Here to make sure I'm still alive.

So a lot has happened since March 2014.
More than 2 years ago omg wtf?
In that 2 years I have lost 20 kilos and regained 10.
WTF. I know. More on that after I lose what I had regained. Hahahha.

In other news I'm no longer an undergrad, but also I didn't achieve what I wanted in terms of results. But (again my personality shines through here) oh well, that is that. Okay I really want to actually learn and achieve now. Though its been less than a week and I'm already regretting my first so-called commitment as an adult - my first official full-time job. I really don't know where this will take me, and if its a blessing in disguise or really a waste of my time but I guess I'll just keep on looking.

I feel like it's been really long since I actually sat down and read for fun. Need to slot that in. I'm just someone who needs a lot of alone time doing nothing.. I guess...? HAHAHHAHAHA

Okay so little by little I'll work on being better and pushing myself because to be honest I haven't given myself a hard enough time. Scum.bag.brain...!

5th march

I flushed out all my older posts because they were juvenile, annoying and repetitive.
After a clean start, I seem to find myself, 81 posts later, at the exact same spot.
This has to change. Doesn't it just mean I haven't grown at all?

(This is the part where the old me will go "Just kidding, it's not like I care")

Albeit, I have mentioned many things here which I have not yet fulfilled.

I'm starting to make changes, I'm starting to stick to these starts, and I'm starting to get nearer to the ends. Not the end of the time I have for each thing I start, but the end where the goal is.
(Excuse me if this chunk sounds grammatically wrong, I have no other way to express it outside of my brain)

I really don't wanna be back at square one a year from now. I wanna come back to this place, feeling happy about myself and my life, happier the next post, and even happier each time I post after that. A year from now, I will have at least achieved one of my two main goals.

Blogging for school reminded me of this. Blogging about the Internet is hella hard okay. It's like talking about the mouth. I'm sorry I just can never be enthusiased(look for this word in the Barney dictionary) about school. It's too early in the morning to be on time, it's too early in the morning to be cheery. So I will continue being late for some classes, and I will continue sleeping through half my classes, but I will make sure to have these bouts of seriousness where I work towards achieving a 3.5 GPA and maintaining it throughout until graduation.

So anyway, bye, yes, very boring, yet again, I hope to come back more confident and more interesting, or rather more bothered about typing about stuff(and taking and uploading pictures) other than what's going on in my head.

umms.

fire as in im very motivated to chiong now lor.

I'm lika lame ya.
 ok I dont understand why people dont see it the way I do.
someone teach me how to paint a pretty picture.

The old man, the young boy and the donkey

5: Kinderland

"Aiyah nothing big one la also not Montesorri or anything"

7: Cedar Primary

"HUH. Canossa better. That school lousy one."
"HUH. My daughter RGS leh."

12: 225

"Why you don't do better..."
"Why you don't work harder..."
"You could have done better and gone to a better school..."

13: Holy Innocents'

"HUH? What is that?"
"Where is that?"

"Wah that school a lot of ah lian one"

14: deteriorated

"Better start working hard"
"Wake up your idea" <- As I've always mentioned, a phrase that makes completely no sense.

16: 14/18 or 12/16

"Wah not here not there, can go where ah?"
"Try JC lah go poly for what"

17: SP

"Poly ah? Orhh.....hard to go local U ah" (discerning smirk, thinking poly kids go nowhere)

19/20: SIM UB

"SIM ah..."
in their heads "See la poly no use one. JC is the best. Go SIM use money buy paper only"

Every fucking shit you do, fuckers have shit to say about it.

But I don't fucking give a shit.

보여줄 께

reason to get free stuff

HOLA

16 days to my birthday

you can buy me:

20pks of blkmth
a hard disk - preferably 500gb - 1tb
clothes that are pretty (i lean towards blue, silver and black, lacking thin sweaters wearable in the singapore autumn, and shorts!)
anything that can keep me from eating
etude face color corset #5 tight shading corset (any amount - knock yourself out, its cheap and its my base powder, i need like 10 to match up to the amount of bb creams i have stocked up before i finish them and buy foundation that actually matches my shade)
toners that keep oily skintypes at bay (or any acne prevention items you might suggest)
books (i like to collect whole serieses(sp?) hehe)
a legit camera digital/polaroid (if you're feeling generous, you can combine it with my christmas present; be aware that i do not lug heavy things around due to my back/shoulder issues)
a nail package (any kind! i get so sexcited over nails)
a boyfriend

and you can help me hint my dad if you see him:
to buy me this
 http://www.ssense.com/women/product/alexander_wang/black_studded_diego_bucket_bag/59382
or
http://www.ssense.com/women/product/alexander_wang/brown_leopard_calf-hair_trigone_wallet/53838

again, if you're feeling generous, knock yourself out, the chips are down with my dad, and i'm practically in love with everything on that site.

THANK YOU, MUCH LOVE XX

giving

like the words i see in the sky,
they are cast into stone.

nothing fills me but thanks.
maybe the blood is worth a little more gold.
i always believed it was unbelievable, but the sun seems to show me so.

so broken down and stripped,
so torn, and so dry

i guess i really wasn't as big as i thought i was.

essayd

I honestly just had a good laugh at my URL.
LOL. Seriously? Any other soul even reading this? Hahahhahahhah
Oh and it even changed while I was away. .sg liao worrrrrr

This is actually the lowest point of my life.


Maybe we would all have been better off not growing up.


I thought I hiatus damn long hahhahah but it's been.. 7-8 weeks? Hmmmmmmmmmm