AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Context: God added spice to an otherwise monotonous and one-sided pining.
God! What is this man???!!!
Guess what? I found out today that the guy whom i had a secret(well, not really cos since the biggest gossiper ard already knows!) crush on happened to be in the same project group as me!!!!! AH!!!! I don't know to be happy or what? Seems like God's playing a joke on me. God must have seen my previous entry!!
God, what do you want me to do now? I don't want to be a fool. WHat do u want me to know or learn?
God, your will. Nothing more, nothing less. Amen.
a happy gal once again.
happy to give the pen of her life to the Creator of all; the Lord Jesus Christ.
happy to have the joy of the LOrd as her one and only strength.
happy to be still and know that He's God.
my God, our God.
*big big smile!!! cheese!*
gosh.
I can't help falling in love with the idea of love..
SOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't wanna be like this
I don't wanna think this way
I don't wanna miss someone
So terribly, so miserably, so one-sidely
I don't wanna behave the way i do
I don't wanna think of you all the time
I don't wanna be such a wimp
I don't wanna say one thing yet does another
I don't wanna play anymore
I don't wanna keep pressing for an answer
I don't wanna dicuss it over and over again
I don't wanna have no end
I don't want.
27 Sep
Today's work was slack. Nothing much to do! Most importantly, fat Peter wasn't there! HAHA! So much more relaxed, don't have to hear his nagging. CHEERS!
Also had a chance to taste the more popular drink there; Strawberry Delight. i was quite delighted when asked to try but it did not taste delightful lor. Very sour!! But they said it's like that one. Drink alreadi got stinging feeling in the stomach.. sour!
Told the guy who resembled Johan that he looked like him. And he asked me whether that's good or bad. Joyce, you tell me how to answer! In the end, i din answer him..
Read Esther's blog.. her bdae stuff makes me so envious!! Blessed gal indeed. Like she said, only once in a yr! YA man! Treasure bdae pple! Some friends i know don't even celebrate their bdaes.. don't like to receive presents some more! Say bdae holds no meaning for them! Most probably, they don't lead happy lives. Happy or not, you've only got one life. Once you die, it's gone forever! Don't regret only when you see your own funeral, thinking of how miserable you've lead your life. Wondering of a million 'what-ifs'... By then,
WHAT'S THE USE?!!
Dear Lord,
You've shown me. You have shown me your love, your great love, your overwhelming love. You've shown me your way and your will. You too have shown me your plan for me. Before i was ignorant and sinful. Now i'm wiser and cleansed. By you. You are faithful Lord. It amazes me how much you've done for me. You've shown me grace, mercy, patience, compassion, and most importantly your faithfulness, hope and love for me. I wished i had known earlier. Thank you Lord for being faithful, merciful and loving to me. I'm your servant, not worthy of your grace. But saved by the blood of Jesus, i came to you Lord, to serve you. Thank you for sending Jesus down to die for us. Bringing us back to you again. Praise you Lord! My life changed and was transformed, gradually, for the better, by you. From ignorance-> knowledge, sin->forgiveness, hate->hateless, darkness->light, sorrow->joy and unloved->loved. I wouldn't be who i am without you Lord. Please do not forsake or leave me Lord. I need you in my life. For great is Your love.
Lord, there are many things i know not of yet, like how to be a godly Christian, the Christian you want me to be. My walk with you is not consistent. I fumble, tremble, doubt, stray, deny you many times. Yet you did not forsake me. You reminded me that you are with me. How geat thou art! Along the way. you laid the path I was to walk. Each and every step. Each and every detail. Lord, you never leave anything good out. You are the sheperd, we are your sheep. Lord i pray that you will continue to love me, bless me, enlighten me, strengthen me and prompt me in my life, as your will for me. I do not know what plan you have for me Lord but i believe there's one. As your plan unfolds Lord, I pray that you will give me a heart of willingness, willingness to serve. I still have more to learn. Amen.
Your servant,
Serene
26 Sep
Surprisely, i enjoyed work today. Everything was just so informal, casual and fun-loving. My colleagues were so tongue-in-cheek,so much so that i actually enjoyed working. And one of my colleagues looks so much like Johan! haha.. if u're reading this. He's very willing to teach me. So nice. Makes me looks forward to wk now! Hope that stays!!
Even though that fat peter (so so unlike the biblical Peter!!!), my manager, did a fine job in provoking me to almost spew the four letter word, the rest made up for it. Thank God!!! He was just super duper alamak irritating! His haughty tongue spares NO ONE who displeases him. Seems that he's biased against me. But i don't give a damn. I'm not scared of him. And funnily, he asked me why i always smile. As if that's a sin!! And i retorted :"do u rather i pull a long face? and is smiling wrong?" Nothing wrong he said, just that he wants to learn to smile as often as i do!
