A fellow Allie, who was unaware that I could hear her heartwarming words from the next room. Made me feel like a kid again.

"..."
-Daisy, my pup. She can't talk, but we sat on the porch in the sun last week, and she made my day just by wanting to snuggle in on me out there.

"If you're a bird, I'm a bird."
-The same someone sweet, when I didn't believe he could give me a line from The Notebook.

Hello again! Have you almost forgotten about me? I'm still here, and I have something to show you.

I saw this for the first time this morning and I've watched it probably 12 or 13 times since then. I love everything, everything, everything about this music video and about this song. It's by a Belgian-Australian singer/songwriter who goes by the stage name Gotye (interestingly, pronounced gore-ti-yeah. Hmm.) and it features a beautiful and powerfully voiced Kiwi singer/songwriter by the name of Kimbra.

This video doesn't leave me bored for one second. I especially love the interaction between the two of them in the second half of the video. It is reactive and heartfelt.. and brings in both sides of the story, and leaves you feeling a little confused, just like a relationship! Haha. But even his solo section in the first half just plain captivates me.

I think I'm in love with him. I love the way his face moves. Is that a weird thing to say?



Gonna watch it once more, then get to sleeping. Look at the time, for Pete's sake!!

I have so many talented friends! I've just been absolutely loving and highly impressed with my friend Steve's photography skillz the last little while. Seems like it's out of no where, but probably not. Anyway, he's shooting life in film, and I just get so happy to see what he posts on Facebook. Check it, dudes.

"What a useless post," I think to myself before I even begin it. Let me apologize in advance for what is sure to be a useless post. I just miss blogging.

Here's my update in list form:

Navajo Mountain was a huge success in every way!
School is staring soon and my schedule is coming together finally.
I'm tired.
I've moved again.
I'm kind of a cluttered mess.
I'm craving learning experiences.
I'm looking forward to an upcoming road trip.
I'm singing for an audience soon and I'm nervous, I feel like I'm very out of practice.
I've been feeling so inadequte and intimidated by the silliest things, while at the same time feeling really confident and emotionally self-reliant.

Confusing.

pretty sure photo is via  Jake Garn

In a little while I'm going to be living in the Navajo Nation for a week. I'll be helping build houses. Two of them.

Anyway, this will be me:

I'm in love!

Again.

I'm constantly falling in love with blogs and websites.

As you know.

Enough with this new line business.

Just enjoy this blog.

STORAGE  |  GLEE
"In Defense of Artful Storage"

Here are some of my faves from the recent postings, but everything is solid gold. SOLID GOLD I tell you!

I'm currently pining over all these paper dolls..

Well, they're fabric wall decals!

Ah! I, as many little girls did, loved playing with paper doll dress ups. Especially the ones you could buy from the creepy Doll Museum in Provo. So much fun to be had. And honestly those influenced my thoughts on fashion and beauty much more than movies or magazines.. when I was like 6-10. I still want cute underwear like paper dolls have.

Okay, but seriously I want them.