OMG. hehe.. Light of the world. I was quite taken aback by his answer! The next time he nags at me, i'm gonna smile my sweetest smile at him. hahaha.. la la la! Guys, even when u're working, you can also bring God glory. Be light of the world. Show others what a Great God we have. That we stand unfazed of the temptations of the world. That we remain unshaken in our beliefs. That we continue to be loving to the unloving. So that God's name shines.
Halleiujah.
A guy:" I think i should stop treating girls so nice.misunderstandings eh."
Me:"You very nice to girls meh?"
A guy:"Not to you."
humph. nice one, i would say. Point taken. I think he is REALLY not nice to me at all. i thought i would be pissed, but the more i thought about it, the more i thought "who cares?" haha. Sometimes, we have to be reminded by these people; people who don't love us, so that we better appreciate those who do. Afterall, not everyone in this entire planet loves you. It's only probably a handful who do, and sometimes we take their love for granted.
Have you ever wondered why you sometimes don't love the ones who loves you but loves the ones who don't loves you?
Loving those who don't love you takes a great deal of effort and courage. But loving those who loves you is easier. How come do we always attempt the more difficult task before doing the easier one?
A: "Hey, let me tell you something."
B: "Ya what?"
A: "That day when i was walking down.."
B: "Wait.hey beng!"
A: "Orchard and i saw ah lian and.."
B: "Ya you were walking where?"
A: "I was walking down.."
B: "hey ah huay!"
A: "orchard and i saw ah lian and that guy!"
B: "Sorry, and you were walking down and then?"
A: "DOWN ORCHARD! SAW AH LIAN AND A GUY!"
B: "hey, long time never see you leh ah seng!"
B: "Paiseh, where were you?"
A: "where am i? I am at.. i... i DUNNO!!! Forget it!"
(storms off..)
B: "Aiyah, i also never finish talking then he walk away. I also haven't ask him who's that guy with ah lian. Haiz.."
There you have it. Communication.
You know, i sometimes marvel at the so-called "rules" and intricacies of communication. How 2 people can communicate yet not understand one another. How 2 other people need not communicate yet perfectly understands what's on each other's mind.
That tells us that communication need not necessarily involve words, in order for understanding to take place.
Then what's communication? My best guess could only be that it involves prior knowledge of the person and really how much you know the person. Like how he/she speaks when happy, sad, excited or depressed. Like how he/she might react when faced with certain circumstances etc.
So i think, how much you understand a person depends on how much you know him/her. And of cos, the more you understand and know, the more effective the communication between the both of you. In cases like these, you might find yourself talking less and less. Nevertheless, you still communicate something.
If i'm not wrong, the bible mentions something like "the words of a fool are many..". I reckon then that the opposite is true; that the words of the wise are few.
I've definitely exeprienced enough to tell you that sometimes, you get across more to another person by keeping your message short and sweet, rather than by beating around the bush. Instead of saying several sentences, try shortening it to one, or a phrase. Sometimes, i like to blah a lot ...talk and talk non-stop, using very descriptive words, lingo and differnt langs, thinking that the other person would understand better. That's when Joyce(or others) would rebuke:" So you are trying to say that you're pissed?" And i'll be like:"yeah, how did you know?"
Laugh all you want...
I try to change
I change to try
For whom, for what, how, when and why
I still can't figure
Is it right
Or is it wrong?
I can't seem to agree with everyone else
Thanks for telling me the truth
It hurts but i know it's for my good
For those who didn't
I wonder why
Are you afraid to say
Or think it won't make any difference?
I'm trying
But will i ever get the recognition
Or do i remain dead in my trepasses?
I'm beginning to hate the condemnation around me. Why do pple always give credit to the end result but not the process? Why do pple always not see the trying part? Why?
Why do pple always see the speck of sawdust in others' eyes but not the plank in their own eyes?
Is genuine acceptance dead?
"I'd rather be loved for who i am than who i'm not."
Same for condemnation.
The person i always thought understood me didn't.
The person i always thought wouldn't understand did.
Sportafrenzia!!!
went dinner with joyce and sm's gang yest. And Sm was super ONZ!!! Should have challenged him to eat his chao fan with a toothpick!! Ha!
HAPPY BDAE SIMING!! HAVE A GREAT DAY. MAY YOU BE BLESSED EACH AND EVERY DAY! :)
Have i changed? i hope not. Is being more quiet me? Not the usual me, but the real me? There's nothing for me to fan about also.. maybe i'm just thinking about.. nothing in particular.
Life's been good so far.. got a job which i'll be starting on mon, not exactly looking forward to it. but who knows? Maybe there's something there for me to learn.
..maybe, maybe,I just wanna learn how to soar..
In a cold dank prison cell lay a pastor who was bleeding, bruised, and torture-weary. It was a cell reserved for the dying.There were others in the "death cell", prisoners beaten and suffering, preparing to die. Iseu, the pastor, though his strength was gone, spoke to the others about the beauties of heaven and the love of Jesus. His body was still on earth, but mentally he was already in heaven.
One of the prisoners was the Communist who had tortured Iseu to this point of death. The government had arrested their own comrade and tortured him. Now he, too, was near death.
The prisoner who witnessed the following drama described it as a scene from heaven saying,"You need not be in heaven to see heaven."
The despairing Communist awoke in the night and cried out, "Please, pastor, say a prayer for me. I have committed such crimes. I cannot die."
The agonising pastor, leaning on two of the other prisoners for support, slowly made his way to the torturer's side. Iseu caressed his torturer on his head and said," I have forgiven you with all of my heart and i love you. If i, who am only a sinner can love and forgive you, more so can Jesus who is the son of God and who is love incarnate. Return to Him. He longs for you much more than you wish to be forgiven. You just repent."
In the dark cell where hardness and hopelessness were the usual companions, the torturer found the most tender affection and the most unmerited mercy. The torturer confessed all his murders to the tortured one and they prayed together. Then the two suffering men embraced like long lost brothers. The heartless, embittered, tragically lonely hater of Christianity stared straight into the wondrous eyes of love... and melted. And he, too, became a lover of Christ.
It was that very night they both died. In the "death cell" it was death that usually got the last laugh.
But, where there is love, it is Jesus that will surely triumph.
-adapted from "when God writes your love story"
只 怕 我 自 己 會 愛 上 你
不 敢 讓 自 己 靠 得 太 近
怕 我 沒 什 么 能 夠 給 你
愛 你 也 須 要 很 大 的 勇 氣 ....
"如 果 真 的 喜 歡 ， 早 就 表 白 了."
5th Sep, Sun
Today's service is an eye-opener. CAT and DOG Theology. Ps George is animated and interactive, to say the least. I must say that the more he shared, the more i think i resemble a CAT.
a CAT christian.
He made me think, reflect and possibly, repent. so glad that God got him to say that, for all of us were so ignorant of that! Praise God!
Dear God,
We repent before you
Let us not fall for the Devil's lies
And miss the point
of what You've called us for
Open the eyes of our hearts, Lord
Cats we wanna be no more
We want to see the full magnitude of Your glory
And give You thanks, praise and honour
Be it so ever deeply rooted in our hearts that it's never about US, but
All about YOU.
Amen.
5 Sep, Sun
Yest was his bdae. Sent him my greetings. He was surprised.
'as long as you're happy'- i really meant it, but i dont think he got it.
我 想 沒 有 必 要 強 求 ， 不 是 嗎 ？
HC can really sing. no joke! He sang so well that we thought that he sang with analogue. impressive.
會 照 雇 女 人 的 男 人 是 否 是 好 男 人 ？
Hey there,
Thanks for the detailed comment regarding the "..dont trust guys" entry. must say that u really make me think. will surely check up the bible references u listed- like :X said, a good bible study. hehe. yup.
guess u are a guy, well, at least there's some saving grace... haha.. kidding. anyway, thanks! :)
It's the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance.
It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dyin', that never learns to live.
Been catching the Amazing Race recently and i must say that i learnt a few pointers from it!
One: It's refreshing to see Christians taking part! Amazing thing's, they pray! Heard a couple of "God help us", "in Jesus's name" here and there. It's really refreshing to know.
Two: You'll never know who has the last laugh.
Just look at the bowling mums and the two sisters! and one thing, the team which gets conceited usually DON'T win.
Three: Even Christians are scheming. I always thought Chris and Kim is an excellent team. Sporting, seldom complains, tolerant and has good sportsmanship etc, till Chris said something abt making the leading team (cant rem the couple's names) feel so good abt themselves that they might let their guard down. That is cunning. oh.. haiz.. man always fall short of the glory of God, it seems. What can i say?
It's only a game man! argh..
LASTly,
2 man. Same situation. Different responses. k, there's this 2 couples. the thing that happened was that their girlfriends were being molested by other men on the crowded train. One exclaimed that "I'll bust his ass!!!" while almost wanting to beat pple up. the other shouted " God, help her!!!".
Interesting. Supposing ah, what would my bf say?
Interesting.
Went to study at Jess's house yest, like so guai rite? well, if i said i was gonna study who would believe me? so till then..
The current issue that bothers the 3 of us gals, namely jojo, lucy and i has been popping up once too often. So often that we cant seem to 甩 掉. 怎 么 甩 也 甩 不 掉. How 慘....
Fact is, we've been hearing about gals our age getting engaged, married and even having kids! At our age! my god, i'm still studying!
H--E--L--P!!!
On a more serious note, is that a rising trend or what? I'm sure those are true, but i'm just kinda skeptical. If many young people are tying the knot and having kids, why the need for SDU, "2 or more if you can afford them program", baby bonuses and mounting concerns over the rising singlehood?
of cos every gal wish to settle down someday, some time, somewhere with that someone...
and that's a wish..
till it's materialised.
Guys cannot be trusted. Least not those 17s 18s. Protest all u want. I've seen and believed.
